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Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

April 28, 2019

Today is sunny and beautiful. It is only 50˚ but having sun makes me a bit forgiving. Rain is predicted for later. I have trouble believing that. The sun is just too pretty, and there are only wispy, white clouds.

I don’t know why I expect really warm days as Cape Cod is seldom warm in the spring. Actually, calling this time of year spring is misleading. When north of us is 60˚, we are in mid 50’s. Some time in May it will start to get warm. In mid June we’ll jump to summer.

I shared a banana with Henry this morning. He likes fruit. So far he has eaten banana, first time today, apples, oranges, watermelon, blueberries, pineapple and mango. I don’t know if he has a favorite. I’m partial to oranges, pineapples and bananas.

Having a banana this morning reminded me of Ghana. Every day I had fruit for lunch, a fruit bowl of oranges, pineapple, mangoes, pawpaw and bananas. When I traveled, I always bought oranges or bananas because of their peel. They didn’t need to be washed. Mangoes were messy, juice down my arm messy. Pawpaws were big.

When I was a kid, we had grapes, oranges, apples and watermelon around all summer. We also had Bing cherries. I love spitting their pits. We had contests to see who could spit the pits the furthest. I never won.

Okay, the sun is gone and the sky is cloudy. I think I saw a few drops of rain on the deck. Sadly, the weatherman is correct.

Today is dump day, and tonight is game night. I’m in charge of tonight’s appetizers. I’ll go to the market and hope to find ready to eat or easy to make appetizers. In case I don’t, I have a couple in mind and a list of the ingredients I’ll need, but I am not really up for cooking. I did plenty on Friday.

Time to finish up and load the car with trash bags. Please, rain, hold off until I’m done.

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“Each day has a color, a smell.”

June 10, 2018

The clouds are back, but the rain won’t be. This will stay a dry weekend. My deck is just about ready for summer. A couple of pots still need flowers, the spawn of Satan ate the lights on the deck rails so I need a new set, and I have arranged for the deck and wooden furniture to be power washed. I have already chosen the first movie for the opening of this summer’s deck movie night. Get ready to roll out the red carpet!

I stood on the deck for a while last night. Henry was roaming the yard. I could hear him walking on the bed of dead leaves. The air smelled sweet. It was flowers and fresh mown grass. The night was warm. I could hear bird songs. I saw one firefly.

When I was a kid, the field below our house was filled with brown grasshoppers during the day. During the night, it glowed with hundreds of fireflies, maybe even thousands. That’s what it looked like to me.

When I landed in Marrakech, the air smelled of spices. I could see the orange-red wall around the city and some of its ornate gates. Horse drawn carriages, called calèches I found out later, were sharing the roads with cars. It was the most remarkable introduction to Morocco.

When I first stepped out of the plane in Ghana, I was hit with tremendous heat and such sunlight I had to squint. The air was thick with humidity. I could smell the greenery, the ferns, the high grasses and the trees. Now, so many years later, very time I go back, I can barely wait for that plane door to open so I can smell and feel Ghana again.

On some damp mornings, I can smell the ocean. It isn’t close, but the air carries that smell all the way to my house. I am always loathe to go inside. I want to stay until the ocean smell disappears.

I can smell the rain coming. I can feel the change in the air. I can smell those first drops hitting the ground. They smell of the dirt, an earthy smell.

Smell triggers memories more than any other sense. Turkeys cooking at Thanksgiving, the tree at Christmas and wood charcoal burning are reminders of family celebrations, places visited and a life so far filled with sights, sounds and, best of all, smells.

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“My idea of absolute happiness is to be in bed on a rainy day, with my blankie, my cat, and my dog.”

May 12, 2018

I’ve been lazy this morning. I didn’t get out of bed until 9:45. Henry finally drove me out  by jumping on and off the bed.

Henry never walks. He sounds like a herd of horses when he runs down the hall. Yesterday he seemed afraid to use the dog door, but today he went right outside. Last night he wouldn’t come near me. I dared to try to put his harness on him, notice I said tried. Today he hasn’t left my side except to eat and go into the yard. I am so very patient with my Henry changing from day to day.

Today is dark with clouds. It is supposed to rain later. I can feel the dampness in the air. Earlier, I could hear hammering but not now. It is quiet. The wind every now and then is blowing the top most branches.

When I was a kid, a Saturday like today was a disappointment. The impending rain meant staying close to home. The house felt crowded with all of us in it. The TV was blaring. My brother watched from the couch. My sisters played dolls on the rug in the living room. My mother was usually in the kitchen, hiding from the noise and us. My dad watched TV when he came home from his Saturday uptown errands. My refuge was my bedroom. I’d get lost in a book and everything else would fall away.

I’m putting my laundry on my to-do list but in italics. I really don’t feel industrious enough to do anything let alone laundry and all it ensues, but I don’t like seeing the filled laundry bag in the hall. My solution is to throw it down the cellar stairs.

Yesterday I swiffered the downstairs. I don’t know why Henry isn’t bald. The Swiffer pad was covered in fur. I even had to change it. Today I picked up a few new clumps. Sisyphus had his rock. I have my dog fur.

I need more bird seed and I need bread. I’m thinking of going to Cape Abilities Farm which teaches skills to adults with disabilities. It will have all I need and far more.  I usually end up with a carriage full of fruits and vegetables, cheese, frozen chicken pie, fresh bread, and cookies. I also need a plant for my front steps and a hanging one for the deck. I do love shopping there.

My house is cold. I’m thinking a hot cup of coffee is a perfect remedy.

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“There’s nothing as cozy as a piece of candy and a book.”

May 4, 2018

Sometime during the night it rained. I woke up to clouds but now the sun is breaking through. The windows are still open. The morning is quiet except for the birds. After today it will get chilly again, back to the 50’s. Summer had a short run.

Yesterday was a quiet day for me. I didn’t even get dressed. My cleaning couple came. They greeted Henry first and and tried to get him to feel more comfortable with them by plying him with treats. He ate the treats but didn’t love being patted. Henry is becoming a guard dog but only when someone knocks or rings the bell. His growl is deep. I’d stay away.

Today I go to the dentist for my six month cleaning. I have never liked going to the dentist even for something as benign as having my teeth cleaned. This is because of the dentist I saw when I was in the seventh grade. He was old. His equipment was old. He didn’t use novocaine. My fingertips left imprints on arms of the chair. He had been my father’s dentist. We went to him because he was cheap. After that I was willing to let my teeth fall out rather than go to a dentist; however, before I left for Ghana, I had to have my teeth perfect: no problems, no teeth needing fillings or yanking so I bit the bullet and went. Since then I have faithfully gone to the dentist twice a year, reluctantly gone to the dentist twice a year.

I went through the movies I’ve bought for this summer’s movie nights. The Beast of Yucca Flats is one of them. It is so awful it is fun. Some critics content it is worst than Plan 9 from Outer Space. It has no soundtrack. You never see the characters talk. They turn their faces. There are only voice-overs and narratives. I think the reason might be that the film’s total budget was estimated at $34,000. The Four Feathers, from 1939, is another. It is an excellent film. I’ve seen it a couple of times and am happy to see it again. One of my favorites is Dick, the story of Watergate and the fall of a president as told by two teenage girls. It is a parody filled with happenstance. It’s funny. I also have To Kill a Mockingbird but I’m not so sure how that’ll go over. The film is superb but maybe not for a Saturday on the deck. 

Necco may close. It is scheduled for a bankruptcy auction on May 23. People are stockpiling Necco Wafers. I can’t imagine Valentine’s Day without Necco Sweethearts. Sky Bars have always been a favorite of mine. I just bought a whole box of twenty-four, sort of a mini-hoarding. I’m saving them for movie nights. I just discovered Tropical Necco Wafers so I’ll hunt down a box of those. I remember the great toilet paper scare when people were depleting grocery shelves thinking they’d be a shortage. This is worse. I could find substitutes for toilet paper but not for Necco Wafers.

Categories: Musings
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“Daffodils are yellow trumpets of spring”

March 9, 2018

If this is a test of my sanity, I am on shaky ground. In Ghana there was a rainy season and a dry season. I knew what to expect and around when to expect it. My friends and I, during the dry season, would look at the sky and wonder if it was going to rain. That was a joke of sorts. We knew the rain wouldn’t come until April. The sun would beat down and dry everything until then. The ground became dust, blown and whirled by the winds from the desert, the harmattan winds. Our lips cracked from the dryness, but it wasn’t unexpected. We were ready for all that heat and no rain.

I haven’t seen the sun in days. The clouds are darker now, a bit more menacing. I need the sun. I want it to be so bright outside I have to squint my eyes. I want to stand on the deck and be warm. My patience is almost gone. I want to scream, “No more! No More!”

Today I have to go to the dump. Gracie would have loved the trip.

My laundry is back to its usual spot, leaning against the cellar door. My plan is to do it today before it grows and takes on a life of its own. That’s what happened the last time. Had I been a character in a Disney movie, my laundry would have been singing and dancing. I’m picturing a conga line of shirts followed by a line of pants doing the can can and singing a catchy tune as they make their way to the washing machine.

My house is nice and clean. Roseana and Lee came yesterday. My contribution was lifting my legs so Lee could vacuum under them. He even put all the trash and recycling bags into the trunk for today’s dump run. I also have a couple of other stops. I have streamlined my to do’s so I waste only a single day.

My garden doesn’t mind the gray days. It still grows. I check it every morning and every morning I notice more and more green shoots have been appearing in my front garden. I see daffodils joining the already blooming crocus or croci if we use Latin’s second declension masculine plural for words ending in us. I had four years of Latin in high school, a feat of no small dimension.

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“It’s not always easy to distinguish between existentialism and a bad mood.”

March 8, 2018

The rain came yesterday in the mid-afternoon and stayed all night. It was sometimes so heavy it pelted the roof loudly enough to drown out the TV. Boston and further north had snow, a wet, heavy snow, the sort which looks beautiful for a minute then you notice how laden down the trees and branches are, and you hope they survive. Some wires fell from the weight of the snow and even blocked major roads. Here the sun has been trying to come out of the clouds. Twice now the sky has brightened. I get hopeful. I need sun to dispel my dark mood, a mirror of the rain and the clouds.

My Travelocity gnome and my pink, plastic flamingo are in the den. They winter here. In the warm months they live on my deck. It is a special occasion when they travel from winter to summer, from the den to the deck. I always think there should be a parade and music. They are announcing summer is finally here, a cause for celebration, for good food, and for warm days lolling on the deck. Right now, though, all of that seems a sweet memory.

From when I was kid, I remember winter most of all. My school was an old one with high windows and drafts of cold air so for most of the winter we all wore sweaters. I remember walking across the field below my street, a sort of shortcut home, and having to walk backwards because of the wind. My cheeks turned red and numb. The wind blew up the sleeves of my coat. My ears always hurt even when I was wearing a hat as it mostly just covered my head so I’d put my mittened hands over my ears trying to warm them just a bit. Mostly I failed. By the time I’d get home, I was freezing. Right away I’d take off my school clothes and get into my pajamas and slippers. I’d wrap myself in my blanket. In a short while, I was warm and all the parts of my body had come back to life.

I have no energy today, and I don’t care. It is the weather which is causing this foul mood.   A bit of sun is all I need.

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How much of this day have you already forgotten?”

February 23, 2018

Earlier this morning the sun was bright and was set in a blue, cloudless sky. Since then the clouds have taken over and hidden the sun. I’m beginning to think Mother Nature is really upset with us and is being vindictive, but I don’t know why. All I can hope is the sun fights through those clouds.

Last night we must have had a few flurries as the deck chair cover still had a bit of white on top this morning. It may rain tonight or the flurries might return.

I have a doctor’s appointment today which will get me out of the house again. I’m thinking afterwards I’ll go the long way home and go down Route 28. Maybe an open store will catch my eye, and I’ll stop.

I get bored with winter around this time every year. I’m tired of hibernating. I sit around most days in my comfy winter lay around the house outfit and read, go through cook books, randomly dust or polish and sometimes nap. All my laundry is even clean, all three bags. I also look through catalogs and check out the winter sale items. I bought a flannel shirt for myself yesterday and a Christmas present for a friend.

A favorite fish restaurant is now open for the season. I’m salivating at the thought of fried clams and onion rings. I’m thinking that my Route 28 excursion could very well end at that restaurant.

I’m watching a really bad Japanese movie  from 1965 called Invasion of Astro-Monster. The only non-Japanese cast member is Nick Adams. He speaks English while all the others speak Japanese. The movie is dubbed. I think by watching this I have sunk to a new level of bad movies.

Two things are missing. One is the cat’s ceramic dish. I put it away somewhere and can’t find it. I looked in all my usual places and a few crazy ones like the oven and the napkin drawer. I was actually glad the dish wasn’t in either spot. The other missing item is a decorative tin which was once filled at Christmas with peanut butter balls. It was on the top of a cabinet for weeks then I moved it. I have no idea where it is, probably with the dish.

Broken bones and memory lapses!!! I’d better print my name and address on the tags in all my shirts.

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“You can’t teach people to be lazy – either they have it, or they don’t.”

February 6, 2018

We’re back to clouds. Everything out my window looks grey, particularly the pine branches and the sky. Today has no wind. Every branch, even the smallest, is still. The air feels damp even though rain is not in the forecast. I have to do a couple of errands. Getting cat food is at the top of my list.

Lately I just haven’t wanted to do anything. I’m calling it my winter doldrums. Up until early January was almost a frenzy with Christmas shopping, wrapping, decorating, baking and entertaining. My house is dusty. My laundry is unwashed. Recycled newspapers, cardboard boxes and a trash bag sit by the front door. I think they’re growing roots. I wake up every day resolved to get stuff done, but I go to bed without having done much of anything. I’m glad Maddie needs food so I’ll definitely have to go out, and I’ll take all the trash and stuff to the car when I go. The dump isn’t open until Thursday.

Maddie is still driving me crazy. She meows at me all the time. She sounds insistent and a bit angry. I change the water, give her a little roast beef, fill her dish and pat her almost endlessly but she still meows. I think she misses Gracie. This is the first time in her 18 1/2 years she has been the only pet. Right now she is sitting beside me on the couch while I pat her and scratch her ears. She’s purring.

I woke up at 6 this morning, looked out the window and saw how dark it was so I turned over and went back to sleep. I woke up at ten.

The TV news was interesting today. A woman found a lizard in her salad mix from the grocery store. She poked her fork into an avocado or what she thought was an avocado and out came a lizard, a lizard from California. It seems the controversy about Doritos being un- friendly to ladies continues. Women it seems don’t like to crunch too loudly in public so Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo, said the company is preparing to launch chips for women that will be “low-crunch” with a “full taste profile” that will “not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers” and can fit in a handbag because “women love to carry a snack.” Doiritos responded, “We already have Doritos for women – they’re called Doritos, and they’re enjoyed by millions of people every day.” Snow is coming but the Cape will have the least amount, 0-2 inches.

Well, I need to finish here. Maddie is stirring. I know she wants something. She just howled at me.

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“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

January 22, 2018

When I woke up, I could hear the drops of rain. Still lying in bed, I looked out my window and saw a dark morning with a cloud covered sky. I looked at my clock. It was 10:55. I had gone to bed early for me but couldn’t get to sleep. I read a while until my hand was cold then snuggled under the blankets. I fell asleep but woke up a few times.  When I finally got up to face the day, I noticed my covers were askew and half the comforter was on the floor, evidence of my restlessness.

Maddie was strange yesterday, and it scared me. Her dish was filled as she hadn’t eaten the night before. She didn’t use the puppy pads but did use the floor in a variety of spots, totally not a Maddie move. She wasn’t having her usual morning nap but was following me. She didn’t eat her treats. In the kitchen, she started to squat on the floor. I stopped her. She then dragged her butt across the floor. I grabbed her and checked. Yup, she needed a little help in getting clean. I was thrilled which sounds like a strange reaction to having to clean a cat’s butt, but I was relieved she wasn’t sick. I couldn’t have dealt with that right now. She is my one and only. Maddie was fine this morning. Her food dish was clean, she’d eaten all the treats and used the puppy pads. She’s now asleep on the couch. All is well with my world.

The Patriots did it again. They were behind 20-10 at the half, but we weren’t worried.  Okay, maybe we were a little worried, but they are the Patriots, and we held on to that. They scored two touchdowns in the 4th quarter while the Jaguars scored only two field goals in all of the second half. The Pats won a trip to the Super Bowl with a score of 24 to  20.

I have nothing needing doing today. I have some stuff I could do but don’t have to do. I know that sounds a bit convoluted, but it just means I’m choosing to be lazy, a less than noble choice I know but one I love and continue to espouse.

When I was a kid, I was a busy kid. After school I played outside, and on Saturdays I roamed the town. I rode my bike all year including snowless days in winter. I never  tried to be busy. I just was. The only exception was when I had a good book or even two good books. I’d read all day long. Time passed, and I was unaware. I remember looking out the window once and being surprised it was dark. I still do that with books. I read all day and often into the night. It is never time wasted but rather time to be savored.

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“Sometimes it’s the same moments that take your breath away that breathe purpose and love back into your life.”

January 21, 2018

This is not one of my better mornings. My grumpiness is wasted as I’m here by myself. I’m also tired as I was restless all night and didn’t sleep well. I’m coughing though I don’t think I have a cold, but just in case I’ve decided to stay home to watch the Pats instead of watching with friends. No Typhoid Mary here.

Today is relatively warm. The sun is shining but from behind clouds. Nothing is stirring. It’s a quiet day.

The laundry is upstairs and put away, but I have two more bags of laundry waiting to be washed. They’ll wait a while. I have plenty of underwear.

Getting older sometimes means getting a bit jaded. I think that would be the worst, to see the world as only dulled or tired. I look for the adventure in each day, for something new or something changed. When I get the mail, I stop at my car, rest my back and watch the world for a few minutes. I see the beauty. I realize how lucky I am.

When I was little, I made memories. The school corridor, wider than a river, went on for miles. Nuns were all six foot and muscular, even the old ones. The Five and Ten was magical. Everything you wanted or needed was on one of its shelves. The railroad tracks just kept going and going as far as any of us could imagine, even to China. The woods were filled with adventures. Blueberries grew everywhere. The turkey needed two people to lift it out of the oven. The Christmas tree touched the ceiling and filled the living room.

Life is gigantic when you’re little. It’s a surprise wrapped in paper and lots of ribbon. The sun is brighter, the snow deeper and the rain heavier. New still happens. Believing is easy. Santa is real and so are the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. I know the memories I share with you every day may have been tempered by time, but I swear most of them are true, except maybe the one about the nuns. A couple of them might have been five ten.

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