Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“I like the way my own feet smell. I love to smell my sneakers when I take them off.”

April 11, 2010

It’s overcast and chilly. The sun keeps trying to break through, but the clouds still hold sway. I went out for breakfast, as I do every Sunday, and I met my friend at our usual spot. It was almost empty. I figure a cloudy Sunday is seldom an invitation to be out and about early. It’s a take your time, drink lots of coffee and read the papers sort of day.

We wore sneakers when I was a kid, and every summer we’d get a new pair. Most times they were Keds. Red was my favorite color. I tied my own sneakers, but the bows were seldom tight enough. The laces would often come undone. My mother would then step in and help. I’d lift my foot to her and she’d rest it on her upper leg while she tied the laces in a double knot. Those knots were so secure they never untied even when I tried. At night, I’d pull and pull on the laces but couldn’t find the key to unlocking those knots. I’d end up prying off the sneakers, still tied. The next day I’d wiggle my foot into my tied sneaker and push until the toes reached the end. Sometimes, in the process, I’d flatten the back of the sneaker and have to stick my finger in like a shoehorn. It was never easy.

When I got older, only tennis sneakers would do, white and narrow at the toes. No longer was tying the bow a problem for me. The biggest challenge was keeping the sneakers white. Any mark was a catastrophe. Sometimes the sneakers could go in the washing machine. My mother would them hang by their laces on the line to dry. In between washes, white shoe polish hid the spots, but it had disadvantages. The white rubbed off on socks and clothes and the insides of the sneakers stayed damp for a while. It was never easy being a fashion icon.

I still call them sneakers and have a couple of pairs. One pair came with a fancy name. They weren’t sneakers. They were leather fitness shoes. The other pair is hot pink and made by Converse. They are the real deal.

“Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise!”

April 10, 2010

The sun arrived late this morning. It brought blue skies but not a lot of warmth. It’s a sweatshirt day. I’ll be out and about for a bit later as I have a long list of errands I’ve been saving for one swoop. I might even take a ride afterwards. It seems like a perfect day to meander.

The neighborhood is abuzz of activity. The warmer weather brings all the snow birds back from sunnier climes. The neighbor who lives behind me is here. Earlier in the week he cut down the huge oak tree which had been there since long before his house was built. For the last three days I’ve heard the hum of his saw as he cuts the pieces down to size. The neighbors beside me are here for the weekend. They are weatherproofing their deck. Across the street, Herb and Joanne are back from Florida where they’ve been since early February. Yesterday I saw Herb out cleaning his yard of winter debris. Soon enough he’ll be mowing his lawn. The quiet of wintertime is gone for now.

Gracie spends more and more of her day outside. She lies in the sun in the back of the yard or on the deck lounge when she’s seeking a bit of creature comfort. I know that feeling and can barely wait until every day is sunny, until every day is warm. The furniture is uncovered, candles are hanging off the tree branches, the debris from winter winds has been cleared off the deck and the storage bins are gone. Everything is ready for deck days and for dinners in the warmth of the evening and the glow of candlelight.

“We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls.”

April 9, 2010

The rain started gently this morning in a mist. It’s a quiet rain. If today were a summer day, I’d be on the deck under the umbrella.

Uptown was a special place when I was a kid. The square was always filled with people shopping. Old women, wearing dresses and hats and light coats in mostly dark colors, used to walk and pull their carts behind them. The carts were filled with packages wrapped in brown paper. Younger women pushed carriages or held their kids’ hands. I never remember seeing many fathers except at the barber shop and the Chinaman’s. Women shopped. Men did errands.

People stood under the theater marquee waiting for a bus. The buses were big and noisy, and their brakes always squealed when the drivers stopped. You could go to Medford Square and do some shopping or Sullivan Square to get the subway into Boston or Arlington Center through Winchester. The taxi stand was in front of Kennedy’s Market, but most people walked.

My favorite stop was the fish market. Even on the sidewalk I could still smell the fish, but I didn’t care. I use to lean my head against the window and watch the lobsters swimming in their pool. I could also see the fishmongers behind the counter. They wore dirty white aprons tied at the neck and waist, and they were always men. At Hank’s Bakery, the windows were filled with cookies and cupcakes and a pretty cake or two. It was always women who waited on you at Hank’s.

Where I live now has no square, no uptown. The stores are in a strip mall, and they are the same stores you find everywhere. The parking lot is always filled. Nobody walks. Everyone is always in a rush. I mostly go to the  supermarket. It has everything I need, but it has no character. It doesn’t even have windows.

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”

April 8, 2010

The day is again beautiful with sunny skies. It will not be as warm as yesterday, but I’m still content. This is an amazing April so far.

It was a shock. In the morning paper I read that Scrabble is issuing a new game in the UK called Scrabble Trickster. It will allow proper names and playing words backwards or playing words unconnected to others on the board. It is a sacrilege I say.

I grew up in a family which loved games. Every Christmas a new one was under the tree. I think the first board game I ever played was Candyland. All I had to know were my colors, and besides, how can you not love a game with a Gum Drop Mountain? Chutes and Ladders was next. I remember hating to land on the giant chute which sent you right back to the bottom. It  guaranteed your loss unless your opponent hit the same square. What I didn’t realize until I was much older was you got that chute for taking cookies and breaking the jar. All the chutes were punishments for bad deeds. The ladders were rewards for good deeds. All those little kids on the board were really morality lessons, but I think someone should have told me-I missed the point when I was little. I was too busy counting the spaces, moving upward or bemoaning my falls down the chutes to notice the kids, bad and good. From the first time I pulled it out from under the tree and played it, I loved the game Sorry, still do. I even gave it to friends recently for Christmas. We think it about the best game of them all.

Go Fish, Steal the Old Man’s Pack, War and Slap Jack were the card games we played. War seemed  almost endless. We usually gave up out of boredom before anyone won. Slap Jack sometimes got vicious. A hard whack on your opponent’s hand over the jack was the start of a fight or at the least an argument. Go Fish was fun, but Steal the Old Man’s Pack was the best fun. You got to take your opponent’s cards and taunts were acceptable. Those were the days when nyah nyah, na nyah nyah was the perfect insult.

No games needed batteries. Moves were made after throwing dice, picking up a card or spinning the arrow on a cardboard square. I remember it took a while before I got my snapping fingers to work right. Sometimes I even had to whack the little metal arrow a couple of times before it spun.

Even as adults we got together, my family and I, and played games. We’d sit around the kitchen table for hours. Cards were huge, and High Low Jack was the favorite. We played Uno, and I remember my father always forgot to say Uno and had to take another card. We loved it when he did. Kismet, the dice game, was another favorite, and we kept track of the high scores on the inside top of the box.

My friends and I have game nights. We pull out the Sorry, dominoes, Phase 10 and Bananagrams. We even play a silly kids’ game I call dog dog. I have no idea its real name but plastic dogs and cards are the game pieces. I never win dog dog which is probably why I keep forgetting its name.

“It is always exciting to open the door and go out into the garden for the first time on any day.”

April 7, 2010

The day is perfectly lovely, warm and sunny. It’s an outside day. Every April here on Cape Cod is usually chilly with a wind off the ocean so the last few days have been rare treats.

This morning my landscaper and his crew descended on the backyard. They cleaned up all the limbs and branches which had fallen victim to winter winds and took down two small dead pine trees. Gracie helped. She pulled and chewed branches on limbs being dragged to the truck. I watched from my deck perch.

My father used to come down in the late spring with all his garden tools and clean my yard. He’d push his lawnmower through the tall grass in the backyard and tell me to keep it up after he’d finished. I always promised I would and most times I did. In the front, he’d edge the beds and pull weeds. One spring he planted phlox by the front fence as a surprise. Every year it still blooms.

The forsythia in the front garden was a gift from my brother and his then girlfriend. A small shoot from it appeared in the garden last year and it, like its older brother, is now in full bloom. The yellow is a welcome sight as the rest of the garden is still shedding its winter coat.

My mother’s garden was next to her house. We could see it from the kitchen windows. It was filled with flowers of all colors and varying heights. A statue of St. Francis with outstretched arms stood in the middle and offered seeds to the birds who visited. I wonder if the people who live there now keep a garden still.

“An amazing invention – but who would ever want to use one?”

April 6, 2010

The paper mentioned the soil is 50°, and we are two weeks ahead on the growing cycle. I knew that when I saw my forsythia this morning. It is a glorious yellow, full and beautiful. It was a housewarming present thirty three years ago.

Life used to be so much simpler. This morning I went looking for the USB connection for my camera. It wasn’t in its usual spot, the place where I keep most of the connectors, like the ones for my cell phone and my IPod. While rummaging, I did find three orphan wires which must connect to something or I wouldn’t have saved them. I did find my camera’s wire but I’m still curious about the other three.

When I was little, just about everything connected to outlets on the wall.  A couple of lights and the TV shared an outlet in the living room. My mother had several cords connected in the kitchen. Her Mixmaster, her radio, sometimes the iron and the fry pan were all plugged into a single outlet. They piggybacked. Cameras were one of the few devices with batteries. The first camera I remember had a huge flashbulb screwed into a circle of silver. It was bright enough to light up the room. The shadow of the flash stayed in my eyes for ages, and I remember my father oohing and ahing from the heat of the flashbulb on his fingers as he tried to replace it.

The radio we had wasn’t clunky. It was small and square and had only an am tuner and a volume control knob on the front. The wire came from the back, out of a hard piece of what I think was cardboard with holes for ventilation. It hid the tubes. When portable radios arrived, they were called transistor radios. Now there were two: radios and transistor radios. That way we never got confused. My first transistor was huge by today’s standards, and it still had only two knobs: one for volume and one for am radio. I used to lug mine everywhere. I thought it a marvel.

I got older and the world changed. Transistor radios got smaller, flash bulbs were blue and square with four bulbs in one, Polaroid pictures were born and the TV was in color. I thought those were the  wonder years. Who could ever have suspected today?

“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.”

April 5, 2010

Easter Sunday was perfect. The weather was warm and sunny, and I got to sit on the deck for a while and drink coffee and read the papers. Dinner was sumptuous, and our table was at a window overlooking the ocean. We stayed for the longest time eating and talking and toasting the day, the dinner and each other. Last night the Red Sox were down 5-1 in the fifth, but my boys of summer rallied that inning and the next three to beat the Yankees 7-5. It was a heart pounding opening day. I must slept with a smile on my face.

I used to dread Mondays. When the alarm sounded at 5:15, I’d bemoan my fate as I dragged myself out of bed. It was always dark. The house was cold. No lights were lit anywhere. The rest of the world was still cozy and asleep. Now, Mondays are like any other day. Take today for instance. This morning I woke to the sounds of birds coming through the open window in my bedroom. The sun was shining. I could see blue sky through the tree tops as I was lying in bed trying to decide if I was ready to get up yet. Gracie was asleep beside me. When I decided it was time, I came downstairs, made some coffee and went out on the deck. Gracie was romping in the yard. I stayed a while and admired the morning.

Hating Mondays was never a kid thing. Back then, I took days and events as they came. I went to bed when I was told and got up when my mother woke me. Life was five days of school and two days of fun. If I didn’t feel good, I stayed home; it was no big deal. Besides, summer was the reward for a year of school. Even in college I didn’t worry about Mondays. I had a late class and summers I worked from noon to nine at the post office. I got to play at night and sleep in the next morning.

My first adult job was in the Peace Corps. Roosters crowing in the backyard were my alarm clock. I drank my coffee sitting on the front steps and greeting small children as they went by on their way to school. I could see a baobab tree and rows of millet. I watched women carrying stuff on their heads as they went to market. Every day was precious, including every Monday.

I figure it was working for a living that finally made Mondays odious. I had to work five days just to get two days off and never thought that fair. An alarm became a necessary intrusion. Mondays followed a weekend of going to bed late and getting up when I wanted, of doing nothing if that was my choice so I quickly learned to dread them. I didn’t know a single person who liked Mondays.

I retired on my birthday which was a Tuesday. On the Monday before, the alarm went off, and I sprang out of bed. I knew it was the last odious Monday.

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.

April 4, 2010

The sun just broke through the clouds. It rained a tiny bit last night. I could hear drops hitting the overhang outside the open window in my bedroom as I fell into dreamland.

The morning is a quiet one, as most Sundays are. My neighbors waved and wished me a Happy Easter as I drove by them on my way home from breakfast. They were coming from church and were dressed in their Easter clothes, in light blues and purples and pinks.

Today my friends and I are going out to dinner, and I’ll wear my Sunday best for the occasion. The restaurant is a lovely one right on the water. It isn’t often I go to restaurants without shelled peanuts on the floor. Today is an occasion.

The Red Sox open in a night game against the Yankees tonight, and I have been excited about this first game since the start of spring training. Baseball brings so much along with it. It makes me think of summer and hot dogs and the sounds of the crowd. I can already hear the crack of the bat and see the first ball sailing over the Green Monster. It won’t be long before the announcer says, “”Attention please, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Fenway Park.”

I wish all of you the best Easter if you celebrate and a wonderful Sunday if you don’t. I’ll be heading to the deck after this. I want to feel drowsy from the warmth of the sun. The lounge chair is all ready.

“You’ll wake up on Easter morning, And you’ll know that he was there, When you find those choc’late bunnies, That he’s hiding ev’rywhere.”

April 3, 2010

The day is already absolutely beautiful with a deep blue, cloudless sky and a warm sun. Fern, the cat, and Gracie, the dog, are jockeying for spots in the sun by the front door. Their fur is hot to the touch.

I don’t have near the memories at Easter as I do for Christmas. Clothes never made a big impression on me except for that one dress I mentioned in an earlier posting. I do remember being little and wearing white gloves. They made me feel grown up and elegant. My first pair of nylons was worn on Easter and trying to attach them to a garter belt took a bit of manual dexterity and some body twisting. My first few attempts resulted in the elastic swinging back to whack me. Those little metal clips left marks. Another vivid Easter memory is the grass in my basket. It hid the jelly beans so you got a surprise later on and it stuck to everything: rugs, clothes and partially eaten candy. We used to have pick off the stuck spears of grass before we could eat the rest of the earless bunny.

Peeps have long been a favorite of mine, the yellow best of all. Just call me a traditionalist. I also like them stale and hard. My mother used to open the packages and leave the Peeps to the air. My jaws ached eating them. We used to get colored hard Easter candy eggs. They had a white middle, and I don’t think they had much taste. The jelly beans were big and all the colors tasted the same.  I think they were just basket fillers. I know they were the last things I ate after I rummaged through the grass and found a few. Sometimes I’d get a panorama egg, the ones made of icing with the scene inside. I used to save those. One year I remember a woven Chinese finger puzzle. It sticks in my memory because I couldn’t get my fingers freed no matter how much I pulled so I panicked. Come to find out pulling was why I was stuck. New crayons were always a basket hit as was the coloring book. I remember being artistic when I colored the eggs in my new book. I’d draw squiggly lines of different colors and then shade the eggs, a trick I learned from my mother, the best colorer I knew.

All morning long we’d carry our baskets from room to room and nibble on the candy until my mother made us stop to save room for dinner. It proved to me that adults just didn’t understand the priorities in life so we’d nibble anyway when she wasn’t looking. Turkey or ham couldn’t hold a candle to a chocolate bunny.

“Hippity, Hoppity, Easter’s on its way!”

April 2, 2010

The sky is ablaze with sun. It is glorious today, and I’m heading outside after this. I’m going to uncover the deck furniture. I would love a band and some music for the unveiling.

I ran into a former student the other day who had graduated about twenty years ago. We hugged and chatted. She told me I hadn’t changed a bit. All I could think of was I must have looked much older when I was younger.

We never had school on Good Friday. It was considered a sacred day so we got to stay home. I really never cared all that much about the sacred part. I was just a kid and cared more about having the day off. We never had an Easter countdown like we did for Christmas so being giddy and impatient was never part of the weekend. My friends and I would ride bikes and play around the neighborhood like it was any other day. Easter Saturday was just about the same as every other Saturday. We’d have hot dogs, beans and brown bread for dinner, watch a little TV then take our baths. My sisters would cry when my mother combed the snarls out of their wet hair, and my brother and I would turn up the TV so we didn’t have to listen. It’s not that we found the sound heart-wrenching. It was annoying, just as my little sisters were.

My mother was always a bit busier that Saturday. She’d take off tags and iron any wrinkles in our new clothes then set them out, ready for the morning. After we were in bed, she’d go to her hiding place and bring out the baskets and the stuff to put inside then put them together. We never heard her. Falling to sleep the night before Easter was never a big deal.