“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
In the movies, people grit their teeth or chew on a belt while surgery is performed without anesthesia. Off goes the leg, the patient smiles in thanks then passes out from the pain. The next day the one-legged patient is up and around using a tree branch as a crutch. It’s not only inspiring but we also know exactly what to do should we ever find ourselves deep in the forest needing our leg amputated using only a Swiss Army knife, the one with fork and the toothpick. I, however, am not inspired. I’d spit out that belt, curse and scream my head off. I know this because my back is now cause for cursing. When I sit too long or when I sleep, my back stiffens up, and I have to grab whatever I can like door knobs or bureau corners to help propel myself forward. In the morning the added need is speed to get to the bathroom. I moan and groan at every step and let slip a curse. Okay, I admit it: several curses. Gracie, sitting on the bed, cocks her head and wonders. Fern lies on her back meowing for attention. I just keep moving.
After I am up for a while, the stiffness almost goes away. At my best, I think I look like the second or third ape from the right on the evolutionary chart. We’re definitely cousins.
A few stops are on my dance card today. I am out of sunflower seeds and cat litter but don’t warn or worry. I will not be lifting them. They’ll be put it in the trunk for me, and Skip is coming tomorrow to do a couple of things so he’ll move the bags into the house.
It is time to treat myself. I’ll have another cup of coffee and a biscotti I bought yesterday, a chocolate biscotti . Call it a reward for getting out of bed.
Explore posts in the same categories: MusingsTags: amputation, cursing, dance card, errands, gentleman's gentleman, gritting teeth, inspiration, lady's maid, painful, stiff back, sunflower seeds
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December 3, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Down the Aldwich, one Andrew Lloyd Webber, he of Cat fame and other tedious musicals is about to thrust upon an innocent world, Stephen Ward The Musical.
London has already experienced one crap musical on the Profumo affair, and now ALW is about to reduce John, Stephen, Mandy Rice Davis, Valerie Hobson, some Ruskie spy, Harold MacMillan and, of course, Christine Keeler to dancing singing Muppets.
Profumo remained completely silent about the event and dedicated his life to outreach in the East End of London as did his wife Valerie Hobson
I wish that Webber had devoted more time to getting a decent plastic surgeon than exploiting those living and those who have past as some sort of singing Pussy Cats.
December 3, 2013 at 1:07 pm
My Dear Hedley,
I can see how this won’t fill theater seats. It has sex, lies and politics, all every day sort of events which won’t draw a crowd.
I hadn’t seen ALW in a long while so I went looking. I think he was going for the wide-eyed look of wonder. I probably wouldn’t have recognized him.
December 3, 2013 at 1:31 pm
Now You both got me interested 🙂 Songs about sex, lies and politics, coul they be anything but hits 🙂 🙂
in the photos I found of him he sort of looks surprised 🙂 I guess one can see life as one big surprise so perhaps it’s the look to have from now on?
December 3, 2013 at 1:34 pm
I would like to think that Rice-Davis and Keeler would benefit financially from the plastic Mr. Mistoffelees, but I guess they will simply be subjected to more voyeurism across the gulf of 50 years.
December 3, 2013 at 1:50 pm
Christer
It should really have starred Anni-Frid as Mandy Rice-Davies and Agnetha as Christine Keeler. Let Bjorn and Bennie throw in a couple of tunes and you have the makings of a huge hit. How hard can it be to change “Waterloo” to “Profumo” ?
December 3, 2013 at 1:50 pm
MDH,
The interest hasn’t died? I’d have thought it had over all this time.
December 3, 2013 at 1:56 pm
Kat,
Not really, heck they have even tried twice this year to turn the whole thing in to a musical. As you might have read elsewhere, the Profumo Affair kicked down the doors of English Society and in marched, the Train Robbers, Carnaby Street, The Rolling Stones, drug busts.
December 3, 2013 at 3:36 pm
MDH,
I guess a sex scandal has long shelf life.
December 3, 2013 at 1:35 pm
I know thag back pain and as long as one is moving around life feels rather well but after sitting down for a while! Doesn’t help much to use a heat pad either but it is at least warm for a while 🙂
I bought a pond sack with sunflower seeds last week but I doubt it will last until the weekend after the coming one as I hope it will 🙂
Windy, grey and dull here but that will soon change towards cold and snowy they say.
Have a great day!
Christer.
December 3, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Christer,
The heat expands the muscles which can make it worse, but you are so right-it does feel good, all that warmth.
I filled the big feeder with th sat of the seed this morning. I wasn’t going to but there were so many birds looking for seed I felt guilty so out I went.
Grey and dull and damp here. An ugly day all around.
Enjoy your evening!
December 3, 2013 at 2:07 pm
“I wish that Webber had devoted more time to getting a decent plastic surgeon than exploiting those living and those who have past as some sort of singing Pussy Cats.”
Oh, Hedley, that is just PERFECT. I abhor the man and his music. Plus he’s giving Bruce Jenner a run for his money.
Okay, Kat, I believe it’s time for you to dig out the surgeon’s phone number and give him a call. TWO surgeries and you’re still in pain? Maybe you need to find a new doctor. I really feel sorry for you and promise not to complain that I was feeling stiff this morning and took a couple of Advil — which did the trick. I think you might need a little more help than that. Feel better fast! Maybe this will help:
December 3, 2013 at 3:35 pm
im6,
Thank you-great song. Her pain is so much worse than mine!
I think I pulled a muscle or something as the pain isn’t localized but across my back. The surgery pain was all on one side, and I never had the stiffness I’ve gotten this past week in the morning. After the last surgery, the third, (a new surgeon-I had two others from the old surgeon) I felt better than I had for ages. If it doesn’t stop, I will give him a call and do some moaning!
Damn your Advil!
December 3, 2013 at 3:47 pm
I hope your back will be better soon. Some Christmas angels would be nice to help you moving, carrying, perhaps even flying? Maybe Skip is a Christmas angel in disguise.
I will never understand the success of musicals. In the late 80’s a musical started in my home town. I gave it a few month, because I couldn’t believe that people will visit this ugly town by choice to see silly trains on roller skates. I was so wrong, 25 years later Webber’s Starlight Express is still running.
December 3, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Birgit,
I need a Christmas miracle I guess. Skip is a good guy and will do whatever I need done. He even grabs my trash.
I am not a fan of musicals. The Cape Playhouse had almost an entire season of musicals last summer which bummed me out. I have orchestra seats and ended up giving several away. I didn’t care. The musicals bring in more people for each performance than drama or comedy. They just don’t bring me in.
December 3, 2013 at 4:21 pm
Oliver – Two thumbs way up for Oliver.
December 3, 2013 at 6:13 pm
MDH,
I admit to liking West Side Story.
December 3, 2013 at 5:34 pm
You want the Victorinox Forester:
1. http://www.victorinox.com/ca/product/Swiss-Army-Knives/Category/Hunting/Forester/54848
… with the saw blade; or
2. http://www.canadianoutdoorequipment.com/store/bahco-laplander-saw.html
Cheers
December 3, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Minicapt,
My Swiss Army knife was a gift from my then boyfriend on my 21st birthday, that and a magnum of champagne. Both he and the champagne are gone but I still have that knife. It has travelled the world with me, and I do no traveling without it, including my last two trips to Ghana. Now, though, it travels in my luggage.
December 3, 2013 at 7:14 pm
Only one SAK? Sad …
Cheers
December 3, 2013 at 7:18 pm
Ah, but such memories it carries!
I do have a small one, single blade, on my key ring.
December 3, 2013 at 5:57 pm
Hi Kat,
I think it’s the weather that makes all our old injuries, man-made and otherwise, stiffen up and bite us. The past few days I have felt like several trucks have run over me every time I get up off the couch. Once I’m up and moving around for a bit things are fine. Let me stop for a minute and I have to start all over again.
Parenthetically, I have gone many years without hearing the name of Bruce Jenner but I have heard it twice today. Both times in connection with end-stage plastic surgery. I think I will not google an image. 🙂
I hope your back eases up quickly or that your surgeon can do something more effective for you.
Treating yourself sounds like a great idea.
I’m going to go treat myself now, too.
Enjoy the day.
December 3, 2013 at 6:07 pm
“End-stage plastic surgery.” Well that’s certainly the funniest and most descriptive (and accurate) term I’ve heard for Jenner’s condition. Just so you know, Caryn, Bruce now looks like a pre-op transexual (and not a pretty one at that). Meow!
December 3, 2013 at 6:17 pm
im6,
I always thought his face look a bit undefined, amorphous. Now it defies description.
December 3, 2013 at 6:11 pm
Hi Caryn,
Right now my back feels great, the best since last week. Your last few days sound just like mine. I also think age plays a part in all of this.
Do not google an image of Bruce-you’ll have nightmares.
Tonight will be the back test.
Have a great evening!
December 3, 2013 at 9:04 pm
MDH,
Love that! No touchups needed.
December 3, 2013 at 6:19 pm
I did the googling for you…. http://hollywoodnose.com/images/net_worth1/bruce-jenner-wealth/bruce-jenner-net-worth.jpg
December 3, 2013 at 6:33 pm
im6,
Hope you don’t mind if I skip the thank you!
December 3, 2013 at 6:44 pm
What?! You weren’t thrilled with the results? Imagine how Bruce must feel!
December 3, 2013 at 7:03 pm
im6,
He still has that cocky look but it looks melted together.
December 3, 2013 at 8:08 pm
I also like the term “casket ready”
December 4, 2013 at 10:50 am
Hope you are feeling better Kat, a nip of whiskey always seems to help as well.