The morning is dark, damp and cloudy. The usual weekend rain is predicted for tonight. I have errands today. If this were summer, I’d never leave the house. Tourists fill the roads on ugly days.

Saturday has always been my favorite day of the week. When I was a kid, Saturday mornings started with TV and Rice Krispies. I’d sit on the rug too close to the TV for my mother’s comfort and eat my cereal. I had favorite shows. I remember Andy’s Gang with Andy Devine. I knew Andy Devine because he had been Jingles, Wild Bill Hickok’s buddy, “Wild Bill, wait for me.” I remember Froggy, a sort of evil magic frog, “Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy.” He’d appear in a cloud of smoke. I was enchanted. Midnight was the black cat, of course he was. I think my love for science fiction made Captain Midnight a favorite. He had a sidekick whose name was Mudd with 2 d’s. The sponsor was Ovaltine. I used to beg my mother to buy Ovaltine so I could send away a box top for a decoder. I never got one. Sky King was an original. He was a rancher who spent more time in his plane, the Songbird, than on his horse.

The rest of Saturday was an adventure day. I’d wander either by foot or on my bike. I had no set plans. I just sort of let the day happen. Saturday night was out of my control. It was the same menu every week, the same TV shows and always a bath.

As I got older, I explored less. Saturday was a fun day. During high school, my friends and I would often spend the day or the evening together. I remember playing miniature golf in the warm months and tobogganing in the cold. We bowled. I was a horrible bowler. Sometimes we went to the movies, inside or outside depending on the time of year. Saturday supper was whatever we were in the mood to eat.

Since my retirement, every day has been a Saturday without the hot dogs, beans or brown bread, and I can’t remember the last time I took a bath.

This morning feels like a summer morning. Outside is hot, but the house holds a bit of the cooler night. The rooms are dark. Out my window, I can nothing is moving in the still air. The sky is blue, and the sky is cloudy. The high today will be 74°.

My father graduated from high school when he was sixteen. It was 1943. He wanted to enlist right away, but his mother wouldn’t sign the papers. He had to wait until his seventeenth December birthday when he didn’t need permission. My father went into the navy. In the pictures of him after bootcamp, he looks so young, a baby, metaphorically. He was assigned to a ship which plied the North Sea. In 1944, his ship was sunk, broken in half. My father was in the cold water a long time before he was rescued. He was brought to a hospital in England. The doctors worried about saving his legs, but they did. My dad told us he was still in the hospital when casualties from D-Day and the Battle of the Bulge were admitted. They all said U.S. forces were being overwhelmed. That was the only memory my father had of D-Day.

My mother once had a D-Day party. In the living room she had The Longest Day playing on the TV. In the kitchen the music of World War II played, and everyone sang along. Around the house were maps of the Normandy coast with the landing points highlighting. She had found decorations, cardboard soldiers, lots of American flags and even smaller flags sticking from the food on the table. The party was perfect.

Now that I have a car, I don’t mind staying home.

Today is summer. It is already 81°. The morning is still and quiet. Nala was panting when she came back inside the house after her romp. She is now comfy on the couch. It is time for her morning nap.

Yesterday was a normal day. I drove, yup, drove, to my uke lesson then I had my hair cut. I’m working on crossing off all the errands I couldn’t do without a car. I feel free.

When I was a little kid, we went to visit one of my father’s relatives, an aunt I think. She lived on a pond. I remember an old rowboat filled with flowers was in the yard by the pond as were wooden Adirondack chairs. We, my brother and I, asked if we could go swimming. We stripped down to our underwear to swim as we didn’t have bathing suits. I remember there was tall grass by the side of the pond and water lilies floating. I didn’t know how to swim yet so I mostly walked in the water. When we got out of the pond, my mother took one look at my brother and me and screamed. Blood suckers were on our chests and legs and had made themselves comfortable dining al fresco. My father pulled them off. My mother just stayed horrified. I was mostly curious.

We have black and white pictures of a vacation in New Hampshire. I was probably around three. I do remember there was a screened porch, and we were on a lake. In one of the pictures my brother and I are sitting on the top of a very small waterfall. We were all smiles. I remember the moving water we sat on tickled and sort of tingled our legs. It made me laugh.

One other vacation picture, also black and white, brings back a few memories. We were in Islesboro, Maine. In the picture I look around ten maybe eleven. I’m leaning against a tree on a small hill. The picture taker was below me so the picture angle is weird. I look long and tall. I am wearing a visor. I remember that visor. It was white. I loved it and wore it that whole summer. I wore it everywhere until it wasn’t wearable anymore.

The morning is spring. The nighttime is still waiting for spring. When I wake up, the house is cold. Outside is warmer. I wear my sweatshirt inside and short sleeves outside. The weather is quirky this time of year.

I am no longer house bound. This morning I bought a used Honda Civic. I waved good-bye to my pedestrian life. I reentered the world.

When I was growing up, every family I knew had only one car. It was used every day mostly by the fathers to go to work. My father was a salesman. His job was on the road. He worked for a company called J.P. Manning. It sold tobacco products. I remember going with him once to the office in Boston. The name J.P. Manning was on a sign across the top front of the company. The background of the sign was red. His territory was mostly south of Boston, a distance away. He was never home for dinner. In my memory drawer, I have a picture of him coming in the front door of our house. I can see him wearing a top coat and a fedora. The first thing he always did was hang his coat in the closet near the door and put his hat on the shelf. In my hat collection I have a fedora. I bought it as it always brings my father to mind.

My mother walked uptown to shop the different stores or she waited until Saturday when my father could drive her. She did grocery shopping Friday nights. My dad would wait in the car or stop to visit his parents who lived right down the street from the First National. In the summer, one of my uncles would sometimes pick us up, and we’d spend the day at Revere Beach with uncles and aunts and cousins. I remember when I was really young, one uncle’s car had a running board. At the beach, we’d swim and play in the sand. The adults took turns running across the street to have a few drinks. One or two stayed behind to watch us, to keep us safe. We’d leave for home in the late afternoon. I usually fell asleep in the car.

Oh the horror! Yesterday was a strange day. I never wrote Coffee; instead, I ignore my sloth, poor baby. First, I washed the kitchen floor twice. The second time it was wash and wax. I just couldn’t take the dirty floor any longer. I also washed and waxed the hall and the stairs. I polished the dining room furniture and dusted everything else. During all of this, I could hear the cries of my sloth. As for today, a friend is taking me to do a couple of errands. Yesterday, another friend took my trash. I am lucky in my friends.

Today is another lovely day, the sort of day where outside is wonderfully warm while inside is still holding the night and is chilly. I’m wearing a sweatshirt.

When I was a kid, the arrival of June meant summer was close. The last day of school was nearing, and the nearer we got, the more my attention drifted. My eyes would glaze, and I’d daydream. I’d look out the window and wish I was outside far away from school. The nun’s voice became an incoherent background hum. I was through with school, but I just had to be patient until it was through with me.

My house is mostly quiet. Henry barks when he’s looking out the front door and sees movement, but the rest of the time he’s quiet. Nala whines and talks back. She whacks me with her paw if I don’t pay attention. I have lived alone in this house since the day I bought it. I sometimes am lonely for conversation, but mostly I love the solitude and the freedom to do what I want. I live in my cozies, eat when I’m hungry and sleep when I’m tired, usually in the wee hours.

The first time I lived alone was in Ghana, on one side of a duplex on school grounds. It was difficult at first. I was homesick and unhappy. I didn’t write about it in letters as I didn’t want my parents to worry. Every day I checked for mail, for my connection to home. Finally, I decided if things didn’t change I’d leave before Christmas. Happily for me things changed. Ghana became home. I loved my life there. Teaching was a joy every day. My students understood me, and they learned. I kept busy even outside the classroom. I loved going to town. I loved the market and my market ladies. I had plenty of books, and my town had a library. In one box from home was an origami book with diagrams and colored paper. Nothing I folded looked familiar, looked the same as the illustrations, but I had fun. I still can’t do origami.

Today is yesterday. The breeze is heavy at times, the sun and the clouds are taking turns, the dogs are napping, and I am a sloth.

Yesterday, late at night, I did polish the dining room furniture. I noticed the dust on the table. It guilted me. Maybe tonight I’ll wash the kitchen floor, but that will take an immense amount of guilt.

When I was a kid, Saturday was my favorite day of the week. It didn’t matter the season or the weather. Sometimes I went to the movies. Sometimes I ice skated. Lots of times I rode my bike. I knew all the best rides to all the best places. By the golf course, I’d find golf balls across the street on someone’s lawn. At the farm, I’d check out the cows in the field. It was a dairy farm. I have a couple of their glass bottles. I remember the route from the barn to the field was always muddy and thick with hoof prints. I’d bike to the next town over and circle the lake. I’d skim rocks across the water. I saved bird feathers. I’d stop at the library and take out as many books as they’d let me. I visited the town barn, the railroad station, rode by the junk man’s house and walked the tracks. I was never bored.

Saturday night supper was never a surprise. It was universal: hot dogs, baked beans and brown bread. The hot dogs rolls opened at the top. Back then I slathered yellow mustard all across the top of my dog then added piccalilli. I never ate the beans. The brown bread came from a can. it was fried in slices in the pan and topped with butter. I still love hot dogs in rolls which open at the top. I add mustard. Lately, it has been German mustard. I’m still a fan of piccalilli. My mother used to bottle it every year. It was the best piccalilli.

As the White Rabbit said, “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late for a very important date.” Scratch the important date, and the rest is mine. First, I got up late, after ten, and, still being in the sloth mode, I took my time. I made coffee and read the paper. I had two cups of coffee then some toast, rye toast. After that, I paid bills. I’m still in pain. I grocery shopped for delivery. Now I’m here.

If this were winter, I’d be hibernating; instead, I’m a hermit by circumstance. I could be the star of a 50’s science fiction movie entitled The Only Woman Alive. Tuesday was the last time I was out, the last time I interacted with people. It was uke practice. Since then, I have been home with a cat and two dogs. I find myself correcting the TV out loud but don’t worry. It never answers back. I correct grammar, continuity mistakes and I scoff. I watch movies and old TV shows. I am entertained.

The early morning was chilly. It rained last night for a bit. We have an every now and then strong breeze. Right now it is 64°. The sun is disappearing and reappearing. The dogs are having their morning naps. Soon enough it will be time for their afternoon naps. After that they’ll eat then have their evening naps. They’ll go to bed when I do. It’s a dog’s life has a new meaning.

When I was a kid, we had only a small front garden below the picture window. My father planted petunias or pansies. I loved the multi-colored pansies with all their faces and their bonnets. That’s what I saw.

I used to have cut out paper dolls. They were always in their underwear. The clothes had small tabs at the top so you could put them on the dolls. Each page had a different set of clothes like winter clothes with jackets and boots, summer clothes like shorts and bathing suits and fancy dresses, party clothes. I had to use big, real scissors to cut out the clothes as kid’s scissors weren’t sharp enough to go around on the lines to cut out the clothes and save the tabs. I remember I’d sometimes glue a popsicle stick on the back of the dolls because it was easier to play with them. They were great stocking stuffers and Easter basket gifts.

My errand list is overwhelming with no car. The trash alone is giving me hives, okay not really, but you get the point. I need my hair cut and my blood drawn. I need my garden flowers. I keep looking on line but haven’t yet found a car. That really is giving me hives!

We had light rain last night for a little while. It left the morning damp and the sky cloudy. A slight breeze ruffles the leaves every now and then. More rain is predicted for today. It is a perfect sloth day to stay home and be lazy.

I have always had a great memory. Sometimes I remember in words. Other times I remember in images. As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve had to rely more on images as the words are harder to remember, harder to find. Those missing words eventually come to mind but often too late to be helpful. As for images, they stay. Even after all these years, I can still close my eyes and see my walk to school, what houses I passed and how the sidewalk was shaded by overhanging branches. I can count the houses along the street. I can see them all.

When I was in the eighth grade, the infamous Sister Hildegard made us memorize the Declaration of Independence, the Gettysburg Address and the Bill of Rights. Each of us had to stand and recite the parts we’d memorized until we had finished with each document. The Gettysburg Address was the easiest to memorize followed by the Bill of Rights. The Declaration of Independence took a long while. Somehow she kept track of our progress. It was easy for me.

In Ghana, my school was off the main road. Between the school and town there were fields and a few buildings. I used to walk to town to shop on market day. It was downhill into town and uphill back. I still remember the road, the kiosks and the buildings. I can close my eyes and see the post office, the bank, the Super Service Inn, the small kiosks selling canned goods like butter and a few veggies, the book store, the aunties selling food along the sides of the road, the entrances to the market and the few spots to rest a bit and have a Coke. It has changed over the years, but I still remember how it was. I think of that as a gift.

I store things in usual places figuring usual will help me remember where those things are when I need them. Sometimes, though, I go to those usual places and don’t find what I want. I had put them somewhere else, somewhere safe. My memory had failed me, but then an imagine, a snapshot, jumps into my head, and I remember. I get my stuff, use it and then put it back in a safe place.

The morning is cloudy but warm, 72°. I’m going to collect branches so I can be working outside enjoying the lovely weather. The dogs stay out much longer on days like today. Nala sleeps on a patch of grass in the sun. Henry is near the deck just sitting and watching the world. They appreciate the day.

When I was a little kid, I didn’t have many decisions I needed to make. I wore uniforms to school so I didn’t need to choose an outfit. I had school shoes which doubled as church shoes. I had church clothes, dresses or skirts. I had play clothes. The first thing I did after school every day was to change from my school clothes to my play clothes. That had been ingrained in me as soon as first grade, and it stayed with me all of my life. I never gave it any thought. It just was.

My father always claimed I had a wise mouth. He didn’t mean it as a compliment. He meant I answered him back. I even answered his rhetorical questions. That bothered him the most. My favorite was, “What do you think you’re doing?” I figured that deserved an answer. My father didn’t agree. His, “How many times do I have to tell you,” was also rhetorical, but I gave him an answer anyway. My mother’s favorite was, “Just wait until your father gets home.” When I was little, it scared me, but as I got older, I considered it an idle threat. At some point when I was older, the threats and questions stopped. I don’t remember when.

Spring and summer are noisy seasons. My windows are open so I hear all the sounds. The birds sing to welcome the dawn. On a breezy day, I can hear the winds chimes. Their sound sweetens the air. Henry barks if anyone dares walk by my house. He has a deep bark. At night, when he is outside, it can be disconcerting. At night, I can hear the frogs who live by the tiny pond at the end of my street. The crickets and katydids chirp, and sometimes I even hear the cicadas buzzing. The night is alive.

I know all the sounds my house makes. At night, it creaks and groans. The dogs’ paws click on the wood floors. Sometimes when both dogs run down the stairs they sound like a herd of buffalos. My street is small so I know when a car goes by the house. Henry sometimes barks. He is my protector.

As for today, I can hear the leaves rustling and the chimes ringing.