“If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.”

The reason for my tardiness is I spend Mondays with my neighbor. She is the neighbor who just became a citizen. We used to go over the citizenship questions, but mow we sit and talk just so she can practice her English. Usually I stay an hour or an hour and a half. Today we lost track of the time, and it was two and a half hours.

The day is just about perfect. All that’s missing is the sun, and I’m just fine with that. There is nice breeze keeping the house cool, the birds are singing loudly and the kids are quiet. I have nothing to do today. I was going to water the outside plants, but it rained last night. I don’t know how much or how long it rained as I slept through it. The wet deck was the only evidence.

The cat, Fern, woke me up the other night. She nipped my elbow. That was the first time in nearly 18 years she has ever nipped me. I woke up with a start. She was purring and then ran her head under my hand. She had woken me up because I was ignoring her need to be patted. After I had finished, she let me sleep.

The other day I bought cat food, dog food and dog treats. The treats are dried chicken strips. I put the bag on the floor as I was carrying so much, and that bag was quite heavy with all the cans. Later that night, Gracie was in the den, with me. She was scratching at the rug. I figured one of her toys must be under that rug so I got up to retrieve it. Well, it wasn’t a toy. It was the bag of treats. Gracie had gone into the bag, moved a couple of dog food cans out of the way and grabbed the treat bag in her mouth. That was the first time Gracie has ever done that.

My animals are getting brazen as they age. Gracie is nearly 12. Fern has been so sick I have been babying her so she must think I have given tacit permission to be harassed.

My father once said he would love to come back as a pet in any of our houses. Mine would be a great choice. He’d get the best dog food, canned and dried, the best dog treats and a couch to sleep on during the day and a bed at night. If a cat, my dad would get canned and dry food, pine litter instead of that awful clay and cat treats, mostly Temptations. He would be able to sleep on any couch, chair or bed. The only drawback would be those trips to the vets. My father always hated having to go to the doctor’s.

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6 Comments on ““If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.””


  1. We’ve had a rather cool day here with lots of showers and a steady strong wind, it died out for a while but has started again thankfully. I like anything that keeps the flies away 🙂

    I brought Nova to the new vet and it seems to be an ok place, hard to guess anything really after the first visit. She needs antibiotics and special ear drops and an extra ear cleaner, she’ll hate me tomorrow when we start with the treatment.

    None of my cats have ever accepted asnything else than the clay, if I try and change it they pee beside the litter box 🙂 The two living here now also only eat one brand of dry food and refuse to eat any kind of wet food 🙂

    I’m used to thieveing dogs 🙂 but to be honest, neither Nova nor Sune has ever stolen anything but they are the only ones. Albin will become a thief, I can see that already now 🙂

    have a great day!

    Christer.

    • katry Says:

      Christer,
      We need rain so badly. Today was pleasant, but it is now getting a bit humid. The whole state is in a drought condition.

      I gave Maddie a bit of a swipe of her medicine in her ear for her thyroid condition, and I didn’t see her the whole day. Fern gets one in each ear and goes back to sleep. She also has one in her mouth, but that one she hates. The dog gets a pill in her food every day. The vet loves me!!

      Mine were 5 when I adopted them, and they took to the pine litter easily. Maddie in the last few months won’t use the littler boxes. She goes on puppy training paper. I’m going to try clay litter with her. I don’t like it as it takes years to biodegrade while the pine litter is biodegradable. They eat the dry food as a treat as they prefer canned food.

      Gracie has stolen cans from the trash, but she sneaks it outside so I won’t catch her. This is the first time she’s stolen her own treats.

      Have a great evening!

  2. Bob Says:

    My aunt used to say a similar thing about coming back as a dog in a ____ household. Insert your favorite ethnic grandma brand. We treat our pets better than anyone other than our kids. We feed them excellent food, give them a nice place to live and we don’t make them suffer when they have a terminal illness. We are smart enough to just have them gently put to sleep rather then making them suffer a long painful death march.

    Dogs are smart enough to manipulate us into giving them everything they want. Unfortunately, we take them to the vet to be neutered. Not even a vasectomy but castrated. 🙁

    Another triple digit afternoon but thankfully with low humidity. The technictions are still working to get our AC running at 100%.

    • katry Says:

      Bob,
      My sisters and I have multiple pets. I’m the only one with a dog. All my animals have canned food every day and dry food is always available. They also have assorted treats, but the dog has the most and the greatest variety.

      All my animals are females and have gone in for surgery when they were six months. The male cats I’ve had did have their own surgery at 7 or 8 months. The vet said they need to be close to full grown before the surgery.

      I hope they get the AC fixed. You really do need it!

  3. Caryn Says:

    Hi Kat,
    My current dogs, Rocky and Piki Dog, are not too bad about stealing things. Piki Dog takes my shoes if I go out and leave them behind. He doesn’t hide them. He just distributes them around the house in singles or unmatched pairs. They both were bad when they were much younger but appear to have grown out of most of it.

    My old dog Tegan was the queen of thievery. She was crate trained and the cardinal rule of crate training is that one never punishes the dog with the crate or when they are in the crate. Tegan turned this to the dark side. If she wanted to destroy something, she would steal it and take it to her crate. No amount of bribery with hot dogs or even red meat would get her to give up the thing until it was chewed to her satisfaction. Then I could have it back. For a price. A lot of my mother’s bamboo sandals met their demise that way as did the bark breaker training device I foolishly thought would work on her.

    Today was cool and overcast and kind of humid. Nevertheless, I opened all the windows and shut off the AC. Fresh unconditioned air again. Great!

    Enjoy the day.

    • katry Says:

      Hi Caryn,
      This is Gracie’s first theft from the bag though she has taken stuff from a trash bag open on the floor and run out to the backyard. She is quite good at taking it when I’m in a different room. I find cat cans in the yard which give her away.

      Gracie doesn’t take anything to her crate. I thing she figures she’d get caught there, and I’d take away her treasures. I haven’t ever caught her taking stuff out the dog door, and she is quite adept at being quiet.

      I hadn’t had the air on all day yesterday and today, but I just turned it on. The house got really muggy, and it was beginning to be uncomfortable.

      Have a great evening!


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