Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

« home page
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.”

January 15, 2011

From my window, the day looks lovely, sunny and bright, but I know all that sun is merely a backdrop for the cold. It’s a day to stay in, stay comfy and watch the scify marathon of disaster movies. A black hole just ate St. Louis and is on the move.

I never noticed dust when I was a kid. I think the ability to see it comes in adulthood, for most of us anyway. I can see my house is dusty, and I’ve been using my sweatshirt sleeve as a dust rag as I walk by a table or picture frame, but that’s as far as I’m going. The rest of the dust can have its way for a while.

Today I’m going to start wrapping Christmas presents. Because of my surgery, I never did get to the Christmas box downstairs. Most of my family and friends got their large presents, but the smaller ones stayed in the cellar. I figure the disaster movies and wrapping will be fine ways to spend the afternoon.

Saturday was when I used to get my allowance. It was fifty cents a week, a tidy sum, and happily for me it was never tied to any specific chores. Many Saturdays I’d walk uptown and buy myself a new book. I always got a penny in change, and it too had value. My father thought me a spendthrift. He told me some of my money should be saved for an emergency. I was ten and couldn’t conjure any sort of an emergency even in my imagination which would demand my paltry savings. I had no idea my father was trying to teach me a life skill. I just knew I had fifty cents burning my pocket.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 12 Comments

“Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.”

January 14, 2011

Today is like yesterday, cold and cloudy. The slush has become ice ruts making it difficult to walk to the mailbox and the drive-way. I take such small steps I imagine my feet in dainty slippers, the sort Chinese dancers wear. I had plans to go out today, but I changed them. I’m staying home and staying warm though I do have to go out to fill the feeders.

My mother used to get really angry when we opened the cereal from the bottom so we could get the prize, and she’d threaten not to buy that cereal again. I never understood why it upset her. I figured one end was the same as the other when it came to getting the cereal out of the box. My brother and I took turns keeping the prizes though we’d often forget and end up fighting as to whose turn it was. That too used to make my mother angry.

The prizes were in a small paper like envelope at the bottom of the box. My favorite prize was the submarine which actually moved up and down in the water on baking powder fuel. I remember it was gray and was about the best prize of all. We’d fill the tub and play with that submarine for what seemed like hours. It was the main weapon in our imaginary war. I remember we’d yell, “Surface, surface,” though that was the sub’s decision, not ours.

I seldom eat cereal now. Once in a while I buy Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies, and I actually still listen to the Snap, Crackle and Pop once I put the milk in the bowl. Corn Flakes need some help like bananas as they are by themselves quite boring. For a while I used to buy variety packs and have the cereal as a snack. I’d open the perforation on the back and pour my milk right into the box. I thought that was sort of neat, in both ways, nifty and clean.

Cereal is really expensive now, but I’d buy a box if the submarine was in it. It wouldn’t matter the kind of cereal. It’s the submarine I’d want, and I’d open it from the bottom.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 18 Comments

“In books lies the soul of the whole Past Time: the articulate audible voice of the Past, when the body and material substance of it has altogether vanished like a dream.”

January 12, 2011

Mind you, I’m not complaining, but the snow storm just nicked us on its way inland. It was even raining when I woke up, and my street was covered in slush and had two ruts running down it where some brave soul had driven his car. Right now we have a sprinkling of snow falling, and the sun has appeared a couple of times from behind the cloud where it has been hiding, but I doubt it will stay long. It’s really cold and a wind is blowing the branches and dead leaves. The birds are in abundance at the feeders. Goldfinches outnumber my faithful chickadees. They perch at the feeder and sway with the wind. The rain has pockmarked the snow leftover from the last storm. Today is winter at its ugliest.

Last night, most schools had already chosen to close today, and their names scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen. I used to love snow days, especially when I was a teacher. It always seemed a gift even though I knew I’d have to give it back in June. It was a day I could do anything I wanted. I’d stay in my comfy clothes, read, take a nap and eat junk food. Nothing enticed me to leave the warmth of hearth and home.

In Sunday’s crossword in the Boston Globe, one of the clues was a Bobbsey Twin. It was only three letters so I knew right away the answer was Nan, twin to Bert, but I wondered how many solvers had to work around it to fill in the answer. The Bobbsey Twins were a favorite read of mine when I was young. Freddie and Flossie, the other set of twins, were too young for me, but I easily identified with Nan.

You can still find The Bobbsey Twins. Amazon sells them, but they, like Nancy Drew, have been sanitized and modernized. The pony cart, which I envied, disappeared and was replaced by a car. Language was changed to reflect more of a frame of reference for today’s kids. The difficult to read and understand language spoken by Dinah, the cook, and Sam, her husband and the Bobbsey’s handy man, underwent the most changes, and I’m really sorry about that. Their language, rich in metaphors and colloquialisms, has become flat, the same as every other character in the book. They have lost their individuality.

I went through a few of my Bobbsey Twin books and found some Dinah speak. Maybe today’s kids would have trouble deciphering what she is saying, but I don’t remember ever having any problems understanding her. Maybe her language was too ethnic so it had to be rewritten to reflect today’s social standards. The Dinah and Sam I knew and loved are gone.

A sanitized version of Huck Finn will be released next month.

Categories: Musings
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: 24 Comments

“Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first one is Bad”

January 11, 2011

My mukluks dried from the weekend snow, and I put them down the cellar with the ice skates I never wear and the cross country skis I used until my knees and back screamed. How silly of me! The next storm, a nor’easter, is due to start around midnight tonight, and I figure I might just need those mukluks. It looks as if we’ll get 8 inches here on the cape while Boston can expect around 14.

I’m of two minds when it comes to snow. I love watching the flakes fall and how pristine the trees and yards look before a foot, a shovel or a plow has its way. I never mind it when Gracie runs and leaves paw prints in the snow. They seem right, natural, and not a disturbance to the beauty of the landscape. The other part of me wonders when the plow will get here to free me as I can’t wait to be out of my involuntary prison even though I know some roads will still have a snow cover. When I drive over them, my tires make a crunching sound which reminds me to be careful.

Last night my leg hurt so badly that I yelped out loud several times and woke myself up. I tried different methods to get rid of the pain. I changed position which helped for a while, stood on the cold floor which also helped for a while, took off my socks and finally, around three, took something for the pain. I fell asleep until well after noon, and that was just the beginning of my day. I started the coffee and went to get the newspaper. I was careful to avoid any ice or snow. The paper was in the driveway so I retrieved it, walked back to the house and tried to open the door. It had locked itself. The backdoor had done that before but never the front. I stood there for a while pondering my options. I couldn’t choose across the street for help as they are in their 70’s and climbing the fence in the back was beyond them. My young, nimble neighbors still work. The house right next door looked dark and empty, but I figured I’d give it a try anyway. I knocked on the door and Sebastian, my neighbor and landscaper, was home. I told him my tale of woe and he followed me home whereupon he jumped the fence, went in the back door, came to the front and let me inside. Come to find out he’s sick and had just come from the doctor’s office. I thanked him and told him I hoped he’d get better and he wished for me the same.

I’m leery of the rest of the day as bad things do come in three’s. I’ll keep you posted.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 12 Comments

“Games lubricate the body and the mind.”

January 10, 2011

Yesterday I had all intentions of doing another entry so I got coffee, sat down, got comfy and turned on the computer, but it didn’t turn on, didn’t even make a clicking sound. I got on the floor and checked every cord, all eight hundred of them, and found two usb cords attached to the back of the computer but attached to nothing else. Still on the floor I followed every wire and found three which belonged to machines I no longer have. Now I had my cords down to seven hundred and ninety five ( counting the homeless usb cords), but my computer still wouldn’t start. I took out and then replaced all the cords. Nothing. Finally I gave up and sat down with a new, hot cup of coffee and started reading. Today a computer man came and lo and behold it was the power cord. It was plugged into a surge protector with battery back up and only one side of the surge protector worked, and it was not the computer side. I am $70.00 poorer but I have my computer back!

We had only 3 or so inches of snow over Saturday night, and it was a winter wonderland when I woke up on Sunday morning. The plow had been by, and it buried two of my three newspapers. The New York Times was the only one visible. An edge of its blue plastic stood up from the pile left by the plow. I had to wait until my driveway was plowed before the papers reappeared.

When I was a kid, we only had a toys or games which never needed a repair man. If the tire on my bike had a leak, I’d find it and fix it. If I’d misplaced a piece from a game, I’d use something else. A button worked just as well as the Monopoly shoe. Many of my games had those hit the arrow with your fingers counters so we always had one to use. I grew out of most of my games, and they sat, with all their pieces and boards and counters, on the closet shelf or in the cellar. Other games I never outgrew. Sorry is just about my favorite, and the game I still have is  over forty years old. It still has all its pieces, all of the men and all of the cards. The board isn’t even faded. It has aged better than I.

Categories: Musings
Tags: , , ,

Comments: 12 Comments

“January is here, with eyes that keenly glow, A frost-mailed warrior striding a shadowy steed of snow.”

January 8, 2011

Today is much like yesterday only a bit warmer. Snow is coming and by tomorrow they predict 3-6 inches, a mere trifle, kick away snow, broom away snow. I have some errands to do which makes it feel like a before retirement Saturday. I think it a bit strange that I could barely wait for the weekend when I was working yet I used to spend all of Saturdays cleaning and shopping.

The birds haven’t yet found the filled feeders. I keep checking hoping to see a chickadee or a nuthatch. I forgot to buy suet so that’s on my list today. Maybe the snow will bring the birds back to their familiar haunts.

We used to spend wintry Saturdays watching TV. Our favorites were on in the morning then we got to watch Creature Feature. I remember sitting on the rug in front of the set. My mother would let us eat lunch watching TV because we mostly had sandwiches which were safe from spills. The milk was another story and my mother never failed to caution us. Most times we’d make two trips: one for the sandwich and the other for the glass of milk. I remember holding the glass against my chest as I walked so any spill would land on my shirt. Holding it only with one hand was the older me.

When I was young, I used to love to read in bed on a rainy Saturday. I think it was because I could feel the rain all around me. I’d hear it on the roof and on the window at the foot of my bed. After the drops hit the pane, they’d drizzle down getting smaller and smaller until I couldn’t see them any more. I still love to read on a rainy day.

A snowy Saturday was for sitting near the window watching the flakes fall. Snow is silent. It hushes and mutes the world. I’d check to see how high the snow was by using the steps as my gauge. When the snow was high enough, we’d go outside and play until we were so cold our whole bodies were red and our lips were blue.

It never occurred to us that we were missing a snow day with a Saturday storm. The snow made the day special, and that was all that mattered.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 6 Comments

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.”

January 7, 2011

The sun is a blur behind light gray clouds. It gives the day some light but provides no heat and only accentuates the bare branches of the tall oak tree behind my deck. I need to go out later, and I’m dreading the cold. Even in the house I’m layered.

The bird feeders are empty, and I miss my birds.  Since my surgery, I haven’t been as faithful in filling them but that ends today. I’ll go out as soon as I finish here as a bit of snow is coming, and I’ll feel guilty if I  see birds checking empty feeders.

My life has had a different symmetry since the surgery. I seldom picked up a book to read; every night I woke up several times because of the pain, and I didn’t go out unless someone drove me. That has begun to change. I finished a book yesterday, drove my car and was up at 9 yesterday having slept through the night. Slowly my life is returning to normal.

When I was a kid, I recognized it when I got taller. I used to compare my height to my mother’s and couldn’t wait until I was taller than she was. It was like a kid’s one-upmanship. It didn’t change the hierarchy, but I felt a bit superior anyway. The first change of any consequence was puberty. It wasn’t my favorite. All of a sudden my childhood was vanishing.

When it finally disappeared, I didn’t notice.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 10 Comments

“Oh! the snow, the beautiful snow, Filling the sky and earth below, Over the housetops, over the street, Over the heads of the people you meet. Dancing, Flirting, Skimming along.”

January 5, 2011

The sun is shining, but the day still looks bleak. When I look out the window, I can see the dead leaves and stark empty branches of the trees which shaded the deck all summer. I don’t like winter, not because of the cold but because of the lack of color.

The other night I had eggs and toast for dinner. The eggs were scrambled with cheese, and the meal was delicious. Toast to me is comfort food. When we were sick, my mother would make us toast. She always served it cut in half on a small plate. The toast the other night made me think of her.

I have a new pattern going: a day out of the house then a day inside to recuperate. Yesterday I went to the movies and saw The King’s Speech. Last night my muscles screamed, and I woke up several times. Each time I did, I moved around to find where the pain seemed less so I could go back to sleep. Poor Gracie had no choice but to move with me. She and I went from one side of the bed to the other. I could slide around until I found a spot, but she’d have to get off, wait, then join me. She was kind enough to sleep in with me. Both of us slept until quite late.

When I was a kid, January always seemed a let down. Christmas was over, and we were back in school. No days off loomed unless we were lucky enough to get a snow day. I remember when snow started in the early evening, and I’d watch from the picture window in the living room hoping to see the sidewalks and streets disappear until a white blanket. Big thick wet flakes never gave much hope. They were usually teasers. The smaller flakes had the best potential. I’d watch a little TV then check back at the window hoping I’d see nothing but white. At bedtime, I’d hope that while I was sleeping the snow would pile as high as the hydrants so we could stay home and play all day. Back then, the fire station alarm announced no school, but I don’t remember the call signal. I just remember my mother telling us not to bother getting dressed for school: there wasn’t any.

We’d eat breakfast as quickly as we could, put on all our winter layers and head outside. Snow was never to be wasted.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 19 Comments

“New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.”

January 2, 2011

The day is overcast but warm. The sun keeps trying to break through, but the clouds are too heavy. Every now and then the day lightens and I get hopeful, but then the sun disappears again. I don’t really mind today’s weather. I’m comfortable here inside and have no plans to be elsewhere.

Poor January 2nd. We had Christmas with all its preparations then a short wait until New Year’s Eve then New Year’s Day. Today is just another in a long line of days.

When I see pictures of singers I really like, I wonder how they got so old. Gordon Lightfoot is one example, and I couldn’t believe it when I realized Judy Collins is 72 or close to it. I have a friend who is eligible for medicare. What’s going on here? How did we all get so much older?

I think I was paying far more attention to life itself to realize that each day meant I was a day older. The first time I got a senior discount I needed a brown bag to stop me from hyper-ventilating. I don’t feel older. Admittedly, I’m a bit slower, and my word retrieval skills have ah, ah, you know, ah, deteriorated. On New Year’s Eve, I didn’t know a single song or singer. The audience was singing along. They all looked twelve to me, and I wondered why their mothers would let them out so late.

I like to think of the new year as a time for renewal, a time for a better me, but I’m been in the house so long I’m going crazy, and I haven’t given any thought to renewal. Yesterday I drove my new car around the block. I wondered where the crowds were and the flags and whether my pit stop was ready for me. I wanted to wave to the crowds in the same funny way as the queen waves, but I didn’t see anyone. Just riding around the block seemed that exciting.

Last night my foot and leg hurt. I moved to a more comfortable position and the pain disappeared, but I figure I need to take this really slowly. Tomorrow I’ll give it another try. I hope there will be crowds. I have my wave all ready.

Categories: Musings
Tags: ,

Comments: 20 Comments

“There is hope in dreams, imagination, and in the courage of those who wish to make those dreams a reality.”

December 31, 2010

Last night I decided to change my sleeping arrangements. Of late I have been having heavy duty pains at night and, having no one to blame, I blamed my bed. Last night I sat up quite comfortably on the couch with my feet on the table and fell asleep until 3, the bewitching hour when the pains usually arrive. They didn’t. I woke up at 4 and at 5. I guess I was subconsciously checking. Nothing happened. I finally woke at the hour of 11 and am fine-no leg pains. Now the other possible culprit is sitting at the computer so I am now on the couch writing long range. I’ll see what happens tomorrow.

In my youth we had wild New Year’s Eve parties. Actually all our parties were wild, but for New Year’s Eve we at least had an excuse and the party had a name. By the time the countdown began we were holding on to each other and a bottle of anything we could find. We were a wild group back then, and we loved to party.

The last couple of years my friends and I did a progressive party starting at one house then to another and finally moving along to the end house. It was fun.

Tonight I’ll celebrate here. I’ll give my sister a New Year’s call then I’ll go to bed. The changing times make me feel a little old. I could never replicate the raucous. That was a far younger me. That was the party me. I laugh at some of our antics, and I smile at the fun we had. I think the New Year does that. It makes us look both forward and backward.

I never make resolutions. I’m terrible at keeping them. I do hope for more fun times with friends, maybe a trip or two and some long leisurely days on the deck.

I  wish and hope for peace, but that never comes true and I sometimes get tired of wishing for it, but I’m afraid to stop. I figure every wish counts.

Categories: Musings
Tags:

Comments: 18 Comments

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »