Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“This might be the biggest parade we’ve ever had.”

October 10, 2010

If I were to look up the definition of a fall day, I’d find a picture of today with its blue sky, warm sun and a ruffle the leaves breeze.

I’m late with Coffee because of the Seaside Festival parade. I’m a sucker for parades, especially local ones. Today’s parade had fire engines, old cars, including a police car with the best siren sound, clowns, a few floats, the cub scouts, the girl scouts, a karate school and the local high school band. Smoky Bear was there too as was a Chinese dragon. Even St. Patrick made a surprise visit. It was lovely sitting and waiting for the parade to start. I just closed my eyes and let the warmth of the sun shine on my face. The parade lasted about forty minutes then I wended my way home on the back road, the one which follows the shore line. The ocean is beautiful today.

This long weekend is the last hurrah for the cape. The seasonal places still open will close after Monday, and we’ll get our roads back. The gawkers will be gone until next year. A ride on 6A will no longer be interminable.

When I was a kid, we never came to the cape for a vacation so it was a brand new place for us to explore when we moved here. I remember my brother and I hitched to Hyannis where my father worked. He was surprised to see us and not so happy we’d hitched, but it was the only way to get around. There were no buses, and my mother couldn’t yet drive. My father used to have to drive me everywhere. It made neither of us happy. Back then all the motels and stores closed on Labor Day so on the Tuesday after Labor Day, Route 28 went dark. Only two movie theaters were open all winter, one in Hyannis and another in Harwichport. The cape was pretty desolate.

Now, there are motels and restaurants open all year. There are a couple of malls and one has a movieplex with more screens than I can remember. The cape has changed dramatically over the years, but seeing the parade today reminded me that it’s still a place where people flock to local parades to clap for the fire department and the National Guard.

“An’ it all goes into the laundry But it never comes out in the wash.”

October 9, 2010

The day is inviting. It ‘s warm and sunny. A cardinal was at the feeder this morning, first one I’ve seen in a while. The weather report says 60’s today and 30’s tonight. That sounds like bundling weather to me.

Sometimes my dad would invite me to go uptown with him on a Saturday, his errand day. It made me feel special when he asked. My dad had his route starting with the Chinaman where he picked up his shirts, newly cleaned, pressed and starched.

The Chinese laundry, a long narrow building, had two windows on the front and two more along one side close to the front. The pressing machine was by the side windows, and I used to watch the man press shirts while I waited. He always looked hot and sweaty to me. The steam from the presser made a whooshing sound, and it billowed from the sides when he used it on a shirt. The Chinese man at the counter seldom spoke. He’d take the dirty shirts, always white shirts, wrap them together and hand my father a tag. Then he’d take the old tag from my father, turn around and look on the shelf behind him. It was filled with packages wrapped in brown paper and white string. The man would find my father’s shirts, take his money, and we’d be done, ready to move on to the next errand, but none were anywhere near as interesting as that Chinese laundry.

“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”

October 8, 2010

The day is beautiful and warm. I sat outside on the deck for a while soaking up the sun and watching the birds.

When I was little, I always wanted a train set, but in those days there were girl toys and boy toys, and trains were not on the list of girl toys. Dolls were and every Christmas until I was around nine or ten I’d get a new doll. As I got older, the dolls got smaller. The last Christmas doll was a Ginny doll. She came with clothes and pink furniture. I played with her for a while, but then I lost interest and she went on the shelf. Games were for anybody and so were bikes and sleds. Boys’ bikes had a bar across, girls’ bikes didn’t. It never occurred to me to wonder why. It was just one of those things. Later, I figured out it had to do with skirts. The only guns I ever wanted were Dale Evans’ cap guns, but I didn’t get those either. I guess a gun belt wasn’t really a girl thing. My ice skates were white figure skates; my brother’s were hockey skates. He never played hockey, but he was a boy and those were boy skates. I actually don’t even remember him skating all that much, but I grew out of a few pairs of ice skates, still have a pair in the cellar.

I had a doll carriage; he had a pedal car. I remember walking the carriage around the block with my doll bundled inside. My brother sped down the hill in his car with the pedals whirring as he flew. His car was far more fun than my doll carriage.

Since I grew up, the lines have blurred between girl toys and boys toys. Kids can play with whatever they want. I even have a train set.

“If we only knew the real value of a day”

October 7, 2010

I’ve lost count of the number of consecutive rainy days. The weatherman said sun today. He was wrong.

My mother divided the family pictures and made the four of us our own albums. I am the star of my album just as my sisters and brother are the stars of theirs. A few of my pictures have all four of us and some have my parents, but they are mostly just me on our family vacations, at Christmas, Easter, my first communion and confirmation, all the holidays and all the big family events. Every now and then I look through my album. I did that yesterday and realized I need to go back in time. The biggest chunk of my life is not there. The every day is missing from my album. It was never captured by a camera. No one realized that every day memories are the ones we hold and keep.

I would take pictures of my mother doing dishes, of her bent over the sink with her hands in soapy water. I remember her standing there every night. I ‘d be at the table finishing my homework while she washed the supper dishes. I have a picture in my head, but I think it’s a combination of memories. She is wearing a white blouse and ladies’ dungarees, the kind with the zipper in the side pocket, and the dungarees are rolled up to her shins. Her hair is damp from the steam of the hot water. She puts the clean dishes in the strainer then does the pots and pans. I look up every now and then, and my memory takes its own snapshot.

I’d take pictures of my father working in the yard. In the summer he wore old pants and a white t-shirt. He’d mow the lawn then get on his hands and knees to trim the edges of the garden and around the trees. In the fall, he’d wear a red jacket, a hand me down from his father, and he’d rake the yard then burn the leaves. I remember him on the ladder putting on the storm windows. I stood below and watched and remembered.

I’d take pictures of the places where we roamed all over town. Most of them are gone now, even the railroad tracks. I’d take pictures of the field below our house in summer and in fall and of the swamp in all seasons. The winter pictures would include the back paths of the swamp where the ice was so clear I could see branches. The spring pictures would be of the tadpoles and the summer pictures would be of the frogs.

I wish we realized back then the importance of every day.

“Each day has a color, a smell.”

October 5, 2010

It is a put a mirror under her nose to make sure she’s breathing sort of morning. I went to bed really late, or early if you’re a stickler for exactitude, as I just wasn’t tired. I watched bad movies, read a bit and shopped through some catalogs. It was nearly ten when I woke up. Even the animals slept in with me. The day is rainy and chilly. I think I chose a good morning to stay in bed. I hate wasting sun.

Smells are amazing. They let us travel through time and space. One of my favorites is the aroma of freshly baked bread. When I was a kid, two bakeries in the square made their own bread, and I’d sometimes buy a roll still hot from the oven. It didn’t need butter. It was sweet enough on its own.

Fall is still the smell of burning leaves for me. I always thought of smoke signals when I saw piles of burning leaves with their gray smoke snaking into the air. In my memory, the day was always chilly and standing near the fire was warming. My clothes smelled like the burning leaves, and I hated to put them in the wash. Christmas smells like a fir tree. I remember walking downstairs every morning and smelling the tree in the living room. Christmas couldn’t come soon enough. On Thanksgiving, the house was filled with the smell of the turkey roasting in the oven. The kitchen windows were covered in steam, and I couldn’t see outside. I’d watch my mother baste the turkey, and we’d share a small piece of the crusted stuffing she’d pull off the end.

The smell of charcoal lighter fluid brings back my father. He was a firm believer in soaking the briquettes, and as soon as a match hit them, the flame would rise high into the sky. The whoosh of the fire always sent him reeling backwards. He set his pant legs on fire many times.

Burning wood is Ghana. Everyone used wood charcoal. Some villages were charcoal villages, and long logs were kept smoldering to make the charcoal. Every morning I smelled sweet burning wood as my breakfast was cooked on a small round charcoal burner. First it was the water for coffee, then the eggs while the toast leaned on the burner and was turned so both sides would brown. My dinner was cooked the same way.

At night, the sides of the street were filled with women selling food. They fried plantains in white enamel pots over wood fires or roasted skewers of Guinea fowl and chicken on screens over the fires. The town was mostly dark so the small fires looked like bright, low flickering street lights. The whole town smelled like wood burning, like a cozy fire in winter.

“Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.”

October 4, 2010

The day is damp and overcast. All the windows are closed. It’s dark in this room. The whole house has a Monday feeling about it. The weather forecast says dreary for most of the week.

I have always felt the coziest on dark, rainy days. I think it dates back to walking home from school in the rain and getting soaked. I’d run into the house, drop my books, hang my dripping coat then dash upstairs to change into warm clothes, sometimes even into my pajamas. If I had a good book, I’d nestled under the covers and read for a bit. My room, except for the light over the headboard of my bed, was dark. I could hear the rain from the window at the foot of my bed. I was warm and dry and happy.

On one vacation, in Maine, I remember a rainy day and a noisy cottage. I took my book, ran outside in the rain to the car and got in the back seat where I stretched out on my stomach and read all afternoon. The raindrops beat on the windows. They were the only sounds.

I remember sitting in school on rainy days. The lights were always lit. The room was quiet as if the rain had subdued us and our noise. Raindrops left rivulets as they fell on the long windows. Sometimes I’d follow one with my eyes until it narrowed and disappeared. The rustling of papers sounded loud. During silent reading, nobody fidgeted. I’d read with my head resting on my arms. Around the room, pages were turned, silently. No one wanted to disturb the quiet.

“Sunday is the golden clasp that binds together the volume of the week”

October 3, 2010

Last night was close the windows chilly. Today is also chilly and it’s overcast. Inside the house feels cooler than outside. I’m even wearing a sweatshirt. A little sun would help the day immeasurably.

As Sunday was the day of the week which never had much going on, we developed a Sunday frame of mind. For us, Sunday  meant dressing for church, walking to mass, coming home and changing then hanging around until the family dinner, the highlight of the day. After dinner, the afternoon was pretty much spent so we could never wander. We’d watch TV or play a few games. It was an early to bed night with school the next day. Sunday was boring.

Even though all the stores are now open and Sunday is much the same as the rest of the week, I still have that same Sunday frame of mind. I don’t do much on Sundays. I go out to breakfast then spend a leisurely morning reading the papers. I call my sister. In the afternoons, I watch TV, sometimes a game, sometimes a movie. Every now and then I even make a big dinner, usually a roast chicken. When I worked, I went to bed early. It was a school night.

It’s strange what we carry with us all our lives. I always changed out of my school clothes when I got home from work, even when I was an administrator. I swear I could hear my mother telling me to put on my play clothes. I’ve always thought of Saturday as the fun day and Sunday as the  somber day. Until I went into the Peace Corps, we still had Sunday family dinners, and when I lived on my own, my mother always cooked a special Sunday meal when I visited, usually a roast. I don’t shop and I still stay close to home on Sundays. It just feels right somehow.

“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.”

October 2, 2010

We got our rain, and I think somebody else’s too. It poured all afternoon and evening, but I didn’t mind. It was welcomed as we hadn’t had rain in so very long. The storm also brought us a cool day and one without humidity. The air is clear and the sunlight sharp. The forecast is for chilly nights, down to the low 40’s, for the next few days. That sounds like fall to me.

When I was kid, every Saturday had a routine: up early, Saturday TV, cereal for breakfast and a matinee at the movie theater if my mother had the money. If she didn’t have the money, Saturday was a roam around and see what we could discover day. We’d head to the woods or the tracks or uptown. We didn’t have plans. We were open to any adventure that came our way.

Saturday night was bath night.

My father had his own Saturday routine. In the morning, he’d head uptown to the Chinaman’s to pick up and drop off his white shirts. He’d get a haircut if he needed one then he’d visit his friend Pullo at the drug store before heading home to do Saturday chores. This time of year was yard cleaning and leaf raking and burning.

My mother did the same things she did every day. She made beds, cooked meals, washed dishes and cleaned the house. The only difference in her day was we were all home to drive her crazy.

When I worked, Saturday was errand day for me. It was run around town and do what I hadn’t time for all week. I never minded all that much. It was nice to be outside in the daylight.

Now, Saturday is a whatever day. I have a routine of sorts: the papers, coffee and writing. After that, I’m always open to adventure.

“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.”

October 1, 2010

Mother Nature seems to be extending the summer just a bit longer than usual. The last few days have been hot, and by the time I went to bed last night, it was still so uncomfortably warm and humid I ran the air conditioner in my bedroom. The paper says rain this afternoon, but the day belies the forecast. It is sunny and warm with a deep blue sky. It is deck weather again.

During my first week in Ghana, we sat in a group lecture to learn about Ghana’s culture and languages. Back then, I was the poster child for Boston accents and a great source of humor for my fellow trainees. Prior to the lecture, I had been asked if I would stand up and recite a sentence aloud. I did, and after I’d finished, there were quite a few laughs at the oddity of my accent. The Peace Corps staff member giving the lecture told the group that what they’d just heard was as close to Ghanaian English as anyone of us would get. I smirked.

It took a while for me to learn to speak Ghanaian English. The first month of teaching was a nightmare. I’d teach the whole period, and usually, at the end of the lesson, a student would raise her hand, stand up and say, “Madame, we didn’t hear you.” That meant they didn’t understand a word I’d said. Every lesson was discouraging. I was depressed and lonely and decided I’d leave before Christmas if things didn’t change. Why stay if I was ineffective?

I did learn to speak Ghanaian English well before Christmas. I learned to speak slowly. I learned that words like leTTer, beTTer and waTer had a stress on the T. Students no longer had trouble hearing me. I forgot about leaving.

A strange phenomenon took place whenever we were with our Ghanaian friends. We’d speak regular English to one another then turn and speak Ghanaian English to our friends. We didn’t do it consciously. It just happened.

On the flight home, I asked the stewardess for some waTer. She looked at me and repeated, “WaTer? You want waTer?” I was being made of fun again. This time it was my Ghanaian English.

“A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.”

September 30, 2010

Yesterday was summer, hot and humid summer. It was a back to the deck day which started with morning coffee and papers and ended with me sitting in the dark enjoying the night air and listening to all of its sounds. Today is a bit cooler and far breezier but still warm enough for lazing on the deck. The paper said cold Canadian air is on its way. The nights will drop to 40°, perfect sleeping weather.

I took a ride yesterday. First I went to the garden center and bought bulbs. I bought hyacinths, dafs, crocus, though I am tempted to call them croci, and a few tulips then I headed to the shore road. As I drove over the bridges, the air was clear on each side of me, but further out, fog sat over the water. It was beautiful.

Every day my mailbox is bulging with catalogs. Some of them go into the discard pile without a glance. Others get a look through, but if I find nothing interesting, they too are discarded. The ones I save have dog-eared pages where there is something I might just order. Yesterday, one item took me aback. It was a plastic form for making hot dog shaped hamburgers. It’s just wrong. Hamburgers are round.

I know ground beef can take many shapes. If it’s square, it’s meatloaf. If it’s squat and round and you add gravy, it’s Salisbury steak. If it’s in a small ball shape, you’ve got meatballs. If you dress it up a bit and add noodles, you’ve got ground beef Stroganoff.

Ground beef is versatile, but the one thing it can never be is a hot dog. We’re talking apples to oranges, (though Christer might say äpplen och päron). Some things are just sacrosanct and never to be messed with. Hamburgers are one of them.