Archive for the ‘Musings’ category
January 11, 2018
My Gracie couldn’t get up this morning. She has had issues with her back legs, but we managed, she and I, until today when her front legs couldn’t hold her either. I called my friend Claire who came over and we both went to the vets. I had called them so they were expecting us. Two techs came to the car and brought Gracie inside to one of the exam rooms. I knew. Nobody had to tell me. I knew as soon as she couldn’t walk.
I held Gracie and said goodbye. I thanked her. She has been the best dog, the funniest, the most recalcitrant and the most loving. My house is empty without her.
I will not be posting today or tomorrow.
Categories: Musings
Comments: 38 Comments
January 9, 2018
That sun is back in favor with me. It is here again, and it brought along the blue sky. Outside is warm at 41˚. Very little snow is left, only piles along the sides of the road from the plowing. Those piles are ugly, pockmarked and dirty. Snow has a short shelf life once the sun appears.
When I began to think of snow as a nuisance, I was caught in a dichotomy. I still loved to watch the flakes fall and would turn on the outside lights so I could see the snow, but I didn’t want the flakes to touch the ground; I didn’t like shoveling, and I didn’t like cleaning off the car. There I was caught in the middle where I still stay sit.
I watch TV, not as much as Chance the Gardener, but I watch. I also bitch and moan. Even with a zillion stations, I sometimes find nothing to watch. HGTV is one of my stations of last resort. I’ve watched so much I can now throw around phrases like curb appeal, focal point and window treatment. I know to look for hardwood floors, a master suite, a farmer’s sink, stainless steel, tile and granite or its ilk. Mirrors will make the room look bigger. Neutral colors are best.
I am getting forgetful; it’s a matter of aging. My word retrieval skills are blunted. I get distracted and forget what I wanted in the first place. Mnemonics have become my best friends, and I use my mother’s trick of going through the alphabet. Most times that works. My spelling skills often take a vacation. I wonder about the spelling of a word, and the longer I look, the stranger the word looks. I could use spell check but that only makes it worse. I figure given the way I’m going my lists will soon be scrolls furled because of their lengths.
It always amazes me that I am the age I am. I don’t feel old. I don’t think old. At least as far as I can remember.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 41˚, blue sky, falling snow, flakes, snow piles, sun
Comments: 8 Comments
January 8, 2018
The day was sunny when I first woke up. It’s cloudy now, but it’s warm so I’m fine with the clouds. The temperature is above freezing. I can hear the drips of the melting snow from the roof. They sound like rain.
This is the week of the January thaw, earlier than usual. Each new day will get progressively warmer and by Friday it will be 50˚. My mind can’t fathom 50˚ after this last week which forever changed my definition of cold. I got to the point where 8˚ felt warm.
Today is tackle the tree day. It is still lit and decorated and is the last remnant of Christmas. The living room is drab and dark without it. Winter, with its early nights and late dawnings, is back, but there is some consolation. The cold air gives the night clarity. The light of the moon shines on the snow, and stars blanket the sky. Everything is perfectly still. Lights from windows arc across the snow. Smoke curls from chimneys, and sometimes I can smell wood burning. I stand outside and brave the cold just to take in the night.
My street has no streetlights. Sometimes it can be so dark the house across the street disappears. I keep lit candles in my front windows all the time. They are but a small break in the darkness.
When I was a kid, I always greeted the first star, “Star light, star bright, The first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight.” Even now that wish just jumps into my head. I’d hate to outgrow believing in things I can’t see.
I haven’t been out in a while to go anywhere. The cold has kept me inside the house. I’ve read, watched TV, napped and saved recipes I’ll never make from magazines.
After days when we were stuck inside because of the weather, my mother would demand we go out and get fresh air. I never thought to question the importance of getting fresh air. I just bundled up and went out. I was much older before I realized my mother’s fresh air fetish was really a bid by her to stay sane. She had four kids who whined constantly about being bored after only two days stuck inside the house. She needed relief and it came under the guise of fresh air. I can still hear her. It was never go out and get some air. It was always go out and get fresh air. I don’t know why, but I love this memory.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 50˚, above freezing, bitter cold, cloudy, cold nights, dripping snow, January thaw, starlight, sunny, tackle the tree day, warm, winter
Comments: 8 Comments
January 7, 2018
This morning felt almost balmy at 7˚. The wind was gone, and the sun was breaking through the clouds and bringing blue sky with it. Gracie took her time, another weather indicator, and I didn’t mind. The long term weather says a heat wave is coming starting tomorrow when it will be 39˚. By Friday, it will be 50˚. It will also be rainy but I don’t care. 50˚ trumps rain.
This is a morning of black and white science fiction. I first watched The Behemoth from 1959. The special effects gave me a chuckle especially when the Behemoth upended the ferry. Toy cars fell into the Thames. Once the Behemoth was on land, the fun began. The same car got flattened twice. In the crowd scenes, I kept an eye on an old lady wearing a white hat. I saw the same scene twice with the old lady front and center, and she appeared later in a couple of other scenes. That old lady could run. Screams took the place of action. You had to imagine what was happening. The ending was no ending. It was a radio report of thousands of dead fish on the shore of some US state: I forget which. That meant another behemoth.
Them is on now. It is one of my favorites. “No place for you or any other woman,” was an acceptable comment in 1954. It was said to the woman scientist who insisted on going into the giant ant hole as she had the necessary knowledge to identify the ants. She also has a wardrobe of several hats, necessities in 1954. The film has some great scenes of real ants. What I love in these movies are the street scenes, the cars and the women’s clothes. Leonard Nimoy has a bit part with a couple of lines. Fess Parker also has a small part but with far more lines. I know what’s going to happen, but I’m glad to watch anyway.
Sunday mornings have always been my favorites ever since I was young. I wasn’t big on going to church, but some Sundays I didn’t mind so much as I’d go with my dad, the usher. I had to wear a dress or a skirt because that’s what girls and women wore in the 50’s to church. My father wore a suit with a white shirt and and a tie knotted in a full Windsor. In the winter he added an overcoat and a fedora. He wore tie shoes which he polished every Saturday night. It was one of his rituals to pull out the can of polish, the rag and the brush. I remember he always spit into the can. It never seemed disgusting to me. The bristles of the old wooden brush were black from all the polish. My father always brushed the tips of his shoes first.
It’s funny what memories stick with us. I can see that shoe brush and the can of polish. I remember my father holding a shoe with one hand inside it while he held the brush with his other hand. The brush went back and forth and back and forth vigorously. My father would stop, check the shine then shift the shoe and start to shine another part, back and forth again. When I visited, he always asked me if my shoes needed to be polished. They always did. I made sure of it. It was a connection to my father I still hold dear.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 1954, 50˚, 7˚, balmy, blue sky, giant ants, sun, The Behemoth, THEM!
Comments: 8 Comments
January 6, 2018
The sun is shining and the sky is blue. Both are tempting me to get out of the house, but I’m not going to take the bait. It is freezing and no sun or blue sky will help. I did go out with Gracie as she is quite unsteady. When she was done, we both hurried inside to the warmth. I gave Gracie and Maddie chicken this morning as Gracie didn’t eat her dog food yesterday and only had a little the day before. I got worried that she isn’t eating, but she did manage to eat all the chicken, a Christmas snowman biscuit and a beef treat. She is fine, just picky.
I gave in and did two loads of laundry yesterday and brought up a load which has been sitting in the dryer since Christmas. I didn’t bring up either of the new loads, but I did take them out of the dryer and fold them. I also put away more Christmas. The snowmen and the tree remain, and there are boxes in the kitchen which need to go down stairs but not yet. The ornament box has to be at the bottom of the pile.
Tonight will be an actual 0˚. I don’t know how much cold the wind chill will add. Winter is having its way.
For some reason, I have been a night owl of late. I don’t really mind as I can sleep in or I can set Alexa for an alarm if I have to be somewhere. Most nights I keep busy by puttering around the house, playing on the computer, reading or watching TV. Last night it was mostly reading.
Winter seems the season for dreaming. We are stuck inside, victims of the weather, and our minds take us worlds away. I plan trips, even check out flights. That I haven’t the money never limits the planning. I read through recipes and choose menus for dinners I will probably never give. It’s the fun of the hunt which draws me. I make a list of summer party themes and think about the decorations. I read adventure novels, science fiction and mysteries. The other sorts I leave for summer when the world is bright.
I keep my travel documents and even my shots up to date. You never know if someone might knock on the door and tell me to grab my passport and let’s go. I’ve seen it in the movies, and I want to be ready.
Categories: Musings
Tags: blue sky, Chicken, decorations, dog treats, freezing, Laundry, stuff in the cellar, sun
Comments: 16 Comments
January 5, 2018
You’re probably wondering why I am up at the crack of dawn. Okay, that’s an exaggeration as it is 7:30, but I am so seldom up this early that it seems totally out of character for me, the winter sloth. Gracie had a vet appointment at 8 for acupuncture, but I have cancelled. My road is a sheet of ice, and my car’s tires are encased in the ice which probably wouldn’t matter that much in getting it out to the road, but I just don’t want to make the effort. I haven’t even gotten the newspapers.
Bitter cold is the only description for today’s temperature. I am living on the tundra in the dead of winter. It is 18˚, close to the forecast of a high of 19˚. The low will be 4˚. I can see sunshine breaking through the clouds and shining in the backyard against the pine trees, but I am not impressed. It is only a prop. It carries no heat. The blue sky is pushing away the clouds. I’m glad for the color.
I am not bored staying home. Last night I read until close to one. My tree is still up and decorated though I have removed Christmas from three other rooms. The laundry still sits in the hall. In the old days, I seldom had undone chores as I used to feel guilty. I had a schedule I religiously kept. The laundry never sat in the hall and the finished laundry went right upstairs and was put away. Now the clean, folded laundry sometimes sits for a while on a living room chair. I don’t really care, an attitude which took me a long while to foster, but I’ve done well in espousing the sloth effect.
My trunk has trash and recyclables. It is dump time, but I’m thinking, “Tomorrow Is Another Day!” the Scarlet way of looking at life.
I am so glad I have missed the return of high heels, some so high you could get a nose bleed. I watch and wonder at the women wearing them. Their feet and calves must really hurt after standing on those heels for a while, but I figure it comes down to fashion. No self-respecting maven would be caught in small heels. The binding of women’s feet in China was all the rage, especially among the upper class. Think on that for a bit.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 18˚, 4˚, 7:30, binding feel, bitter cold, blue sky, cold, high heels, ice, Laundry, nose bleeds, removing Christmas, sheet of ice, sloth, sunshine, tundra
Comments: 10 Comments
January 4, 2018
The rain pelting the roof and windows is heavy and loud, and the wind is a freight train blowing its whistle. Pine trees have notoriously shallow roots so they bend and sway in the wind. I watched one tall pine in my backyard bend so much it should have split and fallen. I thought I saw a bird furiously flapping its wings while trying to land on a branch. I couldn’t see the sort of bird so I put on my glasses. It wasn’t a bird. It was a brown leaf hanging from the end of a small branch being tossed and spun by the wind.
The snow will be here later, a wet, slushy sort of snow which will freeze overnight when the temperature drops from the 40˚ it is now to 12˚. The deep freeze will continue tomorrow with a high of 17˚ and a low of 1˚. It won’t get above freezing until Monday.
The only room left to de-Christmas is the living room where the tree still stands filled with lights and decorations. I need to haul from the cellar the plastic tubs which hold my decorations. Three smaller boxes are filled and waiting to go downstairs, but they will be last as they sit on the tops of the big bins. I also have a laundry leaning against the cellar door making me feel a bit guilty as it has been there a few days. I figure I’ll be spending the afternoon hauling up and bringing down bins and more bins.
I did a bit of shopping yesterday but not the usual pre-storm bread and milk. I bought shrimp cocktail and sauce at the fish market. Their sauce is tangy and delicious with lots of horseradish. I bought freshly made chicken noodle soup from Spinners, cinnamon rolls from the bakery and prepared pasta with sausages from Nada’s Noodles.
I’m watching Nancy Drew and The Hidden Staircase. It was the first Nancy Drew I ever read. The movie differs from the book in any ways. Characters have changed while others have disappeared. I like the book better.
I watched a bit of the news this morning. Thee newscasters were giving advice about how best to handle the storm. Drive slowly but stay home if you can. Uncover outside vents, and my personal favorite, don’t touch live wires.
The rain is slanting from the north. That alone is scary.
Categories: Musings
Tags: Laundry, pine trees, putting Christmas away, rain, wet snow, Wind
Comments: 14 Comments
January 2, 2018
This morning I redefined leisurely. Gracie and I went out around 9:30. She did her business while I got the papers and Saturday’s mail. Once inside, I got the coffee going, fed Gracie treats and Maddie her breakfast. It took two cups of coffee before I finished the Globe. Gracie and I shared a gingerbread biscotti with the second cup. The Cape Times was next. That was only a one cup read. I then sat and read my book for a bit, an Elly Griffiths. I turned on the TV and started watching Die Hard 2, a cheery Christmas sort of movie. Finally I checked my e-mail and took Gracie out again. That brings us to now.
Outside almost seems balmy. We have sun framed by a light blue sky. It makes the day feel warmer. I may even wear a Hawaiian shirt over all my other layers. It is 15˚ and could go as high as 21˚.
I am going to start putting Christmas away. I have already piled the kitchen decorations on the counter. I de-Christmas room by room. The tree is always last.
My niece started putting Christmas away. Her 3 year old cried on the couch. Her 5 year old started hiding decorations. The two boys were devastated. She let them each chose a couple of decorations they could keep in their room. That worked.
Summer clothes are bright. Winter clothes are dark. I have never understood why for it is in deep winter when we need color and brightness the most. In summer the world is alive. Gardens are bursting with flowers. The grass is lush under foot. The sky is a gentle blue. In winter, gray white and brown predominate. Dead leaves still hang off the ends of branches. The birds wear their drabbest coats. Color is packed away and stored.
Even the sounds of winter are muted behind closed windows. I sometimes hear a barking dog from the street behind me. It sounds lonely, even mournful. At night, the wind seems to howl with a ferocity, and I imagine it surrounding the house and shaking it like a snow globe. The few cars going down my street ride silently on the snow.
The only stirring I will do is to clear off the car windows. The brush is on the floor of the back seat, a silly place as I have to clear that door and window to get at the brush. I guess I’ll use my broom then buy another brush to keep in the house. Winter forces me to be practical.
Categories: Musings
Tags: bare rooms, biscotti, Boston Globe, Cape Times, colors of Chrsitmas, decorations, Die Hard 2, leisurely, taking down Christmas
Comments: 8 Comments
January 1, 2018
I woke up warm and toasty this morning. The comforter was even a bit too much last night. Yesterday at this time nothing was warm, not my nose, my feet, Maddie’s fur or Gracie all over. Both of them are sleeping now.
The freezing weather continues. This morning there was a short snow shower of flaky, light snow. It was almost a whiteout. The old snow now looks new, fitting for today, though I doubt even an inch of snow fell, and it has since stopped. It is freezing cold, only 9˚. The high today will be 15˚ though I have no idea in what world we can call 15˚ a high. The sun has broken through the clouds and brought a bit of blue with it. I think of it as a bit of a celebration to welcome the new year.
I don’t make resolutions. I used to, but I was a complete failure. I have a few hopes, but I make no promises to myself. I’d like to think this year will be better than last. The eternal optimist in me won’t let go. It holds sway. That’s just the way it is.
My life has a rhythm. Even on days I do little or nothing, I still feel alive, open to anything which comes my way. My friends and I have traditions we love and look forward to every year. On the first day of spring we welcome the new season at sunrise on the beach where the waves sometimes have whitecaps and sometimes are very still but are always dependable hitting the shore and leaving ripples in the sand. We sing the same songs year to year. Morning Has Broken is my favorite. We hold up our Day of the Dead decorated cookies expecting praise and maybe even a bit of awe at the hidden talents we all have. The summer is our deck time with movies every Saturday night. We love the breeze going across the deck and the fireflies flitting through the trees in the backyard. We laugh at the wonderfully awful B science fiction movies. We decorate gingerbread houses on Christmas Eve. We share Christmas Day dinner and swap presents. I know this new year will be different, but I know too the familiar will happen in the same loving way.
My memory drawers are so full but there is still room in the back for new memories. I welcome each new year with open arms. It’s possibility, it’s hope and it’s glorious adventures.
Happy New Year, my friends!!
Categories: Musings
Tags: -9˚, 15˚, cloiudy, Day of the Dead, first day of spring, Gingerbread, Happy New Year, memories, no sun', resolutions, rhythm, snow shower, summer, tradition, warm and toasty
Comments: 11 Comments
December 31, 2017
It is 1:49 AM. I was up late, and it was getting cold. Because the thermostat is programmed to go to a lower temperature at 11:30, I went and moved it from automatic to manual and put up the heat. The furnace did not kick in. I turned the thermostat up a bit higher and still nothing. I went down the cellar and the furnace was silent so I came right upstairs and called the emergency service. The house is now down to 64˚. The pleasant woman who answered the phone at this ungodly hour said someone would be right there. Of all times for my furnace to die it has to be in the middle of a record breaking freeze.
I did some errands yesterday. One was to the hardware store, another for dog food and the third to the grocery store for toilet paper. I also bought two pieces of pizza for supper as a sort of reward for going out when the temperature was only 19˚.
The snow started before dark. It was a fluffy use a broom to clear sort of snow. The weather man even suggested using a leaf blower. I don’t know when the snow stopped, but it must have been quick as only an inch or so is on the lawn.
Gracie was shivering a bit. My hands are cold and so is my nose. Maddie is curled in a ball on the chair and sleeping soundly. I put an afghan on Grace, and she stopped shivering and has now fallen asleep. I’m glad the two of them are comfortable.
I checked the thermostat. We’re down to 62˚. It’s been longer than I expected for the furnace guy to come, but then I don’t know where he is coming from, and I’m guessing he was sleeping. Being roused at this hour to go out in the cold has to be unpleasant at best. Luckily I have a movie to watch: Alien Tornado. I’m thinking the title is a spoiler. I already know the plot.
I’m getting tired, but I know I can’t go to sleep not only because the repairman is coming but also because in every movie about people freezing they die if they fall asleep. Okay, I know that’s silly, but I couldn’t resist.
Girls scouts came today selling cookies. I didn’t really want any, but I figured they deserved to make a sale considering how cold it was. The oldest one said her mother told them not to come home until they’d sold at least half their cookies. She said they were just about there.
Today is going to be a nothing day. I don’t need to go out for anything except to bring Gracie out. I have another new book to read, and I’m really hoping I can say I’m going to be warm and cozy because I am neither right now. It has been almost an hour. I am getting impatient.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 1:49 AM, 62˚, dead furnace, emergency service, errands, freezing to deat, girl scout cookies, Snow, thermostat, tired
Comments: 10 Comments
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