“It never gets easier, missing you. And sometimes I wonder if it ever will.”

Last night it rained, not a lot as under the umbrellas is dry. I sat outside to read my first paper. Pandora was set to 60’s rock, the coffee was perfect and the newspaper wasn’t filled with dire events. I call that a great morning.

In the musical Camelot, King Arthur describes Camelot and says, “The rain may never fall till after sundown.” I always thought that a good idea.

I still have bits of the old Sunday in my head. It was a day to recharge for the week. We went to church, came home, got changed, and hung around until after Sunday dinner. Even then we didn’t go far. Sunday seemed to bring a quiet as if it were built in to the day. Even my neighborhood with a million kids was quiet. That’s a piece that hasn’t disappeared. I don’t hear anyone. I hear a bird or two but no people’s’ voices. Not a car has gone up my street. I know if I leave my neighborhood the stores will be open, and cars will have filled parking lots and lines of cars will sit barely moving on the roads, but for now, I’ll stay here and let it be my Sunday.

Each generation gives something to the next. Most times they probably don’t realize it. From my mother we have these wonderful sayings, and we use them all the time with each other. “It’s too cold to snow,” my mother always said. Mostly she was wrong. When it rained, it was a deluge, and my sister told me that the other day. Snow in spring is poor man’s fertilizer, and my father always noted it and so do I. My parents gave us big things, but we use the small ones the most, the every day observations of life. My mother learned them from her mother and passed them along to us without knowing we’d hold on to them so closely. They are precious and very time we use one, we bring my mother or father back with us for a little while.

No one ever told us how difficult it is and how long that feeling lasts when you lose your parents. I suppose we wouldn’t have believed them if they had.

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11 Comments on ““It never gets easier, missing you. And sometimes I wonder if it ever will.””

  1. Hedley Says:

    This is for you my friend Kat, a weekend of reflection and here is Mary Gauthier

    • katry Says:

      My Dear Hedley,
      This song so touched me the tears started, but I think they were just sitting there waiting to happen after I had thought of my parents.

      My parents were amazing: funny and generous and loving. I always hope to be in some small way like them.

  2. Caryn Says:

    Hi Kat,
    I have the leftover, do-nothing, recharging Sunday blues.
    Well, sort of.
    I’m recovering from sipping different ales, eating sample foods and petting adoptable animals of all kinds and conditions at MSPCA Nevins Farm. I’ve never been there. It’s a lovely place to be an adoptable animal.

    Sunday is generally quiet here. There are a lot of kids on the street but they seem to be silent on Sunday. There is not even the normal sound track of my summer days; a basketball being bounced on the street and blooped off the backboard.

    My mother had weird superstitions that were sometimes accompanied by sayings. The only saying that keeps coming back to me is “Shoes on the table, married before you’re able.” Possibly it’s memorable because it doesn’t make any sense, except the part about shoes on the table. I guess.
    Also, all cats were She and all dogs were He. She really thought that was true. I didn’t ask her where she thought puppies and kittens came from.

    It’s getting a bit brighter here so perhaps there will be sun. Enjoy the rest of the day.

    • katry Says:

      Hi Caryn,
      I came back inside, and I’m about to have some fruit for lunch. It is a damp day and the humidity is horrific.

      I am the only one awake here. Gracie, luckily, is not snoring so all is quiet. I didn’t even make my bed and have no intention of doing it.

      I don’t remember any superstitions from my mother. She wasn’t one given to stuff like that or ghosts or men with hooks though she did tell us great stories.

      No sun here-not even a hint!!

      Have a great day!

  3. olof1 Says:

    Thunder and nice rainfalls most of the day here, Sunshine at the moment but thunder is near and will come again. It didn’t get especially hot but the humidity makes it nasty, can’t move much before the sweat starts running 🙂

    Sundays were like Saturdays for me with the exception that the last homewrok had to be done before bed time.

    The wind is blowing hard again so I guess thunder is close so I better stop.
    Have a great day!

    • katry Says:

      I would have loved some of that thunder. Our rain was quiet, but, like yours, it left thick humidity.

      Saturdays were the fun days. We could do whatever we wanted. I rode my bike a lot, and then there were the movies.

      Still dark and quiet here.

      Have a great evening!

  4. Bob Says:

    Sundays used to be very quiet when I was growing up because we had “Blue” laws that kept most businesses closed on Sunday. About the only business that can’t operate on Sundays is the automobile retail business. The car dealers have a very strong lobby in every state. Today, Sunday is just another day of the week for many except they don’t have to go to work. Here in the US we consider ourselves religious but church attendance has been declining for years according to statistics. During the same time period both attendance and the TV ratings of NFL football games on Sunday afternoons has skyrocketed. Maybe we only have changed the venue of our worship. 🙂

    The really strange part is that when your parents are alive you think that they will live forever because they have always been in your life. After they have gone it becomes difficult to remember all the things they said and did. My mother has been gone since I was 13 and I can’t remember the sound of her voice although I remember her silly sayings. Who today would say, “Don’t open an umbrella in the house it brings bad luck”. My father has been gone over ten years but I have video tapes of him so his voice will not be completely lost until all the VCRs are in junk yards.

    • katry Says:

      We also had blue laws here, and we were one of the last states to repeal them. The repeal was slow and in increments.

      Going to church is about the only thing which distinguishes this day from the others, and I also think there are more family barbecues in the afternoons.

      I am so sorry you were so young when you lost your mother. You didn’t get a chance to see her with adult eyes, but I’m glad those silly sayings are still with you.

      My dad died too soon, and I mis his laugh most of all.

  5. peterrocker Says:

    Beautiful Kat. Just beautiful. Plus Hedley’s contribution.

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