Posted tagged ‘horse meat’

“When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.”

March 7, 2016

This morning was hopeful. I saw my first crocus in the front garden. It is bright yellow and is the only color I can see. The sun was shining when I woke up. The birds were in and out of the feeders. The coffee was delicious. Now, a mere three hours later, it is cold and dreary. I don’t know where the sun went, but it disappeared quickly. The crocus is closed. The world is back to being grey and dreary.

I spend two hours with my neighbor. We chatted about foods, relatives, weather and the  verb doesn’t. She seems to prefer don’t as in he don’t. I told her I’d start charging her money for all the times she uses the wrong verb. My grandmother and my father used don’t all the time and they were born in this country. I might be fighting a losing battle.

Gracie and I are going out later. She is out of canned food, and I am out of bread, two essentials for our lives. Lately I have been into naan. Gracie has been into whatever I feed her.

When I was a kid, our boxer, Duke, ate two cans of food every day. Back then it was horse meat. It smelled gross. I hated when it was my turn to feed Duke. I’d turn my head away as I was spooning his dinner into his dog bowl. Duke loved his dinner.

My electric can opener is among the missing. I moved it from the counter and now I can’t find it. I am back to using the old silver can opener where you turn the wheel around the cover. It works great except on the larger cans. With some cans I use a churchkey mostly when something to be poured is in the can. I also keep a churchkey in my car. It is one of those things you need when you don’t have it.

Every time I travel I take my Swiss Army knife. It has every possible gadget I might need on my journey. It used to be with me but now it travels as cargo being a weapon and all. I’ve have it forty-seven years. The tweezers and the toothpick are missing, but other than those, the knife is in perfect condition. I have a really small one I keep on my keychain. It comes in handy.

On the Amazing Race last week one of the tasks was to put together a Swiss Army knife. It is done by hand piece by piece, blade by blade. Now I know why they are so expensive. When the teams were leaving for Switzerland, one team member wanted to know what language is spoken there. Swiss, of course, was the answer. The best question of the season so far was also last week. In what country is Switzerland?

“Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.”

May 15, 2014

The day is warm. The sun pops in and out. It is an open the windows and let the fresh air in sort of day. I have an errand or two to do later. I still walk oddly because of the aches and pains left over from the fall, but I have to go out. I figure the cats will want to be fed later as they just got their last can. What’s with these animals wanting to eat every day?

Gracie eats the best food. The list of ingredients starts with meat then goes on to the fruits and vegetables. I swear if I heated the turducken and served it over toast people would enjoy it, but it was different when I was a kid. Duke, my boxer, ate two cans of dog food a day, of horse meat. Feeding him was gross as the food didn’t smell good and the last thing I was for it to touch me. It also gave him room clearing gas. Most were of the silent but deadly form. It was always best to sit up wind from Duke.

Some of my friends squealed at spiders. I always thought that was silly. Spiders had no interest in us. They were hoping for flies or other stray insects though I do sometimes think of The Fly caught in the web and yelling, “Help me. Help me,” as the spider slowly walked toward him. I did figure, though, that was an anomaly. Some noises in the night scared me like people walking or the window getting scratched, but I wore a brave front and always asked, “Is anyone there?” Now that is silly. What homicidal maniac is going to answer, “I am, and I’m here to dismember you.” I had this idea that if I sounded brave I’d scare away the man with hook or the hatchet. As I never saw one, I must have been successful.

I used to walk home at night from being with my friends. No one walked in my direction. The rest walked together the other way. Once a police car stopped and offered me a ride home. He knew me which is why he stopped. I took the ride. When he got to my street, he turned on all the lights and let me out. I figured the neighbors were watching from all their windows wondering what was going on. I waved and went inside the house. I was never afraid walking home alone. The biggest news in the police blotter of the local paper was woman hears sounds in her yard, kids making noise, and cars leaving rubber and speeding. My town was not a hot bed of crime.

“Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.
”

February 12, 2013

Clean, warm and happy describes me perfectly. The sun is out, snow is dripping off the roof, and the ice will soon melt. I hear the blast of heat from my furnace, the sweetest of sounds.

The road was black ice when I went to get the paper this morning. It had rained last night then the rain froze. As luck would have it, my paper was under the car. I needed to get the broom so I could push the paper out from underneath so I had to go back inside the house, a scary venture given my history with ice, but both times, in and out, I took minced steps. The road was so slippery ice skates would have served me better. The last thing I wanted was another fall. I still have pain from the first.

Gracie has been out most of the morning. She is my weather barometer. Speaking of which, the paper mentioned that unless the government decides to replace aging weather satellites, our polar-orbiting satellites will not be accurate for forecasting weather by 2016. Sandy’s landfall and this storm were accurately tracked and predicted by the European center for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts while the best model we have didn’t predict this as a really big storm. Soon enough I’ll have to rely on cranky knees and elbows for my forecasts. Oops, my back hurts, must be rain coming.

Today I step outside into the world, my first time since Friday. I suspect nothing has changed though, without TV or newspapers, I did miss some world-wide news. The Pope resigned and horse meat was taken off the grocery shelves. That news was still headlining yesterday’s paper. On the sports’ page, Red Sox spring updates have begun. Pitchers and catchers are already at spring training. Perhaps the Sox will do better than the cellar, their last occupied spot in the standings.

The local schools are not open again today. Even when I was a teacher, I loved snow days though today is more like a shelter day as the high school is still being used as one. Not everybody has electricity back. Thursday is the day being tossed about by NStar as to when all will be restored. If it were my house, I know they would find me sitting on the couch frozen and looking much like Jack Nicholson did in the maze at the end of the Shining.

I seem to have written far more than I expected for someone who has been living a sheltered life. Maybe tomorrow, after my jaunt outside, I will be bursting with news, jokes and commentaries about the world at large.

Did I mention I’m going to the dentist?