Posted tagged ‘funk’

“Sadness is almost never anything but a form of fatigue.”

April 30, 2016

My house was chilly this morning. Even Fern’s fur felt cold. I finally remembered my thermostat has its own mind on the weekends so I checked and found the house was 64˚. I turned the thermostat to manual and cranked up that heat to a respectable 68˚. It is blowing now, and I can already feel the difference.

The color of the sky is so lovely it almost doesn’t look real. It is as if a painter mixed his blues until he found the perfect one. The sun is bright but hasn’t yet the strength to warm the air. It is sweatshirt weather so I suppose I shouldn’t complain as winter coat weather wasn’t that long ago.

My current funk continues. I figure a really warm day, a ride in the car with the windows down and a Dunkin’ Donut butternut donut would go a long way in brightening my weekend.

I can’t remember the last time I jumped from grumpy into a funk. Usually grumpy goes away quickly because I take a ride and sometimes find something entertaining or funny or I shop and happen upon exactly what I wanted or what I needed or, even better, a surprise I never expected. I think shopping at little stores will be what I’ll do today. I’d love a surprise.

If the weather changed enough and got much warmer, I could while away the hours on the deck and that would totally upend my mood. I always think of Cinderella and the blue birds. I loved the one in the kerchief.

That blue bird reminded me nobody wears kerchiefs any more. My mother would sometimes wear one to hide the bobby pins she used to curl her hair, but even bobby pins are gone. If I needed one, my mother would rummage through her purse and almost always found one at the bottom. She also used to find pennies and tobacco. I remember each curl was held by a bobby pin. It must have taken hours to do that.

I am the only one awake. I think I’ll have another cup of coffee and maybe some toast.

“The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.”

April 14, 2016

Given the lateness of the hour, you’d think I dawdled the morning away. That is not even close to what happened. The last few days I have been in a funk, a malaise if you will, as my back has been especially bad, especially painful. Yesterday Gracie and I went to the dump. A couple of the bags were so heavy I had to drag them, but they had to go. They had developed dump smell. When I had finished tossing the bags into the big bins, I could barely get back to the car for the pain. I sat down for a while, patted Gracie and bemoaned my fate. After that we had two more errands. When I got home, my back was so bad I took up residence on the couch and stayed there all the rest of the day. I caught up with my DVR’d programs, read through the mountain of catalogues and took a nap. This morning I was so much better, and the best part is the grayness has gone.

I had that weird bout of energy I get, one of those walk around the house and dust with my sweatshirt mornings. I washed all the dog’s dishes and her placemat. I swept the kitchen floor and then changed all the newspapers at Fern’s alternative cat box by the front door. I even made my bed. I feel accomplished.

Today I have to go to the vet’s to pick up Fern and Maddie’s medicine. Maddie’s medicine is for thyroid and Fern’s medicine is for kidneys which, given her age, aren’t functioning as well as they should. The vet figures that’s why Fern has chosen not to use the litter boxes. Fern would have had to take a couple of pills a day. I would have needed to hire a crew to help. When I told the vet how feisty Fern is, she said I could get it in a rub but it was more money, as if I cared. The rub goes on her ear. That’s my only part. The rest is up to Fern.

Today is beautiful, a bit chillier than yesterday but all in all it’s a lovely day. With the change in seasons I have noticed an adjective change. In winter I would have said today is colder than yesterday. Now, in spring, it is chillier.

I guess all in all I’m feeling lucky. After everything it sounds strange I’m sure, but today my back doesn’t hurt for the first time in nearly a week. The Red Sox finally beat the Orioles. My house is clean enough for company should someone drop by to visit. The vet bill this month caused tremors, my hands shook signing my name, but we finally know what’s going on, and Fern will get better.

Things are looking up in my world.

“This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It’s that easy, and that hard.”

October 4, 2015

I am in a funk. I have been struck by malaise. Maybe it’s the rain’s fault. It does get old after 4 or 5 days. Maybe it’s my back which has been hurting and making me grumpy. My plans for the day were to stay home, not get dressed and lie in bed and read. Now I have to go out to get cat food. The only 2 cans left are back-ups, food I bought for them to taste which they hated and left untouched in the dish. Rather than toss the cans, I kept them as an emergency supply hoping hunger would overcome distaste. It didn’t happen so I have to get dressed and go to Agway. I thought I’d take a break today and not write Coffee, but then I got started and just kept going. I guess I need a place where I can whine and complain a bit.

The sun was out this morning for about ten minutes. I got hopeful. Foolish me! The gray, damp day has returned. I suspect we’ll have rain later. I had to run the heat again for one cycle this morning. With the cold, I have to keep the back door shut which complicates Gracie going in and out. I figure I’ll put the storm door in today. That’s a surrender of sorts.

Right now Gracie’s deep breathing, her occasional snores and the tap of the keys are all I can hear. The house is almost eerily quiet.

I have the habit of reading what I write out loud. I have to hear the words. My ears tell me more about the language than my eyes. I make corrections based on the sounds of the connected words and on the choices of words. Sometimes it takes me a while to correct a single sentence until it sounds right. I am now at the read aloud stage. I am done writing.

“Demoniac frenzy, moping melancholy, / And moon-struck madness.”

November 15, 2011

It is another warm day, but this one has sun and blue skies. Rain is possible later so I need to get out and about before the rain starts. I want to take full advantage of the wonder of a warm day this late in November.

My deck is filled with piles of leaves as is my lawn. I couldn’t help myself this morning when I went to get the papers. I shuffled through those leaves the same way I used to when I was a kid on my way to school. I’d walk in the gutter beside the sidewalk and kick the leaves as I walked. I loved watching the leaves scatter and hearing the sounds they made underfoot. It was the same this morning.

My brother-in-law Rod called me from the road last night to chat. He, who lives in Colorado, is in Minnesota for business. He travels at least two weeks a month. I told him I was in a bit of a funk, and he laughed and wondered how I could be as I had just returned from my trip to Africa. I whined and complained that it was nearly three months ago. Save my pennies was his advice. I think he’s right. I have a bug, a bit of African flu, and it can only be cured by returning to Ghana. I’m setting my sights to return in a year and a half which will give me time to collect enough of those pennies he mentioned.

Yesterday was a nothing day. I didn’t even make my bed. I did brush my teeth and changed from one set of cozies to a clean set of cozies. Today is different.  I’ve already showered, done laundry, gotten dressed, polished a couple of tables and made my bed. I think of it as fit of frenzy. Maybe I need medication.


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