Posted tagged ‘parents’

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.”

August 15, 2016

My doors and windows are open. I have rejoined the world if only for a while. There is a breeze coming from the north, the window behind me, keeping the den cool, and the sun is still working its way around so it’s also dark. The weather report is for heat but less humidity so I’m taking advantage and giving the house some fresh air before the onslaught of the heat.

My life of late has been boring. Staying inside the house doesn’t make for adventure, for stories. I do have to go to the dump, but that’s not a plot line for a good story. It’s just trash.

My neighborhood is quiet. I have no idea where the kids are. There are 9 of them on this street. I’m thinking it’s difficult to hide them all. Perhaps their parents are using gags and tricking the kids into thinking it’s a game. When you’re little you believe everything your parents tell you. That’s why I didn’t eat Chinese food until I was around ten or eleven.

I’ve tried salmon a couple of times but I still don’t like it. It’s the only fish I haven’t liked. No respectable fish is pink and why don’t you pronounce the l?

I make a great chili. It is a recipe from my brother-in-law. In his recipe, Rod has beans listed. For my copy, he also has a footnote: if making chili for me, don’t add the beans. I have never made chili with beans. My defense is that real chili has no beans.

I eat a lot of chicken. It’s not all that expensive and chicken recipes number in the millions. I like chicken thighs and think they are the tastiest part of the chicken.When I go out for a casual dinner, I usually order a cheeseburger.

When I go out for a casual dinner, I usually order a cheeseburger with onion rings on the side, but one pub where I eat doesn’t make onion rings at night, only during lunch, so I order French fries. I don’t eat my fries with ketchup; instead, I dip them in mayonnaise. I seldom use salt, but I do salt my fries. They seem to taste better that way.

My mother told us stories about World War II and rationing. She said they seldom got butter so they used oleo instead. It was white but it came with packets of yellow to make it butter-like. When I was a kid, my mother never bought oleo. Having it in the war was enough for her; instead, she always bought butter. My sisters and I still do.

I remember a lunch at a friend’s house.  She made sandwiches with salmon and dessert with peaches. I ate both of them out of courtesy. It rates as the worse lunch in my memory drawers.

“Children learn to smile from their parents.”

August 12, 2011

Lots of news today. First, my daily weather report: it’s an absolutely gorgeous day, a perfect 74°. My morning on the deck was idyllic with the birds flying in and out, the fountain burbling, and the tenants from hell gone somewhere else. They were shouting to each other early this morning, their usual conversational voice level, but I suspect they went to the beach because, with high hopes and my fingers crossed, I’m thinking today is their last day and tomorrow they depart. Second news: the paint eating spawn of Satan is back. I haven’t been spending as much time on the deck as usual because of the noise and Wednesday I was busy all day so it was yesterday when I noticed the new gnaw marks. A couple of marks are over the old ones and a couple are new marks on the arm of a chair. It’s back to turning the chairs against the table every night. I had hoped that the spawn’s peculiar diet had done him him. This is, after all, the third summer, of gnawing, but I think he has developed an immunity or turned into a B-scifi monster like The Incredible Shrinking Woman or The Colossus. I best be armed if we meet. Third news: I have begun the countdown. Two weeks from tomorrow I leave. When I booked my flight in April, I was counting in months. Hard to believe my trip is so close.

I know that I often subject you to my memories of Ghana, but it plays a huge role in my life and talking about it keeps the experience vivid. Today is something new: the story of how I got there. I never told my parents when I applied in October of my senior year. My dad had made comments when he saw Peace Corps commercials on TV. He couldn’t understand paying all that money for college then getting no money to work somewhere foreign, alien, for two years. In January I received my acceptance, and I called my mother and asked her to tell my father. I knew he’d be angry, and I didn’t want to hear it. She hedged but finally agreed. I called a couple of days later, and my father said I couldn’t go. I just laughed. I was 21 in my last semester of college and I couldn’t imagine he believed that would work. Next he said no more money; the well is dry. I said fine as he’d already paid my tuition, and I could get a part time job for the rest. Then he yelled and yelled and yelled. I hung up on him. The worst thing was I had agreed to go home for the next weekend to mind my sisters while my parents stayed overnight for a family function off cape. I asked my friend Lenny to go with me. He asked if I was using him. I most certainly was. We went down on the bus, my dad picked us up and didn’t speak to me. He talked to Lenny the whole time then they left the next morning, and we still hadn’t spoken.

It took a few months before my dad accepted my decision. He didn’t wholeheartedly support me until much later, but he started talking to me and hoped I knew what I was getting into. I had no idea.

My parents drove me to Logan on the Sunday in June I was to report to staging. Peace Corps had sent a bus ticket to Philadelphia, but my dad bought me a plane ticket instead. The ride to the airport was difficult because we were all so caught up in our feelings. They were afraid for me and hated having me go so far away. I was nervous and scared both of leaving and arriving. They parked the car and we walked to the gate together, my dad carrying my 80 pounds of luggage. Before I finally boarded, we hugged so long my back hurt.

They told me later neither one of them spoke as they watched my plane disappear from sight.

“Premature burial works just fine as a cure for adolescence.”

August 28, 2010

The sun is warm and bright. The sky is blue from front to back and top to bottom. From my window here in the den, I can see the top branches of the huge oak tree. The sunshine glints on its leaves and highlights every vein and stem. Gracie and I have already been outside just standing on the deck and taking in the morning.

I don’t remember exactly how old I was when Saturday morning television was no longer an incentive to hurry out of bed, get my breakfast, my cereal and milk, and plunk down in front of the TV. Howdy and Sky and Boris and Natasha had been replaced for sleeping-in. My life was changing, and I didn’t really notice. Changes sometimes happen that way. Their arrival is subtle. All of a sudden clothes became important. Saturday matinees were for kids. I didn’t want to go anywhere with my family. My parents didn’t understand me. My room became my refuge. I didn’t have to be sent there anymore. I went willingly, gladly. I was an adolescent.

My mind is quick, and I have a history of wonderfully clever comments. They started jumping out of my mouth about the same time I began my adolescence. My father was often my straight man. He made comments which begged for a response, and I could seldom resist. Sometimes he’d ask questions, rhetorical to him, fodder for me. My favorite was, “What do you think you’re doing?” Never once was he happy with my answers, but I loved each and every one of them and would have grinned at my cleverness, but that would have been way over the top.

It wasn’t until I went to college that we reached an understanding, a truce of sorts.

“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”

July 30, 2010

A cold front arrived today, a summer cold front. I felt it as soon as I walked on the deck. The day is dry and warm, no longer so hot that even sitting still makes you sweat. According to the paper, it will be 59° tonight. That boggles my mind. I’m thinking reading on the deck with a fire in the chiminea might be a wonderful way to spend the evening. Did I mention a drink in my hand?

Eat your vegetables. Wash your hands. Wipe your feet. Take your coat off the chair and hang it in the closet. Put your schoolbag away. Change into play clothes. Brush your teeth. Do your homework. Don’t sit so close to the TV or you’ll go blind. Leave your sisters alone. Don’t slam the door. Go outside and play. Don’t stand looking with the refrigerator door open. No cookies before dinner. Get your feet off the table. Get ready for bed.

My mother said those same things every day. Most time she’d add, “How many times to I have to tell you?”  I really wanted to answer her but never did. I would have been sent to my room until my early twenties. It wasn’t because I was a slow learner or had no short term memory. It was because I just didn’t listen. Every kid figures out at an early age how to ignore parents, especially their repetitive commands. We’d move back from the TV then move right back to where we were as soon as my mother left the room. The back door always slammed. Little sisters were to be picked on. It was a universal rule. If I didn’t stand looking into the refrigerator, how would I know what I wanted? What kid ever wants to get ready for bed? Vegetables?

My mother would yell, “Are you listening to me?” I’d nod or say yes despite having no idea what in the heck she’d said. I figured the truth, no, would have been a worse answer. It would have made my mother madder, and I’d have been accused of being a smart aleck, a wise ass when I got older.

That’s when I learned shading the truth is sometimes the response.