A Review of Yesterday 

People only saw a swift glimpse of red speeding up and down cape highways. One woman thought she saw a dog in the backseat but she couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t even sure she saw a car. The witnesses could only agree it was a red flash going at a speed difficult to calculate. Fearful cries rang out and 911 was inundated so to halt this growing fear I am admitting to you here and now it was my car driven by me with Gracie as the pit crew. It went from South Dennis as far as Orleans with stops in between. I had a list. It started with the dump, the coldest spot in town with winds raging across the open field. I think I saw a wizened old lady borne aloft by the wind. She didn’t wave. The next stop was almost as windy. At the parking lot in the shopping center, people were holding on to door handles hoping to stay on the ground. I made it safely to stop two: the sports store for stocking stuffers. Stop three, the hardware store, was protected by trees so my life was not in peril. Batteries are the bane of Christmas toys. I needed six AAA. They came in a package of four or eight. Of course, they did. The bank was a quick stop. I got all crisp bills for gifts to nieces and nephews and grubby bills for myself. Gracie got a dog biscuit. It was her favorite stop. We then flew down 6A to Brewster and the book store. It is a dangerous place. I wanted books for my two grand nephews and nothing else. I left with a filled shopping bag. No comments please. I have a defense. I found some neat stuff like small clasped sock-like bags, the kind Scrooge McDuck kept his money in, to hold those crisp bills. I bought myself a book, some special Christmas cards and a couple of stocking stuffers. It was a great stop. From there I had to go all the way across the cape to the speciality gourmet shop for crackers, the kind you eat not the kind you open at dinner. I, of course, didn’t just buy crackers. I bought a fig spread for cheese and a paring knife. The lady and I chatted. She is getting a puppy today and she showed me pictures. The puppy’s name is going to be Gracie, and that started more conversation. I left there and went to my final stop, Ring Brothers, which is an occasion of sin for me. I bought so many things I had to make two runs from the car to the house. I also bought lunch: two pieces of pizza. It was, by this time, close to 2:30. One of the things I bought, which was not on my list, was egg nog, a new kind for me. It comes in a glass bottle. I thought that was pretty cool, but it was also pretty heavy when you add a 6 pack of winter ale (for guests as I am not a beer drinker) and a bottle of champagne for those Christmas mimosas. Those I’ll drink. I crossed off the last items on my lists, which were actually orange juice and bread, and went home.

I ate lunch and them took a nap. I deserved it.