“You can’t teach calculus to a chimpanzee. So just share your banana.”

My house was TP’ed yesterday, inside. I went out a couple of times. The first time, after my uke concert, I went home. Everything was just fine. I fed the besties, let them out, changed my clothes and went to Event the Second. It was a birthday/barbecue for a friend’s son. I stayed for a few hours, chatted, drank a couple of mimosas and ate the best barbecue. When I got home, I saw white TP all over downstairs, some tiny, soaked pieces, some huge pieces of the roll and finally the dead cardboard roll itself. I say dead because it had no paper. That was all over the floor. Miss Nala had taken a full roll of toilet paper from the upstairs bathroom, not usually her hunting spot. What amuses Nala always surprises me. She did bring a few stolen goods back to the deck from the yard this morning, but many more remain. I am going to the dump today so maybe I need to pick up all the cardboard and paper in the yard. Then again, maybe not.

The house is quiet during morning nap time. Nala is here with me while Henry is upstairs on my bed, or rather our bed. The cats too are sleeping, but I am only guessing about Jack. I didn’t see him when I gave Gwen morning treats, filled her water bowl and gave her a few cans of cat food. I put some in Jack’s dish too, but Gwen may get there first.

When I was a kid, I hated feeding Duke. He got two cans of dog food every day. It took effort to use the can opener, the silver one almost every kitchen in American had. Slicing a finger was always a possibility. Still is. I slit a finger last week on a dog food can top. The last reason and the most overwhelming was the smell. That food looked and smelled disgusting. I’d plop it into Duke’s dish, break it up a bit and then put the dish down. Duke had been circling while impatiently waiting. He’d immediately attack his food as if it had been days since he’d last eaten. My two dogs do the same thing now. Henry is food motivated. Nala is still a puppy who eats everything. This morning the three of us shared a banana. They looked disappointed. I think they were hoping for Cocoa Puffs.

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4 Comments on ““You can’t teach calculus to a chimpanzee. So just share your banana.””

  1. Bob Says:

    Hi Kat,

    Today the prognosticators of the weather say we will reach the century markin temperature one more time before autumn arrives. I think up north they called this something like, “Indian Summer”.

    Nala is very ingenious. Who would figure a dog would enjoy a roll of toilet paper, it has no odor?

    Many years ago my father was sharing a house with a friend. The friend had a baby chimpanzee which he would dress up in cowboy outfits to entertain at kid birthday parties. My dad would prepare the chimp’s dinner by cutting up fruits and vegetables in the kitchen. The chimp, named Dena, would sit in a high chair in the kitchen and become extremely excited as my father prepared its food every evening. The Chimps could only work until they reached puberty. After that they become very strong and aggressive.

    Most animals are food driven. I had a student who lived in Kenton Ohio. He had a large pond on his property and the fish would gather at one end at five in the evening where he would throw out hand fulls of pellets of fish food. He didn’t have to even call them.

    • katry Says:

      HI Bob,
      We never even came close to 100˚ this summer or most summers. I lived in 100˚. It was dry but it was still beastly. We aren’t yet close to Indian summer. It has been too warm. Indian summer is a stretch of warm weather usually after the first frost. Usually that is late October or sometime in November.

      The roll was in the last in a plastic bag. It was beside the toilet in the upstairs bathroom. That she was there and exploring is strange enough. Nala likes a bit of fun.

      Do you remember J. Fred Muggs on Dave Garroway? I went looking for when he was on TV and found a site with this wonderful quote,

      The Russian newspaper, Izvestia, described J. Fred Muggs, as “a symbol of the American way of life”, and said, “Muggs is necessary in order that the average American should not look into reports on rising taxes, and decreasing pay, but rather laugh at the funny mug of a chimpanzee.”

      Cats can eat anytime. I haven’t yet had a food driven cat. I guess they think themselves far too sophisticated. Even tank fish respond to their feeding time. I think all of us do!

      • Bob Says:

        I think that only you, me and the Broadcast Museum remember J. Fred Mugs or Dave Garroway.

        I had forgotten that “Indian Summer” comes after the first freeze. However, earlier this week we were in the low to mid 80s which is as close to freezing as it gets around here in September. 🙂

      • katry Says:

        J. Fred Muggs made quite an impression. I loved that he was dressed.

        Low 80’s is a major heat wave here.

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