I am late again today. It has to do with my router and my new Apple products. Neither the iPad nor the MacPro can find my router and hence the internet for both of them is but a dream. I showed the router to them, how pretty it is and all, but they weren’t impressed. Both snubbed my poor old router. I decided to make sure it was the router as that was a guess so I talked to Apple who said it’s the router, and they couldn’t help me; of course, I already knew it was the router so that was a meaningless phone conversation. I called Cisco about the Linksys router, and they said sorry, warranty is out of date. Apple did suggest I update the firmware, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do, unsuccessfully, over and over. I decided to take a break and write Coffee. My frustration level was teeth grinding, which is high on the scale, and I don’t need another broken tooth.

More and more I’m appreciating board games where you spin an arrow or throw dice. I love hunting through the internet, but computer problems are seldom small, easy to solve or inexpensive to fix. I was an English major for Pete’s sake! Having a problem describing the characters in To Kill a Mockingbird? Call me. We can solve your problem over the phone or we can do a live chat on line. Having a problem with the theme of Hamlet?  Set up an appointment. I’ll have you spouting the answer in no time with quotes thrown in just to impress. Even if you’re really old, I’ll never claim your warranty has expired.

If I had three wishes, one would be to travel around the world. The next would be to write the great American novel still believed to be a myth though I think there were several, unconfirmed sightings in the Rockies. My third wish would make me a computer geek, though secretly: no pen holders in my pockets or unfashionable glasses on my face. I’d like to be something like a parlor trick. I’d sashay to the computer and just offer to take a look. In minutes the miraculous would happen, and I’d have the computer fixed and humming along. After that, adoring crowds would surround me, and I’d tell them it was just nothing, but my voice would ooze false modesty.