Posted tagged ‘darkness’
January 23, 2016
Today is hunker down day. The strong, howling wind is making the air feel even colder. It is dark like almost night time darkness. The snow is expected to start late this afternoon. The cape will get more than Boston. The last prediction I saw was at least 9-12 inches of wet, puffy snow. The worry isn’t the snow but the possible loss of power because of the heavy wind and the weight of the soon to be falling mushy snow.
Earlier four or five of the boys who live down the street were riding their scooters up and down in front of my house. Gracie loved watching them. I figured their mothers were thrilled the boys could play and ride and tire a bit before they are all housebound.
I have issues with snow. My house was 37˚ because the weight of the snow brought down wires. Once I was stuck in the house for almost a week before they plowed my street. I complained but it didn’t matter. You never know winter.
Despite everything, falling snow is still a wonder to me. I keep checking the windows hoping to see the first few flakes. Watching snow never gets boring. The angles and rhythm of the falling snowflakes are often mesmerizing. I stand at the door and watch, leaving only when I start to get cold. Gracie loves running in snow. When she comes inside, she is always panting, not from exertion but from excitement. Her fur is covered in snow, her face in Boxer spit. Gracie runs with her mouth open.
Five minutes ago I looked out the window, no snow. Just now I looked again and it’s snowing. The storm seems fierce because the wind is blowing the snow everywhere, in all directions. The flakes are big and are already covering tree limbs. It’s coming fast. I think they may have underestimated the amount of snow. I’ll keep checking and let you know.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 6-9 inches of snow, Boxer spit, darkness, freezing, housebound, hunker down, running in the snow, Snow, watching snow, Wind
Comments: 14 Comments
October 3, 2015
Much as I appreciate the rain, the darkness worms its way inside sapping my energy, making me sluggish and listless (which can actually be taken a couple of ways as I haven’t a list today. Despite my mood it seems I can still conjure a pun).
This morning the house was so cold I decided to stay in bed and did so for another hour. I read my new book so the hour was not wasted. When I finally came downstairs, I saw 61˚ on the thermostat. I turned on the heat to warm the house. Now it is cozy. All three animals are asleep for their morning naps. Each has her own room: Fern is in the living room, Maddie likes the cushions in the dining room and Gracie takes the couch.
While I was reading this morning, silent reading came to mind. I have no idea why. I haven’t heard or thought about that in years. It used to be a graded subject on my grade school report card. You either got a U or an S. I always got the S for satisfactory though it probably should have meant superb given how many books I sneaked and read during class time. The nuns didn’t teach silent reading as the name said it all so I used to wonder how silent reading was graded. What were the standards? Doesn’t move lips could have been one as moving lips is like talking. Doesn’t shuffle feet or look around could have been a couple more. Maybe posture was part of the grade, but that’s a bit of a stretch. The number of pages wasn’t a fair standard. Not every kid was honest. I really think it was made up so nuns could have a break whenever they needed one. I remember they used to tell us to read silently to ourselves. When I got older, I wondered how you could read silently to someone else, maybe in sign language which none of us knew, but I never dared ask. Nuns could be scary when they were mad.
Categories: Musings
Tags: 61˚, darkness, heat, new book, no energy, rain
Comments: 18 Comments
August 9, 2015
Today is chilly and damp, the sort of day when being inside the house is like wrapping a blanket around you. The house is dark, but I haven’t turned on any lights. I don’t mind the darkness. When I was a kid, this was a favorite kind of day. I’d lie in bed with the lamp on, the one which hung on the headboard, and read. I was never bothered as the TV drew all the attention, and anybody coming upstairs was heading to the bathroom and pretty much ignored me. I have nothing I need to do today so I won’t even get dressed. I will read away the day.
I was part of an easily amused generation when I was growing up. We didn’t have electronics or computers or cell phones. Board games were the best fun. We’d sit on the rug in the living room, set up the game and play all afternoon. The only movement in the game came when I’d move a man around the board. We’d play cards, even war which is about the dullest of all card games. Slap Jack was fun because you got to whack a faster player’s hand. We played Crazy Eights and Steal the Old Man’s Pack. I always thought that was a neat name for a card game and wondered why it was an old man, maybe because we already had Old Maid.
I remember sitting at the kitchen table coloring. The crayons were all different sizes. Some were full size but many were stubs worn down by use. I had to guess the colors of those as the paper had been torn off as the crayon was shortened. The older I got the better I got at coloring. I learned how to shade the colors, to apply the crayons lightly. Every Christmas I always got a new coloring book and new crayons. The books were mostly Christmas scenes and red, green and brown got a lot of use.
We did get bored sometimes stuck in the house as we were on some rainy days. I remember my mother going crazy when we moaned and groaned about nothing to do. She was expected to keep us entertained. I guess we always thought of her as the house cruise director. She was never honored by the title.
Categories: Musings
Tags: board games, chilly and damp, coloring books, crayons, Crazy Eights and Steal the Old Man's Pack, darkness, easily amused generation, favorite day, light on the headboard, reading all day, slap Jack, warm day
Comments: 8 Comments
July 14, 2015
When I woke up, there was sun. Now the day is darkening and getting breezy, hints of the rain predicted for the afternoon. My room is dark as I haven’t lit any lamps. I like my house in the unexpected darkness of a soon to be rainy day. For reasons I can’t explain the house is comforting in the darkness and in the quiet. I don’t even hear birds singing. The only sounds come from the rustling of the leaves on the trees hanging over the deck.
I haven’t been to a drive-in movie for years. Wellfleet still has one, but I can’t seem to interest anyone in going. I even promised to do the snacks but had no takers. We were frequent drive-in movie goers when I was a kid. My grandfather had a pass to every E.M.Lowe’s theater including the drive-in, and we used that pass often. Just like every other kid at the drive-in I was wearing my pajamas and my sneakers, no slippers in case I needed to walk to the bathroom. At intermission the playground was filled with kids dressed for bed in their pajamas and robes. The first movie was always one for kids, sometimes a Disney or a dog movie like Lassie. After intermission came the movie for adults. Kids presumably had fallen asleep. The adult movies were seldom recent releases but were a year or two old and would probably be PG-13 rated today. Sometimes I’d see a bit of that movie before I fell asleep, but by the time I was 11 or 12, I’d watch all of it, well most of it anyway as we always left before the end. My father was not one to wait in traffic so we’d get a head start and be the only car leaving so early.
We never bought anything from the concession stand as most things were too expensive. I’d sometimes check out the food and sometimes really want a hot dog, but I knew not to ask. We had plenty of snacks in the car. My favorite was the popcorn. My mother was never shy with the butter. We each had a nickel bar of candy bought at the corner store on our way to the movie. The jug was always filled with something to drink, but my father got annoyed if we wanted some too often as he was the pourer who felt abused by constant asking.
My family didn’t have much money when I was growing up, but I never knew that. We did neat things and the drive-in was always one of my favorites.
Categories: Musings
Tags: Clouds, concession stand, darkness, drive-in movie, films for adults, leaving the movie early, nickel bar of candy, PG-13, playground, quiet, rain, sun, wearing pajamas
Comments: 20 Comments
January 8, 2015
I’m running late. I changed my bed, showered, shopped a bit on line and watched CNN. There was no urgency in getting things done. In due time I thought. The tree is still in the stand, bare of Christmas and sitting in the middle of the living room. I tried to get it out of the stand myself, but I couldn’t. It is the only glimmer of Christmas left, and later today it will be gone. My outside lights continue to be lit each night. I am loath to return to darkness.
It was so cold yesterday I brought the bird feeders into the house to fill them. My sister thought it strange and said I should have bundled up and done it outside. I fear the cold has warped her thinking. There I’d be out on the deck layered and wearing mittens and fumbling to get the seed into the feeders. Getting dressed to go outside would have taken longer than the task.
Today is sunny, but the light is muted, even chilly looking. I am not going out. This will be the second day in a row of my self-imposed exile from the world. I have all of life’s essentials: books, TV and Christmas cookies.
Last night I cooked chicken. I rifled through my herbs and spices and found one I hadn’t used, Caribbean Calypso Spice. It came from Penzey’s Spices, an occasion of sin for me. I’m sure a few of you are shaking your heads and wondering what in heck is an occasion of sin. I’ve known since childhood as the nuns were diligent in teaching us to avoid an occasion of sin, “Any person, place, or thing that of its nature or because of human frailty can lead one to do wrong, thereby committing sin.” When I was younger, the list was long. Now that I’m older, I don’t even think I have a list. I live life with abandonment and am better for it.
I am wearing my new sweatshirt. It says Doctor Who and has a picture of the TARDIS. I am also wearing new slippers. I am warm and comfortable. I just ate a couple of cookies. I’m thinking this is a bit like paradise.
Categories: Musings
Tags: bird feeders, changing the bed, Chicken, Christmas lights, Christmas tree, cold, darkness, herbs and spices, life with abandonment, mittens, occasion of sin, Paradise, Penzey's Spices, self-imposed exile
Comments: 10 Comments
October 31, 2014
I never understood how there could be school on Halloween. Did the powers that be actually think we could concentrate on arithmetic or geography? Our minds were filled with thoughts of trick or treating not multiplication or the exports of Chile. Time seemed to stretch forever that day. I’d look at the clock and when next I’d look only a few minutes would have passed since the last time. I gave thought to a trick of the clock, even a haunting, but it was just me clock watching and agonizing over the slowness of the hands moving from one number to another. Recess was all about Halloween. We’d be standing in groups talking about the night to come and the costumes we’d wear. The bell would summon us back, and somehow we’d survive the last part of the day without standing on our desks and screaming out of impatience and frustration. We always ran home.
The afternoon seemed the longest part of the day because we were so close. I’d put on and take off my costume like sort of a dress rehearsal. My mother made us eat dinner. We’d beg to go out trick or treating, but my mother said it was too early, not even dark yet. We’d stare out the picture window begging for darkness or hoping to see the first trick or treater so we could be next. Finally my mother gave in and off we went.
We’d do the neighborhood first, up the hill and around the cul-de-sac. That took the most time. Neighbors were chatty. Finally we’d break free and head down the big hill out of the neighborhood. We didn’t follow the same route every year, but we hit some of the same houses, the nickel bar houses and the houses which gave us pennies. We’d avoid the apple houses.
I remember walking on the sidewalks filled with the shadows of trees from the street lights. I remember leaves covering everything and a few falling as we walked. Houses had their outside lights on as a welcome to trick or treaters. We’d walk all over town filling our pillowcases. When the lights started to go out, we headed for home munching as we walked. The walk home was always quiet.
At home, my mother would give each of us a bowl for our candy. I remember the bowls were white and had tulips on them. We’d empty out our candy then we’d trade. We’d eat as much as we could get away with. I remember every Halloween as being glorious.
Categories: Music
Tags: costumes, darkness, Halloween, nighttime, school, school on halloween, time taking forever, Trick-or-treating
Comments: 14 Comments
October 27, 2013
If you looked up fall in the dictionary, they’d be a picture of today. The sun is shining, the sky is a pale blue and the breeze is brisk with a bit of a chill. Fall is in full burst. My front yard is filled with fallen leaves and pine needles. The grass doesn’t needed mowing any more. Yesterday my irrigation system was shut down for the season, and today I’ll clear the water from my back yard hoses. It’s time to close down the deck for the season though I’ll save a place to sit on a sunny day, my big wooden chair. I love fall, but I find it sad when fall begins to move toward winter.
Summer is always exuberant. It is warmth and colors and the sweet smell of flowers wafting through the air. Every morning I’d get the papers and then stop to look at my front garden. I’d lean against the car and marvel at the beauty of the flowers. I always noticed a few empty spots and would get excited at needing to buy new flowers. I can never have enough flowers. I’d finally pull myself away and go into the house, get my coffee and go outside on the deck. It takes me a long time to read the papers when I’m outside. I stop and watch the birds at the feeders and Gracie in the backyard. I listen to the singing. I raise my face to the sun and close my eyes. Summer fills me.
Fall always seems to have a faster pace than summer, and I think of October, nearing its end, as the bridge between fall and winter. Fall has a unique beauty when the leaves turn, and the trees are filled with color, muted color. My garden celebrates the season with fall flowers. The plants I put in last year were in full bloom this fall, and I was surprised as I had forgotten planting them. This year I added three more fall flowers, and they must have been happy to be planted as they bloomed a week or two later. Of all the seasons fall surprises me the most. The days are sometimes as warm as summer while the nights get downright cold. The sunlight slants in an odd direction. Darkness comes earlier and earlier.
My heat comes on in the mornings now. I can hear it as I’m waking up. The days seem to be warm enough to keep the furnace at bay, but I doubt that will last too much longer. Winter is coming.
Categories: Musings
Tags: chill of the day, closing down the deck, coming winter, darkness, deck, fall flowers, fallen leaves and pine needles, flowers, furnace, heat, lovely fall day, newspapers, October, slanting sunlight, summer, warmth and color
Comments: 23 Comments
October 2, 2011
Today is one of those neither one nor the other days. It was damp and cloudy when I left for breakfast and now the sun is making an appearance. The weather for today was described as maybe: maybe it will rain and maybe it won’t.
The roads were empty when I drove to breakfast. People seem to change with the weather. In summer we’re all so eager to enjoy every minute of the day we leap out of bed early so as not to miss a single ray. As the mornings grow colder, staying nestled under warm covers is too inviting and leaping out of bed seems foolhardy. The light dies early this time of year and the mornings come later. Darkness seems to bring a sort of lethargy.
The river was quiet when I drove across the bridge. The tide is too high for quahoggers, and the cloudy day has kept the boats at their moorings. Soon enough those boats will be hauled out of the water for winter. They’ll sit covered in tarps in boatyards and driveways. In time, snow will cover the tarps, and summer will be a warm memory stored away, like the boats, for the winter. But summer will have its turn again. The boats will be back in the water, and every morning we’ll leap out of bed and greet the beauty of a warm, sunny day.
On the way back from breakfast, I stopped to let people, mostly couples, cross the street from the parking lot to the church. They looked old, even by my standards, and all of them were dressed the way we used to be when we went to church. The men sported jackets and ties and pants with perfect creases. The women wore dresses and hats, small, unobtrusive hats. As I sat there, the church bells began to peal. They weren’t loud, but they were perfect, “Church bells chiming on a Sunday morn.” I smiled the most contented of all smiles.
Categories: Musings
Tags: breakfast, cape cod, Church bell, darkness, summer, winter
Comments: 11 Comments
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