Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“we’re all golden sunflowers inside.”

June 17, 2013

This morning I woke up early and had that strange burst of energy I get some mornings. I made my bed, put on a load of wash, took a shower and read both papers, all before 8 o’clock. I think that’s a new record for me.

When I was walking back from the drive-way with my paper, I noticed a catbird carrying a long, brown what looked like a frond from a daffodil in its mouth. He dropped it when I walked near and the frond caught on the top of the fence. I moved the frond to the grass. When I looked later, it was gone, and while I was standing at the door, the catbird flew by with another piece of brown grass in its beak. I watched to see where the bird was going. The nest is being built in my forsythia bush in the front garden. The bush is tall and thick and perfect for a nest. The bush needs trimming so I’ll have to catch my landscaper and have him leave it be for a while. I can live with a shaggy forsythia.

My Sunday breakfast is now my Monday breakfast. With the summer crowd, my place has a line out the door and down the parking lot on Sunday mornings but not on Mondays. This morning, after the hectic start to my day, I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast with my friend, and it was a wonderful way to slow down to enjoy the day, a delightful day with blue skies and temperatures in the 70’s.

I have only one errand to do and a couple of chores. I’ll get to them later. There’s no hurry. I have the whole day!

I love sitting here in the coolness of my den. The only sounds I hear are the birds. They sing in stereo all around my house. The cats and the dog are napping and for once, Gracie isn’t snoring. Content is how I feel.

“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.”

June 16, 2013

This is my annual Father’s Day post. It brings back a rush of memories every time I read it. My dad was one of a kind in the best of all possible ways.

I have so many memories of growing up, of family trips and my dad trying to whack at us from the front and never succeeding, of playing whist in the kitchen, my mom and me against my dad and brother, of Sunday rides, of going to the drive-in and the beach and of being loved by my dad. Memories of my dad are with me always, but today my memories are all of my dad, and my heart is filled to the brim with missing him, but when I close my eyes, I see him so clearly.

It’s a warm day so he’d be sitting on the front steps with his coffee cup reading the paper. He’d have on a white t-shirt and maybe his blue shorts. He’d wave at the neighbors going by in their cars. They all knew him and would honk back. He loved being retired, and we were glad he had a few years of just enjoying life.

He was the funniest guy, mostly on purpose but lots of times by happenstance. We used to have Dad stories, all those times when we roared and he had no idea why. He used to laugh along with us and ask, “What did I say? What did I say?” We were usually laughing too hard to tell him. He was a good sport about it.

I know you’ve heard this before, but it is one of my favorite Dad stories. He, my mom and I were in Portugal. I was driving. My dad was beside me. On the road, we had passed many piggyback tandem trucks, all hauling several truck loads behind them. On the back of the last truck was always the sign Vehiculo Longo. We came out of a gas station behind one of those. My father nonchalantly noted, “That guy Longo owns a lot of trucks.” I was laughing so hard I could barely drive and my mother, in the back seat, was doubled over in laughter.

My father wasn’t at all handy around the house. Putting up outside lights once, he gave himself a shock which knocked him off his step-ladder. He once sawed himself out of a tree by sitting on the wrong end of the limb. The bookcase he built in the cellar had two shelves, one on the floor and the other too high to use. He said it was lack of wood. When painting the house once, the ladder started to slide, but he stayed on his rung anyway with brush in hand. The stroke of the paint on the house followed the path of his fall. Lots of times he set his shoe or pant leg on fire when he was barbecuing. He was a big believer in lots of charcoal lighter fluid.

My father loved games, mostly cards. We played cribbage all the time, and I loved making fun of  his loses, especially if I skunked him. When he won, it was superb playing. When I won, it was luck. I remember so many nights of all of us crowded the kitchen table playing cards, especially hi-lo jack. He loved to win and we loved lording it over him when he lost.

My father was a most successful businessman. He was hired to turn a company around and he did. He was personable and funny and remembered everyone’s names. Nobody turned him down.

My father always went out Sunday mornings for the paper and for donuts. He never remembered what kind of donut I like. His favorite was plain. He’d make Sunday breakfast when I visited: bacon, eggs and toast. I can still see him standing over the stove with a dish towel over his shoulders. He always put me in charge of the toast.

If I ever needed anything, I knew I could call my father. He was generous. When we went out to eat, he always wanted to pay and was indignant when we one upped him by setting it up ahead of time that one of us paid. One Christmas he gave us all $500.00, not as a gift but to buy gifts.

My father left us when he was far too young. It was sudden. He had a heart attack. I had spoken with him just the day before. It was pouring that day, and I told him how my dog Shauna was soaked. He loved that dog and told me to wipe his baby off. I still remember that whole conversation.

“You have to jump into disaster with both feet.”

June 15, 2013

Wow, the day is a delight. The sun is warm and bright, and the temperature will be in the 70’s. I went outside earlier and actually repotted a plant. The sun must have stripped away the lethargy the rain had brought. My grass is lush and green. The front garden is beautiful. If I were given one day to create, it would be much like today.

I have a couple of things I need to pick up at the store and one load of wash to do, but that’s it for my entire list of Saturday chores. I’ve already made my bed and emptied the cat litter. I think one of the pod people has inhabited my body. Never am I so productive this early in the morning.

I heard a faint beep and didn’t know if it was inside or outside. I walked to the back door to check. Gracie was standing on the deck and she was baying with her head in the air and her mouth opened the same way her cousins the wolves bay at the moon. Somewhere an auto alarm was one continuous beep, and it bothered poor Miss Gracie. I hadn’t ever seen her bay before this. When the noise finally stopped, so did Gracie.

My outside shower needs some care and tending. It seems the spawns had used the front part as some sort of shelter. Stripped pine cones are piled on the floor. The spiders live in the back where the shower head is. Webs are across from one side of the shower stall to the other. The spiders were quite creative though none reached the heights Charlotte did.

A column in the Cape Times the other day gave me a chuckle. It was about the blue Evacuation Route signs which have been erected directing people to the Mid-Cape Highway. Putting them up was a mandate tied to highway funds; however, they’re silly when it comes to Cape Cod. Perhaps the tourists will flood the roads in their haste to leave, but the rest of us know better. If there is a hurricane with heavy winds, the bridges are always closed. That means no getting off Cape unless by water, but a hurricane would make that impossible and deadly. In Plymouth is the Pilgrim Nuclear Generating Station, the only nuclear power plant operating in the state. If there is an accident there and evacuation is necessary, the route off Cape would take us right into the accident zone. People with boats could escape by water. I’d have to swim. 

“Never run in the rain with your socks on.”

June 14, 2013

Mother Nature seems to have forgotten we’re close to the middle of June. It is 57˚. My house is cold enough that I’m wearing socks and a sweatshirt. The sky is gray and the wind is blowing. It poured rain all night into this morning. Sun is predicted tomorrow so I’ll just have to be patient with today.

I’m late as I met friends for breakfast. We get together once a month. All of us worked at the high school together and we all retired with a few years of each other. This morning there were 11 of us.

When I was growing up, nobody I knew skied or golfed. Those were sports for people with money. Miniature golf was the closest we ever got. I did go to the private golf course in my town but only in winter with my sled or my toboggan. I never even learned to water ski despite living by the ocean. My father only had a row-boat.

Only once did I ever go snow skiing. It was in Colorado when I was visiting my sister and brother-in-law. I got off the lift easily without falling, but as I went down the hill, I started speeding so fast and out of control I got afraid and threw myself to the ground just before I ended up in the trees. It took forever for me to get up and get the skis back on my feet. One or the other ski would slide down the hill by itself. A passing skier would be kind enough to retrieve them for me. One was a little kid about nine. My descent after that was tentative at best, and I still nearly ended up in the parking lot. I had trouble stopping. My brother-in-law, a skier, asked my sister and me if we minded him skiing a bit. Nope. We loved sitting in the lodge and having hot drinks. That is still my favorite part of skiing.

“Wanderlust is incurable.”

June 13, 2013

Yesterday it rained in Hyannis. At the same time, the sun was shining when I got to West Yarmouth a bit down the road. The paper says rain again today, and we already have a sky filled with clouds. The day is also damp and has a bit of a chill. I’m going out for a few errands later. I have a list.

My usual quiet has been broken, The house next door is being reshingled, and all I can hear is the nail gun and its tap, tap, tap, tap, always four taps in a row. One guy is doing the whole job. It took him two days to do the small side of the house, the one nearest my house. Now he’s working on the back of the house.

When I taught, I traveled every summer. I’d be gone five or six weeks. I usually did Europe though I did have that one South American summer. I always had my backpack, my Go Europe guide-book and my Eurail pass. I never packed too many clothes: a couple of pairs of pants, a few shirts, underwear and a light jacket. I had my flashlight and my Swiss army knife with all the doo-dads. That was all I needed. I always traveled with a friend, and our only planning was deciding which countries to visit. We grouped them. One summer it was England, Scotland and Ireland. Another summer it was Denmark, Finland, Russia and England. You’re probably wondering about England in that grouping, but we always tried to spend at least a few days in London before we went home. Spain and Portugal were an obvious duo.

When I became an administrator, I had to work summers so I traveled April vacation but to only one country. I had become a suitcase traveler by then, but I still brought my Swiss army knife and a guide-book: still no plans ahead except the country and a rental car. I’d have a vague idea what I wanted to see, but I was always open to any adventure. Sometimes we’d see a sign with an arrow pointing to a side road and an attraction and we’d follow that arrow. We were seldom disappointed. Most times we had no reservations but still found great places to stay. I remember a farm in Belgium and a really old house in Ireland. Its steps going upstairs were bowed.

I’m not traveling this year. Two trips to Ghana have depleted my resources so I have to start saving again. A one year hiatus is about as long as my wanderlust will handle. Pinching pennies here I come!

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”

June 11, 2013

Another early morning for me-this is a habit I have to break. I was up at 7, read the papers, even did the crossword and the cryptogram, then left for my library board meeting at nine. I just got home.

Last night it poured again. The world is green and lush but damp and chilly at only 64˚. It is supposed to rain again today. I have to go out later to do three errands but not until the afternoon. Yesterday I did my laundry, all three loads of it. The hall is now clear. I even took the clean laundry out of the dryer and put it away. Usually it sits there a while. I don’t know where all this industry is springing from, but I’ve had enough.

My landscaper and I discussed the flowers he forgot to plant last week. I was able to grab him for the chat as I up and about so early. He promises tomorrow he’ll plant and then mulch. I reminded him that last week he also promised Wednesday. He laughed. Sebastian keeps telling me he wants to take down the two pine trees and the two wild roses in the front yard. I keep saying no.

It has been a long time since I last cooked a fancy dinner, and I’m thinking it’s about time for another. I’ll have to do my flow chart such that I cook over a couple of days so my back will be okay. No big dinner of mine ever gets done without a flow chart. It always starts with the recipes in order: appetizers, meat, side dishes and dessert. Beside each dish is where the recipe can be found. I then make a list of the ingredients by category like fruits, veggies, frozen, meat and assorted to make shopping easier. The flow chart also lists the steps for each day and on the day of the dinner for each hour.. Some things I can cook ahead a few steps but not finish until the big day. After the dinner time is set, my flow chart works around that time so all the food is ready and on the table together. The need for a flow chart grew out of past bad experiences when the dishes were ready at all different times and some dishes, especially salads, were left in the fridge and never served. My flow chart and I get made fun of by my guests. Taunting the hand that feeds you is never a good idea.

“Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don’t touch me—oh, god!”

June 10, 2013

The morning has been a busy one already. I woke so early I was able to read both papers, do another load of laundry, make my bed and go out for breakfast. When I got home, I found, to my dismay, my tranquility had disappeared and been replaced by the sounds of workmen next door who are taking down the old shingles. Hammering on the new will be next. The house certainly did need a face life. Nothing has been done to it since it was built. The house is a summer rental, and upkeep is not a priority. I would love to see the inside as I’m thinking retro 70’s.

A summer ritual will be performed today. I’m replacing the storm door in the back with the screen door. The day is already hot and hazy and a little cross air would cool the house. That door faces the south, and, in the summer, that’s the direction from which all my breezes come.

I already feel accomplished today and don’t think I’ll do much else. I have a new book to read, and it’s been a while since I just sat  and read all day. I’m thinking lounging on the couch might work perfectly.

A long while back I bought Converse high top sneakers in a variety of colors. I know I have pink and purple pairs. It might just be time to start wearing them again. I have reached that age when wearing whatever I want will cause no stir. People will look, see that I am older and just accept what I’m wearing as the vagaries of older age. I think it’s a perk. Most times I don’t go anywhere which requires a certain dress. Putting on a blouse or a shirt is dressing up for me. I spent too many years in dresses, panty hose and fancy but sensible shoes. Now I want comfort, just comfort.

I have so many t-shirts. Some are souvenirs my friends brought back or I bought on one of my adventures. Some are TV shows like M.A.S.H. and Hill Street Blues. A few are music groups, and I even have a Pete Seeger. Some others are ads and were free t-shirts. I have two favorites. One says, “Let’s eat grandma! Let’s eat, grandma. Punctuation saves lives.” The other has to do with the spawns. It says, “I have reason to believe the squirrels are mocking me.” Truer words were never written!

“I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June.”

June 9, 2013

If I were asked to create a morning, it would be today’s. The sun is bright and sharp. The green of the leaves and the colors of the flowers pop in the light. The breeze is just right.

For some strange reason, I feel energetic today so I’m going to finish the flower planting and actually do laundry. Yup, it’s still sitting in the hall, and I swear I saw a cobweb or two when I walked by the bundle this morning.

In the front garden of my house are wild rose bushes. They are so very Cape Cod that you can see them everywhere especially along the roadside. They only bloom once, and they are now in bloom. Mine needs badly to be trimmed, but we’re waiting until after the blooming. When I walked by the bush this morning, I could hear the buzz of bees so I took a wide berth. The buzzing was loud enough to hear from the driveway. I walked over to get a closer, but not too close, a look and I think there was a bee at every flower.

The summer world is so alive. I sit and watch all the different birds at the feeders. Two of the feeders, however, are empty as I still have to put out the oranges and the jelly for the Baltimore orioles. I haven’t seen any of them yet but that might be because I have nothing to tempt them. I also have hummingbird feeders needing cleaning and filling.

When I sit outside, I love having the birds zoom over my head on their way to the sunflower feeders. My being there doesn’t bother them at all. The rabbits are lively now and still taunting Gracie. They sit on the other side of the fence and stare. Gracie goes crazy barking and trying to find a way over or through the fence. The spawns in the yard are also Gracie targets, but they have scurrying up the trees for protection. Gracie stands below and stares as the spawn jumps from bush to bush. I’m betting it’s smiling, scoffing at poor Miss Gracie.  Spawns are like that.

“The trouble with, “A place for everything and everything in its place” is that there’s always more everything than places.”

June 8, 2013

When the rain came yesterday, it arrived with a vengeance and poured all afternoon and evening. I left my window open here in the den so I could hear the heavy drops hitting the deck and trees. The wind was so strong it blew one of my huge umbrellas over, but I was lucky, though, as it missed 4 lanterns attached to the deck rail and three clay pots. My deck is again filled with debris, small branches and leaves, but I’m leaving the cleaning until the deck is dry.

Saturday is usually a busy day on my street, but it is still and quiet outside: no lawnmowers, no kids playing and no dogs barking, a rarity on any day. I went out yesterday to Hyannis and early last evening to dinner with my friend so I have not been housebound, but I feel it anyway. I think the clouds and the rain close in after a while.

Today I have no plans, nothing on my dance card. I might just do laundry; it’s been sitting in the hall for a few days. A while back that would have driven me crazy, and I would have had it finished the same day I brought it downstairs. That was when I still worked. My days had structure back then; they had to so I could get everything done. Now I do my chores whenever the spirit moves me. The laundry doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ll get to it sometime.

I have this cabinet, the one with all the pots and pans, assorted dishes for special occasions, small appliances, bowls and some Tupperware, and I think way in the back of it, in the corner, is a mouse nest. I know the mice are all gone, but I know the nest is still there. Before I started the Great Mouse War, I found gnawed paper towels, a perfect nesting material, soft and comfy. I keep saying I’m going to clean that cabinet, but I have this vision of starting the project, getting too tired to finish and leaving the kitchen floored covered with whatnots from that cabinet. A while back I did clean it, and the cabinet looked great, but right now it’s filled. I don’t even remember what is in the way back. I’m thinking Skip, my factotum, might be just the guy for this project.

“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

June 7, 2013

The morning is chilly, drab and damp. I’m wearing a sweatshirt and thinking about socks as my feet are cold. I should have known the weather would turn as soon as I took the comforter off my bed. This weather will be hanging around through the weekend so I might as well pull out the comforter and put it back on the bed. I had such high hopes when I stored it. Yesterday I got outside as far as the deck. I made my bed, my sole accomplishment of the day, and went through cooking magazines and cut out recipes. I also browsed catalogues and dog-eared a few pages which had items I’d like to buy. It was a good day.

When I was a kid, around this time in June, we’d have final exams then we’d spend the next few days cleaning out our desks and packing away the classroom. It was always the best time of the year. We could chat all we wanted, and we did no schoolwork. Learning had ended. Our last day of school was always a half day. It was the day we got our report cards. The nun would call us to her desk one by one. None of us looked at the cards until we got back to our desks where we always looked on the back first. The bottom of the back was where it said Promoted To. We didn’t care about grades or deportment. We just wanted the next number in succession. I remember running home that last day with a few papers and my report card in hand. I’d yell to my mother I got promoted. That always seemed the most important part.

My sister who is five years younger than I wasn’t all that keen on being in school. She’d ask to go to the bathroom or the cloak room then go straight out the door and walk home. My other sister, too young for school, would tell my mother, “Sheila’s coming up the hill.” My mother couldn’t drive in those days so she walked Sheila back to school with my youngest sister in tow. The next time it happened I got sent to get her. I never minded. It meant I could leave school, take a casual walk home then walk back to school with Sheila. The nuns figured out the answer to Sheila’s escapes: they sent a guard with her whenever she left the room. That put an end to her walks home and my freedom even if was a little while.