“I’ll just tell you what I remember because memory is as close as I’ve gotten to building my own time machine.”

I looked up perfect day in the dictionary and found a picture of today. The morning is cool, the sun bright, the sky the darkest of blues and the leaves on the trees sport the look of newness which comes in spring. Both the sky and the leaves are so lovely you’d think they were painted from a palette filled with the brightest colors.

Mostly I never think about making memories. They just sort of stick and now and then something brings one out, and I am flooded with a forgotten memory. I suspect my memory drawers are overflowing because I only get snippets of that memory before it all comes back. I remember getting on the bus to high school and I remember the smell of the bus. On the route was a huge hill, and we went down it on the way to school. We took a left at the end of the hill and a bit further on was a corner store and a few houses which looked alike. On the left side of the road was a beautiful house seemingly out-of-place as all the other houses lack the stateliness of this one house, but as we rode further into Winchester beyond the downtown, all the houses were beautiful and huge. The last thing I remember of that trip I took every day was a stop where Liz got on.

We used to visit my aunt the nun once a year in Connecticut. I have several single pictures, memories, of those visits. Every time we went we’d stop on the Connecticut Turnpike at a brick rest stop. My mother would check us all to make sure we were clean, our hair was combed and our clothes were neat. I remember sitting in the visitors’ living room. We whispered because the convent seemed to engender whispering. A nun always brought us cookies and something to drink. She never made any sound. My aunt didn’t know what to do with us so a tour of her school was a part of the visit. I remember the smell of chalk.

I remember standing outside my room in Winneba, Ghana at the start of training. My room was on the second floor, and from there I could see the rusted tin on all the roofs and the greens of the trees and bushes. If I close my eyes, that scene still comes back to me.

Not all my memories are happy ones, none of us are that lucky. I think the saddest of my memories have their own drawers. Those memories come unbidden at times and bring with them the pain and the sorrow. They remind me that life is a farrago, a mix, a jumble of feelings.

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8 Comments on ““I’ll just tell you what I remember because memory is as close as I’ve gotten to building my own time machine.””


  1. Once again I’m reminded of why I enjoy this blog so much. You’re a treasure, Kat.

  2. t gibons's avatar t gibons Says:

    Farrago. A mix of grains for animal feed. A hodgepodge. From Latin. 1625. Wow. Living with horses—I have lots of experience with grains. And mixing. Living with my life has been a mix. Great word Kat. Yes—I had to look it up!


    • t,
      I confess that the first time I saw it I also had to look it up. It was in a science fiction book I was reading. Immediately I liked the word and vowed to use it when I can. It fit perfectly here, and I gave context clues as to its meaning.

      Now you get to toss it out in conversation!

  3. Bob's avatar Bob Says:

    I read somewhere that every time you recall a memory your brain slightly changes the memory. Maybe that’s how our minds can keep the past memories fresh. I’m amazed that an odor or a snippet of a song can trigger a memory of something that happened fifty years ago as if it happened yesterday and yet most mornings I can’t remember where I left my cell phone. 🙂


    • Bob,
      I don’t just remember, I also see many of my memories. I can close my eyes and take you down the main street of Bolga, naming the buildings as we go.

      Scent is the greatest memory recaller.

      I figure we don’t store where we put our phones as that changes, but our memories have already happened so we hold on to them.

  4. Spaceman's avatar Spaceman Says:

    Nice story and your prose is superb


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