Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“I sadly want a reform in the construction of children. Nature’s only idea seems to be to make them machines for the production of incessant noise.”

January 5, 2016

I seem to be hibernating. Today I woke up at quarter to twelve and have just now finished my morning coffee and papers. I even had an English muffin, the one with nooks and crannies. During the night we got a dusting of snow. When I went to get the papers, I wanted to hurry because it was so cold, but I figured I’d slip and fall on the snow covered walk so I took my time and froze just a little. I am going nowhere today. I’m going to vacuum and that’s it for industry although I did dust a couple of spots using the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I have a book calling out my name so I’ll get comfy and read the day away.

My house is quiet. I can only hear Gracie’s deep breathing. She’s sleeping at the other end of the couch. The cats are also asleep but they sleep quietly. When I was growing up, I think the house was never quiet except deep into the night when we were all finally asleep. The TV was always on, and at least one of us was sitting in front watching. We sometimes argued about what to watch but not often. The choices back then were limited. My sisters played together, and their dolls talked to one another in weird little voices. By late afternoon my mother was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. I could hear pots and pans clanging, water running and the fridge and oven doors opening and shutting. By then Superman and the Mickey Mouse Club were on TV and we all sat and watched. Dinner was quick and noisy. The four of us sat at the table while my mother stood at the counter.  She always did that. My father was seldom home in time for dinner. After we had eaten, it was back to the TV for a bit then it was time to get washed up and put on our pajamas. My sisters went to bed first. My brother and I were older and had a later bedtime. I used to sneak and read under the covers as long as I could before I’d get caught. My mother knew I did that and was on alert. She’d yell up the stairs to tell me to turn off the light and go to sleep. The house by then was almost quiet. I could hear my parents’ voices from downstairs but I couldn’t tell what they were saying. I don’t think I really cared. Finally I’d fall and stay asleep until my mother woke me up the next morning, and we’d start it all over again, including the noise.

“January brings the snow, makes our feet and fingers glow.”

January 4, 2016

I saw a few snowflakes this morning. At first I wasn’t sure so I kept watching. I saw a few more, not many yet, but it is definitely snow. I checked the local forecast. The prediction is 2 to 4 inches by late afternoon. The sky has that snow look, a light grey almost white, so I’m believing the forecast.

Some things never go away. I love watching snow fall. When I was a kid, I’d sit at the picture window, my elbows resting on the sill and watch the snow falling under the street light. Behind the light was darkness. The falling snow obscured even the neighbors’ houses. The road and the walkways disappeared. Everything looked the same. It was all snow.

I still watch the snow and keep track of how much has fallen. I turn on the outside lights in the back so I can get a close-up view, but it’s different now. Long ago, when I saw snow out the picture window, I had dreams of flying down the hill on my sled. Over and over I’d fly until I could no longer pull the icy rope of my sled for even one more run. I’d be cold, exhausted and exhilarated.

Snow is not for flying when you’re older. Snow becomes an inconvenience. The car needs to be shoveled out, the same with the mail box and the walkway to the car. I don’t do any of it. I just wait for it to be done. I used to do it, but I was much younger then.

I’m going to watch the snow. I still love watching the flakes, and I think newly fallen snow is pretty. It equalizes everything.

“Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn’t all a dream?”

January 3, 2016

Today is sunny and in the high 40’s. I have no complaints about this winter’s weather, at least not yet. We’ll see what January and February bring. A New Englander is an eternal skeptic about the weather.

When I went out for the papers, I found one of my decorative vases broken into several pieces all over the middle of the road. It had been taken from my front garden and smashed. I picked up the pieces, and in typical fashion managed to cut myself three times.

Every kid had a sled and a bicycle. Some of us also had roller and ice skates. These were all every kid needed, the rest was just icing. If stuck in the house, games kept us sane. We got a new one every Christmas so we had lots of choices. I still don’t like Monopoly. It took too long and was boring. My favorite from back then which we still play today is Sorry. I have even introduced it to my friends who are now fans in a Sorry kind of way. It’s a game you love because it can change in a heartbeat, and it’s a game you hate for the same reason. My sisters used to cry when I’d send one of their pieces back to start. My friends curse. It’s a grown-up game of Sorry.

When I was young, I had scrapbooks filled mostly with newspaper articles. I remember one book was all about the new Pope, Pope John XXIII. That was a huge thing in my life, the death of one Pope and the election of another. I sat in front of the TV watching the smoke and hoping for white.  That was the last Pope inspired scrapbook I ever made. I had one filled with articles from the paper which mentioned my name, no matter how slight the mention.  The drill team scrap book had programs, local articles, pictures and articles from the Globe when we won big.

I still have a couple of those scrapbooks. The tape no longer holds the pictures to the page. Where the tape was is discolored in the shape of the tape mostly in the corners. Every now and then I pull one out of the eaves and carefully turn the pages. At the playground one summer, I was the checkers and the horseshoe champion for my age group. I do have hidden talents.

“I want to caution you against the idea that balance has to be a routine that looks the same week in and week out.”

January 2, 2016

Today is windy and chilly. It is winter cold. Gracie and I will be making a dump run later. The dump is all open land with no trees or buildings so when the wind blows like today, it is so cold I always think of the Russian steppes. I can never empty my trunk fast enough.

I don’t remember it being all that cold when I was a kid, but I do remember the wind. It blew across the field at the foot of my street and the strongest wind would sometimes almost blow us away. We’d laugh and even raise our arms like sails so the wind could catch us. Some days we’d walk backwards as protection from the wind. Our collars would be up. Our hats were pulled down to cover our ears and to save them from flying off, from being borne by the wind. We’d hold the bottom of our jacket sleeves to keep the wind from sneaking up inside. I’d arrive home almost breathless and with cheeks reddened by the wind.

I never counted days until vacations. I counted days until Christmas but that had to do with Santa and new toys. Going back to school in January was no big deal when I was young. That was my lot in life so I just took it all in stride. Later, when I was older, I was far less pleased at the end of vacation because it meant back to my routine, to long hours which left little time for fun, for enjoying even the smallest piece of the day.

I figure retirement is a gift, a recompense for all those days. I have a routine of sorts which involves coffee and the papers and KTCC but then that’s it for the rest of the day. I fill the hours handily and usually happily.

“And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been”

January 1, 2016

Happy New Year!

The weather doesn’t look much different being grey and overcast, and I slept away the morning having stayed up way too late last night, but I feel a bit different, a little more excited for each new day. I have no expectations so whatever happens will be a surprise. I know I’m hoping to go back to Ghana in the fall with my friends, my friends from Peace Corps days. We traveled together all the time back when, and we lived in a duplex on school grounds. They are funny and are great travelers, and they love Ghana. It feels like home to them as well. How lucky we are!

When I was a kid, New Year’s Day wasn’t especially significant to me. It meant the end of vacation so it had a pall about it. I’d had a whole week of no bedtime and playing as long as I wanted with my new toys. I’d read my new books well into the night without being told to turn off the light. One week just wasn’t enough.

It really didn’t take long for routine to grab us right back into it. Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, walk to school, sit there all day with just lunch and recess to break up the monotony, sit back down after lunch then with great hoopla run home at the end of the day hoping for some outside play time before it got dark.

The funny thing is I never thought of that as a routine. I just thought of it as the lot of every kid. Weekends also followed a pattern. On most winter Saturdays we walked uptown for a movie. The sun was always low in the sky when we’d walk home. I remember that for some reason. When I was older, we’d often skate on a Saturday. We would walk to Rec Park and skate on the temporary rink the town put up every year. It was circular, and we always skated one way.

Sundays were seldom exciting. They were masses in the morning and family dinners in the afternoon before we were free. Bedtime came early on a Sunday. My mother always used the excuse we needed our sleep for school the next day. We never bought it.

“Approach the New Year with resolve to find the opportunities hidden in each new day.”

December 31, 2015

We are all back into our routines. It is as if I didn’t go anywhere. Gracie hogs the bed and Fern immobilizes my feet by lying across them. Maddie is in the guest room. The laundry is in process, and that is the last of my welcome home chores though we do have to make a dump run. I had a great time, but it is always good to home.

I never make resolutions for the new year. I used to, but I was just setting myself up for failure. I am at the stage of my life when I can do whatever I choose. Life is wonderful. I get to sleep as late as I want, go to bed in the wee hours, eat unhealthy foods, have dessert instead of dinner, get together with friends even on a week night, travel any time of the year, spend the day reading and embrace being a sloth. This last year has been all of those. I figure I’m darn lucky.

When I was a kid, I always tried to stay awake to greet the new year, but most times I fell asleep and the old year passed without me. When I was older, I went to parties where we all wore silly hats, blew horns and welcomed the new year with hugs and kisses and toasts to a better year. Now a few friends and I get together to play games, have great food and drink a bit. We do wear silly hats and blow horns. I’m thinking the new year isn’t official without them.

New Year’s Day never carried a whole of importance for me. When I was younger, it meant I had to go back to school the next day, but that was it. Even when I was older, it was just an excuse for a party. Every year was pretty much the same as the year before. That’s not true anymore. The givens are far fewer. Surprises pop up more often. Life is much more interesting when you don’t know what might happen. I’m looking forward to finding out!

Happy New Year!!!

“Heirlooms we don’t have in our family. But stories we’ve got.”

December 29, 2015

Home again, home again jiggity jig! I arrived home about 9:45 last night. The animals were thrilled. All three of them followed me around the house and two of them slept with me as usual. Fern nestled beside me and Gracie slept at the foot of the bed. Around three I heard a crash. Poor Gracie had fallen out of bed. She jumped back up and decided beside me was the best spot. She got the other pillow.

Colorado was freezing, down to 7˚ one night. Outside was only a bit better so I stayed inside. Here it is warmer and raining, but it started as snow because all the road and walks are slushy. North of us still has snow, the first snow of the winter.

Getting the flu was not on the planned itinerary and neither was giving it to just about everyone, my sister being the only holdout. I’m sorry I didn’t get up to my niece’s, but I did meet her husband and two kids. I also met my grandniece. She is definitely her own person even at 1 and 1/2. Being stuck inside was actually serendipitous as I got to spend so much time with my family. We sat around talking and enjoying each other’s company. That was what the whole trip was about.

All three pets are in here with me. Maddie is standing under the lamp while Fern and Gracie are asleep. Gracie is snoring.

Today I am doing nothing. The laundry will sit in the hall. The bed will be left unmade. I will be warm, dry and cozy. All’s right with the world.

 

 

“Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe. But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes – goodwill among men and peace on earth.–Albert Einstein

December 24, 2015

Greetings from freezing cold Colorado. There have been a few bumps both before and after my arrival. On Monday I packed Gracie’s bag. There was so much you’d think she was going to camp for the summer. I was guilt ridden, but I didn’t look back. When I got home about fifteen or twenty minutes later, there was a message from the kennel. Gracie had gone crazy when I left. She tried to escape twice. The kennel owner wanted me to know given her age and heart issue. I called a neighbor to see if any of her kids were around. Her son was on vacation. Either she or he would go to let Gracie out and feed her. The cat feeder said she would let Gracie out. Problem solved and Miss Gracie was thrilled to be home.

Tonight is the annual Christmas Eve party.  My attendance if iffy as I’ve been sick. If I can get through the morning, I’ll be there. Isn’t this just wonderful. I haven’t been sick forever, but here I am. Ho Ho Ho.

Tonight all the kids will be here with their kids. The little one will be off the wall. The piñatas will get whacked, the adults will stay out of the way and we’ll make merry with lots of good food and good company.

Tonight we’ll all leave Santa a cookie and milk. The reindeer get carrots.

Tonight we will celebrate the birth of a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.

 

 

“For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home.”

December 21, 2015

Today is warmer, and if weren’t for the wind would be almost tropical at 50˚. By Christmas Eve it will be in the low 60’s. That’s deck weather. I hope Colorado will be just as nice.

Today my to-do list runs for pages so when I finish one, I cross it off with a flourish! I love forward movement and am getting really excited at the thought that tomorrow is the day! My carry-on and Gracie’s bag sit in the hall just waiting to be filled. They’re on the afternoon list.

I watch Christmas movies most nights. Hallmark is always good for happy endings. No matter what happens, the main character will find love or a family or both. Royalty appears in more than a couple. The prince or princess hides his/her true identity, falls in love with a commoner, reveals the royal lineage and overcomes parental disapproval. The wedding occurs at the end of the movie. All is well.

The old Christmas movies I can watch over and over again. A Christmas Carol is a seasonal must. Alastair Sim is my favorite Scrooge. I love him when his hair is messy, he’s wearing his white linen nightgown and he’s giggling from pure joy. Patrick Stewart is a stern, almost frightening Scrooge so his transformation is amazing. Miracle on 34th Street is another favorite, but I’m not really all that choosy. I watch them all.

Christmas encompasses so much, but it all revolves around Christmas Eve and Christmas day. When you’re little, the day never seems to come. When you’re older, there never seems to be enough time to get everything done, but it happens. It all comes together. The presents are bought and wrapped, the tree trimmed, the cards sent and the cookies baked and decorated. We’re  ready for Christmas.

Christmas is so many different traditions and customs, but the one we share is spending Christmas with family, whether a family by blood or one by friendship. Tomorrow I will be with my family, my sister her husband, their three kids, their spouses and children. I am so very excited.

“Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.”

December 20, 2015

Winter arrived yesterday. It was 35˚ last night, and I had to wear a jacket for the first time as the wind made it feel even colder. Today is also cold but not as cold as it was, but winter won’t staying long. The weird weather we’ve been having will be back by Christmas. It could reach 60˚ here.

The play was great fun. Christmas on the Air was about a radio station at Christmas in 1949. There was a bit of drama, a few laughs and some wonderful Christmas carols. Dinner afterwards, at Felicia’s, was delicious. We started with shrimp and then both had fettuccine Alfredo and I ordered a side of sausage. Frank Sinatra played in the background just as he should. The place was crowded, no empty tables. The festivities have begun.

My neighbor and his three boys delivered pumpkin bread this morning. They also have a baby girl born last July, but Tiffany found time to make bread for all the neighbors.

I find myself filled with feelings of nostalgia this year. Riding through the square of my old home town brought back a flood of memories. The store fronts mostly look the same, but the stores are different. I called out their names as I went by. Hank’s Bakery is now an extension of the restaurant next door to it. I don’t remember the name of the store the restaurant replaced as I never shopped there. It had fruits, vegetables and cold cuts. The Middlesex Drug is now a butcher shop. My sister said it is expensive. The Children’s Cornet is now an Indian restaurant. My sister and I ate them and it was good except for the green sauce which burned my mouth.

The square is all lit for Christmas. Each tree has white lights and the town green, a new spot to me, has a beautiful lit tree of colored bulbs and an ice skating rink not yet opened. The fire station had Santa on the old police station roof. He used to be on the siren tower.

So much in my old home town has changed but so much somehow stays the same.