Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“Don’t allow your life to become just a dead ritual. Let there be moments, unexplainable.”

April 24, 2017

The house was cold when I woke up. I needed my sweatshirt so I had to dump poor Maddie off. She had slept on it last night. Gracie and I went to get the papers. It was warmer outside than the house. I wanted to cheer. It’s a sign of spring.

When I was a kid, my dog was named Duke. He was a boxer, a fawn boxer. In those days there was no leash law. Duke was a wanderer. Some mornings he’d follow us to school. My father would see him, call him and then go crazy when Duke ignored him so my father would hop in the car and go get him. Duke used to visit my aunt and get Sam to go play with him. Sam was his son. My favorite Duke story is when he followed my grandmother uptown. She wasn’t a dog lover. To try and get away, my grandmother went into Woolworth’s. Duke followed. Once inside, he lifted his leg on the comic book carousel. My grandmother was asked if he were her dog. She said no which was technically true. She left quickly. Duke, not her dog, followed right behind her.

I am not a lover of daily rituals yet I have a few. I take Gracie into the yard first. I start my coffee. While it is perking, I feed the cat, fill the water bowl and, after she comes inside, I give Gracie her treats. I drink a cup of coffee with each of the two papers. I thoroughly read each paper though I admit I only read baseball news on the sports pages and articles which catch my attention in the business section. I check my e-mail then hope for divine inspiration when I open WordPress. I have been writing Coffee for 12 years. Divine inspiration is all I have left after all this time.

The rest of the day is open. When I worked, I went to the dump on Sundays. Now I usually go on Thursdays, a quiet day at the dump, but any day will do. If I have any errands, I make a list and do them all in one day in geographic order hopping from village to village. Sometimes I get that favorite sandwich of mine at Buckies in Dennisport. I consider it a reward for doing all those errands.

When I get home, I put on my comfy clothes. The rest of the afternoon is for reading, maybe napping, doing chores like the laundry and if something is going on, watching the news on MSNBC. I check Facebook.

Dinner is whatever I have on hand which is sometimes as simple as an egg sandwich or cheese and crackers.

I go to bed, actually on the couch, whenever I’m tired. I seldom go early. Gracie sprawls at one end. I try to get comfortable around her.

That’s it. That is sort of my day every day.

 

“Food is the most primitive form of comfort.”

April 23, 2017

Weather is so relative that today’s 57˚ feels warm and springlike, a sit on the deck in the sun sort of day. I might even need sunglasses.

My sister in Colorado and I had our usual Sunday phone call. Today we found two hours worth of conversation ranging from potty training to Trump.

When I was a kid, I never spent much time on the phone. I remember the party line and Mrs. McGaffigan who shared the line. Sometimes I’d pick up the receiver and hear her voice and listen to her conversation: I’d eavesdrop. She caught me several times. I never said a word when she did. I just put the receiver down. My phone number started with ST 6. I used to love the sound of the rotary dial when it clicked back after I entered a number. The phone was black. I think all the phones back then were black.

I miss phone booths. Anytime I passed by one, I’d check the coin return. Once in a while, I’d be lucky enough to find a dime, big money back then. It never seemed strange to me that Clark Kent had room enough to change to Superman in a phone booth. I did wonder what he did with his clothes and why nobody noticed when he was changing. Maybe he was just too quick.

Back then, I didn’t know a single kid who was a skeptic. We accepted most things at face value. The movie monsters were scary. We never saw the strings propelling spacecraft. We accepted the odd looking aliens. We didn’t make fun of movies. We naturally suspended disbelief. I laugh now at those same movies, but I love them still.

Roast beef, gravy, mashed potatoes, and peas are my favorite meal. My mother cooked it for our last family dinner before I left for Peace Corps. She used to put slices of onion on top of the roast, and they were delicious. It is the best of all my comfort meals. I remember my mother peeling potatoes at the sink and my father carving the meat. I still count mashed potatoes and peas among my favorites. I don’t have roast beef all that much anymore. Roast chicken has replaced it and stuffing has been added as a side.

I don’t cook much for myself anymore. I’m into quick and easy, but I’ve found shortcuts for that chicken dinner. I buy rotisserie chicken, real, already mashed potatoes and frozen peas. I call that the modern interpretation of down home comfort food.

“The environment is where we all meet; where all have a mutual interest; it is the one thing all of us share.”

April 22, 2017

At 7:15 a couple of banging sounds at the window woke me up. It was a bird. It flew at the window a couple of times more then I whacked the window with my hand, and the bird flew away. I tried to go back to sleep, but a robo call at 7:45 was the end of my sleeping. Gracie, though, sighed and went back to sleep. Maddie never even woke up.

As for today’s weather, ditto yesterday’s. As for my plans for today, ditto yesterday’s.

I missed the first Earth Day. It happened during my time in Ghana. I read about it when the New York Times Week in Review was sent to me by Peace Corps Ghana. It was their way to keep us connected to what was happening at home. I admit I wasn’t all that interested in Earth Day. My daily life revolved around my students and Bolgatanga, my town, but in retrospect, I realize Ghanaians saved the Earth every day. They repurposed everything. My sandals had soles from old tires. My rice was wrapped in the New York Times compliments of Thomas who worked for me. Tin cans were recycled. My meat from the market was wrapped in leaves. Mammy lorries and buses never left the lorry park until all the seats and even the aisles were full of passengers though that always irritated me, the waiting time.

When I was a kid, we never thought twice about throwing everything in the trash. There were no recycle centers because none of us knew about recycling. The trash was put out on the curb once a week, picked up and willy-nilly thrown into the back of the trash truck. I liked to watch the trash being compacted by the truck. That was my only interest in trash.

My town encourages recycling, and I do my best, but I still feel helpless. So much is way beyond my control. Mr. Trump is not a friend of the Earth. That scares me.

“When I was a kid, we never heard of smog, ozone depletion, acid rain, green house gasses.”

April 21, 2017

The day is overcast and dark. It’s raining again. Rain always makes me lazy. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do except water the plants, and I’m delighted. The house feels chilly so I have draped the afghan over my shoulders. I’m thinking all I need is a rocking chair and some knitting to complete the picture.

When I was a kid, I didn’t care about the rain. I didn’t care about getting wet. This was always spring vacation week and no day could be wasted, especially Friday, the last day. I think my mother applauded when we went outside, and I remember her gleeful goodbyes as we shut the door behind us.

We didn’t ever have a plan or a destination. We just walked. Our usual route was walking by the town barn to see the horses then we’d cut across the back lawn of the town hall and go uptown. We mostly window shopped. From there, our route often varied. Once in a while we’d walk to the zoo or we’d do the tracks again, the ones near my grandparents. When I was young, the train still ran a couple of times a day. The train stopped at the chemical plant then continued to the station, the end of the line, where the engine was switched to the back, now the front. Sometimes we were lucky enough to b there to watch. I remember putting a penny on the rail so the train could flatten it.

We’d head home when we were hungry or really soaked and cold. My mother would send us right down the cellar to take off and leave our wet shoes. I remember leaving footprints on the floor from my wet socks. The trail led from the cellar door to the living room to the stairs to the bedroom where I’d put on dry clothes and dry socks.

For the rest of the afternoon, we’d watch TV. We’d eat Oreos and drink milk. I was a dunker. I think that’s why I love biscotti.

I love listening to the rain and watching it fall. I don’t love getting soaked and cold. I do love Oreos.

“Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.”

April 20, 2017

Sorry for the lateness of today’s musings. Last night Gracie had a bad evening which translated into a bad night for me. She fell asleep at the foot of the couch, and every time she moved I checked on her. She slept through the night. The last time I checked the clock it was 3:30. The next time it was 5:00. I spent the evening watching Netflix and reading. This morning Gracie was just fine. We went to the backyard three or four times. She was happy to be outside and went running into the yard from the gate.

We just got back from buying dog, cat, and me food. Gracie was hungry and just about snorted her dinner. I did the same with my lunch, a barbecue pork wrap. I also bought soup, beef barley and turkey noodle, and a roast beef sandwich for tonight. It was a banner shopping trip.

It poured last night. Even on this floor I could hear the rain pounding the roof. I don’t know when it stopped, but it left a gray, ugly day; however, there was a bright spot. There’s always a bright spot if you pay attention. I saw the sun. Okay, not the sun as it’s so cloudy, but the forsythia are in bloom and bright yellow flowers are everywhere. They almost make me forget the clouds.

I’m going to nap today. Gracie and I will curl up on the couch and be cozy and warm. She is already napping stretched out on the couch beside me.

Sometimes I have a craving for something salty. When I do, I always think of that Star Trek episode when Kirk visits his one-time girlfriend and her husband on some planet. The first murder victim is the red shirt. Everyone knows that on an away mission the red-shirted crewman is doomed. All the salt was sucked from his body. Come to find out, that old girlfriend was really a salt sucking monster. I can sympathize.

Every day new blossoms open in my front garden. When I get the papers, I stop to look at all that beauty. What a wonderful way to start the day.

 

“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”

April 18, 2017

Today is cloudy and chilly. We are back to the 50’s with a high of only 51˚ and a low tonight of 36˚. I have nothing planned for today.

This has been a bad morning for Gracie. She slid on the kitchen floor and fell. I pulled her up by the halter, but she was wild and wide-eyed and it took a bit to settle her down. She panted for quite a while. She is now resting on the couch. I have moved the treads from the indoor stairs and placed them all around the kitchen floor and right in front of the dog food and water. The tiled floors in the kitchen and bathroom are tough for her with the slipping of her back feet so I’m hoping she’ll get used to the treads in both rooms.

I am now permanently sleeping on the couch. It is actually comfortable for both of us. Gracie doesn’t have to worry about the stairs, and she can sprawl at one end. The couch is good for my back, and I get to lie in bed and watch TV. The bathroom is close and so is the kitchen so my immediate needs are easily met. I do this because it is best for Gracie. That is the least I owe her for all the love she gives.

I guess all the anxiety about Gracie has taken its toll on me and left me with a malaise I can’t seem to shake. I hope today is just a bad day not the beginning of everyday.

“What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child?”

April 17, 2017

Yesterday was wonderful. The weather was so hot short sleeves were the order of the day. The restaurant was filled, and there was a line out the door, but our reservations got us seated as soon as we checked in at the desk. Looking out the bank of windows from our table, we could see only the ocean glinting in the sun and tiny whitecaps cresting atop the waves. My friend noted it was like being on a cruise.

The Easter Bunny was good to me. Besides the traditional candy, I got a new coffee mug which held pansies, a great t-shirt with Nevertheless, she persisted on it, spring and Easter hand towels, and a giant package of chocolate sea salt caramels. I admit that last night I ate two Reese’s peanut butter eggs. I could hear them calling my name from the kitchen.

Right now we have 70˚. It will get cooler starting tonight but today needs to be enjoyed. I can see myself sitting on the deck stretched out in the sun maybe reading my book but maybe just sitting with my eyes closed to take in all that warmth.

The Ten Commandments was on TV on the other night. It got me remembering when it was first shown. It was around Easter. It was a huge event. The whole family sat around the TV watching. That the movie was in black and white made no difference. We were thrilled and amazed to see such an epic movie on TV right there in our living room. My mother made popcorn.

Today we celebrate Patriot’s Day which commemorates the battles of Lexington and Concord, the start of the American Revolution. It is an official state holiday, and it is chock full of events. The reenactment of the battle was this morning starting at 5:30. The reenactors for both sides wear historically accurate clothes with the Red Coats in uniform and the minutemen in every day garb. When the guns are fired, smoke fills the air and it is 1775.

The Red Sox game began at 11 today. Right now my Sox are ahead 4-2, but it is still early innings.

Today is Boston Marathon day. The first wave of marathoners started the 121st running of the race at 8:50. Elite runners left at 9:30. The last wave left at 11:15. The winning woman just crossed the line on Boylston Street.

My day will be a quiet one satisfying my soul and spirit. I’m spending the afternoon on the deck. Maybe I’ll read or maybe I’ll just sit and soak in the warmth of the sun and with eyes closed listen to all the sounds around me: the swishing of leaves from the slight breeze, the spawns of Satan running on the thick branches and the songs of birds. I have hot dogs for lunch.

“‘Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees Filled all the air with fragrance and with joy.”

April 16, 2017

Happy Easter!!

Alexa woke me up at 7:15 this morning so I could go down the street and decorate the tree beside my friends’ deck. It is a tradition. I draped garlands, old cards and egg shaped ornaments all over the tree then left quickly. I hate getting caught. I’ll go back down to my friends’ house later for baskets then we’ll leave for dinner.

It is a glorious Easter Sunday, sunny and warm, perfect for showing off new clothes and whirling dresses. The pictures will all be outside in front of budding trees, flowering bushes and the bright bulb flowers like the dafs and hyacinths.

When I was a kid, we wore our new clothes to church then over to my grandparents’ house in East Boston. My grandparents always had special Easter treats for all of us like candy and small baskets. I have one very distinct memory of an Easter Sunday with them in East Boston. My grandparents lived in an apartment before they moved a couple of streets away to a house. The apartment was the one on the second floor. My great-grandfather was still alive and living with my grandparents. He used to sit on a rocking chair in the room with the big gas heater. He’d yell and spit. We used to run as fast as we could to get by him to get to the TV room. I remember all of that, and I remember the Easter he snatched my basket away from me. I don’t remember the snatching, but I remember the horror, and I remember running to the kitchen crying to tell my mother what happened. My grandmother came to the rescue and got my basket back. I stayed in the kitchen for the rest of the visit.

When I was down the street this morning, I noticed the house across the street had eggs all over the grass and under trees. Later I heard the kids hunting and one yelling that he’d found more eggs. I figured he’d gotten to the lawn which had tons of eggs scattered  all over, no hunting skills required. The eggs were all colored plastic unlike the eggs of my day which were real, hard-boiled colored by hand eggs. Sometimes the count of found eggs was less than the count of hidden eggs. That’s why outside hunting was always best.

I hope you have the loveliest of Sundays and a wonderful Easter.

“I love the ritual of drawing up lists, and there’s something wonderfully satisfying about ticking tasks off.”

April 14, 2017

Today is chilly, only 52˚. It will even get down to the 30’s tonight. Luckily, though, Easter Sunday will be 64˚, perfect for Easter outfits.

When I was a kid, girls wore dresses on Easter. The dresses were fancy.  They were pastel colored and poofy with a couple of petticoats underneath. My sisters like to swirl their dresses by quickly spinning like Whirling Dervishes. On their feet, they wore white patent leather shoes with a strap across the foot. Their socks were delicate with lace around the top. My sisters were much girlier than I. Petticoats itched. I never once wore one. I remember one Easter at my Grandparents’ house. There were cousins, lots of cousins, and aunts and uncles. I was around 10 or 11. I overheard an aunt ask my mother about my Easter clothes which weren’t dressy. I wore a new skirt, new blouse, and a new blazer. I felt spiffy. My mother answered my aunt: that’s what she wanted. That ended all discussion and was the best answer.

Gracie had a not so good day yesterday. She jumped off the couch and somehow ended up on her back with her paw caught under a basket. She was perfectly still and frightened. I untangled her and got her on the couch. A few hugs later she was wagging her tail and wanting a treat. Gracie was none the worst for her fall. Today is a good day. I am taking her into the yard through the yard gate so we can avoid the steps going down, the scary steps. Gracie loves being in the yard.

Skip, my factotum, is here doing a few jobs. New lights are on the deck rail and in the yard and both are connected to timers. Skip is now working on the stairs and putting the new treads down. I’m just hoping Gracie will go upstairs so I can start sleeping in my bed.

I made another list. I discovered I get more done if the list is concrete. It forces me to get up and out of the house. Today there are four errands. I have plotted the route. None of the stores are close to each other. I figure to start in South Yarmouth at the vets to pick up medicine for Gracie, then on to 6A in Dennis to Nancy’s Candy, then back to South Dennis to Agway for litter and puppy pads. My final stop is Dennisport. I need Easter gifts for the two dogs, Gracie and Darci, my friends’ dog. I’ll hit the bakery for them, the dog bakery. I’m hoping they have whoopie pies. My last stop is for me, Buckies for a sandwich, for number 14: a panini with cheddar, bacon, avocado, tomatoes and a horseradish sauce. I’m salivating at the mere mention of that sandwich.

The list is right in front of me, mocking me. I have to hurry.

“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.”

April 13, 2017

You’re probably wondering where I am this late in the day. I spent the morning following Gracie as she had balance problems. That happens most mornings, but then she figures it out and adjusts her gait, but she didn’t today.  I walked her down to the yard a couple of times and sat waiting outside for her. I was glad she was quick as that famous Cape breeze is making it chilly despite the sun.

Captain Frosty’s opened today, and we made our annual pilgrimage. I had the shrimp plate with a couple of clam cakes and onion rings instead of fries. The plate was so filled it should have had an annex just for the onion rings. Captain Frosty’s is always the first of our haunts to open for the summer. The ice cream shop is usually next. I’m always excited as shops open for the season. Each opening brings us closer to summer.

Yesterday I was able to cross off all but the one errand which has graced every list I’ve made since the first of the year: getting my hair cut. It is now on the top of tomorrow’s list. Every day I am bound and determined to get it cut but I don’t and have no reasons why not.

Gracie is standing beside me on the couch. Her muzzle is about 6 inches from my face, and she is staring at me. I know all the signals. She wants out. That means slowly walking her down the stairs, staying out with her then calling her up the back stairs, an easier climb for her. The whole stair thing is strange. She won’t go down the easy stairs. No, I have to take her down one step at a time on the scary stairs, the ones she is afraid of as she slides, but Gracie, being a rather intelligent dog, figured out on her own that the other stairs are easy to climb. I’m glad as she doesn’t need my help.

I’m going to take Miss Gracie out now. She has barked once right at me in impatience. That drives me crazy, and she knows it. Smart dog!