Posted tagged ‘bad movies’

“They said it was only a ground shark; but I was not wholly reassured. It is as bad to be eaten by a ground shark as by any other.”

July 13, 2013

Sometime during the early morning it must have rained. The sides of the street were wet when I went to get the papers. The day is still damp and cloudy, but I like it. Though humid, the air is cool. Tomorrow will also be cool but starting Monday it will be back to the closed windows and air conditioning. The prediction is for temperatures in the high 80’s.

My landscaper and I chatted today. He loves taking down trees and clearing yards. He said the side front lawn is being taken over. Just beyond it is an area left untouched and filled with trees though a row of day lilies separates it from the lawn. Sebastien pointed to branches hanging over the lawn. “Those need to go,” he said and smiled. I had to agree. Some are dead, and the rest drop leaves and pine needles on the lawn. Another branch from a side pine is also dead, and he’ll have that cut down as well. He gave me the bird’s nest, beautifully constructed and with branches hanging below it. There were pieces of plastic mixed into the construction, and I saw that frond I had left on the lawn intertwined with small branches. A few weeks back I thought I saw the parents and the baby so I checked later and the nest was empty. Now the forsythia can be trimmed.

I have one errand today then the rest of the day will be dedicated to reading and lolling about on the couch eating bon bons. I am not even going to make my bed. It will only get messed again tonight

Okay, I saw the worst science fiction movie ever the other night, one made by the syfy channel. It was Sharknado. Yup, sharks were swimming inside funnel clouds which had picked them out of the ocean and then dropped them into swimming pools, city aqua-ducts and on streets. No one was safe. The man scoffing our hero’s warning that sharks were in his pool got eaten. It served him right. I love watching the sharks swimming inside the funnel clouds, but my favorite part was at the end. Our heroine got swallowed, and our hero with a chain saw in hand got swallowed on purpose. The shark was lying on the sidewalk when all of a sudden you could hear the chain saw coming from the inside and then you could see the blade making a long slit in the side of the shark. Our hero cut a large enough hole to drag himself and our heroine out of the shark. All was well.

“The whole point of the week is the weekend.”

May 25, 2013

Last night I again fell asleep to the sound of the rain, but it was far gentler than the torrential rain of the night before so I didn’t need to shut my window. The rain has left the day chilly and damp. More rain is expected later. My grass has grown to such a monumental height several snakes could be hiding in it.

I need to get out of the house. It has been two days of staying home and watching bad movies, really bad movies, all the way through to the end. The worst by far was Dino Wolf. The plot was simple: human DNA was mixed with a prehistoric dire wolf skeleton and resulted in a hybrid monster with a taste for human flesh. The monster was the best actor in the movie, and it had no lines, just a lot of snarling and grunting. I sort of recognized one of the human actors but couldn’t come up with his name. It was Gil Gerard. I’d fire my agent if I were Gil.

I have a high tolerance for bad movies. They make me laugh. My sister Moe shares the same fondness for B movies. Each Christmas we try to out-do each other in finding and gifting the worst movie. Last year I gave her The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, a favorite of mine, and the year before I gave her the Christmas movie Santa Claus made in 1959 in Mexico. Santa lives in outer space and is helped by Merlin. He goes to Earth and must defeat the devil who is bothering poor little Lupita. My sister has been out-done the last two years. I think nothing will ever be worse than Santa Claus. In the comment section I’ll leave the link to YouTube and the movie. I watched it all the way through when I bought it. I wanted to see if Santa would win!

The bridges are filled with on-coming cars this morning. I have no idea why. The weather is supposed to be bad today and tomorrow, but it seems the weekenders are not deterred. Next door, at the rental, there are two cars from New York. They come every year for this weekend and usually sit on the deck and party a bit, but they won’t this year. As for me, I’m staying off the main roads. They’ll be clogged with people looking for something to do. Gracie and I will meander on the side roads with no destination in mind. It’s the meandering we want.