Posted tagged ‘responsibilities’

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

May 11, 2012

Today is a pretty day. Out my window here by the desk, I can see the sun shining on the leaves of the giant oak tree, and the leaves shimmer each time even the slightest breeze moves them. Fern is sprawled on the rug in the sun where it streams through the front door. Grace is sitting on the deck watching the yard. Maddie is on the dining room table-her usual perch.

I have very little ambition. I do have one errand, but it will wait until later in the day. Gracie can come with me for the ride, and that will make her afternoon.

My favorite part of being a kid was having little or no responsibility. I had to go to school, and I had to do well but that last part was my compulsion, not my parents’ demand. They were casual about report cards. We kids were never planners. We’d decided in the moment what we wanted to do. List making was a long way in the future, except for those Christmas lists for Santa. I remember we’d say, “When I grow up,” not really understanding exactly what that meant. I just saw being grown-up as an ideal time when I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

What a shock I got when I did grow up. A job? I have to have a job? Car payments too? Rent, food, clothes-is there no end to the responsibilities of being a grown-up? Where’s the fun? Where’s doing what I want?

I did get to travel, but that grew out of my childhood dreams. Adulthood just gave me the means. Friday, the end of the work week, took Saturday’s place as my favorite day of the week. No more Saturday matinees: it was now chore day. Sunday was dump day and plan my lessons day. If I went out, it was usually Saturday night or maybe an occasional Friday happy hour, both literally and figuratively. I just compressed my adulthood into a single paragraph.

Now I am back to doing what I want when I want. Sometimes that means I want to do nothing. I’m figuring today is one of those days. I’m going to join Fern, Maddie and Gracie and just while away the day. I have a few books I’ve yet to read.


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