Posted tagged ‘texting’

“Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.”

March 6, 2016

The day is getting lighter as the sun struggles to appear. It is in the high 30’s but the rest of the week will be in the 40’s and one day may hit 50˚. I think the forecast is worthy of song, “We’re having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave.”

Some things just drive me crazy. Men wearing baseball caps inside is one of them. It is old school, I know, to expect men to take their hats off in a restaurant, but I do. Some people, mostly of the male variety, shovel their food into their mouths. They hold their forks like a piece of equipment, like that shovel I mentioned. Little kids doing it I understand as they’re still in process, but I don’t understand adult shovelers. Pocketbooks on the table at restaurants drive me crazy. Texting has its place but not while we’re eating. How about some table talk, some conversation?  Catch up with one another. Mumbling doesn’t count. One of my former relatives ate with her mouth open. I could never sit across from her. She obviously didn’t have the constant reminder, “Chew with your mouth closed,”the way we did. My mother was big into manners.

I admit we did some things just to drive one or both of our parents crazy. Shuffling our feet as we walked was one of them. My father inevitably yelled, “Pick up your feet.” We did literally and that made it even worse. Tapping a fork on the table was more than my mother could handle. She’d come right over and take the fork out of the offender’s hand. I admit I am a tapper, but I have never intended malice. It just happens when I’m engrossed in something like figuring out a crossword puzzle word. “Stop tapping!” from my mother would pull me from my reverie.

I live alone and even drive myself crazy at times. That’s the worst.

“When I go home my mother still makes me take out the garbage.”

July 1, 2010

The sky is hurt your eyes blue. The sunlight is sharp, the breeze cool. It was in the 50’s last night, and right now it’s only in the high 60’s. It is the most delightful of days. Gracie and I have a dump run scheduled for later, but that’s about it for errands. I’ll make my bed in a bit and shower tonight, but I have no other plans. My book is interesting, and the deck is the best place to while away an afternoon.

When I was in Colorado, I noticed that most people under thirty have had a phone surgically attached to one hand or the other. During the baseball games, I saw heads down and thumbs moving, including a few in my family. They noticed the game only after the action, when the crowd cheered. My niece and her friend were sitting side by side at the restaurant carrying on a private conversation, texting each other. I’m afraid evolutionary changes have already begun, and phones will, over time, become appendages: two legs, two arms and a phone. I’ve checked both my hands. Neither yet has a phone growth, but I’ll keep an eye on them just in case.

Snakes on a Plane has a sequel in the works: Maggots on a Plane. A US Air flight had to return to the Atlanta airport when maggots started dropping on passengers from the overhead compartment. The pilot announced they were returning to the gate because of a minor emergency on board. Flight attendants told everyone to sit down and be calm. Right away I remember the garbage container in my backyard. It was in the ground right near the back steps. It had a foot lever to open the heavy, iron top. I remember the top was green. My mother would send me to empty the triangular, plastic garbage holder, the one with the holes in the bottom, she kept in the corner of the sink. I hated that chore. I’d use my foot to open the garbage bucket, and there were always these gross maggots crawling around. I’d dump the garbage and close that lid as fast as lightning all the while trying not to breathe. Once a week the garbage men came. They carried a barrel slung on their backs into which they’d dump the garbage and all its passengers. The men moved from yard to yard while their truck slowly followed. I used to watch. I couldn’t imagine a worse job.