Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”

April 23, 2013

I don’t remember writing Coffee this late on an ordinary day. Blame a restless night. I went upstairs about 12:30 followed by the parade of animals. We settled in, and I started reading. At the end of each chapter, I’d check the next one and see how many pages it had and tell myself that the next one would be the last. This went on until 3, chapter by chapter, as I just wasn’t tired. Thinking I could drift off, I finally turned off the light but just couldn’t fall asleep. Gracie was snoring at the foot of the bed and Fern was nestled beside me. I couldn’t get comfortable. I moved so much Gracie got up and settled to get out of my way. I didn’t check the time, but I was still awake when the birds began to sing, and when the first light of morning appeared in my window. I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I know I woke up at 10, still tired. Right now I’m the only one awake. Gracie is in her usually spot on the couch, Maddie is beside purring like crazy and Fern is behind me on the cushion curled in a ball and in a deep sleep. I envy them.

Today is dark and rainy. I love my house the most on days like today. It always feels warm and cozy like a hug. I light the candles and the strands of lights in the living room. They cast a gentle glow through the dark of the day. I can barely hear the rain. The birds are in and out of the big feeders; the smaller feeders need to be filled as does the thistle feeder. Maybe later when the rain stops.

When I was in Ghana, I missed so many events, didn’t even hear of them until long after they’d occurred. The moon landing we knew about so we sat around the radio and listened to the description of what everyone at home could see on their televisions. I didn’t know about Woodstock until I after I had gotten home, two years later. It was the music I heard first then I went to the school library and looked up magazines about Woodstock and devoured every article. I bought the album and listened to it  several times. Richie Havens’ music was jaw dropping. When the film appeared, I finally got to see what I had missed, and he was riveting. Yesterday I was saddened to read of his death and felt the huge loss. Anyone who loves music has to feel the same way.

The reason I’m not posting his music today is because once when I posted it on Blogger, the song was removed, and I got a message from Blogger, a reprimand, that I had violated copyright laws. Later when I had three strikes, three violations, Blogger erased Coffee. I don’t want to take the same chance again.

Here is Richie Havens at Woodstock:

“…at morning, I’m unruffled – I’ll sit with my tea and Muse Cat beside me and listen to the soft chime of the grandfather clock…”

April 22, 2013

The sun streaming through the front door is hot. Fern has taken possession of the rug in front of the door and is, as usual, sprawled in the sun. Maddie and Gracie are here on the couch with me. Gracie is having her morning nap. After all, she has been awake for a couple of hours and must be exhausted. Maddie just wants a few pats.

All of us have morning rituals. Fern and Gracie sleep on my bed so when I wake up, they jump up and wish me a good morning. Gracie wags her tiny Boxer tail so much I expect it to become a rotor and for her tail end to take flight the way a helicopter does. If my morning ever becomes a cartoon, that’s exactly what would happen. Fern rolls all over the bed and sometimes has to grab the sheet or she’d roll right off. I pat her and she bumps me with her head to let me know she expects more. After the morning greetings are done, I feed the cats and Gracie and I go downstairs. Maddie is usually on the table in the sun. She gets her morning pats after which I let Gracie out and put on the coffee then I go outside to get the papers, and most mornings I stop to admire the new flowers. This morning there were two yellow and white daffodils which had just bloomed. After admiring my garden for a while, I go back inside, fill Gracie’s dry food dish so she can munch during the day, leave two biscuits in her crate then grab my coffee and go into the den to read the papers. That is my morning just about every single day except Sunday when I go out to breakfast, the only break in my routine.

Soon enough it will be warm, and I’ll be on the deck with my coffee and papers. Gracie will take her morning nap spread out on the lounge, and I’ll stop and watch the birds at the feeders. Sometimes I bring my laptop outside where I’ll write Coffee.

I love my mornings.

“Life is more fun if you play games.”

April 21, 2013

Last night was cold, and today is chilly though the sun is warm. I envy Fern who is sprawled on the mat by the front door in the sun. Her fur is hot to the touch. Cats know how to live.

My tulips have bloomed. Their bright red is eye-catching. The hyacinths are pink and white and purple and are in the front garden where everyone can see them. My neighbor called and thanked me. She said she looks out her front window often to see how beautiful the colors in the garden are.

I only remember pansies from when I was a kid. They were the only flowers my father planted in the small garden near the front door. I loved their faces. To me they had eyes and mouths and different expressions and they all looked like they were wearing bonnets. I expected them to break out in song. Their voices I figured would be high like the voices in the old cartoons. They’d sing and bob their heads in unison.

When we were really little, my dad would lie on the floor and raise his legs just a bit. We’d get on his feet, stomach first. He’d then raise his legs all the way and up we’d go as high as his legs would take us. He’d hold our hands and spin us using his feet.  We’d laugh the whole time. The worse part was we had to take turns. Even this ride had a line.

I loved it when the whole family would jump into the car for a Sunday ride. My dad would pick back roads, and we’d see farms and cows and sometimes horses. My brother and I each had a window. On warm days I’d open the window, and stick out my hand so the wind could blow it.

When I was growing up, my parents did all sorts of stuff with us. I doubt they knew how important all of it would become, how it would become part of who we are now. They gave us a love for museums, the fun of taking a ride with no destination, and the best of all, playing games together at the kitchen table. Tonight my friends and I will play Phase 10 and Sorry, a game I’ve been playing since I was six.

“While he lives, he must think; while he thinks, he must dream.”

April 20, 2013

My bedroom window was open all night. It was finally warm enough. The room was filled with the smell of nighttime and of cool fresh air. I could hear the birds, and I heard when it started to rain, one of my favorite sounds in the whole world. I heard the drops fall from the roof to the deck, and I thought maybe I heard a rumble of thunder but then again maybe not. There I was comfy in bed, reading my iPad and surrounded by Fern and Gracie, both asleep and both deeply breathing, more sounds I love. I was totally content.

The top of my Cape Times was wet though it was in two plastic bags. The Globe was dry. I took my time reading the papers and drinking my coffee. Days like today invite leisure, a slow savoring of the morning. The rain stopped a short while back. Out my window I can see the pine trees, and I can’t remember the last time their branches were so still. I can hear birds singing and very now and then a bright yellow goldfinch flies by my window. Their color is in such contrast to the gray branches of the pine trees that I can see every one of these small bright birds who are sitting on branches waiting their turns at the feeders.

If I could change my life, I don’t think I would. Well, one thing maybe: a bit more money so I could travel more often. I imagine my doorbell ringing, and, there, standing on the steps, is a burly man dressed in a suit holding his fedora. He introduces himself as Michael Anthony, the executive secretary of John Beresford Tipton, Jr. In his hand is a cashier’s check for one million dollars made out to me, taxes already paid. I sign what we’d now call a non-disclosure agreement and the check is mine. I remember when I was young I’d watch that show, The Millionaire, and dream about what I’d do with the money. I don’t think I understood the magnitude of a million dollars, and I suspect my dreams back then would have been fairly inexpensive to fulfill. I do remember, though, that one of them was to travel around the world. Sometimes dreams stay with us forever.

“Love is a selfless service to mankind like a showcase done by the twinkling stars in beautiful nightly sky.”

April 19, 2013

The sun is on hiatus again. The sky is white cloudy and it’s chilly, not cold. The birds are busy at the feeders, and the chipmunk is somewhere else. Gracie has been in the yard most of the morning. Every now and then she barks and then comes in to check on me then goes back outside. She loves the yard.

Every morning since Monday I have turned on the TV just to check for any news about the bombing. If there is nothing, I turn off the TV, but this morning’s news has me intently watching what is happening. It didn’t take long from yesterday’s briefing by the FBI which showed the pictures of the two bombers, brothers, for them to be identified. A comment the other day was that this isn’t a CSI case and don’t expect an instant ending, a quick solving of the crime, but it does feel quick, only three days to identify the bombers. One has been killed, and the other is the subject of a manhunt the likes of which this state has never seen.

I have traveled many parts of the world and been treated with kindness and sometimes even concern. When I lived in Ghana, I had my pocket picked, was the victim of an attempted purse snatching (during training and during my first weekend in Accra) and had my house broken into, but I was never afraid for myself. Even the purse snatching was a bit of adventure as the snatcher and I fought over the bag, each of us pulling a handle. That incident didn’t stop me from continuing training and taking my oath as a volunteer. It just became a story to tell.

Once on a train from Denmark to the Hook of Holland, our train-mate fed us, my friend and me, the whole trip from a huge basket she had packed for the ride. She was an East German heading home to England and her husband, an Englishman. The food was amazing, and, like the loaves and the fishes, the basket never went empty. In Morocco, I’d get tired and my back would hurt so I’d stop and stand for a while. Each time I did, someone offered me a seat, and I always took it and sat and watched the world around me. They’d tell me to stay as long I needed to sit. Once I even got coffee, strong Moroccan coffee, in a small cup.

In South America, my travel mate and I were quite often the only non locals on a bus or train. At every stop someone would tell us where we were, and when we stopped for dinner on the night bus, the whole menu was translated for us by another passenger. In Columbia, in the salt mine, I asked how the blackened salt was turned white. A man heard my question and invited my friend and me to see the factory down the road where he worked. We were given hard hats and a complete tour of the factory. I remember the taste of salt in my mouth stayed for what seemed liked forever.

After my second surgery, I got on the bus and immediately the man in the front seat stood up and said take my seat. You shouldn’t have to walk.

I am not naive just because I believe in the innate goodness of most people, their willingness to help, even their eagerness to help, but goodness doesn’t usually make headlines and small stories like mine are seldom told, but good heartedness is not rare. It is all around us. We just have to look.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”

April 18, 2013

Today is a sunny but chilly day. The forsythia in my yard has blossomed and is the most beautiful yellow. It is the sun come to ground for just a little bit. The sky is as blue as it can ever be, and not a cloud can be seen, not even the smallest. Gracie has been in the yard all morning playing with her partially deflated basketball. She carries it in her mouth and runs around the yard. When she gets tired, she lies in the sun on the deck then comes in for a drink from her porcelain water bowl and then goes back outside. A dog never wastes a beautiful day. A chipmunk is my newest nemesis. It is small enough not to trip the feeder which thwarts the spawns. I look out the window, and when I see the chipmunk sitting on the feeder and munching, I run out and scare it. This morning it didn’t hear me, and I got close enough to touch it had I wanted to, but then it saw me and ran across the rail. I chased it just to scare it, and I did. I had to clean the rail afterwards.

Yesterday I treated myself to lunch. I had a panini with bacon, cheddar, avocado, lettuce and horseradish. It was delicious. I sat and ate my lunch at a table by the window and watched the traffic, cars and people, go by. I bought Gracie a treat at the dog store and then went home, satisfied I hadn’t wasted a beautiful day.

My cats sleep in the sun. They whack each other for position then settle in where the sun shines the brightest. Fern usually gets the better spot, and she stretches out her body so that all of it will feel the warmth. She starts at the front door then moves to the back in the early afternoon. Gracie is a bit afraid of Fern who takes full advantage of that fear. When Fern is by the back door, Gracie won’t come in her dog door. She bangs it to let me know she wants in and wants a bit of protection. I save her. Fern has never hurt Gracie. She just intimidates. Her favorite game is keep Gracie off the bed. Fern runs from side to side so Gracie won’t jump on the bed. I save Gracie. Fern washes Gracie often especially while all of us are on the bed. Poor Gracie sits wide-eyed wondering what might happen. Nothing ever does. Fern likes Gracie, but she also likes being the top dog, so to speak. Pets are interesting and funny and loving.

“The sadness of the world has different ways of getting to people, but it seems to succeed almost every time.”

April 16, 2013

I am now thankful for my painful back. For weeks I have been cursing when I walk or move in the wrong direction, and yesterday morning I was unhappy at not working the marathon as it is something I enjoy doing every year. Now I feel blessed. I would have been right near where the first explosion occurred, right down the street from it.

In no way can I understand why yesterday’s events at the marathon happened. Patriot’s Day is a legal holiday in Massachusetts and the whole day is a celebration. It starts with the nighttime ride of Paul Revere, who this time is escorted by the state police, warning about the British coming. At 5:30 in the morning a reenactment begins on Lexington Green and another after that at Concord Bridge. At 11, the Sox play every year. The marathon is an all day event as runners cross the finish line sometimes as late as 7. Copley Square is the end of the race where the crowds wait, where the bleachers are and the VIP seats. The crowd is sometimes 5 or 6 people deep. Volunteers work the scene in all different ways identified by their colored jackets. Some stand on the street and just applaud and congratulate the runners. Many are in the medical tent and some have a wheel chair as their responsibility, and they walk the area with it in case a runner needs help.

I will never understand the mind which planned and carried out the bombings. An 8-year-old boy died. What sort of person finds satisfaction in the death of anyone let alone a small child. I wonder if the bomber is sitting in front of his TV watching the aftermath and enjoying his work. I so want this person found.

Miss Gracie and I will while away the day today. We will take a ride. It’s sunny and the sky is blue. I want to see the stirrings of spring on Cape Cod, stop for lunch somewhere and maybe take a few pictures. I want to see the ocean. I want to hear music on the radio. For a little while, I want some distance from this horrific event.

“If you live in each other’s pockets long enough, you’re related.”

April 15, 2013

I have always thought of Keep the Coffee Coming as a community, a family. We get to chat with each other, share memories and have a laugh or two sometimes at our own expenses. One of my favorite Coffee experiences is learning about the world from all of you and about your childhoods and your holidays and traditions. Some family members have been with me for years, and I cherish them but I also cherish the newest members of the family. I think of Coffee as a place devoid of criticism or controversy, a place where we can all feel comfortable with each other.

My friend Hedley has decided not to return to Coffee. Though he has been with me for what seems like the best and longest time, he has decided not to visit again. I wrote him an e-mail wondering if he was okay as I hadn’t heard from him in a while. It was then he told me that there were so many anti-British comments made he felt uncomfortable at the very least and pained enough by the comments that he didn’t feel welcome here any more. He is my friend and I will miss him and his wonderful comments.

I decided that I would tell this to all of you so that maybe it won’t happen again and just maybe Hedley will return. We can’t like everything and we don’t always agree, but we should always respect one another.

I do have one story for the day and I’ll call it Gracie, the Possum and Me. Gracie was sleeping and snoring beside me on the couch around 12:30 last night when she jumped up and ran outside. Right away I heard banging and a noise I couldn’t identify so I grabbed my flashlight and went out on the deck. I flashed the light all over the backyard and finally saw Gracie near the right side of the deck. Then I noticed the dead possum at the foot of the deck stairs. It was a huge, adult possum, as ugly as they come. I went down the cellar and couldn’t find my shovel so I grabbed a hoe and a garden fork missing one tine so I could get rid of the deceased. I went out the cellar door which is right near the stairs. It was then the possum got up and started walking. Gracie ran and grabbed it and I ran and screamed so Gracie dropped it. The possum had only been playing dead and had done a great job. I was completely fooled. After Gracie dropped it, the possum looked dead again, but I didn’t go too close and instead stood guard. Gracie kept running the perimeter of the yard and up the other deck stairs to my side stairs trying to get at the possum. I thwarted her every time. Gracie did that at least seven times. I was totally frustrated as I didn’t dare leave the possum and so I couldn’t lock the gates on the deck to catch Gracie. Finally Gracie was on the stairs near me long enough for me to talk to her, and she came right to me. I grabbed her and brought her inside and gave her a treat for coming. I decided to leave the possum until morning. The whole escapade was over at 1:20.

The first thing I did this morning was check for the possum before I let Gracie out. The possum had done it again, superbly played dead, and had gotten away while we were inside the house. I let Gracie out, and she went looking. Sorry, Gracie, the possum is gone!

“Sunday is the core of our civilization, dedicated to thought and reverence.”

April 14, 2013

The day has potential. The sun is working its way from behind the clouds so every now and then I see light which gives me a bit of hope. A patch of blue also appears then disappears so I’m thinking maybe a nice afternoon might be the order of the day. I think a lovely Sunday afternoon is the best of all. During the week most people work so lovely goes to waste, and Saturday is generally chore and errand day so though we may get out into the sun we don’t get to enjoy it. It’s just the backdrop. Sunday, by tradition, is the quiet day, a day with no ambitions, a day to be enjoyed.

Tomorrow is a holiday, Patriot’s Day, when we commemorate the Battles of Lexington and Concord. Paul Revere and William Dawes will make their way on horseback to warn everyone the British are coming. This time around, though, state troopers will escort the riders. There is also a reenactment of the Battle on Lexington Green which begins around 5:30 and later, at 9, is one at the Old North Bridge in Concord. Tomorrow is also the marathon. This is the first year in a long time I haven’t worked it, but my back prevents it; instead, I’ll watch the Red Sox. Their game begins at 11 because of the marathon.

This is April vacation week for kids. When I worked, I always went to Europe for the week, to one country or city. They were adult trips: no backpacks or hostels or sleeping on night busses. Usually we rented a car and travelled all over. Portugal is still my favorite trip, but I did love Belgium and the Netherlands. The scariest ride was in the fog through the Black Forest. I couldn’t see the road more than a few feet ahead of the car, and I’d have been doomed if not for the white line. The prettiest rides were through the Ardennes and in the Netherlands with its windmills. My parents were my fellow travelers, and they were great fun. My dad and I played cards every night after dinner while my mother worked on her crossword puzzles. They were amiable travelers and didn’t really care which road we took. All of if was new to us. They never balked at any restaurant and were willing to try new foods. I drove and my mother was the navigator. My father thought he was, but he butchered every language so my mother would repeat the city where we were going, and it never ever sounded even close to what my father had said. He never caught on.

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”

April 13, 2013

Spawns of Satan is already taken so I don’t know what to call the bird that pecks the side of my house and wakes me up. It has found the most inaccessible spot for me to get at it to shoo it away. I’m thinking a hose with the water at its strongest will reach the spot and scare away the bird. I wouldn’t dare try a stone because I’d probably break a window though it isn’t really all that close to the bird’s spot. It’s not a woodpecker, but I think it’s a nuthatch. Whatever it is doesn’t matter. That bird is going down!

It is still a damp day though the rain has stopped. The temperature is supposed to be in the 40’s and by mid-week close to 60˚. I think the sun would help if it would only come out of hiding.

I have to venture onto the deck later to fill the feeders. I watch the birds from the window while I wait for my coffee and have noticed how bright and beautiful the male gold finches are. Today I also had two house finches and a flicker. My stalwart chickadees have returned though they are fewer than usual.

The mornings are alive with the songs of birds. I woke up at one point and couldn’t see the clock but knew it must be close to dawn as I could hear birds welcoming the day. That is one of the best parts of spring: that the days are again filled with sound. Winter tends to blunt them. We all stay warm and secluded in our houses. The decks and yards are empty. We go from the house to the car to the store to the car and then home. Warm spring days, though, call to us to come outside. The sun is inviting. The world is alive again. It’s as if we’re shedding our winter coats and, like bears, leaving our caves. The long hibernation is finally over.