Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“Every gift which is given, even though is be small, is in reality great, if it is given with affection.”

December 16, 2013

Today is sunny, windy and cold. The sun is muted, almost hazy. The pine branches sway a bit in the breeze. The day will keep getting colder so tonight will be a down comforter, stay warm night. It is a winter day at its best.

My back is better: less painful, mostly stiff. The lazy day I had yesterday was the perfect elixir. I have a few things to do today but nothing strenuous. I really need to decorate those trees. They are small so they won’t take too long. That will be my afternoon project.

My uptown had both a Grants and a Woolworths when I was a kid. Grant’s seemed to draw old ladies who spent time in the notions and cloth departments. The Woolworth’s Five and Dime was my favorite and the best of all stores. It had a bit of magic about it because you could find almost anything. It was where I Christmas shopped every year around this time. I needed five presents which had to total a dollar, a huge amount of money in those days. I walked up and down the aisles looking for those perfect gifts. My father was first as he was always the easiest: white handkerchiefs. He used them all the time, and I gave him new ones every Christmas the whole of his life. He was never a Kleenex guy. I sometimes bought my mother perfume in small decorated glass spray bottles, the ones with that little pump ball you pressed to make the spray work. Other times I’d buy a small sewing kit which had a few buttons just in case. Once in a while I’d buy her a pocketbook to read. I’d be drawn by the cover. Once I’d finished with my parents, it was on to my sisters and brother. They were really easy. Woolworth’s had a great toy section. The counter had wooden divides, and the toys, at eye level, were inexpensive. A balsa wood plane was for my brother. We all knew from experience that they flew best outside. If you flew them in the house, the tail section usually broke when the plane hit something. I remember how the wing slid into the plane’s body, and that had to be done gently. For my sisters, I had so many choices. There were plastic baby bottles for dolls. They had pretend milk which seemed to disappear as you feed your doll. Small plastic dolls were another choice. Their drawback was they dented, especially the faces, and once dented, they stayed that way. There were plastic balls, jacks and jewelry, mostly bracelets. I always got my sisters the same thing. It made it easier that way.

When I got home with my treasures, I’d wrap them behind the closed-door of my room. I think back then I used miles of scotch tape, but I always thought the gifts looked beautiful. I’d finish then go downstairs and ceremoniously place them under the tree. I’d move them about until the scene was perfect to my eye. I was always so proud of those gifts.

“I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a school-boy. I am as giddy as a drunken man.”

December 15, 2013

North of me is the winter wonderland. My sister, outside of Boston, got either 10 or 11 inches of snow. We got torrential rain all night. I could hear it on the roof. I have no idea why but heavy rain triggers the sensor lights in the backyard, the ones geared for Gracie, to go on. They stay on until the morning light triggers them to turn off. This is the second time it has happened. The first time I thought some giant animal had burrowed into the yard, but after 15 minutes, when the lights didn’t go out, I figured it was either a very patient animal casing the yard for dinner or some weird problem with the lights.

My errands yesterday were fruitful. I found two small trees, one smaller than the other but both perfect. They are now standing in the corner of the living room waiting to be decorated, but my back is bad so that may not happen until tomorrow, but I don’t mind the wait. The trees are lovely even without the lights and decorations.

I am not traveling north to see the play. My sister said it is miserable up there, really cold and dark, and when you add my back to the mix, staying home sounds like the better choice. I’ll watch Christmas movies and drink egg nog. I just watched Reginald Owen’s A Christmas Carol and now I’m watching the Muppets get their chance at Scrooge’s rehabilitation. It doesn’t matter how many times I see this movie I love it every time.

Christmas still has wonder no matter how old you are. I love the lights on my house, and I drive by the house sometimes just to look and to admire the view. I’m sure my neighbors, should they catch me, might think it strange. If I’m on the road and a house covered in lights catches my attention, I deviate my route just to see it. On my official light tour, I stop at Dunkin’ Donuts first for hot cocoa. Christmas music now plays the whole time I’m in the car. I sing along. I sit on the couch in the living room to read so I won’t miss a single minute of the tree. The season is short enough as it is. My two sisters always have live trees. I think it is built into our genetic code. They fill their houses with Christmas just as I do and my mother did. I remember she’d come down for the weekend, and we’d go shopping. She’d buy an ornament and say, “That’s it, no more ornaments. I have enough for several trees.” Well, she always bought more and always declared it the last. I have a couple of new ones this year. One is the official 2013 World Series ornament. The other is a sand dollar made from pottery.

It’s egg nog time!

“All new news is old news happening to new people”

December 14, 2013

Cold, of course it is. This is winter. This is New England. It should be cold. Snow is predicted starting tonight into tomorrow but, alas, it will turn to rain here on the coast.

When I went to the driveway for my papers this morning, I noticed the tiniest of flakes starting to fall but they disappeared in a heart beat. I think it was a dress rehearsal. My to-do list is getting smaller, but I’m in trouble. I can’t find my date-nut bread pan, a special pan  handed down from the 1940’s. I went through the cabinet, and the pan just wasn’t there. I can think of no other places I would have put it. Later I’ll go through that cabinet one more time. There was, however, a bright spot. In the looking, I did find the new Christmas dishes I bought on sale last year. I had no idea where they were.

The Cape Cod Times was filled with strange tidbits of information this morning. On the page called The Log there was the story of an attempted robbery. The man demanded the ATM money the woman had just gotten. She told him no, and he took off, fled the scene. Here is his description: mid to late 30’s, average height and slim build, a description which narrows the search considerably. I’m thinking it might be my neighbor. The security footage shows him with tape on his mouth. What the heck is that? The last paragraph said compensation will be provided for information leading to an arrest. Compensation? Someone got a new thesaurus.

We had a pick-up truck end up inside an unoccupied house, the whole pick-up truck, a 2007 Toyota Tundra. The house was badly damaged, but the driver was just fine. He declined to be taken to the hospital. The incident remains under investigation. I figure that’s a good thing.

Do not carry armed sock monkeys dressed as cowboys onto a plane. TSA remarked that realistic replicas of firearms are prohibited. Come to find out there is a weapon as small as the sock monkey’s. It is 2.2 inches long, 1 centimeter wide, weighs less than an ounce and can hit a target roughly 525 feet away. Who knows what damage that may have done in the hands of a crazed sock monkey?

I have two errands today, including buying my Christmas tree. I’m pretty excited. My house will soon be filled with the smell of fresh pine. I’ll sit in the living room and just look at the tree. I can never get enough. Is there anything more beautiful at Christmas?

“I run this town. Mostly I run errands. ”

December 13, 2013

A Review of Yesterday 

People only saw a swift glimpse of red speeding up and down cape highways. One woman thought she saw a dog in the backseat but she couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t even sure she saw a car. The witnesses could only agree it was a red flash going at a speed difficult to calculate. Fearful cries rang out and 911 was inundated so to halt this growing fear I am admitting to you here and now it was my car driven by me with Gracie as the pit crew. It went from South Dennis as far as Orleans with stops in between. I had a list. It started with the dump, the coldest spot in town with winds raging across the open field. I think I saw a wizened old lady borne aloft by the wind. She didn’t wave. The next stop was almost as windy. At the parking lot in the shopping center, people were holding on to door handles hoping to stay on the ground. I made it safely to stop two: the sports store for stocking stuffers. Stop three, the hardware store, was protected by trees so my life was not in peril. Batteries are the bane of Christmas toys. I needed six AAA. They came in a package of four or eight. Of course, they did. The bank was a quick stop. I got all crisp bills for gifts to nieces and nephews and grubby bills for myself. Gracie got a dog biscuit. It was her favorite stop. We then flew down 6A to Brewster and the book store. It is a dangerous place. I wanted books for my two grand nephews and nothing else. I left with a filled shopping bag. No comments please. I have a defense. I found some neat stuff like small clasped sock-like bags, the kind Scrooge McDuck kept his money in, to hold those crisp bills. I bought myself a book, some special Christmas cards and a couple of stocking stuffers. It was a great stop. From there I had to go all the way across the cape to the speciality gourmet shop for crackers, the kind you eat not the kind you open at dinner. I, of course, didn’t just buy crackers. I bought a fig spread for cheese and a paring knife. The lady and I chatted. She is getting a puppy today and she showed me pictures. The puppy’s name is going to be Gracie, and that started more conversation. I left there and went to my final stop, Ring Brothers, which is an occasion of sin for me. I bought so many things I had to make two runs from the car to the house. I also bought lunch: two pieces of pizza. It was, by this time, close to 2:30. One of the things I bought, which was not on my list, was egg nog, a new kind for me. It comes in a glass bottle. I thought that was pretty cool, but it was also pretty heavy when you add a 6 pack of winter ale (for guests as I am not a beer drinker) and a bottle of champagne for those Christmas mimosas. Those I’ll drink. I crossed off the last items on my lists, which were actually orange juice and bread, and went home.

I ate lunch and them took a nap. I deserved it.

“When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things – not the great occasions – give off the greatest glow of happiness.”

December 12, 2013

This Christmas elf is getting a bit nervous. Usually I am far ahead of where I am now so my to-do lists through this weekend are long. Today’s list is loaded with six stops as varied as a book store and the dump. But if all goes well, next week will be relaxed. I’ll sit, watch Christmas movies, sip egg nog, loaded egg nog my favorite, and admire my house. I’ll do some baking and some candy making and the last of the wrapping, gifts for friends I won’t see until after Christmas. I’m looking forward to that egg nog most of all.

My sister Moe has a most unusual Christmas talent. She started practicing it when she was young. Moe used to make the smallest hole in every present under the tree so she could see what the present was. The holes were so well placed you really had to hunt to find them. Moe didn’t discriminate. She did it to every present, hers or not. As Moe got older, she honed her talent. She just had to hold the gift, give it a squeeze or two and she knew exactly what it was. Boxes were no deterrent. She moved them back and forth and up and down and then announced what was inside the box. We tried to trick her by putting small things in huge boxes, by wrapping the gifts inside the boxes in cloth and by putting box in box, but Moe beat us every time. One Christmas Eve she was going to a party and told Rod, her husband, she needed new earrings to go with her dress. Moe went right to the boxes under her tree, shook a couple and chose one. In it was a pair of new earrings. They had been hidden, box in box, but not from Moe. I am in awe of her talent.

Every year we could always count on a few traditional stocking stuffers. We always got a bag of Chanukah gelt. My mother bought it by mistake one year, and after that we expected it, and she obliged. I always buy some now for my two sisters. This year, Nancy, at the candy store pointed out I was buying gelt, and I told her that was exactly what I wanted. My sister Moe gets her Life Saver book. Sheila gets her Star Trek calendar, original crew.

My Dad loved thin ribbon candy. That first Christmas without him none of us were too much in the spirit, but after Moe opened her ribbon candy, she called to say it had brought back Christmas and, best of all, had brought back my Dad. Ribbon candy is always first gift I buy.

“Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!”

December 10, 2013

It was the sleep of the dead. I might as well have been in a sarcophagus. I woke up at 8 as I had a meeting at 9, got a call making sure I knew of the meeting and ended up not going. I was just so tired I went back to bed and woke up at noon to a winter wonderland, well not quite a wonderland but it is snowing. The snowflakes are huge and wet so I doubt the storm has much staying power. I was going to get my tree today, but I’ll wait for a drier day. I will do some decorating later and tonight some wrapping. It’s time for Christmas at my house.

When I was around three Santa came to our house. I remember peeking out at him from my parent’s bedroom. He was sitting on the couch waiting for me. I walked over, sat on his lap and told him what I wanted for Christmas. My brother, a year younger than I, was too afraid and never left the bedroom. I have a picture of me with Santa from that day. My face is filled with wonder, and I am staring open-mouthed at Santa right there in my own house.

When my nephew was young, I sent my sister a Christmas report card for him. It had all sorts of good little boy and good little girl behaviors like puts toys away, eats vegetables, listens, goes to bed when asked-all the stuff kids usually balk at doing. There was a column next to each behavior where a gold or black star was placed. On Christmas Eve, the report card was to be left under the tree for Santa so he would know how good a boy my nephew had been. Ryan, my nephew, took that card to heart. If he was bad, my sister would put up a black star, and Ryan would cry and swear to be good if she’d just take the star off. She usually gave him an ultimatum he had to follow if he wanted the star removed. He usually did and the black star was no more. Santa always had such power for goodness during Christmas.

“In the morning I woke like a sloth in the fog.”

December 9, 2013

I am going back to bed for a bit hoping to shake this malaise. My heat is cranking, but I am still cold, never a good sign. We went out for breakfast today, but we should have stayed home in bed warm and cozy under the comforter. It is raining: a cold, heavy rain. This morning the ground had an inch or two of slush. I didn’t leave footprints on the lawn when I got the papers but I left a trail which filled with water as soon as I took another step. The day has little to commend it. The best I can say is it isn’t snow. 

On my way to breakfast I noticed cars on the side streets still running and filled with parents and kids. They were waiting for the school bus. Not a single little kid waited in the rain. I would have had no choice but to walk to school. Most of us always did. On days like today we’d hurry to school not drawn by the idea of learning but by the warmth of the schoolroom and the hopes of getting dry. We’d hang up our coats then walk into class with red cheeks and runny noses from the cold. I don’t remember math or any other subjects on those sorts of days. I just remember the lights being on and the rain hitting the windows. 

My house is dark except for the laptop’s monitor. I can hear the rain. It is heavier than it has been all morning. The temperature is too warm for snow so it will stay rainy all day into tomorrow. I’m content to be inside. I have cards to write, laundry to do and books to read.

I am tending toward a sloth day being, as I am, out of sorts so I’m going to finish now so I can change into my cozy flannels, my slippers and my sweatshirt, the accepted uniform for a winter sloth. 

“Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.”

December 8, 2013

The sun is among the missing again. It is a bit colder than it has been, down to 34˚. I guess the big chill is headed this way so we need to brace ourselves. I can already feel the breeze from the dog door so the back door will have to stay shut. Gracie won’t mind as she doesn’t like being out in the cold too long. She hasn’t a lot of fur. She prefers lying on the couch on her afghan while the heat blasts keeping all of us warm. Nothing dumb about dogs!

I am slow to start this year. Usually my house is already beginning to look a lot like Christmas. My sisters have their trees up and one sister is just about done decorating while the other is well along. I’ll start this week and do a bit each day. My back better hold up for the duration. I love when the house is filled with Christmas.

When I was a kid, our decorations were a bit worse for wear. Many of them were cardboard Santas and snowmen we always put on the windows near the stenciled white snowflakes. Many ornaments were plastic though the best of them was glass. I have several of the small glass ornaments as my mother gave each of us a bag of them for our trees. They take the longest to hang as I hold each one for a while and let the memories of those long ago Christmas seasons wash over me.

Our trees were never showcases. There were bare spots where there should have been more branches. We used to put Christmas cards inside near the trunk in the spaces. I also remember a Coca-Cola Santa who had a prime spot in the middle. The tinsel was silver and my mother always put it on the tree. She was into draping it from branch to branch. The icicles were the old lead ones which hung so well from their own weight. They never stuck to our clothes the way the new ones do. My mother was right. The icicles always looked better hung individually than flung on in piles, our method for putting them on the tree.

I think we always had the prettiest, most colorful trees. Bare spots went unnoticed. We just saw the lights, the ornaments and the icicles hanging off branches and shimmering with reflective colors. My mother would put a few wrapped presents under the tree. We aways knew they were the pajamas.

We could hardly wait until it got dark. We’d run and turn the bulbs on in the orange window candle lights, and one of us would turn on the outside lights then we’d plug in the tree. Every night we were in awe when the lights came on because the tree was magnificent.

“Once the rain starts falling it’s hard to tell it to stop…”

December 7, 2013

This morning you needed a mirror to see if I was still breathing as I slept in until quite late. I must have needed it. When I woke up, I had the edge of the bed while Gracie had the rest of it. She seemed comfortable.

The yard lights didn’t go out last night. They are on a sensor keyed to Gracie and are supposed to turn off after 15 minutes. The heavy rain must have done something. The Christmas lights worked just fine but the yard was lit up all night long. I hoped the light of day would cause them to go out: I was right. It did. I hate having to call an electrician or a plumber.

The churches here still have Christmas fairs. I try to go to a couple every year. I love the white elephant tables as I usually find some kitchen item I can’t imagine I did without. The knitted mittens, slippers and scarfs are for stocking stuffers. Every table is manned by an old lady, which means older than I old lady. They sit behind the tables and chat and call you dear when you buy something. I always end up with an assortment of bags with lots of handmade stuff including jams and jellies and crocheted snowflakes. The old ladies always look the same and most wear an apron. I always wonder if they have old lady substitutes on deck waiting their turn at the tables. If this were a Twilight Zone episode, the ladies would all be robots, and at the end, Rod Serling would come out with some bit of wisdom.

It’s another one of those dreary, dark days. It poured last night and rain is expected today and the next few days. My sister in Colorado has snow and single digit temperatures. She played the glad game I mentioned yesterday and said how lovely the Christmas lights look in the snow. She can have the lovely lights and the snow. I’ll take wet and dreary.

Gracie dug the best hole in my vegetable garden this morning. The fence is down so she wandered in with a preserved body part in her mouth, a beef intestine I think, hard to know. She dug the hole then put her goody in the ground. She used her nose to move the dirt over it. She’ll go out later, dig it up and bring it inside. It was be disgusting looking.

“Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished.”

December 6, 2013

The phone woke me up close to eleven. I just let it ring. It was a telemarketer who left no message, an assumption on my part but I think I’m right. I heard it all, including the click of the receiver, as I didn’t even bother to move to answer the phone. (I’m going to complain a bit here so skip down to line 9 if you want to miss the groaning.) My back is horrific every morning. I wake up, crawl my way to the edge of the bed and wait until the stiffness goes away. Mornings bring the worst of the pain. I wait, patient and still, until I can move without the neighbors hearing me scream. Gracie looks up, sees me sitting, decides all is well and lies right back down on the bed. Fern meows, turns on her back and expects scratches and pats: so much for their sympathy. Meanwhile, I am Igor working my way to the bathroom. As I move around, my back starts to feel better but the pain stays all day, just a bit abated. Monday I’ll give the doctor a call though I’m not sure which one-I guess the surgeon. I call them my stable of doctors.

(Line 9 for those skippers among you) Today is another rainy, dreary day, but I don’t mind a day like today in winter. Summer, though, is far different. I always think I’ve been cheated if a summer day isn’t perfect, but my standards are much lower for winter when a day can be anything. If I assumed for a moment the guise of Pollyanna and played her Glad Game, I’d say, “I’m glad it’s raining. At least it’s not snowing.” That almost makes me gag. I think I’m long past my Pollyanna days.

When I was sixteen, my family dragged me to Maine for a few days. We were at a friend’s cottage. One of the neighbors came in to say hello. She was from South Africa. I was intrigued and a bit jealous and told her Africa was one of the places I’d most like to visit. She asked if I was talking about colored Africa. Seriously, I missed entirely what she meant. It wasn’t naivety. It was just I hadn’t ever heard that term before. Into my head popped green tropical forests, cloths of patterns and colors and fruit: yellow, red, green fruit. I told her yes. She explained that my life would be in danger, and I would be a target, a white target. I started to argue because I then understood what she meant by colored Africa. My mother put a stop to my rantings and shooed me outside.

When I was in Ghana, we were told we could anywhere except South Africa. No one needed to explain why. South Africa was apartheid, and Peace Corps espouses the opposite. In all its literature, Peace Corps calls the commitment a cross-cultural experience, but it is so much more. For most of us, Ghana became home. We absorbed all we could and became part of the whole landscape of Ghana: its customs and its people, the wonderful colored people of Ghana.

Nelson Mandela guided South Africa from apartheid to multi-racial democracy. He served 27 years in prison and turned this imprisonment into a tool to create political change and national liberty. In 1993, Mandela and President de Klerk were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their work toward dismantling apartheid.

Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as the country’s first black president on May 10, 1994, at the age of 77, with de Klerk as his first deputy.

On December 5, 2013, at the age of 95, Nelson Mandela died at his home in Johannesburg, South Africa. President Zuma released a statement later that day, in which he spoke to Mandela’s legacy: “Wherever we are in the country, wherever we are in the world, let us reaffirm his vision of a society … in which none is exploited, oppressed or dispossessed by another.”