“Visits always give pleasure – if not the arrival, the departure.”
The sky is a vibrant blue and the sun is warm. A slight breeze makes the day delightful. This morning my house is quiet. The routine of every day has returned because my company left last night. I miss them. Having company interrupts routine in the best possible way. We laugh, chat and enjoy being together. The house is filled with sounds different than every day when only the animals and I move about, and I’m the only voice. Gracie is sleeping on the couch which she does every morning except she didn’t for the last couple. She was intent on missing nothing and was our constant companion. The deck is empty and quiet. My sister should be out there reading her book and following the sun as it moves about the house. I need to get used to the quiet again.
I never lived alone until I was in Ghana. The house, where I grew up, was small, and there were six of us always bumping into each other. When we moved to the cape, I had my own room, but the house was never quiet. The kitchen, close to my bedroom, was the hubbub of activity. I didn’t mind. It had been the same all of my life. College was no different. I could fall asleep surrounded by people and noise.
I lived alone in Ghana, on one side of a duplex. It was the first time in my life I wasn’t surrounded by family or friends. I was depressed, lonely and homesick and had no one to talk to about it. I couldn’t tell my fellow staff members. It would sound a bit insulting. I did write to friends about it, and that was cathartic, but it was only a stop gap. The loneliness returned. I decided I would leave at the end of term one if nothing changed, but I was lucky. Everything changed.
I began to enjoy being alone, having time to myself. Ghana and my four rooms became home. At night, I’d sit outside under the most magnificent starlit sky with my mouth opened in awe then I’d go inside, read and listen to music. During the day I’d teach and in-between classes I’d go home and be by myself with my book and a cup of coffee until the next class. I enjoyed being alone and found company disruptive. I was at the polar opposite of where I had begun.
It took a while to find the middle, but I did. Company was welcomed. Being alone was never lonely. That’s still the way it is. I miss my recent company and their voices and their movements about the house, but I’m content to be alone.
Explore posts in the same categories: MusingsTags: being alone, company, Ghana, homesickness, Peace Corps, visitors
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keepthecoffeecoming.blog 
June 30, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Much the same here 🙂 I love being alone at home because I´m very sociable all other time 🙂 But I do prefer to go to others than having them here at home to be honest. I don´t mind visitors though.
Nova runs around by the fence towards the field checking out the big tractor that gathers the cut grass 🙂 She must have full control of this noisy machine so she only relaxes when they drive away to empty the carriage 🙂 🙂
Have a great day!
Christer.
June 30, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Christer,
I like company for dinner as it gives me the chance to try new recipes which I would never do for myself.
Nova probably feels she drove away the big machine!
June 30, 2011 at 2:53 pm
I recall my first semester at college where I was so lonely the first week, till I met my first college friend. I would call my parents and cry. Virginia and I still remain friends after all these years, though she lives in Maine and we don’t see each other often.
Jewels just woke me up and my brain doesn’t function till much later but i thought I’d post anyway.
Summers, by the beach I didn’t care how many friends I had, as long as we were by the beach and I had a good book to read.
I can tell I am becoming drowsy again. BTW, we lost at city council for the budget to include the warm pool. My obsession. I’ve always been a black and white woman, and still looking to find the middle. You’re a good friend, Kat.
Sleepy Waves,
Lori
June 30, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Lori,
I loved being away for college, especially my junior and senior year when I had an off-campus apartment.
I do miss my company. It was fun. The deck has been empty most of the day since they left. Gracie too loved having company.
Sorry about the pool. I know how much it meant to you.
June 30, 2011 at 5:20 pm
I wouldn’t know what to do without my wife. I asked her to marry me on our second date. It was love at first sight. It’s been a wonderful relationship for 35 years. I just hope I go first.
June 30, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Z&Me,
I am amazed it was the second date-how wonderful for both of you!!!
I think you’re far too young to think along those lines now.
June 30, 2011 at 11:02 pm
I’m with you, my wife and I have been together for 40 years now and I can’t imagine life without her. OK, I’d have a motorcycle, but besides that……..
Since she retired last summer it’s been even better than ever. We do simple things together, such as turning grocery shopping into ‘dates’, traveling, and sharing projects we’d never think of accomplishing alone. Sure, we’re not always together, doing the same things, not tripping over each other, not a smarmy constant couple, but in some strange way, we’re still two halves of one life.
July 1, 2011 at 11:32 am
Old Folkie,
Having never married, living alone has been my way of life, without complaint, and I did have a motorcycle in my far back youth.
I love your dates and the way you match without being attached at the hips.
June 30, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I enjoy the times that I am alone as I am now here in Toronto. It’s great to be home among the family tumult. However, I enjoy my monthly business trips to get away for awhile. The weather here in Toronto is beautiful today with blue skies, a slight breeze with temperatures in the mid 20s Celsius (75 Fahrenheit). When in Rome, do as the Romans.
Company is like fish, after three days they both begin to stink. When I visit relatives or friends I always stay in a Hotel. This aggravates my sister in law and brother in law to death. They get offended that we don’t want to stay in their house.
June 30, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Bob,
Your weather sounds just like mine was today. It was a gorgeous day.
My family in Colorado is wonderful when I stay there. They are perfect hosts. Other than there, I seldom visit anyone. I do have one planned in October and another in the spring but both are only weekends.
July 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm
Kat – –
I will soon go from living by myself (for many years) to a situation where I will rent a room from a woman who is divorced with three kids – – ages 10, 7, and 6.
No, seriously. The kids are great and well behaved. And there’s even a dog.
A part of me thinks I’ve gone nuts.
And a part of me cannot help but think that there may be some kind of sitcom out of this – – :0
Waving from Jersey – –
Coleen
July 1, 2011 at 11:47 pm
Hi Coleen,
I don’t know if I could give up my privacy. That sounds like a darn full house (oops, your sitcom can’t take that name-already done!)
I’ll be curious to hear how you like the change.
Waving back from busy with people Cape Cod.
July 2, 2011 at 10:58 am
Kat,
I think your scrambling of terms is quite poetic. I like the ring of this, “The kitchen, close to my bedroom, was the hubbub of activity.”
The combination of hub/hubbub is GREAT.
Thanks,
Rick
July 2, 2011 at 11:28 am
Thanks, Rick, but I can’t take credit. It’s a word I learned a long time ago which just hangs around in my head waiting for an opportunity to surface. I have a lot of them. I can’t wait to use bamboozle.