“To portray a maniac offers a compelling challenge.”

Last night Gracie was bored. How do I know? She took her toys out of her toy box just because she wanted to. She then went and knocked a few things off a shelve and knocked over the canister where I put my change. I gave her a chew, one which takes time and effort. She went outside and buried it. How do I know? When she came back inside, she shook her head and globs of wet dirt flew all over this room including on the TV and my computer screen. I got wet paper towels and washed her face paying particular attention to her nose, the tool she uses to push the dirt over the hole. Later she resurrected the chew, and it was disgusting and dirty.

We all went to bed round 11:30. Gracie was still panting so much from her exertions the bed was shaking. I decided to turn on the AC to help her calm down. It worked. Within a short time, Gracie was quietly sleeping. Some time during the night, she moved and was on the other side of the bed beside me taking far more than her share of room. How do I know? I turned over, ran out of room and fell out of bed. It was a shock. I sat for a minute then decided because I was up or maybe down depending on how you look at it I might as well go to the bathroom. The bathroom floor was soaked. I thought leak then I saw lightning and more lightning. It was quick and short almost like the spark from a Zippo lighter just about out of fluid. You keep turning the wheel hoping to get a flame but all you get is that quick burst of light. That’s what I saw. The floor and the windowsill were soaked from the storm I had slept through.

When I went on the deck, I saw the candle holders were almost filled with rain so it had been a mighty storm, a deluge. I called my friend who couldn’t believe I didn’t hear the thunder. He said it was loud and lasted a long while, and those shorts bursts of lightning I saw were at the end of the storm, after the rain. If I hadn’t fallen out of bed, I would have missed everything. I guess it was a serendipitous fall.

While I was on the deck, I noticed a red tail hanging from the back of my squirrel buster feeder. It was the small red spawn of Satan, too light for the squirrel buster to work. That creature eats the seed all the time, and I’ve had it. I keep the hose with a nozzle hanging from the deck as I use it to water the garden below, the pots near it and to fill the watering can. I took the nozzle, moved it to jet and then sprayed the red squirrel. I have never seen that spawn move so quickly. Maniacal laughter sprang from my lips. I felt a bit like Dr. Frankenstein when the monster moved, “It’s alive. It’s alive,” became, ” Run for your life, you spawn. I have you now.”

I’m thinking a long rest might be in order.

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26 Comments on ““To portray a maniac offers a compelling challenge.””

  1. olof1 Says:

    Sometimes we sleep as if we had died and nothing seems to be able to wake us up. Once one of the higher houses in my neighborhood started burning and the sound could be heard miles away, I lived a few hundred yards away, slept with an open window and heard nothing πŸ™‚

    Even though I do like squirrels I would have laughed too when You got it πŸ™‚ I doubt it learned anything though πŸ™‚

    Long time since I fell out of my bed, I now days have placed my bed so that one side is turned towards the wall and I always sleep close to the wall. No chance of any dogs making me fall during the night πŸ™‚

    Sunny but cold here today and very windy too. Well autumn is on its way so there’s no use in complaining.

    Have a great day!
    Christer.

    • katry Says:

      Christer,
      Sometimes tired trumps all that noise and we sleep like the dead. Usually I hear thunder, but I must have been really exhausted.

      If I keep hosing it down, maybe it will get tired of being soaked and stop coming. That jet spray is pretty strong.

      Usually Gracie sleeps at the bottom of the bed, but I think the air conditioning gets too cold after a while so she moves up the bed and right beside me. She even uses a pillow.

      Ugly after storm day here today-damp and cloudy. I figure it might rain later.

      Enjoy your evening!

  2. Caryn Says:

    Hi Kat,
    Yesterday was that kind of day. Rocky spent most of it on the couch right beside me. I think I slept some of it, too.
    Today is a little wetter than yesterday but it’s just as dingy.

    My father got ticked off enough at squirrels twice in his life and both times he was a little bit sorry. The first was a red squirrel that was cussing him out from a tree stump. Dad had been slogging through the woods for a couple days hunting deer with no success and was in a foul mood. He shot the cussing squirrel and then he felt bad about it but, of course, it was too late for the squirrel. I think he may have stopped hunting shortly after that.
    The second time, he got irritated at a grey squirrel that was cussing him out from a branch in the walnut tree. Dad picked up a fallen walnut and shagged it at the squirrel, assuming that he would miss the silly thing. Clonk! Right on the squirrel’s head. It fell out of the tree and landed on the lawn. It was very still. My father watched it for a while and it finally came to, shook itself and ran, groggily, up the walnut tree.
    You could do so much worse to them than spritzing them with the jet hose. πŸ™‚

    My bed also has one long side shoved up against the wall underneath a window. If I fall out on that side, it’s two storeys down. I’m not worried, though. I’m too big to slip through that window without a lot of exertion. πŸ™‚

    Enjoy the day.

    • katry Says:

      Hi Caryn,
      I don’t know what made yesterday so boring, but I also took a nap, a really long one too. I was bored but far better behaved than Gracie.

      The red squirrels sit on a branch and always give me hell. They chatter and squeal at me for no reason. I do not rue having soaked the spawn and will use that as my anti-red squirrel weapon for now on.

      My bed is not against any wall, and I alternate the side I sleep on. Gracie, though, has trouble adjusting to my changes of sides. She moves a lot as she is always in different spots when I wake up. The worst is when she lies perpendicular at the bottom of the bed. In my sleep, I adjust by bending my legs so she has room. I do it while I’m sleeping.

      Have a great Sunday!

  3. Bob Says:

    Sometimes I sleep through the fiercest of storms. Luckily, non of them has harbored a tornado or strong straight line winds which can take your roof off the house or crush your dwelling.

    We have tons of squirrels who run around the edge of the roof or on the eight foot fence sounding the back yard teasing the dog unmercifully. He will spend hours jumping at the trunk of the only tree in the yard trying to get at those varmints. If you want to rid yourself of the squirrels then get a 412 gauge air shotgun and load it with rat shot. One good load of rat shot and your squirrel problem will be over πŸ™‚ It’s also useful for mice, but not inside the house.

    Today is forecast for the highest temperature of the summer. About 105 degrees without the heat index calculation. There is a very slight chance of scattered rain showers tomorrow and Tuesday. With my lousy luck so far this summer there has been only a couple of sprinkles on my yard.

    • katry Says:

      Bob,
      I don’t have to worry about sleeping through roof lifting storms, just thunder and lightning. I have had the trees and branches which could damage the house removed or trimmed.

      I wouldn’t be comfortable owning or using a gun, just not in my nature. I’ll stick to the jet spray from the hose. This summer the gray squirrels haven’t been around too much. It is the damn red one causing all the problems.

      The rain filled what had been an empty dog water bowl. I don’t know how much but it was inches of rain. It rained in Boston today as the Sox were delayed a bit so maybe it is on its way here. The storm last night was a strange one-from the west, most unusual.

      I had enough of over 100˚ days when I lived in Ghana without the luxury of AC or even a fan.

      • Bob Says:

        I am not worried about damage from trees in a storm. I am worried about the storm itself wrecking the house. That’s why I buy insurance.

      • katry Says:

        Bob,
        Damage here comes from what the storms knocks down. We have been lucky that the hurricanes were not roof raising but tree dropping.


  4. Kat,

    This was certainly one of your funniest posts and really brightened my mood today. If Gracie was in arm’s reach I would have been giving her the smoochingest hugs – I already love her to bits! (Hope you didn’t hurt your back when she knocked you out of bed.)

    Marie

    • katry Says:

      Marie,
      I’m glad it brightened your mood. I had a day like that a few days ago so I called my sister in Colorado. She perked up my day.

      Gracie is a licker and she’d lick your face and arms until you were soaked. She also loves a good hug and a kiss to go along with it. My sisters say she is a bit of a brat-they’re right!!


  5. I wonder why my comments don’t publish anymore. Now I have to wait for moderation. That’s new.

    Marie


  6. Kat,

    Remember a while back my Google account was deleted? Well, I’ve still been signing in at WP with that email address, but I guess they cottoned on to the fact that it wasn’t active anymore. Fortunately, I had another email address associated with that WP account for recovery purposes. Though I’m able to sign in to make the comments with that one, I guess it recognizes that it’s not the “official” address. I know – boring – but the “whys” of these little techno problems intrigue me!

    I know if I met Gracie, I’d be insanely in love! Please give her a hug from me and accept her kisses on my behalf!

    Marie

    • katry Says:

      Marie,
      Techno problems make me curse a whole lot. The computer is supposed to work logical but sometimes I wonder how logic is defined by my computer!

      I’ll pass the hug along!! Right now she’s in her crate sleeping and snoring.


  7. Kat,

    It published – maybe you’re “recognized” after the first moderation! I feel like a full-fledged member again.

    Marie


  8. Kat,

    In keeping with today’s musical theme:

    https://app.box.com/s/cewmkxxg29sq4jrs4ydi

    Marie


  9. Kat,

    I didn’t realize that it wasn’t set for dl – try it now. Glad you like it – it was released on Stax by Wendy in 1964.

    Marie

  10. im6 Says:

    Here’s my contribution to the KTCC pot luck:

    • katry Says:

      im6,
      I have never heard this before and it’s a great song. I don’t know many Tennessee Ernie. This is a fun, lively song!

  11. Lori Kossowsky Says:

    Wonderful post as always. I once slept thru a three alarm fire right next to my house. I can see you spraying that squirrel with a vengeance.. I’ll have to check on Wendy Rene…
    I agree a nap is in order. Your post made laugh so much. As you can see my brain is not quite in working order, it doesn’t get that way ( if it does) until late in the evening, but I wanted to wave.

    Waving,
    Lori and crew

    • katry Says:

      Hi Lori,
      Thank you for being complimentary as usual!! You would have laughed as the jet spray followed the squirrel all the way down the deck rail. Its little feet were going so fast.

      Gracie was a brat, I missed the rain, I fell out of bed, and I sprayed the squirrel-those were nap deserving!!

      I turned on the air conditioner!

      Waving back!!


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