Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“You can’t teach people to be lazy – either they have it, or they don’t.”

October 4, 2012

Today is another grey, rainy day, but it’s warm which sort of compensates. Yesterday was busy for me, and I got a lot done. We, Gracie and I, went to the dump then to the garden shop for pumpkins, gourds and mums. They now adorn the front steps. I had two other stops, but I brought Miss Gracie home first as she found the car a bit warm. Today I’ll also be going out: two days in a row is unheard of for me. I’ve been home over two weeks, and the gas tank is still half full.

A while back I saw the Facebook picture of someone I’ve known since the first grade. We were friends and college roommates, but my time in the Peace Corps was when I lost track of her and most of my college friends as the distance between us became more than miles. In that picture I mentioned she was wearing a hat, a dress and pearls. She was June Cleaver or Donna Reed. We have definitely drifted very far apart.

I haven’t a whole lot of ambition today. Over the weekend I made pumpkin cookies, did a laundry and polished this room. The other day I did a couple of errands and yesterday I crossed more errands off my list. I think I’m exhausted. When I worked, all of those would have been done on Saturday except for the dump. That was always on Sunday. Now I spread my chores and my errands over a week or even two weeks and still I complain. It hasn’t anything to do with getting tired or being older. It has to do with jealously guarding my time. I want every day. I want to read all day or take a nap or not even get dressed. I want to fun shop. I want to play. I want to loll on the couch with bon bons. I deserve all of it!

“Come, pensive nun, devout and pure, sober steadfast, and demure, all in a robe of darkest grain, flowing with majestic train.”

October 2, 2012

It is another beautiful fall day with lots of sunshine. The breeze is ever so slight and just ruffles the leaves. When I closed down the deck, I left out a table and a comfy chair so I can enjoy days like today. That’s where I’ve been for the last couple of hours. I fed the birds and read a while then figured it was time to get on with my day. I came inside but oh so reluctantly.

I have a couple of errands today, left over from yesterday. One I couldn’t do and the other I forgot to do. Looks like I’ll be putting four or five more miles on the car this week!

I wore uniforms for almost my entire time in school, from grades 1 though grade 11. They made it easy to choose what to wear, and uniforms made us all equal. My grades 1 though 8 uniform was a blue skirt, a white blouse and a blue tie: a cowboy tie is what we used to call it. The skirts had to be at least half-way down the knee. I remember the eighth grade when crazy Sister Hildegarde was my teacher, and she went after a girl who had rolled the waist of her skirt to make it shorter. Eleanor Garland was the girl’s name. It is a name I’ve never forgotten as the incident was so awful. To make it even worse, Eleanor was somehow related to crazy Sister Hildegarde, and we all knew it. I can still remember Sister Hildegarde storming down the aisle to the back desk, her veil blowing behind her, where she made Eleanor stand up. We always thought of her as poor Eleanor even before the incident. She had teeth which needed braces, was too skinny, not all that bright and was really shy. To have rolled her skirt so high was a defiant, rebellious Eleanor none of us recognized but should have applauded en mass when the incident happened. I’ll never forget Sister Hildegarde standing in front of poor Eleanor berating and yelling at her. Crazy Sister Hildegarde then  grabbed the hem of Eleanor’s skirt and pulled it down to where the rules said it should be. Eleanor never moved and crazy Sister Hildegarde never stopped yelling. Poor Eleanor cried silently, tears streaming down her face. She was humiliated and we were horrified. When Sister Hildegarde was finally finished her attack, Eleanor was told to sit down. She did so without a word. None of us said anything either. We turned around to let Eleanor have as much privacy as a room full of kids and a crazy nun could give her.

After graduating from the eighth grade, I went to a Catholic high school where every one of the nuns was sane. It was in a different town. I never saw Eleanor after the eighth grade. I sometimes wonder about her.

“He who is outside his door already has the hardest part of his journey behind him.”

October 1, 2012

I apologize for the lateness of the hour, but I upgraded my OS today and started to write Coffee on my iPad as the Mac was doing it thing. I wrote the blog but it disappeared. Come to find out I hadn’t put it on the dashboard but in some unknown place which ate the entry. I started again and got most of it written then, glory be to God, my Mac finished so here I am.

This morning I woke up at 8:30 which is the latest I’ve slept since I got home. It felt like the middle of the afternoon.

After I get up, the first thing I usually do is check out my window to see what sort of day Mother Nature has sent us. I was thrilled to see the sun and feel the warm air when I went to get the papers. I came inside and opened both doors. Fern ran to the sun streaming through the front door, and I wanted to join her. Lolling in the sun is a fine way to spend the day.

I keep track of the number of miles I travel each week. When I worked, I generally traveled over 100 miles a week with the comings and goings, the off-cape meetings and the occasional trips to Boston. Last week I managed 48 miles. Some weeks, my sloth or hibernation weeks, I do around 24 miles. At that rate my car will last forever.

I find it a bit intriguing that I am more than willing to travel around the world, but I carp and complain about a trip to Hyannis. It isn’t as if I have to travel far, but that doesn’t matter, I still have to steel myself for the trip. To that end, I always promise myself a treat for having made the trek. Usually it’s a stop at Barnes and Noble or lunch out, sometimes at the Indian restaurant or the Thai place on the way home. I chuckle at the absurdity of it all, but that doesn’t change my reluctance to get on the highway and head to the big city, big at least for these parts. Never could I have visualized that Hyannis would seem the ends of the earth to me.

“Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.”

September 29, 2012

The thunder woke me up last night. It rumbled and roared for the longest time then the rain started, the downpour, a torrent of rain. It rained all night. This morning the rain was heavy then just in time for me to get the papers the rain became a mist. Gracie has been out twice, a barometer of sorts as she only goes out if the rain is light.

Maddie presented me with another gift this morning: her third mouse since my return. That makes the count 3 to 1. Maddie is the three, and I’m the one. Gracie had cornered a baby mouse the other day, the tiniest of things, and I saved it. I managed to get it into a box then I took it outside, but I swear this new casualty could be the same mouse or its twin. Both were dark grey and both were babies.

My house is really quiet. The only sound is the keys as I type. The three animals are asleep. They each have a spot. Fern is on the afghan on the back of the couch, Maddie on the chair and Gracie sprawled beside me on the couch. Every now and then she snores.

I used to love Saturdays when I was a kid. It was the one day I could do whatever I wanted, at least until bath time. The day always started with cereal and all those wonderful Saturday morning programs. My brother used to sit on the floor between the TV and the chair where I usually sat. If my mother caught him, she always made him move back away from the screen. She believed that watching the TV so closely would harm his eyes. After our shows were finished, it was time to get dressed and go exploring. We never had a destination. We just wandered. On rainy days Saturdays like today, we’d stay home. I liked to lie in bed, comfy under the covers, and read. Sometimes we’d play in the cellar. I used to imagine that the bottom of the railing was a horse. I’d saddle it with a blanket and then ride. I was Annie Oakley.

We never tired of Saturday night’s dinner. It was a ritual of sorts, a New England specialty meal of hot dogs, baked beans and brown bread. I always passed on the beans. We used the yellow mustard on our dogs which, for the whole of his life, was my dad’s favorite. Howard’s piccalilli was our other topping. We were never ketchup fans on hot dogs. Every now and then I buy brown bread; it’s a sort of trip in time.

Saturday night was bath night. My sisters shared the tub while my brother and I each had our own bath. The night always ended in screaming. While my mother was combing the snarls out of their wet hair, my sisters would cry and scream. My brother and I, ever sympathetic, always turned up the TV so we didn’t have to hear them.

“Outside the open window The morning air is all awash with angels.”

September 28, 2012

The rain stayed away yesterday, but today is already damp and dark so I figure we’ll get the promised rain later today. Gracie loves a cool morning, and she was out long enough to make me paranoid enough to check. I know she can’t jump the 6 foot fence anymore, but she still tries. Right now is her morning nap time.

The only light in this room is the laptop. Everything outside is still and quiet. I always like this kind of a morning. Actually, I love most sorts of mornings. I love the first gasp of breath when I go outside on a cold morning and the walk across the crisp, frosted grass to get my papers. Rainy mornings mean a run to get the papers and a day planned around a good book and an afghan across my legs. Snowy mornings have me checking how many inches have fallen. In the spring I love the smell of mornings. There is such a freshness to the start of the day when the the world is waking up from winter. Summer mornings are my favorite of all.

When I was really young, I never noticed the mornings. I was too grumpy being dragged out of bed, forced to put on my school uniform, eat breakfast and then walk to school. Every weekday was pretty much the same. The only sort of day which got my attention was when it rained. That meant wet shoes coming and going and staying inside at lunch instead of having recess.

I notice every morning now. I love the sounds of the birds and summers on the deck having coffee and reading the papers. I watch the birds flying in and out at the feeders. I curse the spawns of Satan. My deck will be closed down this weekend, and I’m sad. The furniture will be covered and the candles taken down from the trees. I’ll go out to check on the dog and to fill the feeders, and when I do, I’ll long for summer again.

“No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time.”

September 27, 2012

I want snow and cold. They will be cause for hibernation by the elderly whose cars will then lie fallow in garages for the season. Yesterday was the worst. I spent what seemed like hours behind a driver going 20 then up to a high speed of 25. The line of cars behind me stretched for miles. Finally the driver turned right and went through a red light to a parking lot beyond. I figured he thought the light was optional. I breathed a sigh of relief until I caught up with the car in front of me, a car from Florida. That one was going so slowly I swear two walkers passed it on the road. I even think one of them was using crutches. A detour did me in as every car had to go my way. The one in front of me put brakes on at every curve, however slight, and took my exact route home. The cars, again, were massed behind me. We could have been a parade.

Rain is expected starting today then through the weekend. The sun was bright earlier but is now behind the clouds. It’s warm. I stayed outside a while and checked out my front garden. The mums planted last year have blossoms. I saw white, yellow and  deep rust buds. My flowers are close to adorning the garden.

My daily life is almost back to normal. Last night I lasted until after 11 then woke up this morning at 7, the latest I’ve slept since my return. It is difficult to believe that a week and a half ago I was in Africa. Sometimes I even find it difficult to believe I actually lived in Africa, a place so different than here. When I’m there, every day seems perfectly natural: shopping in the market, greeting people in FraFra or Hausa, eating with my right hand and enjoying goat or plantain or rice with a few rocks, well, pebbles anyway, and constantly sweating from the heat. When I’m here, all of that seems more like a dream, something I conjured from a book I read or a movie I’d seen. But it isn’t: all of it is real, every wonderful day of my adventure.

“I liked it all except the algebra and the shoes. The algebra hurt my head and the shoes hurt my feet.”

September 25, 2012

I managed to stay asleep until six. The house was cold when I woke up, colder than outside, the way it is some mornings this time of year. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but the idea of a hot cup of coffee convinced me. The papers had already arrived so I trekked to the driveway. The weatherman says 70˚ today. I’m hoping it will be.

When I know something odd, I always wish I remembered how I learned it. I guess all those books I read growing up were sources and sometimes inspirations to find out more. The supermarket encyclopedias, the ones with the red bindings, were also fodder for my memory banks. I used them for school, but I also thought of them as fun to read. I used to pick one volume, open a page at random and then read what was there. The end of the alphabet was one of my favorite volumes. I’ve always liked words which begin with x. They’re unusual, even a bit exotic.

I read the Tarzan series a long while back. In the first book, Tarzan, who was raised by an ape after the deaths of his parents, stumbles on the shack where he was born. He finds some books there and teaches himself how to read. Later he is also taught to speak French and to behave like a man, not an ape. The movies made him out to be a savage, an ignorant savage, but he was literate. I think it would have been cool to find a literate jungle man who swung from vines, someone who spoke a bit like Ape in George of the Jungle. I guess, though, he wouldn’t have been as interesting as Johnny Weissmuller and Me, Tarzan, You, Jane.

Doctor Dolittle was a favorite series of mine when I was young. His town had the best name: Puddleby-on-the-Marsh. I still remember those books and several of their characters including the pushmi-pullyu, Polynesia, the parrot, who taught Dr. Dolittle to speak with animals and Jib, his dog, who did the sweeping. I knew the books weren’t real, the word fiction was still a few years away for me, but that didn’t stop me from wishing I could speak with my dog. Those books are really dated now and probably aren’t read very much any more. The movies have taken their place or maybe, just maybe, they were inspirations for some lucky readers to find the books and lose themselves in the doctor’s adventures with the giant pink sea-snail, the floating island and the shoeless Prince Bumpo.

“I liked it all except the algebra and the shoes. The algebra hurt my head and the shoes hurt my feet.”

September 25, 2012

I managed to stay asleep until six. The house was cold when I woke up, colder than outside, the way it is some mornings this time of year. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but the idea of a hot cup of coffee convinced me. The papers had already arrived so I trekked to the driveway. The weatherman says 70˚ today. I’m hoping it will be.

When I know something odd, I always wish I remembered how I learned it. I guess all those books I read growing up were sources and sometimes inspirations to find out more. The supermarket encyclopedias, the ones with the red bindings, were also fodder for my memory banks. I used them for school, but I also thought of them as fun to read. I used to pick one volume, open a page at random and then read what was there. The end of the alphabet was one of my favorite volumes. I’ve always liked words which begin with x. They’re unusual, even a bit exotic.

I read the Tarzan series a long while back. In the first book, Tarzan, who was raised by an ape after the deaths of his parents, stumbles on the shack where he was born. He finds some books there and teaches himself how to read. Later he is also taught to speak French and to behave like a man, not an ape. The movies made him out to be a savage, an ignorant savage, but he was literate. I think it would have been cool to find a literate jungle man who swung from vines, someone who spoke a bit like Ape in George of the Jungle. I guess, though, he wouldn’t have been as interesting as Johnny Weissmuller and Me, Tarzan, You, Jane.

Doctor Dolittle was a favorite series of mine when I was young. His town had the best name: Puddleby-on-the-Marsh. I still remember those books and several of their characters including the pushmi-pullyu, Polynesia, the parrot, who taught Dr. Dolittle to speak with animals and Jib, his dog, who did the sweeping. I knew the books weren’t real, the word fiction was still a few years away for me, but that didn’t stop me from wishing I could speak with my dog. Those books are really dated now and probably aren’t read very much any more. The movies have taken their place or maybe, just maybe, they were inspirations for some lucky readers to find the books and lose themselves in the doctor’s adventures with the giant pink sea-snail, the floating island and the shoeless Prince Bumpo.

The leaves fall, the wind blows, and the farm country slowly changes from the summer cottons into its winter wools.”

September 24, 2012

It was dark when I woke up, but the sky has brightened with morning. The papers were just delivered. Gracie is sleeping on the couch. She doesn’t like early mornings. I’m starting to dislike them myself.

A few errands need to be done today, and I want to stop at the farm stand for those mums, a couple of pumpkins and some apple cider. I love the colors of autumn, and I love them in the garden best of all.

Carving pumpkins was a Saturday event. My mother would put newspapers on the kitchen table, and she’d do the cutting of the pumpkin. Our job was to clean out the guts. We never thought cleaning the guts was gross. To us, it was the perfect kid job. We’d reach in and get a handful of pumpkin insides mixed with seeds, make appropriate noises and pretend to toss the guts at each other. I remember strands of pumpkin guts hanging from my hand and that would always send us into peals of loud laughter. It’s a kid thing.

I know winter is waiting its turn, but I can’t help but love these crisp mornings. The air smells fresh and the humidity is gone. On the morning of the first frost, I love to walk across the white topped grass and hear the crunch of my footsteps, but I’m not wishing for that frost to come too soon. I’m perfectly willing to wait.

The sun still warms the day but casts shadows different than the summer sun. The leaves are dappled, no longer bright with  morning sunlight. The afternoons die quickly. I don’t guess the right time anymore. I always think it later than it is. My mind still has its summer setting.

“Happily we bask in this warm September sun, Which illuminates all creatures…”

September 23, 2012

It must have rained during the night as the street and driveway are wet, but I never heard the rain. The morning is warm. The sun rose without being seen, hidden as it is behind clouds. I went to bed really early and woke up in the dark. I can’t seem to shake the last time zone. My newspapers aren’t even here yet.

This is my favorite time of the year. The Cape stays warm. Red leaves dominate the trees, the scrub oaks, which are everywhere. Tourists are gone for the most part. The weekends, though, will still be a bit busy through Columbus Day when the Cape closes up for the season.

This is also the tour bus season, and every bus is filled with senior citizens taking advantage of the off-season rates, the still open souvenir shops and the all you can eat restaurants. The buses pass me as they go down cape, and I can usually see the tour guide standing in front with microphone in hand. On Route 6A, I figure the guide is describing the captains’ houses and places like the Edward Gorey house. That is the prettiest road on the whole cape, and it extends from the bridge to Orleans. I usually take that road when I’m going down cape.

I need to buy some mums. I noticed they are blooming in my front garden, and I think I’ll add a couple of different colors. The mums always seem like the last gift of the season from my garden, the memory I’ll hold onto until spring.

I have a wonderful memory. I can see things as they are and how they used to be. I was giving directions to my friend and told her exactly how many lights she’d go through: seven of them. I just closed my eyes and saw the road and each light. I have the worst accent when it comes to languages, but I remember the vocabulary, even my high school French. I may mangle the sounds, but I get my point across.

Nothing tastes better than sweet, fresh fruit. Pineapple is my favorite, but the paw paw in Ghana I ate this trip moved up to a close second. I keep bananas around for a quick snack. I love them in my cereal. They even perk up corn flakes. Cold, crisp apples scream of fall, but it’s pumpkins which are fall’s best fruit. They stand out in every farm shop usually lined up in the front inviting us to stop. I always do.