Archive for the ‘Musings’ category

“The sun works in my veins like wine, like wine!” 

April 16, 2026

Spring has taken hold. It is already 61°. Outside my window, I can see the blue sky, the clouds and that beautiful sun. The air is still. I can hear the birds and their songs. My house is quiet. The dogs are napping. Nala is on the couch, and Henry is on my bed. I found a couple of branches in the living room. Last night Nala was on the couch chewing on a big pine cone. She was not pleased when I took it away, but she’ll forget soon enough.

The spring weather has changed my mood. I’ve stopped dragging my feet. I’m off the couch. I am getting chores done, stuff I’ve ignored for a while. Yesterday I picked up my laundry. Today I’ll put it away. I’m going to get my dump permit. There are bags of trash sitting on the deck and in the front. My car is filled with boxes and bags of newspapers. I’ll get rid of them today and starting tomorrow I’ll do a daily dump run. I’m also going to get those pansies.

Where I lived when I was a growing up was in what we called the project. It had duplexes on the hill and around the small rotary. Every house had kids, some older than I was but more younger. We used to roller skate on the sidewalks and on the always empty parking area at the top of the hill. We rode bikes down the hill. It was where I perfected biking with no hands. In winter, the hill was perfect for sledding. The swamp in the woods was where we often ice skated. I remember there were small channels of water leading to the big part of the swamp. When the water froze, we could follow the channels through the woods. What I remember is how clear the water was. I could see grass and small plants under the ice. The field below the houses was for summer, for grasshopper and firefly hunting, catch and release. The swamp was on the other side of it. Blueberry bushes were along one side the field. We’d pick them, not to save but to eat. I always thought the swamp, the field and the trees were magical.

Already I have had my uke practice, my lesson and one concert this week. The music book for the month is The Beatles. The concerts are fun to play.

“What glad, mad fools we are in spring!”

April 14, 2026

I want to jump for joy. It is 64°. It is a lovely spring day, the sort we’ve all been craving. The sky is so blue it almost defies description. The air is still. I was on the deck for a while watching the dogs romp through the backyard. That was when I noticed Nala’s latest trash run. She took a bag of Coke cans from under the deck. The cans are all over the yard. I’m going to have to trash pick. I also noticed another bag’s been emptied. That one had common trash. Gee, I wonder who opened that bag.

I think spring is my favorite season. When I was a kid, I loved the morning air. It still held a hint of the chill of late winter, but the day warmed quickly. The air smelled sweet. I watched the progress of the buds on the trees over the sidewalk on my walk to school. I loved the colors of spring, the bright flowers in the front gardens, the dafs and the hyacinths. I could see the yellow buds of the forsythia trees. I was wearing spring, a jacket with no layers. Spring is hopeful.

My bike came out of the cellar, a spring ritual. I rode it in the afternoons. I sometimes went to the white store for my mother, usually for bread. I rode by the golf courses and the stores uptown. I went to the library. Spring gave me a sense of freedom after a cold, snowy winter. We stayed out longer in the afternoons. The street lights came on later. The sun was taking over.

Ghana didn’t have spring, but it had the rainy season. The first rains made rivulets on the packed, dry soil, but soon enough the soil softened. The fields were sown and small green shoots appeared. I was as taken with the rain as I was of spring. It rained almost every day. I didn’t have a raincoat or an umbrella. I got wet. I didn’t mind. Soon enough all the fields were alive. The crops were so tall you couldn’t see between them.. All you could see was the road bordered by the tall millet grasses.

The school garden was tended by Enzo. The garden was beautiful, lush and green. He used to come and chat with me. He spoke pidgin English, but I pretty much understood him. One time he complained, “Am I a garden boy or a gate boy?” That was when the back gate right by my house was locked. I just listened. I gave him seeds. He grew vegetables. I remember when he grew green peppers. They were not popular. They were not hot. My friends and I bought them all.

Every morning when I go get the paper in the front yard I stop to look at the flowers. They are their most beautiful now, tall and colorful. They make me feel a bit giddy.

“…the first sign of civilization is always trash.”

April 13, 2026

Today is cloudy. It will be in the low 50’s. I’ll take it despite the wind. I didn’t list any chores or errands for today. As always, there are things I could do and places I could go, but I’ll just wing it.

When I woke up, I didn’t open my eyes right away. I could feel breathing on my face and a paw was pushing at me. I begrudgingly opened my eyes, Nala’s eyes were just inches away from mine. When she realized I was awake, she began jumping on the bed. Henry just stood and watched. I got up.

I try to carry boxes and bags, like I once did. I even used to carry a fifty pound bag of litter from the car to the house. Now I struggle with packages. I can’t seem to convince my head that my body is old, okay, older, a better word, so I keep trying. When I take a filled litter box down the stairs, I go a stair at a time. I stand backwards to the box and hope for the best. I brought a heavy box down today. The box and I made it safely. I added the box to the growing pile of boxes on the deck. They are my targets for later in the week. I just need to get my dump pass.

My father always brought the trash barrels to the sidewalk on trash day. He’d bring in the empty barrels when he got home. When we moved to the cape, my father had to go to the dump with his trash. He never minded. He loved the dump. He loved the high piles of trash and the raucous seagulls circling the piles. He’d go on Sunday. He always invited me. Sometimes I went. When I was in college and a friend came home with me for the weekend, my friend was invited to go with my father. It was almost a command performance.

I’m in the mood for chocolate, maybe I’ll make some brownies.

“It was Sunday — not a day, but rather a gap between two other days.”

April 12, 2026

The morning is the same as the last few mornings, but we are slowly inching to warmer weather. The high today will be 49°. Tonight will be in the low 40’s, finally out of the 30’s at least for one night. The dogs are my barometers. They have been staying outside longer since the days got warmer.

Sunday has always been the quiet day. When I was a kid, we went to church. We always wore our church clothes which meant I wore a dress or a skirt and blouse, never pants. I wore good shoes. I even wore a hat. My father was an usher at an early mass. He always brought home the paper and some donuts. His donuts choices left something to be desired. He bought plain, jelly and lemon. His favorite was a plain donut slathered with butter. We hung around the house until after Sunday dinner. I’d read the Sunday comics. The news didn’t interest me. We’d watch a movie.

Sunday dinner was special. We had a roast, sometimes chicken and sometimes beef. My mother used to put onion slices on the top of the beef. They got crispy and were delicious. I always tried to steal one. Sometimes I did before my mother could catch me. The chicken was usually stuffed. I loved my mother’s stuffing. It was sage. Mashed potatoes and gravy were a given. The vegetables varied. They were all canned back then. I still laugh at my father and his asparagus. My mother bought a small can and served them on a plate just for my father. None of us ate it. He’d pick one spear up with his fork and the asparagus was always limp.

I’ve mentioned before how on Sunday afternoons we often went to my grandparents’ house in East Boston. The kitchen is where my mother, my grandmother and my aunts sat around the table all afternoon. My grandmother always made pasta. It stayed on the stove and was help yourself. The grater and the Parmesan cheese were on the table. That was the first time I grated cheese. My mother used to buy the already grated Parmesan cheese in the jar.

On the way home in the late afternoon, I sometimes fell asleep. The trip wasn’t long, but the car on the road lulled me to sleep. At home, we had a few hours before my mother announced, “Time for bed, school tomorrow.”

“A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.”

April 11, 2026

What a pretty morning! A slight breeze sways the pine branches. Not a cloud is in the sky, the spectacularly blue sky. Today will be in the low 50’s. Tonight will be in the 30’s. I have a couple of errands which will get me out to enjoy the day. I’m finally going to get those pansies.

When I was a kid, my mother made dinners she knew we’d all eat. We never saw broccoli or cauliflower. Spinach was Popeye’s choice, not ours. The only salads she made were potato, tuna and chicken, never green salad. I didn’t eat beans, but I loved peas. We knew we’d have potatoes at dinner. Mostly they were mashed, but sometimes they were oven fried. Corn was a frequent all season veggie, canned in winter, fresh in summer. My father was the champion at eating corn off the cob. His approach reminded me of typewriter keys moving side to side and up and down. He went so fast that if you sat beside him you got sprayed with flying pieces of corn. For dessert we’d grab some cookies, Oreos, if it was close to when my mother grocery shopped as they disappeared quickly. Chocolate chip was a close second. My mother would sometimes surprise us with brownies. She’d make them then frost them with chocolate frosting and jimmies (sprinkles to some of you). I remember the pan she always used. I can still see it in my mind’s eye.

I remember when my mother visited we often went shopping. We’d stop at a few antique stores. In one there were individual tables and bookcases. I watched a woman adding to her wares. She put down four nested tulip bowls, Fire King bowls. My mother had had a set when I was growing up so I decided to buy the bowls. I still use them, and every time I do, I am reminded of my mother. What a treasure!

When both of my parents came down, my mother and I shopped while my father worked around my front yard. He weeded and mowed. He loved yard work. When I visited them, he’d show me his front lawn. It was his pride and joy.

Henry started barking by the front door. It was his intruder bark. I checked but didn’t see anything or anyone then I heard the mail truck. Henry is not a fan of that truck, and the mailman is not a Henry fan. If he has a package for my house, he leaves it at the end of the walk. Henry keeps barking. That’s all he does as he hasn’t yet learned to open the door. I hope he never does.

“I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”

April 10, 2026

What a pretty day! The sun is squint your eyes bright. The blue sky goes on forever. Nothing is moving. It is 49°. The high today will be 53°, spring on Cape Cod. Tonight will drop back to the 30’s, back to winter.

I have two errands left. I also have house chores. I am inundated by spiders. This morning I walked around clearing webs. The fur balls are back. I need to clear yet again. That seems to occur every couple of days. I’ve been using the broom. The balls fly in the air when I sweep. I have a vacuum, but I do like a broom.

When I was a kid, the creatures around me were the usual, the spawns of Satan, an occasional skunk, garter snakes and birds. I don’t remember which birds. I never paid that much attention. I do remember watching a praying mantis, the strangest looking insect I ever saw. It looked like the miniature version of a monster from a Japanese science fiction movie, a little Rodan.

I had chickens in Ghana. My first hen was a gift from a friend. She came with a few eggs on which she’d been sitting. Her roost was the bottom half of a pottery bowl. It was kept in the toilet area of my backyard to keep her and her eggs safe; however, it didn’t keep me safe. (Bathroom talk here) the toilet room was small. I could touch both walls when I sat on the proverbial throne. The hen was right near my feet. If I moved my feet, she’d peck them. I always wore sandals so the pecking hurt. I learned to keep my feet at a distance, difficult in the small space. But there was something neat about this set up. I could watch the progress of the eggs. Sitting there, got to see the first cracks. I could hear the chick pecking away. This hen was free range. Every morning she’d leave the yard followed by her chicks. In the late afternoon she’d return, minus at least one chick then finally all the chicks were gone, taken by some predator. My students later told me she left eggs around the compound instead of in the nesting area. This hen later had a new purpose. She was dinner. I did get more hens and my flock grew. I became a chicken docent. I also became a plucker of great renown.

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”

April 9, 2026

The nights are quite chilly, in the 30’s. The days are in the 40’s, but spring is in the air, well, maybe pre-spring, a dress rehearsal, is here, the perfect definition of our weather. In my front garden, the dafs and hyacinths have bloomed, the first colors of the season. I am still waiting for the backyard daf. It is in the middle of the yard and is the only one. I think some creature carried the bulb. I love that spot of yellow.

I have a few errands on my dance card today. My favorite errand is to go to the nursery to buy pansies for the pots on my front steps. I remember pansies in the front garden of the house when I was a kid. They all had faces. They were mostly smiling. I loved the purple and the bright orange. Those are the colors I’ll look for today.

I heard whining around 5:30 this morning. I opened my eyes and saw only Nala on my bed. Henry was the whiner. Nala and I went downstairs while I checked. He wanted out. I forgave him for waking me up when I opened the back door. I could hear birds greeting the day. I heard mourning doves. I even heard the gobbles of turkeys. The air was cold but it was morning cold which gives hope for a warmer day. Henry was quick, and we all went back to bed. I woke up again not long after. It was Nala. She was beside me whining and staring at my face. I made the mistake of opening my eyes. She starting lapping my face. Then the two of them, Henry and Nala, started jumping on the bed and on me. I got up. They waited on the stairs to make sure I was coming. I love that they wait for me. We all went down the stairs. They went out. I made coffee. It was the start of another day in the Ryan household.

When I was a kid, I could hardly wait to put winter away, to put hats and mittens and heavy coats in the closet. If it was a bit chilly outside, I never would have admitted it. I did not want to go back to winter. The field at the foot of my street was a quicker way to school than walking on the sidewalks. The only problem was the wind whipped across the field. It ballooned my coat, and sometimes I had to walk backwards. I laughed at the coat.

“Hometown is where our story begins.”

April 6, 2026

I am quite tired of this weather. It is chilly at 44°. The sun is just ornamental, but the deep blue sky is breathtaking. The pine branches are swaying with the breeze. I have a few chores, the same chores I’ve had on my list for a while. I just need a burst of energy.

My street is small, nine houses. One is a summer rental and another is a second house, an empty house right now. The family comes down in the summer. They have a boat. Two houses still have school age kids. Mostly retired people live in the other houses. Two of the houses still have original owners. Mine is one of them. It is quite the quiet street. Houses go dark early. The street has no streetlights. My lights are on far later than at any other house. I own the world after midnight.

When I was a kid, the street lights were an alarm. As soon as they came on, you could hear some mothers yelling out the doors at their kids to come home. It was a nighttime ritual for every kid on the street.When I went into the house, my mother was always preparing supper. I’d plunk down in front of the TV, close enough to go blind and stay there until supper was ready. We’d eat supper and then watch more TV until bedtime. I’d read in bed until I got caught and was forced to turn off the light.

My bicycle came out of hibernation sometime in April. It was chilly riding it downhill. The wind whipped at my face. I’d sometimes wear a sweater under my spring jacket. I’d ride with no destination in mind. Some routes were close. Other routes were far away. I seldom saw any other bicyclists.

In those days there was still a town barn with a few horses. It was on a street behind the town hall. I’d stop and watch the horses for a while. They didn’t do much. Mostly they just chewed hay. There was a dairy farm. It was at the edge of town. It was one of my favorite stops. There was a zoo. It is still there. At the golf courses I’d stop and check for errant balls. Sometimes they were across the street on a lawn. Other times they were in gutters along the road. I thought the balls were a bounty. I never gave thought to the golfers whose golf balls went so far astray.

On Saturdays I’d ride around most of the day checking out all my favorite spots, maybe even seeing the train. To the young me, my town was a treasure. I loved exploring it. I always thought it was almost bigger than life.

“Dream big, hop far, and always check behind the tulips.” 

April 5, 2026

I swear I saw what appeared to be a rabbit, but it was bundled, dressed in a winter coat, knit hat and mittens. I saw his breath in the air. Poor rabbit!

The temperature is 53° but it feels much colder. It is cloudy and windy. Rain is likely. I have no plans for the day so I’ll leave my frilly dress and patent leather shoes in the closet.

When I woke up on Easter morning, I made a beeline to my basket. The first thing I always saw was the chocolate rabbit standing up straight. I went for the ears. While I was chomping, I checked out the rest of the basket. I was never disappointed.

When I was an adult, we all still went to my parents’ house for Easter dinner. My mother had baskets for us filled with some candy and small gifts, like earrings. I made her a basket. One year I found an Easter stocking and used it as her basket. It stretched and held all the goodies for my mother. My father’s basket had lots of candy. He loved candy. He used to hide the candy dish filled with Hershey miniatures and Reese’s. That made no difference. We all knew his hiding place. My brother and his family came and always brought my mother a lily.

I was my mother’s sous-chef. We started on the dinner the night before. I sat at the kitchen table cutting vegetable while she was at counter readying other dishes. It was fun to be together chatting and listening to music.That gave us a head start for Easter dinner. I used to set the table with a tablecloth and my mother’s dishes. I put flowers in a vase for the middle of the table, flowers with spring colors. She had a few rabbit dishes we filled with vegetables. The table was wonderfully festive. Dinner was delicious.

I wish you a wonderful Easter Sunday. I hope your baskets are teeming with goodies. I’m guessing the rabbits have no ears.

“Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket.”

April 4, 2026

The morning sky did have a bit of blue earlier, but it got overrun quickly by clouds. It is 48°. Henry is outside barking at a ghost. I used to check to see what he was barking at but mostly I found nothing. He is the dog who cried intruder. My house is quiet. Nala is upstairs on my bed taking her morning nap, but she did have her time in the spotlight. She stole a package of dog treats. I had seen the package in the yard and didn’t know what it was so I went to investigate. On the way, I picked up an empty dog food can, an empty cat food can and some unrecognizable trash. It is no wonder Nala needs a nap.

I have a few house chores and I need to put more books in my little library. That’s it on my dance card. I’m going to spend the rest of the day reading and relaxing. I am only missing the bon bons.

Santa keeps lists. When I was little, if I did something my mother didn’t like, she threatened to tell Santa to put me on the naughty list. She kept me in thrall with that threat. Now that I’m older, much older, I have some questions. Where did naughty come from? I only heard it used around Christmas and in old children’s books. Good and bad would have been just fine. What about the poor Easter Bunny? Santa was incentive. We didn’t want to cross him. The Easter Bunny left baskets no matter how good or naughty we were. Granted, Santa’s gifts were far better, and how would the Easter Bunny carry a bike or a sled in his basket and was all that chocolate worth it? The biggest question is hotly debated. Why is a bunny bringing eggs?

The bunny always left us great Easter baskets. In every basket was always a chocolate bunny. The ears went first. Jelly beans were loose. They were the big beans. Every bean tasted the same. Yellow Peeps were a given as were small, round pieces of chocolate covered in decorative aluminum. Big, colored candy eggs were hard to bite. Their insides were white. Sometimes there was a stuffed bunny, always a bunny. Small toys like jacks and a Fl-back paddle were sometimes in the basket. In my Ghana Easter package, I got a Fli-Back. My friend Bill and I had nightly competitions to see who could go longer without the ball missing the paddle. We were great. I’m talking well over 100 then tragedy struck. The elastic broke. We tied it, but it never worked right again. We lamented the loss.

My candy peeps are open to the air, hardening. That’s the only way I liked them. They arrived in Ghana that way. I have no Easter plans. I didn’t buy new patent leather shoes or a pouffy dress. I’ll be casual and comfy.