Posted tagged ‘sass’

“The wooden hairbrush has two practical uses, the bristle side to be used on her silken locks, and the harsh, wooden side to be used on her shapely seat of learning”

February 19, 2016

Thank you for all the encouragement. I have high hopes that Coffee will stay at its current address. I have joined Website Builder and will explore the site this weekend. I wonder if it has a view of the water.

Harper Lee has died. Her To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorite of all novels. I have reread it and The Catcher in the Rye during various stages of my life. I always find something I missed, and I learn new things mostly about people. Running around in my memory drawers are quotes which made such sense they stuck. “There’s only one kind of folks, folks,” is Scout’s view. Maybe it should be our view, all of our views.

When I was a kid, I was a wise ass. I know you find that difficult to believe, and you’re all probably shaking your heads in disbelief as you read this. It was my contention back then that my remarks, the ones which caused trouble, were involuntary. They just flew out of my mouth skipping my brain which might have cautioned me. My father was usually the receiver of my sass. He was an easy target who failed to see the humor. Mostly I just got yelled at and sent to my room. My father was, as I’ve mentioned before, a yeller, but I had learned at an early age how to ignore him but look contrite as if I were listening with the whole of me. Being set to my room was a gift, but he didn’t know that. It would be my main punishment until my teens when he’d ground me. Luckily he felt guilty and usually ungrounded me after a lecture, a small price to pay for the return of freedom.

My mother started out a yeller, but she could never carry it off. She made us laugh, but we pretended to accept the seriousness of her rant. One time, the last time we laughed, she made an unexpected return and caught us. That changed her whole approach. She’d throw her slipper and make us bring it back. We did, but reluctantly, knowing that her slipper could become a weapon in her hands. Once she threw a book at me, a dictionary, but I ducked. She got mad and left. I almost wanted to stop her and tell her never to leave as that was the worst approach to discipline. My advice to her would have been to escalate.

We weren’t really bad kids. We were mostly annoying. We’d yell and fight with each other, and that drove my mother crazy. She’d tell us to get out of the house before she did something for which she’d be sorry. We never believed her as my mother was easy going, but we left anyway. We’d grab our bikes and go off riding. It was my favorite punishment.

“The beginning of wisdom, as they say. When you’re seventeen you know everything. When you’re twenty-seven if you still know everything you’re still seventeen.”

April 14, 2015

Lazy mornings are the best way to start the day. I read my two papers, drank a fresh cup of coffee with each paper and ate a couple of pieces of Scali bread toast. The coffee, from Uganda, a new roast for me, was delicious.

I didn’t wake to eye-blinding sunshine this morning. The day is dark, a turn on your light to see in the daytime dark, and rain is predicted. I guess this is what we get after a beautiful, warm spring day like yesterday. It was 63˚. I’m okay with this on again-off again weather switch. Give me some more days like yesterday, and I’ll abide the rain.

My dad was a yeller, but by the time we were four or five we had perfected the art of ignoring him while looking interested and concerned at the same time. He didn’t expect anything, just us nodding our heads. We could do that. He’d warn us not to repeat the infraction whatever it was, and we were then free to leave or were send to our rooms depending upon the seriousness of what had irked my father. I always liked being sent to my room. It gave me some privacy and some peace. I’d nap or read, two of my favorites ways to while away the time.

I never learned to keep quiet, a surprise I’m sure. When I got older, into my teens, I always had an answer. To me the answers were funny and clever. To my dad they were me talking back, being sassy and questioning his authority. He was actually right. I figured I was in trouble anyway and there was a limit on what he could do so why not keep going, get a bit of satisfaction by driving my dad crazy. My brother and I used to have a friendly competition on which of us could drive my father the craziest.

When we were older, we were usually grounded, the ultimate teenage punishment, a forced imprisonment in our own homes, but mine never lasted long. My father always relented after a couple of hours. I knew he would as my mother had taught me to accept my punishment quietly without my characteristic witty retort. She told me just to let him rant and soon enough he’d be done, and I’d be freed. She was right. I always sat in my room waiting for him to come to give me the lecture. I always looked chagrined. I was good at that.