Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“You’ll always have a “pizza” my heart.”

February 14, 2023

Right now it is 46° and sunny. Last night it got quite chilly, but warmer weather is coming. It will probably rain tomorrow, a good thing, to keep us out of drought conditions.

When I was a kid, Valentine’s Day was never just a single day. The celebration started a few days before the actual festivities. In school, during art, we made valentine boxes from shoe boxes. We decorated our boxes using construction paper and crayons. We made slits on the tops of the lids for the valentines. I drew and cut out hearts from red construction paper. They were always a bit uneven, but I thought them perfect.

The next step in the festivities was shopping for valentines. I’d walk up town with my mother to Woolworth’s and spend an inordinate amount of time picking the right valentines. They came many to a package. The valentines were one-sided with pictures and sayings on the front, mostly puns. The backs were white so we could write our names. I remember valentines with chicks and puppies and little boys and girls with ruby cheeks. I have a few I bought on line. One has a picture of an elephant driving a car. It says, “You auto to be my valentine.” Another has a boy and his dog on the front. The boy is dressed like a cowboy, including chaps, a gun, a neckerchief and guitar. It says, “Git along little valentine. I’m a heading up to round your heart.” I usually picked ones with a girl on the front.

The night before the big day I’d sign my valentines and pick to whom they’d go. We pre-dated the give one to everyone so I’d address them to my friends first then random kids. I remember trying to fit my whole name on the back. It was always slanted.

On the big day, we’d also bring sweets, like cookies and brownies, to share. I remember sitting at my desk with my Valentine box on it just waiting for the party to start. We’d put the sweets on the nun’s desk for enjoying after giving out valentines. We went row by row, one at a time. I always sort of held my breath just hoping my classmates wouldn’t pass me by. From all over the room you could hear giant sighs of relief when someone got a valentine. Once we were done, we’d pick our sweets and sit at our desks munching while opening the envelopes.

Just before the bell, we’d clean up the class, put our valentines in our boxes and grab a treat or two left over on the desk as we exited the classroom. The walk home took awhile as we munched and showed off the valentines we’d gotten.

When I got home, I’d show my mother each and every valentine and read off the names on the backs. They were always full names and both names barely fit so most were slanted across the back.

I’d save my box under my bed and pull it out and read through my valentines a few more times. I never thought about the ones I didn’t get. I loved the ones I did.

“Moonlight is sculpture: sunlight is painting.”

February 13, 2023

The rain started after midnight and continued into the early morning. It left an ugly day with clouds and a bit of a wind. It is 43°. Today will be a quiet day. It will be a sloth day.

When I was a kid, every weekday was the same. I got up, ate cereal, dressed for school then walked out the door and down the hill. School wasn’t all that far away, mostly it was a straight shot from the bottom of the hill. I never remember being bored back then despite the sameness of every day. Somehow there was always something to fill the time. I used to color at the kitchen table while my mother made dinner. On the table, I had my coloring book and a cigar box, the final resting place for crayons of every length, many without labels, but I didn’t mind the missing labels. I did mind short crayons with blunt ends. Those I tossed.

Weeknight dinners were usually meat and potatoes and a canned vegetable except for Fridays and Saturdays. Friday was meatless so we sometimes had fish sticks and French fries or fried dough, our favorite. On Saturdays we had the traditional hot dogs, beans and brown bread.

My sister had a beef stew for dinner last night. She mentioned mashing the potatoes and carrots together because that was how my mother served them. It was a trick, her way of having us eat carrots. We fell for it every time.

When I was a bit older, I used to love walking home at night. It was always quiet. I remember how circles of lights shining from the windows of the houses closest to the sidewalks lit the way. In the summertime those windows were open, and I could hear the TVs blaring. Somehow it was a comforting sound.

When I lived in Ghana, I loved going to my town at night, usually to buy snacks of some sort as women, aunties, cooked and sold food along the sides of the street. As I rode into town, I could see pockets of light from cooking fires and small lanterns. In between, the street was dark. Some food like Guinea fowl was cooked on screens over charcoal fires burning in huge white metal bowls. Other foods like plantain chips, a favorite, and yam chips were cooked in white bowls of boiling peanut oil also over charcoal fires. Sometimes I could find kelewele, my all time favorite street food. That was serendipitous. I always ate some from the newspaper wrappings on my way home. I could never resist.

“Movies, they were the thing. Movies took you away. You could count on popcorn and happy endings.”

February 12, 2023

I woke up to another cloudy day, but rain is predicted so I don’t mind the clouds so much. We are still in the 40’s, and the high today will be 47°. I haven’t any errands so I’ll stay close to home today. I noticed some paper I missed in the other side of the yard so I’ll grab my prisoner stick and get cleaning.

When I was a kid, I mostly walked to Sunday mass. I sat in the back of the church, the best place for a hasty exit. I never wore a hat, but I did wear a lacy mantilla. One time I Bobby pinned Kleenex to my hair when I forgot my mantilla. As silly as it looked, other women too wore the same head covering, Kleenex with Bobby pins. They were always white Kleenex. I found mass boring. Back then it was still in Latin. I was not a fan of sermons. They made the mass longer so I went to mass downstairs where there was no sermon. The pews were always filled. People stood in the back. They didn’t want a sermon either. A couple of times I also stood and sort of hid in the back where there were racks on the back wall filled with pamphlets. I used to read them to pass the time. I was never devout.

Every kid I knew had a sled, ice skates and a bike. They were the necessities of life. My bike was my favorite. I remember the Christmas when I got it. That blue bike was the first thing I saw when I was going down stairs and peeked over the railing to see what was under the tree. My eyes saw only that bike.

My favorite Sunday dinner was always roast beef, mashed potatoes and peas. My mother made great gravy. It was never lumpy. I used to put the gravy in the well I made on the top of the potatoes. Sometimes I mixed the peas and the potatoes. It was ugly but tasty. Mostly we just grabbed cookies for dessert. They were the mobile foods.

My new TV is delayed so I am still watching my iPad and my computer. Last night I watched Revolt of the Zombies from 1936. It was wonderfully bad. I just wished I had popcorn oozing with butter or cheese popcorn or a candy bar, maybe a Milky Way or a Mounds. I’ll put them on the shopping list, all of them.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” 

February 11, 2023

Today is another delight but colder than yesterday’s delight when it was so beautiful and close to 60°. I went for quite a ride in the afternoon all the way down to Chatham on 28 and back on Route 6A. I made two stops, at the post office and at the tiny South Chatham library. I was looking for the thrift shop but went to the library instead, a serendipitous stop. I chatted with the library lady for a while and was surprised by the book cards in the backs of the books. The lady showed me her file box of cards. I found books on sale so I picked out and bought 5 hard covers for $10.00. I was so very happy with my finds.

The last few months have been a trial for me. The finger fiasco was a huge part of it. It took me a while to decorate for Christmas then another while to put it away. I still have presents upstairs waiting to be sorted and wrapped. It is my new project. My pine tree is up in the dining room waiting for my friends and me to celebrate our Christmas, soon I hope. I didn’t have my uke for a few months. I didn’t go out much except for PT. I was okay but I’m not fond of okay. Fast forward to now. Good things have happened. I no longer have PT. I graduated, and I’m still enjoying my congratulatory cookies from my sister, but sadly, they are almost gone. My new TV is being delivered today. I am back to uke, twice a week. Yesterday I had a burst of energy. I brought in my Christmas cow. I added and rearranged books in my little library where I found a gift, a snowman dish. I re-taped the bird holes in the library wood. I picked up Nala’s backyard trash. I had hot dogs for dinner. Life is good.

When I lived in Ghana, I read all the time. The first books I read were from a Peace Corps book locker, gifted to me by a volunteer finishing her service. Before my time, Peace Corps used to give them to volunteers so I was lucky to get this one. The books in that locker were just amazing. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy were there. I became immersed in Middle Earth and resented the need to sleep. I wanted just to keep reading. I read all four books one after the other and only stopped reading to teach and sleep. I read while I ate. My town also had a library for which I will be forever grateful. I was never without a book to read.

“Is the spring coming?” he said. “What is it like?”…”It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine…” 

February 10, 2023

The morning is a delight. It is 54°. The air is still. The sun is bright and warm. I don’t see a single cloud. I’ve decided I’m going to take a ride. Today is not a day to waste sitting inside. The only chores on my list are easy: do a small wash and clear the trash from the yard.

When I was a kid, today would have been a perfect bike day. In the morning, just after breakfast, I’d have to haul my bike from its winter quarters, the cellar, so I could ride to school. In the parking lot, behind both schools, the old and the new, there was a bike rack under the trees along one side of the fence. It was wooden and painted green, green being one of the school colors. I never had a lock for my bike, but I did have a license plate. The police gave them out if you registered your bike. The license was green and had Stoneham and a plate number on it. My dad attached it to the back of my bike.

Riding my bike to school meant I got home quicker than usual. I’d walk the last part of the hill, drop my bike on the lawn, run inside, change into play clothes and go back outside to ride. I was so fleet-footed I sometimes set a new world’s record for the quickest change.

A day like today has me hungering for spring. The daffodil shoots in the front garden are getting higher. I check their progress every day. I know it is only February, but a warm day can be beguiling, and I fall for it every time.

On warmer days, the dogs go out for a long time. I get nervous and check, a left over worry from Miss Gracie. She was my fence leaper. Henry dances and jumps on his hind legs when he knows dinner is coming. That is as high as he gets. When Nala zooms the yard, she follows the fence line. She doesn’t seem interested in escaping. She sees the yard as her pawn shop, a place to leave her stolen goods.

I am a deep sleeper. Before I fall asleep, the dogs get comfy. Nala starts under my spread leaning against me, but at some point she moves without the spread. I never wake up when she does. Henry has taken possession of the bottom of the bed. He and I form perpendicular lines. Henry is also my guard. If he hears a noise, he leaps off the bed, stands at the top of the stairs and barks a few times then stops to evaluate the situation. Usually he comes back to bed. I’m hoping it’s always that way, but should it not be, Henry makes me feel safe. Woe to anyone who runs a foul of Henry. I know from experience.

“For there we loved, and where we love is home,Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts…”

February 9, 2023

We are in the midst of a heat wave, that is if you compare the temperature to last week’s when it was around 8°. Right now it is 46°. Even though we’re socked in by clouds spread across the sky I’m going closet hunting for my Hawaiian shirt. I don’t think I need sunscreen, but I’ll keep it around just in case.

Yesterday was an amazing day for me. I got to play the newest book at uke, and my finger barely hurt which is a great thing as next week I have 4 uke events: practice, a lesson, a mid-week concert and another on the weekend at the mall. I’m thinking three of those might be enough for my crooked, barely bending finger. Yesterday’s second event made me cry. I was bemoaning my fate of a dead TV to someone I don’t know all that well. When we meet, we usually chat so the TV came up in conversation. I told her how I compensate with my iPad. Why didn’t I buy a new one? I explained I was being given a TV which best fit my budget. She asked how much one would cost. I had no idea as the dead TV was one of the first HD sets and was massively expensive. It worked well all these years and deserves its eternal rest. She handed me a check for $500. I thanked her and refused the kind offer. She said she was paying it forward in honor of a relative who had passed. I couldn’t refuse. That’s when I cried. That’s when I got my hug. The third and culminating event was a package from my sister and brother-in-law congratulating me on the end of my PT, four months after the surgery. It was filled with cookies from Cheryl’s. I ate two.

Where I lived in Ghana was way up country. It was the poorest part of the country and the region with the most extreme temperatures. Right now it is 101°, a dry 101°, but soon enough the dry heat will disappear and the humidity will start. The rainy season isn’t far away. My students, on one of my return trips, told me they were amazed I lived in Bolga as many Ghanaians would not choose to live there, but a white woman did. I didn’t tell them I had been posted there even before I got to Ghana. I knew nothing of Bolga until mid-way through training when I spent a week there meeting the principal, checking out my town and what I needed for my house. It was the rainy season.

It didn’t take long for Bolga to feel like home. I got waves and greetings everywhere I went. I fell in love with my town and was so very thankful to have been chosen to live there. That’s what I told my former students. They said they knew that.

“The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck.”

February 7, 2023

Right now it is 33°, but it seemed warmer when I went to get the papers as there is no wind. The sky is covered in light grey clouds, but no rain is predicted until later tonight. l still have a few chores but easy chores, a little sweeping and a bit of dusting.

Last night, on my den table, were two iPads and my computer, all compensating for the dead TV which sits staring at me from across the room. If I were a character in a Stephen King book, the TV would be listening to me and watching me, turning itself on and off. It needs to go, but before that can happen, I’ll have to clear the top of my file cabinet so I can lean over and unplug the TV and the cable. Nothing is simple anymore. I have had two TV offers, kind, generous offers, so I am getting close to a TV, an actual TV. The primitive life is not at all appealing.

When I was a kid, the TV had tubes. If one died, the TV usually died. My father, the handyman (says I with tongue in cheek) would remove tubes and bring them to the TV repair shop to be checked. He’d buy new ones once the dead tubes were identified. He just didn’t remember where they went. Most times he’d have to call a repair man to put the TV back together.

This TV story reminds me of another Dad story. This time he was fixing the toilet (says I with tongue in cheek). He took the inside apart by pulling out the pieces. He bought a couple of parts but had no idea what was wrong. Cue the plumber who wanted to know who killed the toilet. That would be my father the TV repair man-plumber.

Nala is a whiz at taking down the gate protecting Jack’s room and his food. I only catch her once in a while. I always think the gate is secure. Most times I’m wrong. Her technique is to lean the gate against the side of the door so it doesn’t fall and make a noise. She jumps over it and then back. Sometimes she gives herself away by coming down the stairs with an empty can from the cat room trash in her mouth. I grab the can, run upstairs, clean up the trash and set the gate. This morning she did it again. I decided to move the gate so it is on the stairs about half-way up. I hadn’t done it before as Henry likes to nap in my room, but enough is enough, the perfect cliche for how I’m feeling. Well, just a short while ago, Nala tried to get pass the gate. She failed. It fell and slid down the stairs. I jumped at the unexpected crash. Nala ran. Solution? Maybe! But I never underestimate Nala.

“Life is good when you have a good sandwich.”

February 6, 2023

The day is warm at 41°. We’re socked in by light grey clouds, but it won’t rain. Both dogs love this weather. They stay out a while. Henry is always first to come inside the house. When Nala doesn’t follow, I call for her. I am always a bit suspicious when she stays out. What is she up to now?

Yesterday I was busy a good part of the day. We, Nala and I, went to the dump. I did three loads of laundry, watered the plants,, swept the hall and kitchen and changed my bed. In the late afternoon I fell asleep sitting up on the couch. It was all the laundry hauling.

Last night I watch movies on my computer. My favorite was Five Million Miles to Earth released in 1968. I’d seen it before but not in a long time. I had hunted to find the complete movie and finally struck gold at Internet Archives.

My house is quiet without TV. Right now my fingers hitting the keys is the only sound. Henry’s barking earlier warned of an intruder. I checked and saw a patron at my little library. Henry had done his job well. My little library is on my to-do list for today as I have some books to add, and it needs rearranging.

When I was a kid, my books were all in my bedroom. I used to organize them by series. All the Trixie Belden were together. Donna Parker was beside Trixie. Both were Whitman published books with those glossy, illustrated cardboard covers. I still have many of them. The spines of a few have cracked because of multiple readings and time. They were mostly released in the 50’s. My Nancy Drews took up half a shelf. The Bobbsey Twins took up the other half. Black Beauty, Zorro, Little Women, Heidi and Robinson Crusoe were a few of the other books, the classics. I have an Annette book.

My dance card has sparse entries this week. Uke practice, a lesson and a concert are the only items, but I’ll have to pick and choose two as my finger objects to all that activity and tightens and swells. It is not a pretty sight.

The other night I had a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich. I was hungry but not hungry enough to cook. I loved that sandwich. As I was eating, my memory drawer popped open at the familiar taste. When I was a kid, I would make Saltine sandwiches with PB on one side and Marshmallow Fluff on the other. It was the best snack. I need Saltines.

“Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?”

February 4, 2023

Misery fills my day. The temperature, the real, not feels like, was 2° when I woke up. The house was a bit chilly, think mid 60’s, so now the heat is blasting. As for last night, around 2:30 or so, I was reading in bed when the electricity died. I decided to nestle under the covers with the dogs and go to sleep, but only a few minutes later the lights went on, and I could hear the heat. This morning is when sheer misery entered my life. My TV died during the night. The poor old thing probably couldn’t handle the quick on and off of electricity. I am bereft. It feels as if I’ve been thrown back in time to the days before TV. I will hunt for a new one, and until I find what I want and can afford, I’ll watch TV on my laptop.

When I was a kid, we first lived in South Boston. I have flashes of memories from back then when I was all of two or maybe three or four. I remember playing in the yard filled with clothes lines, and I can still see in my mind’s eye the building where my mother brought me for nursery school. It was made of brick and was across the street from our building. I don’t remember leaving, but I guess I just went out the door and went home. My mother brought me back, and I left again. It was the same the next day. I never went back. That was my first school experience.

Still in South Boston, the neighbors got the first TV. They used to open their apartment door so all the other neighbors could watch. It was like a movie theater with lines of chairs in the hall. It was miraculous.

I don’t remember when we got our first TV, but I also don’t remember a time before TV. The first TV I remember was in a giant cabinet with two doors. The set itself was small. We had an antenna on the roof and rabbit ears inside, but, regardless, the TV picture was often streaked with lines, and it flickered. I don’t think I cared. It was miraculous.

When I was in Ghana, I didn’t miss TV. I had a cassette player sent to me by my family during my first year. They had also sent maybe five or six cassettes. I played them most nights. Music and reading were my evening entertainments. I was quite content. I hope the same for now!!!

“Commas, like nuns, often travel in pairs.”

February 3, 2023

Cold doesn’t describe today. Frigid gets closer. Right now it is 21°. Add the wind and the temperature drops to a single digit, 7°. Tonight the high will be 14° and the low-7. I got my papers and yesterday’s mail this morning, and I can attest to the cold. I doubt there are enough layers to keep me warm so I have no intention of going out today. I won’t even get dressed. I may have to bake some brownies or something else sweet as I have nothing in the house. Chocolate would make today near perfect.

Yesterday afternoon I toyed with a nap. I put my book and glasses on the table and settled on the couch. I think I drifted off then I heard a noise. I checked. There she was, Miss Nala, looking at me with my glasses in her mouth and a proud look on her face. I asked her to drop it, which she sometimes does, and I mentioned a treat, but she ran out the backdoor. A few minutes later Nala came in for her treat, no glasses in her mouth. By then it was getting dark so I took my lantern and went outside. I held it close to the deck and hunted. I found my glasses in a small drift of snow. The only damage is one ear piece bent a bit. I know you’re probably thinking why did I put them where the queen of felonies could steal them. The glasses have always been put on that on the table. We’re talking years. I have no inkling as to why she steals what she steals except for the food. She found my carefully hidden stash of animal crackers. I am still devastated.

When I was a kid, I went to St. Patrick’s Grammar School from grades one to eight. I remember two teachers more than others. The first was my sixth grade teacher, Miss Quilter. She made everything come alive. She made me want to be the best I could be. The other was Sister Hildegard. She was my eighth grade teacher. She should have been retired. I used to leave school a few hours early. I never sneaked out but always told her where I was going. She’d wave her hand in dismissal, and I was gone usually with my friend Jimmy. Sister Hildegard did not enjoy my classmates and me. She accused of collusion with the devil. She used to say when we graduated she’d write across the backboard in giant letters, “Thank God they’re gone.”