“Jodie “Butterbeans” Edwards and Susie Hawthorne were, from the early ’20s through the ’50s, one of the top comedic music acts on the black vaudeville circuit, from New York to Chicago to Detroit. Working as Butterbeans & Susie, they were masters of comic timing and the double-entendre in their interaction. In her stage and recorded persona, Hawthorne was the model for dozens of other dominant but frustrated wives throughout the history of stage and recorded entertainment in the 20th century, while Jodie Edwards made the role of the inadequate husband sing with laughter. The comic setup was a common one in entertainment, in the white as well as the black community, but they were considered too raunchy for white audiences.” From AllMusic
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I Wanna Hot Dog for My Roll: Butterbeans & Susie
March 27, 2012“The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.”
March 27, 2012No lingering today to take in the morning: it was too cold. I hurried inside with my two papers in hand and found the house warm and filled with the smell of freshly brewed coffee. I sighed.
True to my word, I stayed home yesterday. I did laundry but I didn’t even make my bed. The two cats were lolled on the comforter when I went upstairs, and I didn’t have the heart to roust them. After all, Maddie has been doing a bang-up job dispatching mice so I figured this was a small reward. Right now they are sleeping in the sun from the front door.
The sun is bright and the sky blue, but they’re deceiving. It’s looks like a lovely day, a day to enjoy the sun, but it’s still cold at 33°. The male cardinal came back and found the feeder I had filled with a special seed cardinals like. He’s hanging around perched on branches near the feeders so I guess he’s happy with my offering. The feeders hanging on tree limbs are swaying back and forth in the wind. The birds don’t seem to mind. They just sit and eat and sway.
When I was young, I wanted snow but not rain. I wanted to ride my bike as soon as the weather allowed. I ate vegetables but those I didn’t eat far out-numbered those I did. I loved to make a mound of my mashed potatoes and would put an indentation in the middle. That was for the gravy, and I used to try my best not to let the gravy overflow the mound. I only used ketchup on my French fries, never my eggs and never on hot dogs. I loved Rice Krispies but not Cheerios. I always put sugar on my cereal. The best part was lifting the bowl and drinking the sugary milk left when all the cereal had been eaten. I could never cut the bologna off the roll thin enough. My sandwiches all looked deformed. My mother always bought French’s yellow mustard in the small glass jar and Cains mayonnaise which is locally made. I always put mustard on my bologna. My mother put small slits down hot dogs then she’d fry them until they were browned. My mother was a believer in butter, never margarine. I preferred soft-boiled eggs when I was young because it was fun to dip the toast in the yolk. The game was to try not to get any yolk down the egg cup. I usually lost.
Now, I prefer rain over snow. I eat more kinds of vegetables than I don’t. I buy my bologna sliced, thinly. I never buy yellow mustard. I love all sorts of mustards and always three or four different kinds are in the fridge. I seldom eat cereal, but if I do, I don’t add sugar. Once in a while I have a soft-boiled egg but I don’t put it in an egg cup. It goes in a bowl, and I use crumbled crackers instead of toast. My mother used to do that, and now I do. I love hot dogs on the grill, and I always put slits down the length. I can’t imagine eating them in other way.
“What terrified me will terrify others; and I need only describe the spectre which had haunted my midnight pillow.”
March 13, 2012I am possessed. There is no other way to describe it. I think it is by some old lady who spent her life cleaning homes or buildings. I have proof. Yesterday I attacked and cleaned one of my biggest cabinets. I was tired of stuff falling out every time I was looking for something so I took everything out. In the way back of the cabinet I found all of the chewed pieces of paper from when the mouse lived there. That was disgusting. I also found half-filled bottles of the same thing so I poured and managed to throw away the empty duplicates. I found stuff I didn’t even know I had. Who needs three aluminum foil boxes? Obviously I do. How about two unopened boxes of Cling Wrap? Last week my nephew wanted 3 in 1 oil which I knew I had but he couldn’t find. Well, I have three of those. I also found lemon oil which is on my shopping list. That led to the next chore.
I oiled the old desk in my bathroom. You probably wonder why a desk is in my bathroom. Well, it is a small narrow, pull down front desk, and I keep my guests linen there. That bathroom has a school theme. No, it is not a reflection on my education!
Next, I mineraled oiled the butcher block in my kitchen then I noticed my dining room table. It has a stain but no finish so out came the lemon oil and I oiled the table and a small stool.
I want the haunting to stop and I want the old lady gone. It is not me to tackle such obscure tasks. The most I usually do is use my sleeve to dust and I’m quite happy with that accomplishment; however, I can hear another couple of cabinets calling me, and I’m forcing myself to stay away from them. I know the old lady is itching for me to get at them.
All of that work and staying up too late caused me to sleep until eleven; that’s right eleven. It was a put a mirror under her nose to see if she’s breathing sort of morning. The animals stayed right with me.
I do have to go out as I have a short list of things I need. What is going on? Here I am cleaning and now grocery shopping. I need an exorcist.
“Forget about being world famous, it’s hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.”
March 3, 2012Gee, it’s raining. What a surprise! I was shocked when I woke up and saw yesterday and the day before and the day before that outside my window. The difference is today is warmer at 50°.
It’s sci-fi Saturday when I get to watch a whole day of TV filled with creatures whose main diet is man. Right now Manticore is picking out his entrée having already enjoyed several appetizers, nearly a whole village full.
I have to grocery shop today, my least favorite thing to do. I’ll go up and down the aisles filling my cart while in a stupor hoping to avoid conversation and the carts parked willy-nilly in the middle of the aisles. My list of what I really need is even boring, mostly household cleaning items. I can barely wait for the dishwashing liquid aisle.
You might have figured I am feeling a bit languid today. If my fridge weren’t empty, I might postpone the shopping, but I’m stuck hitting the aisles if I want lunch or dinner. Where is that housekeeper I ordered?
I used to love to shop in the market in Ghana. It was filled with colors and sounds and chattering in a language I didn’t understand but loved hearing. First, I’d make my usual stops: the beef meat market, my vegetable lady, the egg man, the pick out your chicken line-up and then I’d wander. I never knew what I might find. Some days I’d buy cloth to have a dress made. Once I found a watermelon. Usually I’d just fill my bag with onions, tomatoes, maybe garden eggs and a yam. I’d greet everyone,”Sanda kasuwa,” (I greet you in the market), and they’d return the greeting. I was a usual sight so no one took special notice of this white woman wandering the market.
I loved market day. It was every third day, and I’d go if I could. Now I get stuck shopping in the dullest of places: Stop and Shop. I know their meat will never turn green and I won’t find a partially formed chicken when I break an egg but where’s the adventure?
“Mathematics was hard, dull work. Geography pleased me more. For dancing I was quite enthusiastic.”
February 26, 2012Today is winter. The dump was freezing and the wind felt Arctic. I swear the people in the car beside me were speaking Russian. If records were being kept, the fastest dump runs in history would be today’s.
Last night the wind howled and the house shook. I was glad the new palm tree was nailed in places to the deck or it would have gone flying, a bit like the cow and the rowboat in The Wizard of Oz cyclone. All I did was snuggle even more under my down comforter and go back to sleep.
Monday was the worst day of the week and the worst of all Monday’s was the one after a vacation. That would be tomorrow around here.
We all knew school was inevitable. Hating to go only made it worse so abiding it as a necessary evil made it a bit more tolerable for those for whom school was anathema. I liked school or at least I never minded going. I liked most subjects except arithmetic because it was the only one which ever gave me any trouble. I used to hide my fingers under my desk so I wouldn’t get caught using them. I was a great carrier of numbers though. It was always the smaller ones which tripped me up, never those with three digits. I remember writing the 1 over the number the way I had been taught while in my head, I’d be saying, “And carry the one.” It was almost like a prayer, something we all learned by heart. My favorite subject was reading. We had a book series which we used from year to year. The books were filled with stories and poems with questions at the end. Lots of times we’d have to read aloud. I always felt bad for the kid who had trouble with words and for whom reading aloud was torture. “Sound out the letters,” was always the nun’s directive as if that easily solved the problem. What I thought was strange was our report cards graded us on silent reading, never reading aloud so I didn’t understand why we did it. I suppose to prove we could read.
I’m sorry geography as a separate subject has disappeared from most schools. It was always a favorite of mine. Only one part, learning the exports of all the countries, was never all that important to me. I liked the pictures and mostly I liked the stories of the way people lived. The tulips and the windmills, the snow on the mountains and the goats and sheep were far more fun than bananas and coffee beans.






