“I was pretty much equipped, by experience and inclination, for mayhem.” 

My pointer finger on one hand is down for the count while the one on the other is working above and beyond expectations making me the world’s fastest one handed typist. I am also the master of typos. I’m almost inclined to leave them as part of a contest to correct the errors. I even mystified Duck Duck Go. I’d call it Guess the Word.

Last night I went to bed and didn’t take my pain pill because it wasn’t quite time. At 5 am I had no choice. I went downstairs. The dogs followed. I let them out, took a pill and went back to bed. We all slept until 10:30. I’m on my second cup of coffee.

Before I left the hospital I had dinner: pot roast, mashed and carrots. I had chocolate pudding for dessert but by-passed the other dessert, the brownie, too hard, tooth breaking hard. The mashed were perfect. I could make a meal out of mashed with gravy. I did the old trick I used to do as a kid: capture the carrots with the potatoes. That made eating easier. The only sad part was I couldn’t cut the meat. I used my fork and sort of sawed it off. The nurse saw me struggling and cut my meat. I was back to childhood, having my meat cut again.

Yesterday I had a revelation. Before the incident, I had bought a variety of cereal in the small boxes, but I only had a few left, one being Fruit Loops. I ate them for dinner. They were tasty. Who knew? I seldom strayed as a kid from my Rice Krispies. The only two boxes I have left are hay bales, my name for Shredded Wheat. I have a box for lunch and another for dinner, no meat to cut.

I have my car. I’ll need to go to the dump tomorrow as there are bags of trash in the trunk. As Robert Burns wrote, “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men. Gang aft a-gley.” I had planned to go on Thursday but then came the mayhem.

Today is cloudy but warm. I may stay on the deck and read, the perfect plan.

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2 Comments on ““I was pretty much equipped, by experience and inclination, for mayhem.” ”

  1. Bob Says:

    Hi Kat,

    Hospital food has improved immensely since hospitals now compete for you business. The last time I was admitted was several years ago and I was amazed at the quality of the food and that all the rooms are now very snazzy private rooms. Most of the hospitals here are owned by groups of doctors and managed by a few large corporations. As we baby boomers age, it will become more and more profitable to be in the healthcare business. I used to say that medicine is a science when the patient lives and an art when the patient dies. Now it’s just big business tied to the insurance companies regardless of the outcome for the patient.

    I certainly understand how much we rely on having two working hands. When I was a kid in the third grade, I broke my left arm falling off a monkey bars. During the weeks that my left hand was incapacitated, I became somewhat amber dexterous. My better half is so right hand dominant that her left hand is mostly an appendage.

    After going to the dump you should take your pain medicine and go to bed. Hopefully, someone at the dump will help you unload your bags of trash.

    • katry Says:

      Hi Bob,
      The food at Cape Cod Hospital is quite good. I loved the pot roast dinner, and I could have eaten more mashed potatoes. The last time I was there I had breakfast a couple of times. They too were excellent.

      The three times I was there, I had the single rooms. They are quite spacious. I even had a couch and some chairs in what I called the living room end of the room. It is so much nicer to have no roommate.

      I did write my signature with my left hand to give my consent for surgery. The surgeon was amazed he could read my name and it was totally on the line. The number of iPads being used is massive.

      If there is a guy near the trash containers, he is always willing to help. A guy at the recyclables always runs to empty my car for me. After the dump, I do need to get bread and cream. It will. be a short stop then I will definitely nap. I did today.


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