Every day is beautiful. I wake up to sun and blue sky. Henry goes out, and I follow him to the deck and stand in the sun and the warmth. It will be a hot day, a still day, in the mid 70’s, but tonight it will drop to the 50’s and usher in a bit of cold weather. It rained during the night, not much though. I knew it rained only because I could see where the drops fell in the pollen. They made sort of a weird design on the deck.

Being alone so much has been getting to me. My patience is on the short end. Henry hides upstairs. He is tired of listening to me. Jack just sleeps. I tell both of them everything much to their dismay. They even look bored. I do miss people and conversation.

When I was a kid, I loved walking to school on days like today. The mornings still had a bit of chill but not so much we needed sweaters though my mother insisted. The walk was easy. It was down the hill, around the field then a straightaway to school. We’d hang in the schoolyard until a nun came outside and rang the bell. It was a hand bell in those days. We’d run and get into our lines grade by grade. Nuns needed order. In the classrooms there were usually at least 40 of us. Despite that, it was quiet. No one dared talk and bring down the wrath of the nun in front of the room who, despite her wimple, saw everything. Nuns were endowed with superhuman powers.

Cheeseburgers are on my top ten list of foods. I sometimes add tomatoes but not lettuce. I like mayo on my burgers. The cheese changes. Lately it has been Monterey Jack. Hot dogs are my go to food when I haven’t wanted to cook anything which isn’t quick and easy. I actually ate a salad the other day, one which came prepared. My system had no idea what it was. Even Henry, the chow hound, turned up his nose. He is more of a fruit fan.

I have to go out today for the third time this week. That is a record for me.

Last night I lost electricity. 74 other houses also went dark according to the electric company. The television, the light in the den and the light in the kitchen went dark with a finality. I thought I heard a bang. I went and got the lantern from the kitchen then sat back on the couch. Henry immediately leapt on the couch and sat beside me. His whole body was shaking. I put my arm around him, spoke quietly and patted him. It took a while, but he stopped shaking and sighed as he laid down. I hated to move from Henry, but in a bit I had to go to the bathroom. I swear Henry walked so closely behind me he stepped on my slipper. I then went to the front door because I thought I saw lights at my neighbor’s house. I did, three of them, but they were outside, solar I suspect. Later, I thought I heard a truck so I opened the front door. An electric company truck was at the end of the road. Henry didn’t follow me to the door, and though I was gone only a couple of minutes, he was shaking when I returned to the couch, but he did take the cookies I had brought for him. The lights were out for over three hours. 

Yesterday I put Mason jars on the deck rail right outside the door. The tops of the jars have a solar disk and inside each is a small sets of lights. I turned them on and left them. Last night all but one of them was lit. They looked beautiful so bright in the darkness, such lovely lights.

Today is May on Cape Cod. The sun is shining. When I look out my window, I can see the leaves on the oak tree glinting in the sun and blowing in the breeze. The sky is blue and cloudy with white wispy clouds. It is 62˚ but feels a bit colder because of the breeze. The high today will be 64˚.

When I was a kid, I don’t remember bad days. I remember bad moments, bad hours and bad things happening to me, but the badness came and went. I had a bad day yesterday. I was close to tears over several things. I dropped and broke a favorite dish from Ghana. It had been a gift from my sister. The trash bag split at the seam on its way to the car. The cat box was disgusting even though I clean it every day. It was the litter itself which was gross. I went to eat a scone. It had a bit of mold. One leg of my favorite around the house pants tore, actually wore away. That comes from me resting my elbows on the tops of my legs when I type at the table. The loss of electricity was next, three hours of darkness and a shaking dog, poor Henry.

That brings me to today. I had an English muffin for breakfast but the best part was the butter: Bosc pear butter with nutmeg and vanilla. That butter was so delicious I wanted to eat it from the jar with a spoon but adulthood crashed my dream, and I put the butter longingly away; however, I’m thinking I want another English muffin slathered with that pear butter. Maybe I’ll use a spoon. Today is a good day so far.