“I have so much of you in my heart.”

Today is Mother’s Day. It is the day I honor my mother and my memories of her. Every year I post basically this same entry with only a few little changes.

My mother was amazing. She was generous, fun to be with and was the perfect martyr when she needed to be, a skill I think most mothers have. It was her tone of voice so filled with pain that caused our guilt to well to the surface. “I’ll do it myself,” she’d say. We’d scurry to do whatever she wanted.

My sisters and I laugh often about the curses she inflicted on us: the love of everything Christmas and never thinking you have enough presents for everyone, giving Easter baskets overflowing with candy and fun toys and surprising people with a gift just because.

My mother had a generosity of spirit. She was funny and smart and the belle of every ball. She always had music going in the kitchen as she worked so she could sing along. She played Frank and Tony and Johnny and from her I learned the old songs. My mother drew all the relatives to her, and her house was filled. My cousins visited often. She was their favorite aunty. My mother loved to play Big Boggle, and we’d sit for hours at the kitchen table and play so many games we’d lose track of the time. Christmas was always amazing, and she passed this love to all of us. We traveled together, she and I, and my mother was game for anything. I remember Italy and my mother and me after dinner at the hotel bar where she’d enjoy her cognac. She never had it any other time, but we’re on vacation she said and anything goes. I talked to her just about every day, as did my sisters. I loved it when she came to visit. We’d shop, have dinner out then play games at night. I always waited on her when she was here. I figured it was the least I could do.

My mother loved extreme weather shows, TV judges and crime. She never missed Judge Judy. She also liked quiz shows and she and I used to play Jeopardy together on the phone at night. She always had a crossword puzzle book with a pen inside on the table beside her chair, and I used to try to fill in some of the blanks. On the dining room table was often a jig saw puzzle, and we all stopped to add pieces on the way to the kitchen. My mother loved a good time.

She did get feisty, and I remember flying slippers aimed at my head when I was a kid and one time a dictionary, a big dictionary, was thrown which luckily missed me though the binding broke when it hit the wall. I pointed that out to her and that made her madder. She expertly used mother’s guilt on us, her poor victims. We sometimes drove her crazy, and she let us know, none too quietly. We never argued over politics. She kept her opinions close. We sometimes argued over other things, but the arguments never lasted long.

Even after all this time, I still think to reach for the phone to call my mother when I see something interesting or have a question I know only she can answer, but then in a split second I remember. When I woke up this morning, my first thought was of her, and how much she is missed. No one ever told me how hard it would be.

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14 Comments on ““I have so much of you in my heart.””

  1. Bob Says:

    I find it sad that we have to delegate a particular day of the year to honor our parents. Both of mine are gone and I don’t honor their memory any more on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day than on any other day. Instead Mother’s Day has become another, “Hallmark” holiday. Between the florist industry and the restaurant business Mother’s Day is just another excuse to separate us from our hard earned money. I would like to think that most of us would honor our mother by doing some of her chores on this day but it’s easier for most people to just buy a card or take her to brunch.

    My mother died in January of 1961 and my memories of her have faded over the years. I’m always amazed at how we elevate people to semi-sainthood after they have died. Of course Adolf Hitler is the obvious exception for most people. 🙂 Everyone has both good and not so good traits. In the end how we are remembered by our family and friends after we have died is all that remains.

    Today is basically a repeat of yesterday’s beautiful weather.

    • katry Says:

      Bob,
      You are such a cynic. I always thought today was when we all got together as a family to honor my mom. It wasn’t easy getting us all to her house to celebrate. It just didn’t happen on ordinary days.

      I honor the memory of my parents all the time, but it is on Mother’s and Father’s Days when I give them special thoughts, special thanks for all they did. You don’t need flowers or a restaurant to celebrate the day. We used to make dinner for my mother, and I usually gave her a gift certificate to the garden shop.

      My memories of my parents are vivid. I don’t see them as perfect. I see them as loving.

      The sun is struggling to come out.

      • Bob Says:

        Unfortunately, my sister and I rarely get together. And since she is a huge Trumpster I stopped viewing her Facebook page and I speak with her even less.

        Of course I am a cynic. It’s more fun being cynical than being gullible. I enjoy pointing out life’s foibles and shinning a light into the dark side. Occasionally, I enjoy the good things in life but usually it’s good to have a balance. 🙂

      • katry Says:

        Bob,
        I don’t think the choice is between cynical and gullible. Those are both extremes. I think there is skeptical which fits in-between the two. Cynical also means scornful and derisive which is not how I choose to live my life. I want to be hopeful despite everything.

        I talk to my sisters all the time but not my brother. The has always isolated himself from the rest of us.

      • Spaceman Says:

        It’s hardly a good balance not to talk to your sister

      • katry Says:

        Spaceman,
        I talk to my sisters all the time. It is my brother I never see or talk with. He has chosen to freeze my sisters and me out of his life. We tried to connect but he never answered our phone messages. After a while, we all decided it was pointless.

      • Spaceman Says:

        Unfortunately everyone seems to have something like that in their families – including my own family. And as you say, you can’t make someone who has chosen to isolate themselves participate. It’s a shame and baffling to me, anyway.

      • katry Says:

        Spaceman,
        It saddens me to have lost my brother. He was angry at my sisters and included me which I have never understood.

  2. olof1 Says:

    We don’t celebrate Mother’s Day here until the last Sunday of this month but I always enjoy reading about Your parents.

    Have a great day!

    Christer.

    • katry Says:

      Christer,
      My parents were wonderful.

      My father and I had our differences, and they sometimes got heated, but he was still a great father despite his politics.

      Have a great day!

  3. William Sandford Says:

    Patty and her daughter Katie came from Maryland on Friday and had to leave today. They are driving Marty’s car back. Yesterday we went to the Greater Concord Yard Sale and sold $1200 baskets.😁 Got home at 3 and had dinner at 5: Kev and Becky brought marinated chicken on stix, Kathy and Ed brought bratwurst and salads, Lisa and Peter brought the girls and flowers, and Katie brought cakes. We also had ribs. Are you hungry yet? Marty was here and Kathy brought him back to his apartment. I had some mango rum which we had found when cleaning out his house.
    The sale goes through on June 8th. It will be good to close that chapter.

    • katry Says:

      Bill,
      Yup, I’m totally hungry and envious. I love ribs and chicken and salads and cake. Did I mention bratwurst?

      You are quite the salesman. That’s a whole lot of baskets!! Great job!!

      All your work made the sale of the house go quickly That definitely has to be a load off your minds. My mother’s house didn’t go as quickly but it only took a few weeks. My brother, of course, did nothing!

      I have been invited to a Mother’s Day dinner at Tony and Clare’s. Tony sent the invite. he does this every year, and it is wonderful. I wonder what Henry will be doing to celebrate the day!

  4. Hedley Says:

    It’s Mrs MDHs day.

    The kids gathered at my daughters house, Spurs won, games were played, flowers gifted and a brunch enjoyed. We walked for a while as a family

    Today I salute my wife who is a wonderful Mother – we are all blessed

    • katry Says:

      My Dear Hedley,
      The day sounds perfect. All the pieces went together wonderfully and even the Spurs helped. You can add the Celtics as well!

      My mother is missed every day!


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