I should have done something illegal so I could count all these days inside as house arrest. This morning I gave the day a chance but it failed. I opened doors and windows but the house got warm far too quickly; however, the paper’s weather prediction does offer some hope: a late-night thunderstorm and another one tomorrow. Thursday and Friday will drop to the 70’s during the day and the mid 60’s at night. I can hardly wait. Today looks lovely from the window view. The sun is bright and there is a breeze. What you can’t see is the humidity hanging in the air.

I look at the obits, not all of them, just the headlines. Fame is relative so I don’t know most of the people highlighted who were well-known on the Cape. They all seem to have lasted a long time. 80+ is the average. The only obits I notice in the Globe are those of famous people. Cilla Black died yesterday. She was 72. My first thought was how young she was, a reaction which has to do with my age and thinking of myself as still young.

My generation sees age very differently than previous generations. One of my friends will be 70 this year. When my grandparents were 70, I thought them quite old. They looked old and dressed old. I couldn’t imagine being 70. I wondered how it felt and whether or not it was scary. I believed it was limiting as my grandparents hardly did anything. They stayed home mostly, and we went to them.

My mother cracked the mold. She never dressed 70, and she traveled. Our last trip together was to Italy. I wanted to be just like her.

In my head I am still quite young though word retrieval is a problem and hints to my being older. I don’t think of limitations though I’m stuck with a bad back which curtails my walking. I dress exactly as I have all of my life though far more casually every day than when I worked. I don’t stop to think sometimes when I carry stuff. I forget I’m not 25 or even 55. I used to haul 50 pounds of cat litter into the house. Now I find 20 pounds a burden which leave my back aching. I am a bit surprised at that being so young and all.