“Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling”
Last night it poured. The snow looks beaten and more of the ground and road can be seen. It is so warm a morning that there is a hazy fog everywhere. The sky is grey. Tree branches are bending and swaying. I can the sound of the wind. It is supposed to be 50˚ today and 13˚ tonight when the cold settles back in for a while.
Grace just called me from Accra, and we chatted until her phone died. In Ghana you buy minutes for your phone and calls everywhere are the same whether it’s to the compound next to yours or to the US. Grace usually runs out of minutes. I called her back but didn’t get through. Grace’s call reminded me of when I called home during my Peace Corps days. The trunk call, the name for a long distance call, had to be set up at the telecommunications building in Accra a day ahead of time. The day of the call you were assigned a phone booth. I closed the door, sat down, picked up the phone and heard the operator from Ghana call London and that operator call White Plains then I heard ringing and my Dad answered the phone. He was shocked to hear me as I hadn’t told them I was calling. It had been over a year since we had last spoken. He was so stunned he must have told me three or four times he was shaving when the phone rang. I next spoke to my mother who told me she missed me and asked if I was really okay. I assured her I was doing just fine and I loved Ghana. You couldn’t say much in three minutes but hearing their voices was more than enough to hold me.
I wonder if staying so closely in touch with home as a volunteer now is a good thing or a bad thing. We wrote aerograms. Mine were filled on every surface with news and my daily doings. I wrote small. I told my family all about my day, the market, the weather and anything else I could think to say. What was routine for me was different and alien to them, and I kept that in mind very time I wrote. I thought my letters were boring, at least they were to me, but to my friends and family they were a look into a whole different world. I used adjectives as if I were being paid by the word. If I were there now, I could Skype and call them as often as I chose. One volunteer I met the second summer there told me she would not be in Ghana if she couldn’t Skype her family every week. That’s what got me to wondering.
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This entry was posted on January 6, 2014 at 11:08 am and is filed under Musings. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.
Tags: aerograms, buying minutes, cold, Ghana calls, rain'fog, Skype, telecommunications building, trunk call, windy
Both comments and pings are currently closed.17 Comments on ““Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling””
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keepthecoffeecoming.blog 
January 6, 2014 at 11:27 am
And after the deluge (Jackson Browne reference) in rushes the Polar Vortex. It all sounds very dramatic but the winds are picking up the air is chilling down and we look forward to some whacky wind chills in the -30F or 40 or 50 or 60 – pick your number.
Its colder than date night listening to Michel LeGrand’s Greatest Hits. You know nothing good is going to come from this and there is nothing you can do about it.
For the first time in some 33 years I called everyone and told them to stay home, my approach was the norm. With a few other buffoons, I chugged over the snow littered roads and sit in an office where the phones are completely silent. I should be home watching “Ellen” and getting ready for Juan Pablo tonight on “The Bachelor”
Kat, I like Skype and I like Facetime even better. Way back when it was too expensive to make international phone calls and now with a push of a button you can join a chum in some far off land. I use both extensively.
January 6, 2014 at 11:36 am
My Dear Hedley,
I also use Skype and Face Time often, mostly with my family in Colorado. It was just the idea that volunteers stayed so connected to home they didn’t leave much room to connect with Ghana. I love talking to my former students in Ghana-they call me usually as the minutes aren’t expensive. Most don’t have computers so we can’t Skype. I keep trying to get them to use one at an internet cafe but they are not computer literate except for e-mails.
I need to go out and do a couple of errands then I’m hunkering down for the duration. You were smart to keep every home but not so smart for yourself. Hope you brought something to read!
Stay warm and safe!
January 6, 2014 at 1:20 pm
Hi Kat,
If I couldn’t live for a pre-determined length of time somewhere unless I could Skype my family every week, I’d have my head examined. 🙂
Although it does make me wonder about the strength of vocation if someone would only volunteer to help if weekly Skyping is allowed.
Aaah! I see the sun! Just now! Must run out and get some. It’s 55ºF and it won’t be that for long.
Enjoy the day.
January 6, 2014 at 2:32 pm
Hi Caryn,
That’s exactly what I thought.
It has nothing to do with allowed but wanting. She just couldn’t bear to be there without keeping in touch every week. Letters weren’t enough nor was the blog she had.
No sun here at all!!
Have a great evening!
January 6, 2014 at 1:24 pm
My last day of vacation and we had much the same weather as we’ve had this winter. Too bad it willchange next weekend and become colder. We’ll get some sunshine though so that’s a good thing.
Perhaps skyping isn’t such a good idea when volunteering, as You say, will they connect with the country and culture they live in as they should without that possibility? I don’t think so but perhaps no one would go if they couldn’t? The world today is so different from when we grew up.
I wonder if we have internet cafés here, never heard that we have. Must exist in the big cities I guess but here on the countryside I think libraries are the place to go to if one doesn’t have the internet. But to be honest, I don’t know a single person that doesn’t have it 🙂 Most of us have it both at home and in our mobile phones.
Have a great day!
Christer.
January 6, 2014 at 2:36 pm
Christer,
It is damp and still foggy. The rain even came back for a bit. It hasn’t started to get cold yet, but I don’t care-I’m in for the duration.
I guess this generation has lived its whole life with technology and expect it to be part of their every day lives. Some volunteers still live without running water or electricity so they have quite a commitment. My friend Ralph lived in the city where he could get everything. He always said he had a vey different experience than mine as I lived in the remote area.
Here too the libraries have computers for people to use. I do know a couple of women without computers: one is 86 and the other 90.
Have a wonderful evening!
January 6, 2014 at 1:34 pm
this morning the air temp was minus 25…with a windchill of around minus 45 or so. i was three hours late for work and frankly they were lucky to see me at all. too bad i can’t skype to work
January 6, 2014 at 2:37 pm
greg,
I can’t imagine it that cold. I complain with single digits and don’t even remember the last time it was below zero even with the wind chill.
I think I wouldn’t have gone into work-that’s too dangerous a cold to be out in if something happens.
Be careful and be safe!
January 6, 2014 at 6:18 pm
Cookie cat is meowing and running around the apt. The line “Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling” caught my eye. I know I can’t go back to where I lived with my parents ( since the house isn’t there, and neither are they), and often wrestle if I have the feeling of home. I keep searching. This isn’t one of my better mornings, and I’m grateful for KTCC. It’s a cloudy icky day here at the moment. I was going to take a walk later, but not sure now. Sometimes, I wish I could Skype to heaven ( where ever my parents and loved ones are). Reminds me of the song or line, I’m gonna write a letter to Jesus…
Waving,
Lori and the Crew.
January 6, 2014 at 7:21 pm
Lori,
I wouldn’t want to live with my parents even if they were still with me. I am way beyond that. I made a home in Ghana even though I knew the time was limited. I think making a home, or nesting maybe, can be anywhere. I’m not sure I know what it takes, but I just know it.
Clouds do get you down. I’m hoping for sun for you tomorrow!
Waving!!
January 6, 2014 at 7:34 pm
Thanks, Kat. I could never live with my parents. On my 18th birthday I was out of the door and college bound. Nesting is something I can do. I guess I’m home now.
Waving from my nest!
January 6, 2014 at 7:43 pm
You are most welcome, Lori!
Waving back to you in your nest!
January 7, 2014 at 9:07 am
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said volunteers wouldn’t connect with their host countries if they were Skypeing to home. Almost like saying, “I’m here but I don’t really want to be –I’d rather be home.” But the same thing happens here in the U.S. (or many other countries). People are out with their friends but are texting to someone else far away. As for me, I enjoy being disconnected so I can live in the moment and enjoy the present.
Grace finally called yesterday and said our baskets are on the way. Peg said she either got a new phone or a new service. We shall see.
January 7, 2014 at 11:03 am
Bill,
I’m with you on enjoying being disconnected. I got over being homesick and enjoyed the experience of living in Africa.
Grace called me yesterday too and told me she would be calling you about the baskets. She got a new phone but she doesn’t know all of its ins and outs yet. Did she tell you the cost of postage?
January 8, 2014 at 2:39 pm
Your post reminds me of when relatives would travel to Ireland and bring back a newspaper. Boy, that thing would be picked over by every family member like ants invading a picnic. You couldn’t clip anything to save because there was a “next person” scheduled to read it – – and on down the line. Sometimes by the time my grandmother got it it would be beat up and WAY out of date – – didn’t matter, as she read it as if it came out the previous day.
Me being the media nut in family, I always looked first to the radio and TV listings.I remember noticing that they were several years behind in their episodes of “The Brady Bunch”. Isn’t it funny what you remember as a kid?
I used to wonder what radio in Ireland sounded like…and it seemed then as if the only way I was actually going to hear it was if I actually got their someday. Now it’s just a click away on my ‘puter. My adopted Mom stays in touch with her great-grandson via Skype.Some may put it down, but I think technology is wonderful…
Waving from Jersey…
Coleen
January 8, 2014 at 3:13 pm
Coleen,
I was like that in Ghana with the Sunday NY Times. It had been a gift and usually I’d get 4 or 5 papers at the same time. I’d read front to back and all the sections. My house boy would then sell it in the market to make himself more money. It was funny to buy rice in a conical shaped piece of the New York Times.
It is true about what you remember. My sister told me a story the other day about her and my other sister. The clarity of her memory was amazing and it centered around a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I too love technology. I keep in touch with the students in Africa on the phone now. I did wonder, though, about the experience of that volunteer I mentioned. She would not have gone to Ghana except for Skype. My friend Bill above also believes as I do that we had a stronger connection to Ghana ever now after all this time because it became home. I missed my family, but I didn’t miss home.
January 8, 2014 at 3:13 pm
Waving from chilly Cape Cod!