“Commies made him an atomic mutant!”

Today I had a late start given I didn’t wake up until after ten because of my still being up and about at two thirty this morning. Even Henry wanted to go to bed so he waited impatiently by pacing until I was ready. It didn’t matter I was so late waking up as I had my usual leisurely morning. The paper held my attention for the longest time. On the sports page, the column by Peter Abraham had me aghast and horrified, not by what he wrote but by the heading “Greiving Cora found solace fleeting in shutout victory.” What happened to spellcheck and even worse what about I before e except after c (there are exceptions, of course, as the English language is filled with exceptions)? The former English teacher came out in me and I circled the word in red.

Last night we had our movie night. My friends decided it was the worst movie any of us had ever seen, even I agreed which is a surprise as I watch bad scifi movies just because. The movie was Beast of Yucca Flats. It starts with a nude woman coming out of the shower who is then strangled by someone with a large hand. This scene had nothing to do with the action which followed. A Russian defector is being chased by the KBG. I gave up counting the number of shots hitting no one including during a car chase. The scientist, played by Tor Johnson, flees into the desert. In the heat he begins to take off his clothes. He then gets too close to the detonation of an A-bomb and is turned into a murderous beast. People get strangled, kids get lost, the sheriff shoots 8 or 9 or even more times at the wrong man, the father looking for his kids. The monster chases the kids. The law chases the monster. The father hunts for his kids. The mother stands all night by the side of the road, purse in hand, waiting for her husband. The monster is found and shot. End of story. Here is the best part: this movie has no soundtrack. The producer couldn’t afford it. The narrator tells most of the story, and when characters talk, you never see their mouths because the sound and theΒ narration were added in post-production, after the movie was finished. We laughed all the way through. I think it is the only way to watch this movie. What saved us was the movie is only 54 minutes long. I’m going to leave you with some favorite quotes:

“Vacation time. People travel East. West. North. Or South.”

“Nothing bothers some people. Not even flying saucers.” ( there are no flying saucers)

“Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast. ”

“Boys from the city. Not yet caught by the whirlwind of Progress. Feed soda pop to the thirsty pigs.”

My favorite: “A hundred and ten in the shade. And no shade.”

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13 Comments on ““Commies made him an atomic mutant!””

  1. olof1 Says:

    It sounds like a movie I would love πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I do agree, that last quote is just perfect πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    It has been so hot here today that we all mostly have been sleeping and I don’t think I’ll have any problems falling asleep later tonight. Tomorrow will be even warmer they say πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    I’ll never complain about a cool and rainy summer again I think πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Have a great day!

    Christer.

    • katry Says:

      Christer,
      This was such a bad movie we laughed most of the way through. The voiceover was just awful.

      We have had high humidity. I’m still using my air conditioner. Outside is just oppressive.

      In Arizona they recorded a temperature of 120˚. People have been warned to stay inside. Everywhere is suffering.

      Have a great evening!

  2. Caryn Says:

    Hi Kat,
    I had to look up Beast of Yucca Flats. You and your friends are correct. At the time, the reviewers said it was possibly the worst film ever made. The opening murder scene was added in post production because the producer liked nude scenes. The budget was $34,000.00. The voice-over was referred to as “omniscient narration”. Now I have to watch. πŸ™‚

    I read an electronic version of The Washington Post on my Kindle every morning. The typos in it are numerous and daily. I’m guessing nobody edits this as it updates constantly throughout the day. One can even see where the writer has had thoughts about which way to phrase something, wrote both down and didn’t pick one. I twitch a lot while I’m reading WaPo and not just because of the content.

    Everybody here was content to luxuriate in bed this morning which was good because everyone was awake at 4AM. We just weren’t doing anything about it.

    Enjoy the evening.

    • Bob Says:

      Newspapers have always gone with the proposition that if it’s readable it goes to press. In today’s electronic news 24 hr. cycle readable is good enough because in a couple of hours or even minutes the story will be gone. πŸ™‚ I think the NY Times masthead reads “All the news that fits we print” πŸ™‚

      • katry Says:

        Bob,
        Newspapers need to do better. We need someplace where the language is still correct to serve as a model or even a memory if things continue as they have been.

    • katry Says:

      Hi Caryn,
      Unbelievable, that nude scene made no sense to us as the hand wasn’t even the one of the beast. Now I know. I love the β€œomniscient narration”. It is a bit like the Greek chorus.

      I couldn’t take that. The English teacher in me would be screaming. The language has deteriorated in. a variety of ways. I want print to step forward and be a model of good English.

      I had to go to the dump and the library. I also stopped at the farm stand and got tomatoes, corn, just picked Romaine and something called a lemon cucumber. It is round. I have n o idea what to do with it, a salad I figured which is why I bought the Romaine.

      Have a great night!

  3. Bob Says:

    The prize for the worst movie ever made could go to either the clunker you watched last night or my favorite, Plan Nine From Outer Space. I think Hollywood should give an annual miniature plastic Oscar statuette to the worst film made each year. Bad SiFi films would be awarded a plastic flying saucer. πŸ™‚

    Every year the best college football teams hope to be awarded a trip to a bowl game in a warm weather venue between Christians and New Years. I propose that a bowl game be played annually between the worst two teams in division one college football and call it the Toilet Bowl. The game could be matched to the Toilet festival including the crowning of the Toilet Queen. The game would be played out of doors and sponsored by the Kholer Company and played in their home town Sheboygan Wisconsin in January. πŸ™‚

    I don’t think we give enough credit for true failures. It takes a lot of effort to produce the worst movie or to field the worst sports team. Why not give credit where credit is due. Mediocrity is easy.

    The cold front came through last night and it rained a little this morning and it’s a chilly 88 degrees right now. My AC finnally stopped running continuously for the last couple of weeks.

    • Bob Says:

      Darn auto correct: “Between Christmas and New Years”.

    • katry Says:

      Bob,
      The one I saw is considered even worse than Plan Nine. At least Plan Nine had dialogue. I like the idea of a plastic flying saucer. There are some really bad ones still being made.

      There is a toilet bowl museum in Ohio, not all that far from the Football Hall of Fame. I saw the sign on the way back to Cleveland from the Hall, but it was too late to go. I can’t imagine people wanting to watch the worst teams. As it is there are so many bowl games that even teams with not so great records are invited to one.

      I do agree it takes a lot of effort to produce the worst movie. Look at all the Ed Wood movies. Most of them were really bad.

      Wow 88˚ is really cold compared to your previous temperatures. My AC is on because of the humidity.

      • Bob Says:

        In the early 90s I had a student named Terry Kholer. He was a family member who lived in Sheboygan. He just played around with airplanes. He probably had a large monthly allowance from a trust fund. In the 1970s I had a Student named Charlie Hughes from San Angelo who also had a trust fund. He was a cousin of Howard Hughes. Another student in the early 80s named Alinda Wickart also had a trust fund from her grandfather, H.L. Hunt. She bought a Learjet charter company and raised the pilot’s salaries 50% on day one. I don’t think she ever made a dime from the company. It takes a lot of money to just fool around with airplanes. πŸ™‚

      • katry Says:

        Bob,
        What a fun hobby for all these rich people! Here I am saving for another trip to Ghana. Int would be quite easy had I my own plane!!

      • Bob Says:

        As I remember Terry was involved in flying a WWII amphibian airplane called a PBY Catalina and was involved in some type of conservation project in Chile. Most wealthy people have their own airplanes but only a few take up flying and then fly the airplane themselves. When Charlie was my student in 1974 he was getting $4,000 a month from his trust fund. He was 25 at the time.

        John Travolta is one of our clients. He gets his training in the middle of the night so that he doesn’t get mobbed. One instructor asked him why he has no gray hair considering his age on his pilot certificate. John reached up and lifted his toupee from his head and said, this is why. πŸ™‚

      • katry Says:

        Bob,
        I knew John Travolta had his pilot’s lessons. I remember reading it somewhere. How awful to arrange your life so you don’t get mobbed.

        $4000 back then a a good chunk of change. I would have loved it.


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