“I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.”

Everything went well yesterday except for the lie. The periodontist told me I’d feel a small pin prick when he put in the novocaine. I nearly jumped out of my seat from the pain. I swear the needle was so large it went through one gum across my mouth to the other. I barely noticed when he gave me the next two needles.

The surgery itself was painless. I now have two holes in my gums, one in the upper and one in the lower. The dentist covered the holes with band-aids which were pink like bubble gum and had the same consistency. He said they should last a few days or even a week. The first one fell off about two hours after I got home. The second one fell off this morning. He’s right about the two holes. I checked.

The coldest weather of the winter will be here tomorrow. The day will be relatively warm, in the upper teens, while the night could get as low as -20˚. Sunday will be the coldest. Daytime temperatures are expected to be below zero, as low as -15˚. If I hear singing and see little people dressed in red and green dancing down the street, I won’t even question my sanity. I’ll just look for the big guy.

I think I should start a do you believe it crime story of the day. The Globe reported three men were arrested for armed robbery. They were quickly found as each was wearing a police ankle monitor.

The town where I grew up still has a weekly newspaper called The Independent. It was founded in 1870. My favorite part to read when I was a kid was the police blotter. It reported all calls to the police station including such police emergencies as a cat stuck in a tree, kids shouting to each other as they walked down the street and a woman hearing noises in her backyard.

The calls now are about real crimes like robberies, break-in and drugs, but I do have a favorite: “Veterans Lane street sign including pole is missing.” That one boggles my mind. How did no one notice the pole being dug up and taken away? This next one seems to indicate a lack of communication between town departments, “The blinking green light has gone out and must be replaced immediately as it is the traffic light of the fire station.” I’ll leave you with this one and the comment related to it: “Our neighbors’ back yard is filled with empty Pepsi cans. They liter in their own back yard as well as our back yard. It is outrageous and someone needs to stop them. Thank you.” The comment, by a man named David, also included a picture of two crushed cans. Beside the picture was this comment, “Too much liter.” I’m thinking he should buy it in 20 oz. bottles instead.

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9 Comments on ““I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.””

  1. olof1 Says:

    I laughed out loud when reading about the three robbers 🙂
    Yes the police reports were always more innocent when we were younger, now it’s filled with real crimes sadly enough.

    We used to have those low temperatures here and it could stay like that for a week or two but not even the snowy winter we had a few years ago came even close to being that cold. I’ve never mind if it has been that cold since it here always mean no wind and always sunny weather. Everything outside, including our cottages would be covered in thick rime, so muc´h better than thick snow.

    We’ll get chilly weather for a week here and some sunshine they say so I’m not complaining for once 🙂

    Have a great day!

    Christer.

  2. Birgit Says:

    The missing pole sounds funny but it could easily happen here. Since rates for scrap metal are quite high we have a huge metal theft problem. Professional gangs of thieves steal everything from graveyard decorations and public art up to big machines and 10000 volt live railroad power lines. Very annoying.
    Latest funny news: a kangaroo escaped and hops through the woods now.
    Stay warm and healthy!

    • katry Says:

      Birgit,
      Here they steal copper from houses, even whole sets of drain pipes from the front of the house.

      Wow, they are certainly brazen thieves!

      Good for the kangaroos!

      Big time warnings from the weather man about the cold coming-could be a new record!

  3. Richard Says:

    “Back to the days of Christopher Robin … ?” Ehh, not so much. This tale brings back way too many memories of dentist visits. The one that’s most memorable occurred when I was a sophomore in college. I didn’t know any dentists in the town, but my roommates said they had a fraternity brother who was a dentist. Okay. I made an appointment. He looked at the tooth and said I needed a root canal. This was on the upper right canine tooth. He – to use a word loosely – ‘deadened’ the area then got t’ drillin’. You know the noise. Once the entry wound was made and the tooth opened, he inserted a pick and began rootin’ around for the nerve. I knew exactly when he found it. He withdrew it on the end of the pick and held the Little Wriggler in front of my semi-anesthetized eyes so I could enjoy the show too, I guess. After completing whatever else he had to do to patch the hole, I was discharged. The memory, tho’, wasn’t. I still despise his lack of professionalism.

    I’m glad your surgery was painless. That novocaine thing never worked well for me. My regular dentist finally arrived at the solution of putting me in the chair, injecting me, sending me to the waiting room for about 20 minutes, then starting the procedure. Even then, I wasn’t completely anesthetized. That’s why I was ecstatic when I could have my teeth yanked under anesthesia in the dentist’s office. One minute I was awake, next minute I was awake and toothless. Didn’t feel a thing ’til the anesthesia wore off – but I had pain meds for that.

    We’re gettin’ colder starting tonite. Sunday’s going to be our coldest day, too. I’ll be watching Youngest Grandson while my daughter and SIL go to dinner for Valentine’s Day. I still consider it somewhat odd that it can be abbreviated as ‘VD.’ Youngest Grandson and I will be a-cookin’ up some goodies. Magic Oatmeal will be the starter. That’s Irish oatmeal with heaps of butter and cream, then a bit of allspice or cinnamon (your pick) and lots of Double Chocolate Powder added. After that, dessert will be Mystically Thick ‘n Syrupy Ice Cream. Any ice cream will do as a base. The ‘Mystically’ part is mixed fruit in heavy syrup heated in a pot with pineapple preserves, cinnamon or nutmeg to taste, and arrowroot or cornstarch slurry added to thicken the syrup. Spoon the hot mixed fruit over the ice cream and let the flavors run together. He’ll be on such a sugar high when they pick him up … but, both dishes are ones we’ve already shared together in the past, and we both like ‘em, soooo …

    We never had much of a police blotter when I was growing up in New Orleans. I’m sure we had crime, but it was only reported on the first few pages, never in an official ‘Police Blotter’ setting. That’s why I like the Arcata Eye’s police reports. The Ol’ Dude doin’ the reportage is sho’ nuf a Mellow Fellow, as is easily discerned by his … umm … ‘laid-back’ writing style.

    Like you, I wonder how the Veterans Lane sign went missing – with the pole – without attracting notice. The Pepsi cans story … am I correct in understanding that the complainant regards TWO cans as ‘litter’ … ? Get that boy a sedative and a glass of water … he’s wrapped way too tight for real life.

    • katry Says:

      Richard,
      Before I went to Ghana, I was required to have all dental work done. I hadn’t been to the dentist in a while as I only went I had a problem. I went and had all my teeth with cavities filled, had two root canals and two wisdom teeth removed. Since then, I have been almost religious in having my teeth checked. Today’s work though went under surgery so my health insurance picked up the tab, most of it alway. I was happy for that.

      I am not a huge fan of oatmeal, but I think I’d have a couple of bowls of the concoction of the oatmeal and ice cream you and your grandson cook up.

      The blotter of my youth had the silliest reports like the woman who heard noises in her yard. As far as I can remember, there were no real crimes necessitating a police investigation, but that has changed there and just about everywhere.

      I don’t know if there was more “liter” than pictured, but either way the guy is overreacting by calling the police.

  4. Bob Says:

    My dentist swabs the inside of my mouth in the area with lidocaine before he sticks me with the needle. This reduces the pain from the pin prick considerably. Generally, I will only have oral surgery under general anesthesia and general dentistry with high levels of nitrous.

    I took a criminology course in college and the professor told us that everything we know about criminal behavior we have learned from the crooks who were failures and got caught. 🙂

    My favorite story is about the bank robber who handed the teller his hold up note on his checkbook deposit slip. The police had no trouble finding his apartment. The successful criminals are still out there purpertrating white collar crimes. Bernie Maydoff would still be running the world’s largest ponzi scheme if his sons didn’t turn him in to the authorities.

    Today was another sunny day with mild 70 degree temperature. This weekend should be cooler with a chance of rain on Sunday.

    • katry Says:

      Bob,
      My dentist does the same thing. This guy is not my dentist but is a periodontist I will see one more time then I doubt I’ll see him again.

      My guess is your course did not talk about idiots who rob a store wearing GPS monitors. I love your bank robber story. He too can be added to the list of idiots.

      Your weekend should be cooler remark made me laugh. Cooler to me is the 7˚ predicted for tonight.

      It is really cold right now. We’re talking a high of 24˚ today.

  5. Rick Oztown Says:

    We had a cold front come through, so, instead of 80, we only had 76 as a high. (Wah!) But, better days are back again today. All the doors and windows are open, and I’ve been wandering around outside helping the wifey with my tee shirt on.

    I’ll quit now: Hope you all survive the icy apocalypse!

    • katry Says:

      Rick,
      You’ll have to wait a bit until I pull the knife out of my back!!

      Everything is closed up tight. The house is warm and cozy. I too am wearing a tee shirt but under my sweatshirt!


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