“Parents. Honestly. Sometimes they really do think the world revolves around them.”
We have sun or maybe we had sun. I woke up and the morning was bright. I got the papers and checked out the garden. The yellow crocus have opened, and there are more of them. The sky is a cloudy blue. The sun keeps disappearing behind the clouds for a bit but has always come back. I’ll take the here again, gone again sun. It’s the best we’ve had for days.
I did not do the laundry yesterday. I walked around it on my way to the kitchen. I even added to it. I’ll try and work up enough energy to do it today, but I don’t really care.
Growing up is never easy. There are all sorts of things to learn, and I always learned the hard way when it came to my parents. I didn’t understand irony for a long time but then I mastered it. They weren’t pleased with me.
My mother used to say, “I see said the blindman as he picked up his hammer and saw.” I didn’t get it at first, but by the time I was eight or nine I understood what she meant. It was also about then I also started learning about tone. “It’s not what you say, but how you say it,” was another often heard phrase from my mother, usually directed at me.
My mother was an expert at guilt. If we were asked to do something and replied, “In a minute,” she would use that sad voice of hers and say, “Never mind. I’ll just do it myself.” The never mind was stretched out to the next block when she said it, and it was like a knife to the heart. We always scurried to do what she asked. I swear she smiled.
My parents were big on rhetorical questions, but I usually answered them anyway. “Do you think I have all day to clean up after you?” begged for an answer. “Do you think?” seemed an opening. It wasn’t. My father used to tell me not to answer back. I used to tell him he asked. I never won that debate.
I remember my father once telling me to help put the groceries away. It was an early Friday evening as that was always grocery time. I told him I was going out. He said do it. By then I had become an expert at deciphering tone, and I knew his well. I did what I was told with little grousing. In the process of putting the eggs in their little wells in the fridge, I dropped a couple. It was due to carelessness and speed. My father said he should have had my sister do it (the one seven years younger). I agreed and said I told you I was going out anyway. He didn’t appreciate my well honed skills at sarcasm and went ballistic on me.
I didn’t go out that night.
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keepthecoffeecoming.blog 
March 10, 2018 at 3:22 pm
Jewish mothers are experts at throwing guilt. “Mom, bad boys beat me up on the way home from school.” Her reply, “What did you do to make them angry at you?” 😦 My mother’s favorite was if I was going to do something she didn’t like, she would say, “If you do ____, I’m going to put my head in the oven”. I would reply that she should go ahead because we had an electric stove. 🙂
My father traveled from most Mondays through Friday and my mother would threaten us that she would tell him what we did when he got home on Friday night. Usually she would forget.
I’m amazed at how much of my and my wife’s parenting style came from our parents. I read a couple of books on making the kids problem his instead of you problem. This involved using empathy and a certain tone. Instead, my spouse and I reverted to our parent’s methods of guilt and screaming. My mother would get so frustrated at us she would throw shoes at us. I’ve never done that one yet. 🙂
Clear skies with mid seventies temperatures and I’m too lazy to go outside.
March 10, 2018 at 3:36 pm
Bob,
I have to think all sorts of mothers are good at guilting their kids. My mother was a master, and she seldom failed at getting us to do what she wanted.
When I was a junior in high school, my father was transferred. My parents decided to move us after school had ended for the year so my father was gone until Friday afternoon, and he’d leave Mondays. My mother was the easy parent, and we took advantage. She made the same threats.
Not having kids, I can’t say I’d become my pairings when it came to discipline. My brother has two kids. He went totally the opposite and cajoled his kids. They ignored both parents. Finally, my brother realized that laissez-faire child rearing wouldn’t work.
I’m doing nothing again.
March 10, 2018 at 8:17 pm
In some respects not having kids is a blessing. You can’t be blamed by them that you screwed up their lives and you you can retire to your own Caribbean island on the money you saved over the years. 🙂
March 10, 2018 at 8:54 pm
Bob,
My parents were the best. I didn’t agree with my dad politically and that made for some arguments, but I never blamed my parents for anything.
I have spent my money in all sorts of ways so no Caribbean island for me.
March 11, 2018 at 12:16 am
No sun yesterday for us either nor did we get the fog they had predicted either but it was rather nice outside anyway since there was no wind.
No daylight saving time here until the last weekend this month. They are finally discussing about skipping it but the entire EU has to agree to do it. I wouldn’t mind staying on daylight saving time all year round but I don’t care which as long as we don’t change the time twice every year.
I laughed out loud reading the last part today 🙂 🙂 I too have that gift and have had to pay for it several times :-):-)
Have a great day!
Christer.
March 11, 2018 at 12:21 pm
Christer,
I thought yesterday was an ugly, cold day. It seems all the days are the same. First we had cloudy days, and now we have sunny in the morning and cloudy the rest of the day.
They voted an early daylight savings time, but I don’t remember why. There are currently no plans to change the twice a year changes.
My father just didn’t appreciate my sarcasm, and I was quite good at it.
Have a wonderful Sunday!!