Posted tagged ‘Clouds’

“Daffodils are yellow trumpets of spring”

March 9, 2018

If this is a test of my sanity, I am on shaky ground. In Ghana there was a rainy season and a dry season. I knew what to expect and around when to expect it. My friends and I, during the dry season, would look at the sky and wonder if it was going to rain. That was a joke of sorts. We knew the rain wouldn’t come until April. The sun would beat down and dry everything until then. The ground became dust, blown and whirled by the winds from the desert, the harmattan winds. Our lips cracked from the dryness, but it wasn’t unexpected. We were ready for all that heat and no rain.

I haven’t seen the sun in days. The clouds are darker now, a bit more menacing. I need the sun. I want it to be so bright outside I have to squint my eyes. I want to stand on the deck and be warm. My patience is almost gone. I want to scream, “No more! No More!”

Today I have to go to the dump. Gracie would have loved the trip.

My laundry is back to its usual spot, leaning against the cellar door. My plan is to do it today before it grows and takes on a life of its own. That’s what happened the last time. Had I been a character in a Disney movie, my laundry would have been singing and dancing. I’m picturing a conga line of shirts followed by a line of pants doing the can can and singing a catchy tune as they make their way to the washing machine.

My house is nice and clean. Roseana and Lee came yesterday. My contribution was lifting my legs so Lee could vacuum under them. He even put all the trash and recycling bags into the trunk for today’s dump run. I also have a couple of other stops. I have streamlined my to do’s so I waste only a single day.

My garden doesn’t mind the gray days. It still grows. I check it every morning and every morning I notice more and more green shoots have been appearing in my front garden. I see daffodils joining the already blooming crocus or croci if we use Latin’s second declension masculine plural for words ending in us. I had four years of Latin in high school, a feat of no small dimension.

“It’s not always easy to distinguish between existentialism and a bad mood.”

March 8, 2018

The rain came yesterday in the mid-afternoon and stayed all night. It was sometimes so heavy it pelted the roof loudly enough to drown out the TV. Boston and further north had snow, a wet, heavy snow, the sort which looks beautiful for a minute then you notice how laden down the trees and branches are, and you hope they survive. Some wires fell from the weight of the snow and even blocked major roads. Here the sun has been trying to come out of the clouds. Twice now the sky has brightened. I get hopeful. I need sun to dispel my dark mood, a mirror of the rain and the clouds.

My Travelocity gnome and my pink, plastic flamingo are in the den. They winter here. In the warm months they live on my deck. It is a special occasion when they travel from winter to summer, from the den to the deck. I always think there should be a parade and music. They are announcing summer is finally here, a cause for celebration, for good food, and for warm days lolling on the deck. Right now, though, all of that seems a sweet memory.

From when I was kid, I remember winter most of all. My school was an old one with high windows and drafts of cold air so for most of the winter we all wore sweaters. I remember walking across the field below my street, a sort of shortcut home, and having to walk backwards because of the wind. My cheeks turned red and numb. The wind blew up the sleeves of my coat. My ears always hurt even when I was wearing a hat as it mostly just covered my head so I’d put my mittened hands over my ears trying to warm them just a bit. Mostly I failed. By the time I’d get home, I was freezing. Right away I’d take off my school clothes and get into my pajamas and slippers. I’d wrap myself in my blanket. In a short while, I was warm and all the parts of my body had come back to life.

I have no energy today, and I don’t care. It is the weather which is causing this foul mood.   A bit of sun is all I need.

How much of this day have you already forgotten?”

February 23, 2018

Earlier this morning the sun was bright and was set in a blue, cloudless sky. Since then the clouds have taken over and hidden the sun. I’m beginning to think Mother Nature is really upset with us and is being vindictive, but I don’t know why. All I can hope is the sun fights through those clouds.

Last night we must have had a few flurries as the deck chair cover still had a bit of white on top this morning. It may rain tonight or the flurries might return.

I have a doctor’s appointment today which will get me out of the house again. I’m thinking afterwards I’ll go the long way home and go down Route 28. Maybe an open store will catch my eye, and I’ll stop.

I get bored with winter around this time every year. I’m tired of hibernating. I sit around most days in my comfy winter lay around the house outfit and read, go through cook books, randomly dust or polish and sometimes nap. All my laundry is even clean, all three bags. I also look through catalogs and check out the winter sale items. I bought a flannel shirt for myself yesterday and a Christmas present for a friend.

A favorite fish restaurant is now open for the season. I’m salivating at the thought of fried clams and onion rings. I’m thinking that my Route 28 excursion could very well end at that restaurant.

I’m watching a really bad Japanese movie  from 1965 called Invasion of Astro-Monster. The only non-Japanese cast member is Nick Adams. He speaks English while all the others speak Japanese. The movie is dubbed. I think by watching this I have sunk to a new level of bad movies.

Two things are missing. One is the cat’s ceramic dish. I put it away somewhere and can’t find it. I looked in all my usual places and a few crazy ones like the oven and the napkin drawer. I was actually glad the dish wasn’t in either spot. The other missing item is a decorative tin which was once filled at Christmas with peanut butter balls. It was on the top of a cabinet for weeks then I moved it. I have no idea where it is, probably with the dish.

Broken bones and memory lapses!!! I’d better print my name and address on the tags in all my shirts.

“You can’t teach people to be lazy – either they have it, or they don’t.”

February 6, 2018

We’re back to clouds. Everything out my window looks grey, particularly the pine branches and the sky. Today has no wind. Every branch, even the smallest, is still. The air feels damp even though rain is not in the forecast. I have to do a couple of errands. Getting cat food is at the top of my list.

Lately I just haven’t wanted to do anything. I’m calling it my winter doldrums. Up until early January was almost a frenzy with Christmas shopping, wrapping, decorating, baking and entertaining. My house is dusty. My laundry is unwashed. Recycled newspapers, cardboard boxes and a trash bag sit by the front door. I think they’re growing roots. I wake up every day resolved to get stuff done, but I go to bed without having done much of anything. I’m glad Maddie needs food so I’ll definitely have to go out, and I’ll take all the trash and stuff to the car when I go. The dump isn’t open until Thursday.

Maddie is still driving me crazy. She meows at me all the time. She sounds insistent and a bit angry. I change the water, give her a little roast beef, fill her dish and pat her almost endlessly but she still meows. I think she misses Gracie. This is the first time in her 18 1/2 years she has been the only pet. Right now she is sitting beside me on the couch while I pat her and scratch her ears. She’s purring.

I woke up at 6 this morning, looked out the window and saw how dark it was so I turned over and went back to sleep. I woke up at ten.

The TV news was interesting today. A woman found a lizard in her salad mix from the grocery store. She poked her fork into an avocado or what she thought was an avocado and out came a lizard, a lizard from California. It seems the controversy about Doritos being un- friendly to ladies continues. Women it seems don’t like to crunch too loudly in public so Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo, said the company is preparing to launch chips for women that will be “low-crunch” with a “full taste profile” that will “not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers” and can fit in a handbag because “women love to carry a snack.” Doiritos responded, “We already have Doritos for women – they’re called Doritos, and they’re enjoyed by millions of people every day.” Snow is coming but the Cape will have the least amount, 0-2 inches.

Well, I need to finish here. Maddie is stirring. I know she wants something. She just howled at me.

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

January 22, 2018

When I woke up, I could hear the drops of rain. Still lying in bed, I looked out my window and saw a dark morning with a cloud covered sky. I looked at my clock. It was 10:55. I had gone to bed early for me but couldn’t get to sleep. I read a while until my hand was cold then snuggled under the blankets. I fell asleep but woke up a few times.  When I finally got up to face the day, I noticed my covers were askew and half the comforter was on the floor, evidence of my restlessness.

Maddie was strange yesterday, and it scared me. Her dish was filled as she hadn’t eaten the night before. She didn’t use the puppy pads but did use the floor in a variety of spots, totally not a Maddie move. She wasn’t having her usual morning nap but was following me. She didn’t eat her treats. In the kitchen, she started to squat on the floor. I stopped her. She then dragged her butt across the floor. I grabbed her and checked. Yup, she needed a little help in getting clean. I was thrilled which sounds like a strange reaction to having to clean a cat’s butt, but I was relieved she wasn’t sick. I couldn’t have dealt with that right now. She is my one and only. Maddie was fine this morning. Her food dish was clean, she’d eaten all the treats and used the puppy pads. She’s now asleep on the couch. All is well with my world.

The Patriots did it again. They were behind 20-10 at the half, but we weren’t worried.  Okay, maybe we were a little worried, but they are the Patriots, and we held on to that. They scored two touchdowns in the 4th quarter while the Jaguars scored only two field goals in all of the second half. The Pats won a trip to the Super Bowl with a score of 24 to  20.

I have nothing needing doing today. I have some stuff I could do but don’t have to do. I know that sounds a bit convoluted, but it just means I’m choosing to be lazy, a less than noble choice I know but one I love and continue to espouse.

When I was a kid, I was a busy kid. After school I played outside, and on Saturdays I roamed the town. I rode my bike all year including snowless days in winter. I never  tried to be busy. I just was. The only exception was when I had a good book or even two good books. I’d read all day long. Time passed, and I was unaware. I remember looking out the window once and being surprised it was dark. I still do that with books. I read all day and often into the night. It is never time wasted but rather time to be savored.

“Sometimes it’s the same moments that take your breath away that breathe purpose and love back into your life.”

January 21, 2018

This is not one of my better mornings. My grumpiness is wasted as I’m here by myself. I’m also tired as I was restless all night and didn’t sleep well. I’m coughing though I don’t think I have a cold, but just in case I’ve decided to stay home to watch the Pats instead of watching with friends. No Typhoid Mary here.

Today is relatively warm. The sun is shining but from behind clouds. Nothing is stirring. It’s a quiet day.

The laundry is upstairs and put away, but I have two more bags of laundry waiting to be washed. They’ll wait a while. I have plenty of underwear.

Getting older sometimes means getting a bit jaded. I think that would be the worst, to see the world as only dulled or tired. I look for the adventure in each day, for something new or something changed. When I get the mail, I stop at my car, rest my back and watch the world for a few minutes. I see the beauty. I realize how lucky I am.

When I was little, I made memories. The school corridor, wider than a river, went on for miles. Nuns were all six foot and muscular, even the old ones. The Five and Ten was magical. Everything you wanted or needed was on one of its shelves. The railroad tracks just kept going and going as far as any of us could imagine, even to China. The woods were filled with adventures. Blueberries grew everywhere. The turkey needed two people to lift it out of the oven. The Christmas tree touched the ceiling and filled the living room.

Life is gigantic when you’re little. It’s a surprise wrapped in paper and lots of ribbon. The sun is brighter, the snow deeper and the rain heavier. New still happens. Believing is easy. Santa is real and so are the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. I know the memories I share with you every day may have been tempered by time, but I swear most of them are true, except maybe the one about the nuns. A couple of them might have been five ten.

“He yawned like a black bear coming out of hibernation.”

November 18, 2017

The sun has disappeared. Nothing is moving. The day is warm and quiet. Gracie and I went out first thing. She went into the backyard and I got the papers in the front. When we came back inside, Maddie gave me her demanding meow, loud and annoying, so I fed her first. Gracie was next, and I, as usual, was last. It’s two cups of coffee and two pieces of toast later, one with grape jelly my friend made.

I’m not sure why, maybe it’s the return of the gray day, but I have very little energy today. I even sat a while between cups of coffee, most unusual for me. Luckily, I have no plans for the day, no errands and no chores. I do have book two in the series by Elly Griffiths so perhaps the couch will be my spot for the day and turning pages my only activity.

I send cards for every holiday. That started when I was in college. My grandparents were around then, and one of my grandmothers was thrilled to get them. She was the one who wanted to be teacher so she loved that I was. I enjoy choosing the cards and lament my Hallmark store having closed. The closest one is in Orleans which always feels far but is only 12 or so miles away. When I was in Ghana, I made cards for every holiday except Christmas as I could find those. I used to go through magazines and cut out words and letters to make my cards, They looked more like ransom demands than cards. The Christmas cards I sent were wonderful. Some were hand-painted but even the ones commercially made were different. They had African nativity scenes, drummers, palm trees and even a camel or two. Each time I went back to Ghana, I was excited to find cards for Christmas. They went to family and special friends. I always send Edward Gorey cards to every one else for Christmas. I love his whimsey. The Edward Gorey house is in Yarmouth, and I go there to buy my cards. I remember last year I was afraid I had already sent all the available scenes but was glad to find one more. I’m hoping for the same this year.

I’ve started yawning which gives you a sense of today and the weather and today and me.