Posted tagged ‘idiot’

“Of all the seasons, autumn offers the most to man and requires the least of him.”

October 29, 2015

Some days just don’t have a chance. Today is already one of them. I woke up with my back hurting, something which hasn’t happened in a while. I know why. Yesterday I was an idiot. I changed the litter boxes and hauled the heavy, used litter downstairs then to the car. I brought laundry up two flights. I went shopping and brought in several bags including new litter which I then hauled upstairs. I gave my back no thought. This morning I was reminded.

Now for today’s fiascos: I was putting on my sweatshirt and my arm knocked over the bag of dog treats. I picked up the treats and swept the small pieces. I decided to take a few Aleve’s for my back. I dropped the bottle on the floor and had to stoop to pick up the pills which were strewn across the bathroom floor. I went to change the water in the dog dish and found one of the cats had thrown up in it. At least her aim was good. I got my coffee and was walking down the hall juggling the cup with the mail and the newspapers. Yup, I spilled the coffee but not all of it, a good omen I figured. I cleaned it up and was finally able to sit and read the papers. There was no good news.

It rained all night. The fallen leaves are plastered to the deck, the walkway and the driveway. From the right viewpoint, they look like a painting of reds and yellows scattered here and there on the canvas. It is warm and the sun has just appeared. I am becoming optimistic, even rosy, about the prospects of the rest of the day.

I had plans for today, but they are now scrapped. The dump will be there tomorrow. Low lights will hide the dust on the bookcases and the shelves. I’m thinking I need a sloth day, maybe even a ride to nowhere.

The last three days have been filled with chores and errands, with me making up for lost time from being sick. I’m done with that. I’m going to brush my teeth which is about as strenuous an activity as I’ll have today.

“One winter morning Peter woke up and looked out the window. Snow had fallen during the night. It covered everything as far as he could see.”

January 4, 2014

The snow fell all day into the night yesterday. The plow didn’t come until quite late and did only one sweep on each side of my street. My car and house are still buried. I can see my paper, but the snow is just too deep to make the trek to get it. My factotum, Skip, said he’d be here by nine but that’s nine Skip time so he’s not here yet. I need to be out in the next couple of hours so I hope he’s on his way.

Yesterday Gracie was smarter than I am. I let her out back and then noticed the snow had forced the back gate open and Gracie, being Gracie, went out. I called her and she came right back into the yard and the house. It was snowing, and the snow was so deep it was up to her belly so leaving the yard and walking in all that snow wasn’t attractive to her. When she next needed to go out, I attached two leashes together and let her out front. She wasn’t too happy as she never goes out there so it took a while for her to find the right spot. I held the leash and waited. My sister suggested that maybe I ought to try and shut the gate, and that’s where stupid comes in for me. I put on my shoes, rolled up my pants so they wouldn’t get wet and went out. I never gave a thought to my legs from the tops of my socks to where the pants started. The steps to the yard were covered in snow, and I had to hold on to the underneath rungs of the wooden handrail so I could use my foot to clear off each step before I got to it. When I got to the bottom of the steps, my legs were covered in snow as were my shoes and even the rolled up pants. The gate wouldn’t shut because of the show blown against it. I couldn’t get to the snow outside the gate because of the Christmas light wires so I reached with my leg as far as I could and cleared the snow with my foot. One section was beyond my reach so I shut the gate as far as I could and kicked it. The gate moved a little at a time until finally it shut. I worked my way  up the stairs to the back door, but I couldn’t get inside: the button you push to open the door was frozen and wouldn’t move. Gracie went in the dog door and stood in the kitchen watching me. I banged that button with my fist so many times my hands were sore. I knew my only other recourse was to go out the gate, walk through all the snow to my friends’ house and get my spare key from them. No, I couldn’t bear it so I kept banging and cursing. Finally the button gave way, and I got into the house. I was covered with snow so I took off all the snowy stuff right there and then hung it up to dry. I put on warm socks, slippers, pants and a sweatshirt and was warm in no time. I think it will take me a lot longer to smarten up. That was about the dumbest thing I’ve done: bare skin, no hat, no coat, no boots and no gloves. What an idiot!

“You can’t make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious.”

October 7, 2011

Last night was one of those I can’t get to sleep nights. After the Tigers-Yankee thriller, I watched a few DVR’ed programs, played on my computer and still couldn’t get to sleep. Finally, about 3:00, we all crawled into bed. This morning Gracie woke me up by ringing her bells to go out around 9:30. The house was so cold I ran back upstairs and under the covers but not before I turned on the heat. Yup, I have heat.

I am an idiot. When the hall was painted last week, the painter turned off the emergency switch, and it only cost me $95.00 to turn it on again. While the service guy was here, I figured he might as well change the filter in the furnace, and when he did, he turned off some switch which caused the heat to stay off. I called the answering service and some woman questioned me about the switches. Not a tech person mind you, but an answering person. I finally got her to take the message and stop the inquisition. The service guy called and profusely apologized. He knew just what he had done and was on his way back here. I now have heat, just in time for the 70+° weather due this weekend.

My sister was born on Columbus Day, the real one, not the fake one enacted to give us all a long weekend. She loved having that day as her birthday because she was guaranteed a day off from school. I swear when she was young she thought we all had the day off in her honor.

As a kid, my favorite time of the year, besides summer and no school, was from October through the beginning of January. During those months we had Halloween, legal holidays off from school and holy days off like November 1st, All Saint’s Day, and December 8th, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception though we had to pay for those days off by attending mass. I guess it was a fair trade-off. We also had the school vacations of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

School was never painful those months. We knew a day off was never far away.


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