“This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don’t touch me—oh, god!”

All glorious adjectives are springing from my dancing fingers to describe the morning. The sun is where are my sunglasses bright and the sky is the bluest blue in any palette. It is warm, the warmest in a long while. I can hear my deck calling. My book is nearly finished so it and I will amble outside later to enjoy this lovely day. Gracie is already outside and has been all morning. That is one smart puppy!

Two red spawns have found each other, and I’m thinking they’re spooning. This morning both of the red beasties were on my deck eating at the bird feeders. They ran as soon as I grabbed my hose. Later they were chasing each other up and down branches and tree trunks. That’s all I need, a family of spawns living in my backyard.

I used to think squirrels were cute standing on their hind legs begging for peanuts when I visited the Boston Public Garden. They were everywhere running and chasing each other. I think they were the first wildlife I ever fed when I was little. My dad would give me a bag of peanuts in the shell and once a peanut appeared hordes of squirrels ran and stood all around me hoping for one. I’d throw a peanut or two and the crowd of squirrels would head to the thrown nut. I thought it was fun, but then again I was too young to realize I was perpetuating a species of spawns.

My backyard has attracted a variety of animals. I saw a coyote back there a couple of times but not since the fence. Inside the fence there has been the giant raccoon, the spraying skunk, the playing dead possum, the baby grey squirrel chattering at me as I saved it from the mighty hunter, Gracie, and a mouse. The last one was sort of funny. Both Gracie and the mouse were around a tree trunk-one chasing and the other being chased. It reminded me of the tigers running around the tree until they turned to butter. I finally grabbed Gracie and the mouse ran to safety. I expect both were a bit dizzy.

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8 Comments on ““This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don’t touch me—oh, god!””

  1. Caryn Says:

    Hi Kat,
    No squirrel stories here today except Piki Dog chased three newbies up several trees. He tried to climb up after them but that didn’t work too well. The squirrels seemed completely unfazed by it all. They should probably not count on dogs being unable to climb trees, though. My old dog Tegan could and Piki Dog’s technique is improving.

    Today is lovely. Blue skies. Light breezes. Still only in the mid-60’s F but I’ll take that. Better than mid-90’s for sure.

    I spent most of yesterday reading a book that I couldn’t put down. This morning was spent paying bills. I think the afternoon should be spent going for ice cream or pizza. Or both. 🙂

    Enjoy your book on the deck.

    • Hi Caryn,
      Gracie is the best hunter of beasties than any of my other dogs. I’ve caught her with many a creature in her mouth.

      We are cooler nearer the coast you are. I was surprised how warm it was in the western part of the state away from the water. This will be a saving grace come those hot days you mentioned. We seldom get as high as the 90’s, and I’m grateful.

      I have to do bills today. I keep putting it off but it is time!

      Have a wonderful day!!

  2. olof1 Says:

    The dogs scared some squirrels on our walk yesterday and I managed to get some photos of one of them, the squirrels not the dogs 🙂 It’s a young one and very cute 🙂 The ones living here are so shy they usually are hard to find.

    It could have been rather nice here today but the wind that never calms down and destroys every day that could have been nice did just that, destroyed the day. I’m so tired of this bloody wind now and it makes it even worse to know I can’t do anything to stop it 🙂 🙂 We haven’t had one nice summer day so far and in two weeks it will turn towards daker and colder times again, I’m not surprised that people commit suicide when we have summers like this.

    Have a great day!

    • Christer,
      I wish the ones here were as shy. They are brazen creatures, fat and sassy from all the seed they eat.

      We are just coming into really nice weather, not too warm and pleasant enough for outside eating and reading. The heat won’t be here until late in July and then we have August and humidity.

      I do remember summer so cold we were still wearing sweaters in the middle of July. I’d hate another summer like that.

      Have a great evening!

  3. Bob Says:

    Kat, you are the only person that I have ever known that’s nice to varments. You catch mice humanly and then relocate them. I say off with their heads for that’s what traps were designed to do. Skunks will spray you with the worst smelling stuff known to nature if you even get close. I understand the only antidote is canned tomato juice. Squirrels also carry rabies and other viruses that can make you or your pets very sick. Possums are also carriers of viruses but they play dead and then bite you when you get too close. I like to call all those creatures, road kill. Coyote’s will just have Gracie for Thanksgiving dinner. 🙂

    Another warm sunny day with a high of 95 degrees.

    • Bob,
      I just couldn’t handle being responsible for killing them when I can get rid of them alive.

      Actually tomato juice really doesn’t work at all. It is a myth. I have on hand a product called Nature’s Miracle Skunk Odor Removal, and it works great. You can also use a home remedy consisting of 1 quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide, ¼ cup baking soda and 1 teaspoon liquid soap. The soap breaks up the oils in the skunk spray and allows the other ingredients to do their work. It is that skunk oil you have to get rid of as it is the smell.

      The possums just took off and ran. It didn’t want to be near me any more than I near it. Gracie is actually too big for a coyote. It prefers smaller dogs and cats. My friend heard her dog crying and ran outside. It was a sheltie and the coyote had it by the back haunches. My friend screamed and the coyote dropped the dog. It only had tooth marks on it- lucky dog.

      It was in the mid to high 60’s today.

      • Bob Says:

        Thanks, another urban legend bites the dust. Maybe, it works with Bloody Mary mix and lot’s of Vodka. 🙂

  4. Bob,
    I think you’re solution would work perfectly for me, not Gracie!

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