I apologize for missing yesterday, but I had an appointment, needed to do a bit of shopping, and when I got home, I finished some stuff around the house, like changing the cat litter. By the time I was done, my leg was pretty painful and I just wanted to take something, lie down with the offensive limb under the covers and have a nap. It helped.

This morning we have snow showers, but they’re not amounting to much, probably just a dusting. It is still cold, but not the single digits it has been. 33° feels like a heatwave. The clouds are a light gray, and from my window that’s what the whole world looks like. It is really quiet. My typing is the only sound in the house, and I hear nothing from outside: not a car and not a dog barking. My list of plans for today is short. I have one chore, watering the plants, and the rest of the day I’ll just relax and read. I could blame my idleness on my leg, but I don’t have to. I can do anything I want.

I forget how old I was when I stopped pretending. Maybe I was a teenager more mindful of boys and clothes and the future. That seems about the right time. I wasn’t a cowgirl any more or a knight or an explorer. I was me.

I have spent a long time learning about me. I came to realize early on that all that pretending was helping me become whatever I wanted. Nobody told a cowgirl she couldn’t ride the range. An explorer is meant to see the world. A knight is honorable and rights wrongs. Who could aspire for more?

I’m still learning.