Posted tagged ‘malaise’

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“Ô, Sunlight! The most precious gold to be found on Earth.”

April 15, 2018

A malaise has taken over. I don’t feel good. My stomach is a bit upset. I tried to figure out why and came up with the weather as the possible culprit. Seeing clouds was bad enough, but it is just so cold. I sat on the couch a while before I even got coffee, a bad sign. Usually the first thing I do is make coffee. Not this morning. I don’t even want a second cup. Call the paramedics!!

According to the weatherman this morning, today is the coldest April 15th on record. Oh joy!! (sarcasm doesn’t translate well to the written word!)

Maddie and Henry are sleeping, one on the table and the other on the couch. They are each curled up in a ball. Henry seems more comfortable. I guess he has decided this is it, his final stop, his home. Yesterday he ate in the kitchen. Today he hasn’t chosen to go to his dish yet. He gets close but stops. I’m leaving the dish there and figure hunger will motivate him. He has used one side of the dog door, coming in, but it has been hit or miss. I’m going to work on that.

I did get my laundry done yesterday. I just haven’t folded the second load. I feel accomplished.

I’m falling back on travel stories because my life is quiet. It lacks adventure. The only thing on my dance card is the dump. I didn’t go last week and a bag of trash has been sitting in the trunk all this time. I added another bag yesterday. I miss my dump companion, Gracie. I’d take Henry, but the two times we went to do errands together he pooped in the back seat. The car makes him nervous. I will go to the dump by myself.

On the Belgium trip, we stayed in a B&B which was a farm. Outside my window was a quick running stream. I could hear the water as I fell asleep. It was lovely. In the morning, my dad and I checked out the barn. He almost stepped on a flop of horse poop; instead, he held his nose and pointed at it. I snapped his picture. That became a signature move for my dad. I have him holding his nose and pointing at poop in a variety of countries. I laugh every time I see the pictures. He looks delighted. It was fun.

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“The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.”

April 14, 2016

Given the lateness of the hour, you’d think I dawdled the morning away. That is not even close to what happened. The last few days I have been in a funk, a malaise if you will, as my back has been especially bad, especially painful. Yesterday Gracie and I went to the dump. A couple of the bags were so heavy I had to drag them, but they had to go. They had developed dump smell. When I had finished tossing the bags into the big bins, I could barely get back to the car for the pain. I sat down for a while, patted Gracie and bemoaned my fate. After that we had two more errands. When I got home, my back was so bad I took up residence on the couch and stayed there all the rest of the day. I caught up with my DVR’d programs, read through the mountain of catalogues and took a nap. This morning I was so much better, and the best part is the grayness has gone.

I had that weird bout of energy I get, one of those walk around the house and dust with my sweatshirt mornings. I washed all the dog’s dishes and her placemat. I swept the kitchen floor and then changed all the newspapers at Fern’s alternative cat box by the front door. I even made my bed. I feel accomplished.

Today I have to go to the vet’s to pick up Fern and Maddie’s medicine. Maddie’s medicine is for thyroid and Fern’s medicine is for kidneys which, given her age, aren’t functioning as well as they should. The vet figures that’s why Fern has chosen not to use the litter boxes. Fern would have had to take a couple of pills a day. I would have needed to hire a crew to help. When I told the vet how feisty Fern is, she said I could get it in a rub but it was more money, as if I cared. The rub goes on her ear. That’s my only part. The rest is up to Fern.

Today is beautiful, a bit chillier than yesterday but all in all it’s a lovely day. With the change in seasons I have noticed an adjective change. In winter I would have said today is colder than yesterday. Now, in spring, it is chillier.

I guess all in all I’m feeling lucky. After everything it sounds strange I’m sure, but today my back doesn’t hurt for the first time in nearly a week. The Red Sox finally beat the Orioles. My house is clean enough for company should someone drop by to visit. The vet bill this month caused tremors, my hands shook signing my name, but we finally know what’s going on, and Fern will get better.

Things are looking up in my world.

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“And falling’s just another way to fly.”

June 24, 2014

I have come outside to the deck hoping the malaise which has descended will disappear in the glory of the morning. I have to admit that first sentence does make me chuckle. I sound like a Victorian woman swooning on the chaise holding a handkerchief infused with lavender. Even Gracie too seems not herself. She followed me to the deck then went back inside to her crate. She doesn’t usually ever leave me.

Yesterday I fell twice. Nothing serious, a few scrapes. The first was due to inattention. I was talking and walking, luckily I hadn’t added gum to the mix, when I tripped over one of those parking blocks. My elbow and knee got it that time. The second was going up the deck stairs. My flip-flop turned and I tripped on it. I was two steps from the top, which almost sounds like a song title. Anyway, I went down on the deck and this time it was my hand and elbow. Today my knee and shoulder hurt. I have no idea why the shoulder hurts.

It was a chilly night. I don’t think my feet ever got warm. I burrowed as did Gracie and Fern. I should have gotten up and gone downstairs for the afghan, but I didn’t want to leave the bed and my luck during the day with stairs hadn’t been all that good so I chose chilly to wounded and bleeding.

Yesterday was a productive day so today won’t be though I might change my bed and maybe do some laundry. I’m not leaving the house. Errands are for tomorrow.

When she was little, my youngest sister always had the grossest big toes. She stubbed them too many times to count. My mother would put on band-aids but they never lasted. Toes and band aids don’t seem to do well together. Sneakers would have solved the problem but she never wore them. I remember white strapped sandals with open toes, gross open toes.

My other sister broke her leg by getting it caught in the spokes of her tricycle which went down the hill leg and all. She also almost lost her finger when one of those fold-up stools folded on her hand.

Given their childhood injuries, you’d think their adulthoods would be rife with broken bones, but nope, I’m the one who falls, who breaks a few bones or scrapes protruding parts of my body. I guess I should have been more prone to injury as a kid so I could have skipped it as an adult. Falling is now run of the mill for me.

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“In the morning I woke like a sloth in the fog.”

December 9, 2013

I am going back to bed for a bit hoping to shake this malaise. My heat is cranking, but I am still cold, never a good sign. We went out for breakfast today, but we should have stayed home in bed warm and cozy under the comforter. It is raining: a cold, heavy rain. This morning the ground had an inch or two of slush. I didn’t leave footprints on the lawn when I got the papers but I left a trail which filled with water as soon as I took another step. The day has little to commend it. The best I can say is it isn’t snow. 

On my way to breakfast I noticed cars on the side streets still running and filled with parents and kids. They were waiting for the school bus. Not a single little kid waited in the rain. I would have had no choice but to walk to school. Most of us always did. On days like today we’d hurry to school not drawn by the idea of learning but by the warmth of the schoolroom and the hopes of getting dry. We’d hang up our coats then walk into class with red cheeks and runny noses from the cold. I don’t remember math or any other subjects on those sorts of days. I just remember the lights being on and the rain hitting the windows. 

My house is dark except for the laptop’s monitor. I can hear the rain. It is heavier than it has been all morning. The temperature is too warm for snow so it will stay rainy all day into tomorrow. I’m content to be inside. I have cards to write, laundry to do and books to read.

I am tending toward a sloth day being, as I am, out of sorts so I’m going to finish now so I can change into my cozy flannels, my slippers and my sweatshirt, the accepted uniform for a winter sloth. 

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